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Real People's Stories are
- Thread starter Rose
- Start date
My wonderful man introduced this lifestyle to me. God transformed my thinking about it.
Through him (Blessedwith2) I've learned of a whole lot of verses. My favorite one is 2 Chronicles 24:1-3.
My inspiration has come from Blessedwith2, God's word, a Bible study and book that Blessedwith2 wrote. Furthermore I've read some books. Right now I'm reading 'Love Times 3'.
Through him (Blessedwith2) I've learned of a whole lot of verses. My favorite one is 2 Chronicles 24:1-3.
My inspiration has come from Blessedwith2, God's word, a Bible study and book that Blessedwith2 wrote. Furthermore I've read some books. Right now I'm reading 'Love Times 3'.
1. What first interested me.
The Bible. It's that simple. As a reader of the Bible, I just became naturally curious about this lifestyle, when I saw it portrayed over and over in God's Word. As I studied it more, I realized what I had been taught about marriage was wrong. I then become more interested in it for me personally.
2. What inspires me to remain interested.
The hope that there may a good woman who can become a part of our family. I also love 2 Chronicles 24:2-3, Genesis 20:6, Genesis 30:18, and 2 Sameul 12:8. Now we're just waiting on God's timing, whether it happens or not.
The Bible. It's that simple. As a reader of the Bible, I just became naturally curious about this lifestyle, when I saw it portrayed over and over in God's Word. As I studied it more, I realized what I had been taught about marriage was wrong. I then become more interested in it for me personally.
2. What inspires me to remain interested.
The hope that there may a good woman who can become a part of our family. I also love 2 Chronicles 24:2-3, Genesis 20:6, Genesis 30:18, and 2 Sameul 12:8. Now we're just waiting on God's timing, whether it happens or not.
I was asked by a woman about the negative comments in a study Bible she was reading which decried Lamech for having taken two wives (cf. Gen. 4:19). She asked for the biblical justification for the comments, so I began researching polygyny in the Bible. Having discovered the truth both her and I wanted her to become another of my wives.
My two wives motivate me to remain interested.
My husband began questioning his upbringing and everything he'd been taught. Monogamy came up on the chopping block, I guess.
He did all the studying, and then spent a lot of time disseminating that information to me, spiritually feeding me, opening my mind to the truth.Ultimately, the earthly marriage as a reflection of Christ and the Church, I think is what keeps me "interested" (though I'll admit I'm a little unsure what that phrasing means?). I just love the picture God gave us that reflects such incomprehensible beautiful heavenly truth - He gave us a tiny image of that in the man and woman relationship, and it's my favorite biblical imagery. I just think... even unbelievers recognize beauty in a man loving a woman and a woman serving a man (even if they want to pretend to see beauty in other, perverted things). We've all seen it in an elderly couple holding hands or the excitement practically sizzling off a young couple. It's beautiful, but not for its own sake I think it's beautiful because of what it reflects.
TLDR: I've always wanted a large family.
This prompt led me to examining my exact reasonings, which has led to a horrifically long story that I highly suggest you not read. I ended up typing this out more for myself and my wife than anyone here. I have decided to post the long story anyways in case anyone is interested with the hope that the story will prove useful in some way (or at the very least an entertaining read).
1.
I grew up in the tail end of a once large family. I am the youngest and was born when my parents were in their late 40s. My two paternal aunts (I actually have no blood-related uncles as my father had only the two sisters) also had large families that were very closely tied to my paternal grandfather. He and his wife both came from very large families. One of them had eight siblings and the other had over ten, I don't remember the exact details. They were both the eldest sibling, and mostly held leadership roles amongst their siblings My grandmother half raised most of her siblings in Fresno and my grandfather moved his entire family from Oklahoma to California. They met, got married, and put the entire family into ministry. Their major legacy was building a radio station, church, and private school (which is a story I'll leave for another day).
Sometime in the decade leading up to my birth and then in my childhood the following events occurred:
My basic needs were cared for by my older sisters until they were all out of the house, and around the age of 7 I was doing most of the cooking for my brother and I (my mother stopped cooking for the family due to stress). My brother and I were the last ones left at home, although my eldest sister eventually returned to the church with her new husband, and they began to help out. When my grandfather died, my brother was 20, and decided to seek out his biological father, shortly thereafter joining the marines.
I had been enrolled in the private school until I was in 5th grade, where I ended up leaving to do homeschooling after an incident where I basically called a teacher incompetent towards the beginning of the year. I was taken out for the rest of the year and was given homeschool material to try and educate myself at home. At the end of the year some parents had complained about the teacher, and she ended up leaving. I was reenrolled afterwards, but rarely attended and continued using the materials I had to teach myself (coming in to test and receive new materials at times).
At 13 I got a job at a local Christian talk radio station and basically began to think of myself as an adult. I hated the constraints put upon me by my age and began trying to date as soon as I got my first paycheck. My first girlfriend was two years older than me and basically ran me, until she eventually had sex with an older guy she knew (to which I responded I would forgive her, and we could move forward, and she responded with dumping me). I was very depressed after this, and honestly had pinned far too many hopes on the girl. I realized shortly after this that I had some serious issues when I began to contemplate suicide. It was idle thoughts at first, but the first time an actual plan on how to kill myself came through my mind I seemed to snap out of it.
It was around this time, I want to say 15, that I realized I was entirely too weak to consider myself a man. I also realized at this point that I had never really had a deep relationship with God. I had always studied the Bible, and memorized verses primarily to try and earn some praise from my father, but I had always felt that the religion I was raised in was a little stupid.
