Polygyny Might be OK but it Cuts Off Fellowship

[Shadowjak's Dancer]

As far as the original post is concerned, I think there is another aspect to be considered. In many Christian circles, especially church organizations, much emphasis is placed on such things as the "Great Commission": the winning of souls to the Lord. I think that a lot of people would take the stance that such important aspects of Christianity should not be overshadowed by "fringe" aspects. ( Basically, the people you're trying to get to join the Church probably wouldn't make it in the front door if they heard that you're into all that "weirdo sexual stuff" ) Thus, it would probably be argued, saving souls should take precedence over other, divisive, matters.

I think the real issue that most of these people need to recognize, however, is that by this reasoning, they are preparing themselves to ostracize brothers and sisters in the Lord in favor of "trying to look cool to the neighbors"...

 

[RGK]

Just a side note, getting people in the door or winning them to Christ was to never to overshadow descipling (Sheparding) the believers. They were both equally important. In present day churchs counting the people, something David got smacked around for, would be #1 on the list and the test secondary.

 

[RGK]

I would add that one of the aspects of descipling or sheparding is changing the believers diet from the milk to the meat of the word. If this is not actively being done for the sake of numbers. The church is falling way short of its commission and will not be blessed.

 

[RGK]

I would also add that monogamy only for moral reasons brings displeasure from the Lord. Since marriage is to adorn the full doctrine of God, and reflect his essence in the God to man/Christ to bride relationship. Monogamy only is blasphemy and destroys the very essence of the Lord our God.Which is worse,Losing numbers because of truth or displeasing the Lord for teaching lies? (rhetorical question)

Psalm 19 says the Law (actual Hebrew word isTorah) of the Lord is perfect. The Hebrew word for perfect means complete and in total accord with TRUTH.

 

[Shadowjak's Dancer]

yup.

 

[anapaedobaptist]

My family is in favor of plural marriage, and is pursuing it, but I think the Pastor does make a valid point, scripturally. I think we can glean a general principle from this verse,

"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not." (1Cor. 10:23)

That principle being, that even if something is lawful to do, even if something is not sin, that does not mean that we SHOULD do it. It is a very interesting discussion. Obviously all of us here are convinced of plural marriage and lean toward just doing it. But open dialogue and hearing all sides is a good thing. We are called to deny ourselves and take up the cross daily, and many times denying ourselves means denying what we can lawfully have, so that Christ may be glorified.

That is one area that I struggle with, in regards to polygyny. I have to ask myself, "Am I willing to give up my desire for a 2nd wife if God wills it?"

My family holds MANY controversial beliefs, even beliefs that many of you would condemn, but they are not forbidden scripturally and even encouraged in God's word. But unfortunately, the times we are in keeps us from wholly exercising our God blessed rights, openly.



James

 

[DiscussingTheTopic]

Sounds more like the Pastor feels like he is threatened by people who would shun him so he is threatening to shun you in a way that sounds non-threatening by claiming those who practice polygyny are choosing to have fellowship cut off instead of admitting that people are choosing to shun other people who choose to think more rationally or less irrationally in terms of morality and then shockingly live according to their moral beliefs in regard to the thing they are being shunned for

It cuts off fellowship when people get shunned for thinking.

The pastor might indirectly be hinting you are correct but I do not want to be shunned so I will shun you so that I will not be shunned

Somehow this reminds me of Jehovah Witnesses

 

[DiscussingTheTopic]

I think people like this ‘pastor’ need to wake up. Man to woman ratios especially in the church are very unequal. Maybe I should share some of that info next time we talk. His own church is a fine example, the amount of women there are almost double that of the men who attend. Surely no brother is at a disadvantage but the sisters obviously are. So many single women or single mothers whose only opportunity seems to be to lower their standards and date an unbeliever and hope she can convert him.

Any other suggestions or angles to share?

Probably why so many Church going women marry men who label themselves as non-Christians or worse fake Christians who label themselves as Christians they can't find christian men at church if every available man who labels himself as a Christian at Church already married one woman at Church maybe one third of the woman would still be unmarried if two thirds were women and one third were men and the men were limited to one woman each.

