Thank you Brother Brian for that well written and thought out article. I have also been enjoying your videos on "You Tube". I would like however, to comment on this portion of your article and share some thoughts as to how it relates to the intial post on this thread.
How beautiful was our first marriage? Then any expansion of a family should be near to the same beauty. Any husband who forces the situation outside of the first marriage criteria is self destructing and leading his family away from the love and peace of God’s Word. His spiritual headship is in total disarray. Let me spell this out clearly. Any husband who moves forward without his wife’s loving support is failing in his love for her AND any other potential wives no matter what “rights’ the Word of God provides him.
Let me add something else. Any husband who is meeting or discussing or even hoping for marriage with another woman without his wife or wives’ full and loving support is a deceiver, betrayer and not only falling short of loving his wives like Christ loved the church but has no idea what that means.
While I agree completely that the husbands leadership and Christ-like behavior is essential to the expansion of a family through the addition of another blessed lady, there is more. You referenced it later in the article, but I must add that a husband's best leadership does not guarantee a wife's compatability with God's leadership. In my early years as a pastor, I made the mistake of reversing the order in which God dealt with family members. I would preach about the husbands responsibility first, because that is where I saw the greatest need. Unfortunately, I was wrong (don't quote me on that, I will deny it :lol: ) God always dealt with the wife first, almost as if to say, the husband is the head, but the wife is the neck on which he rests and she makes it possible for him to turn.
Here is how this relates to the original post. The age old problem, from the Garden of Eden til now, is the matter of control. In the original post (thank you Donnag) there are a lot of questions and fears revealed about the emotional response of both the first wife and the second wife. The following scripture speaks to the heart of the matter.
1 Cor 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
We often miss the implication of this verse by the lack of understanding of the two different Greek words used for "his own" and "her own". Without getting into language issues, suffice it to say that "his own" speaks to headship and responsibility of the husband, his own wife that is under his leadership and protection (possessively), in which he may exercise the same for more than one wife simultaneously. "Her own", however relates to the one to whom she belongs or connects with exclusively. She is his and no one else's, ever, and she is proud of that.
When we draw the parallel of Christ and His people with that of a husband with his wife/wives we see the issue clearly solved. The Lord loves us with a great, all encompassing, divine love and our response is to love Him in return with all our heart, mind, soul and might. Complete surrender to His divine will is our only appropriate option. Trusting Him in all things is
faith in operation. We have no right to tell Him or expect Him to alter His will to accomodate ours. Our joy is, entirely, based in full surrender to our Lord.
In this example we find that the husband is commanded of God to love his wife in the same way Christ loved the church. Christ never bent His will to the will of His church, but did do that which was essential for and in the best interest of her. The wife's response to God's positioning her in the family, is to behave toward her husband in the same way that the churches of Christ are to behave toward Him. Therefore, she has no control over the actions of her spousal lord and that is the source of most if not all the problems wives have in PM. There have been a lot of related posts recently.
Do we trust Christ, ladies? Then trust Him leading your husband, it is not your responsibility to possess your husband and decide what he should or should not do. Rather, it is your blessing to be fully
possessed by him and trust fully with complete surrender to his loving husbandmanship. This puts a tremendous responsibility upon husbands and it is by God's design. Husbands need the prayerful support of their wives for this great responsibility. He must look to God for leadership, not to his wife/wives for permission, ever! This behavior on the part of wives, will make us men, better men and husbands and I admit we need the help. I think "Cats_Curiosity" said it earlier that men desire respect above love or other things, from the women in their lives. This is spot on target! Respect equates to trust and when you put that idea in the relationship of Christ and His churches it means FAITH. The one commodity of ours that is necessary for us to please God, Hebrews 11:6.
Bottom line, husbands have the awsome responsibility before God and their family to lead and make godly decisions; wives have the tremendous opportunity to enable their husbands, to be the men God desires them to be. Wives will enjoy them being such for the benefit of the spousal and familial relationship. Let us all enjoy the blessing of God and His design for our families and not blur the function of His operation by trying to swap roles in the family.
It is beautiful and displays his capacity to love and lead! A very good example of Christ's love... 