 

[DiscussingTheTopic]

Why should the Pastor care if his congregation shuns him for speaking the truth? Some people say Pastors are supposed to speak the truth even if they get shunned that is in the career description. Oh maybe that is it he might lose his career $$$$$$$$$

 

[Courting4Life]

Mat 10:21-22 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against [their] parents, and cause them to be put to death. And ye shall be hated of all [men] for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Luk 6:26 Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.

truth does not create peace and safety.

Preach Steve!

 

[Courting4Life]

His own church is a fine example, the amount of women there are almost double that of the men who attend. Surely no brother is at a disadvantage but the sisters obviously are.

our Creator decided that it was not good for Adam to be alone. what did He do about it?
create a friend?
create a body of believers?
brothers or sisters?

no, He created someone to be one with him. a marriage partner. a helpmeet.
why do we not recognize this today?
would not our Creator look at the single women in our churches and say that it is not good for them to be alone? tradition has excluded them from His provision.
do they not have rights?

Keep Preaching Steve!!

 

[Courting4Life]

Polygyny may cut off fellowship....

I am, for whatever reason, completely undisturbed. Perhaps it's because those that would say such a thing are not the source of my joy. Perhaps those that would say such a thing would also take issue with a beard, tattoos, a line of employment... perhaps my neighborhood. Oh dear, what if my flatware selection isn't to their taste? I wonder... if I did not place the utensils on the appropriate side per proper etiquette, would they be so personally offended due to attributing cultural expectations that they would refuse to pray in agreement with me? Fellowship with me?

I wonder, if they were slighted for all these reasons and struck down beneath a a fallen tree if they would refuse my help.

Well, I'm done wondering. I am rather certain that should they be so easily slighted that their agreement is wavering and therefor of little interest. I am also certain that were they struck by a tree I would help them regardless of the offense they choose to take.

Back to the ole folk songs...
Daisy, Daisy
Give me your answer do
I'm half crazy
All for the love of you
It won't be a stylish marriage
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two... or three... or, well shucks I'm a polygynyst so let's just buy a bus.

 

[FollowingHim]

Having been through the idea of polygyny cutting off fellowship, like Courting4Life, it doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I actually find this a good aspect of polygyny.

As Christians we are members of Christ's body. We have all sorts of different views on the details, and all of us are wrong here and there, we're all growing our entire lives - yet we are in the same body and need to accept our brothers and sisters in love. We are brethren, so should be in fellowship, and through that can learn from each others theological differences.

However many Christians get this completely backwards. They make theological agreement a prerequisite for fellowship - they'll only talk to people who they already agree with. They get in all sorts of knots about this - they'll happily talk to those who agree completely with them, and atheists who disagree completely, but reject Christian brothers who have a few ideas they find shocking... At the end of the day, they don't want to have fellowship with Christ's body, they're a finger and they just want to talk to other fingers.

It's really easy to slip into that trap ourselves if we spend too much time with that sort of Christian. The best thing that can possibly happen is to be kicked out of a group like that. Because that forces you to talk to other parts of the Body instead and actually deepen your fellowship in the long run.

Losing fellowship can be how God is giving you more fellowship. God's kingdom is all backwards to our own logic.

Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

 

[UntoldGlory]

Yeah I feel very blessed with my oldest group of friends. Perhaps it's because my wife and I were instrumental in bringing many of them into a full Christian life, but when we brought up PM with my friends they're pretty much unanimous first reaction was "Ok, pretty darn surprised, but we'll love you guy no matter what." and a bit later made sure we knew that included any incoming wife as well.

You can tell a couple of them aren't huge fans of the idea, but they're not giving us the left foot either. We've also had pretty good responses from the couple of pastors (our current and former) that I've brought PM up with. Now in neither case was it brought up in the "Hey, we think this is for us." way, but still, good responses.

 

[dodidodi]

As Christians we are members of Christ's body. We have all sorts of different views on the details, and all of us are wrong here and there, we're all growing our entire lives - yet we are in the same body and need to accept our brothers and sisters in love. We are brethren, so should be in fellowship, and through that can learn from each others theological differences.

Very true FH, but even so this is hard for some to actually do in reality. But, there is always hope, wouldn't you say?

It's really easy to slip into that trap ourselves if we spend too much time with that sort of Christian. The best thing that can possibly happen is to be kicked out of a group like that. Because that forces you to talk to other parts of the Body instead and actually deepen your fellowship in the long run.

Amen, brother.

Theological differences are best understood through the Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit's guidance it almost impossible for us to understand each other.