I believed there was a God, but I didn't buy what I had been told. Our church was very simple, pray the sinner's prayer and you're basically in as long as you don't kill anyone afterwards (but if you do just pray it again). Want a deeper relationship with God? Have more faith! How do you get more faith? Just believe harder! Want to be righteous? You're not so don't even try. If you try, you're basically a judaizer and a pharisee. I began to try and pray more and paid more attention in Church and other events, but I didn't feel growth for quite some time.
To try and become a man I began to follow my brother's footsteps. I was too young to join the military, but I began attending a public school's NJROTC Unit in my junior year of high school. I excelled in the unit (mostly because I gave up any semblance of a social life to rank up as fast as possible). The Warrant Officer in charge of the program promoted me to the cadet officer group the next summer, and I took over the operations position shortly after (which for a high school mock military group consisted of mostly event planning and attending student gov and school board meetings). It wasn't much but I was happy with it, and it gave me a sense of purpose. Over the summer I attended a number of programs, including the Naval Academy's Summer Seminar Program (which is basically a 5-day mini-bootcamp).
I ended up applying for the Naval Academy, but I failed to obtain a congressional nomination (another story, but my interview did not go well). I was going to attend a MCROTC unit at a college I was going to, but the summer before I was supposed to leave my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My family asked me to stay behind and take online courses so I could keep an eye on her (the doctor insisted she shouldn't be left alone). I said I would stay for six months, but then I was going to leave. That extended a bit, and during that time I discovered that I was hardly interested in college courses. I found most of the ones I took to be a waste of time, and the few Bible courses I found were nothing special at best and false indoctrination at worst. I chose instead to enlist in the Marine Corps and was part of a Poole program at our local recruitment station, training with them every day. Went to MEPS, took the ASVAB, and got my ship date. A week before I was supposed to ship out is when my Father pulled me aside after church.
He basically told me that he needed help at the church, and he had no one else to take over as pastor. He asked me to go get my minister's license and stay to help out at the church and work at the school, or that I could enlist but that he wouldn't be there to see me off or welcome me to visit when I got out.
I chose to stay and decided that if I was going to become a minister that I was going to dive in fully to learning everything I could about the scriptures (still trying). I went and got my ministers license and met my friend who introduced me to Torah through a weekly Bible study we started doing together. We were in similar situations (sons to senior pastors who wanted us to take over) and agreed on many of the issues within our church organization.
Through studying scripture and reading about the great families forged by the faithful, the desire I had in my childhood to be apart of that large family was reignited. I wanted to create that, and I wanted to lead it better than my grandfather did, to learn from the mistakes he made, and to prepare it for the next generation to continue the mission. Studying leadership in scripture led to patriarchy which caused major issues with my family, as they are closeted egalitarians who call themselves complementarians (who are mostly all closeted egalitarians). My mother even goes by Co-Pastor sometimes. It still causes issues today. Patriarchy, and the study of the Word, led me to becoming a better man than any job or physical training could (although I still greatly appreciate what I did learn from the military members I trained with my last two years of high school, and the six months of my participation in the poole program).
This all eventually led to polygyny, which at this point seemed like the logical next step. I wanted a large family, adding an extra wife makes the family bigger in multiple ways (extra wife AND extra children). Polygyny is important to me because I have lacked people for me to care for all my life, I want to have people to care for. I want to have a tribe to protect, lead, and teach. I want my legacy to be people who go one to be better and do better than I did, not just my name on a plaque at a school and fond memories. Patriarchy is important to me because I want to do all of this well.
2.
My wants from the previous paragraph remain, but participation on this forum has also led me to the belief that there are certain things that the church refuses to accept that hold the majority of us back. Not just holding us back from more wives or more kids but hold us back spiritually from God and from truly living righteously. Torah was important to me for these reasons as well, I felt that the faith I was raised with was incomplete without the "ways of righteousness" for the Shepherd to lead me in through His Word. I feel that patriarchy (and polygyny) are not only aspects of our religion, but core components of the righteous way (not that everyone needs to be polygynous, but that acceptance of patriarchy and polygyny is of vital importance).
I would add, what could possibly hold me back if I let it.
I know enough of myself now to know that I fear rejection, and the rejection of my wife or my family would be devastating to me, especially the rejection of my father. I am still in ministry at the church, which has grown now to around 20 families, and am open about my views to anyone who asks. But the ramifications of me actually taking a second wife as opposed to talking about it I am sure would be severe. I know though that the rejection I fear most is not my earthly father, but my Father in heaven. I pray that I will continue to proclaim boldly the truth of His Word, as many here do.
This prompt led me to examining my exact reasonings, which has led to a horrifically long story that I highly suggest you not read. I ended up typing this out more for myself and my wife than anyone here. I have decided to post the long story anyways in case anyone is interested with the hope that the story will prove useful in some way (or at the very least an entertaining read).
1.
I grew up in the tail end of a once large family. I am the youngest and was born when my parents were in their late 40s. My two paternal aunts (I actually have no blood-related uncles as my father had only the two sisters) also had large families that were very closely tied to my paternal grandfather. He and his wife both came from very large families. One of them had eight siblings and the other had over ten, I don't remember the exact details. They were both the eldest sibling, and mostly held leadership roles amongst their siblings My grandmother half raised most of her siblings in Fresno and my grandfather moved his entire family from Oklahoma to California. They met, got married, and put the entire family into ministry. Their major legacy was building a radio station, church, and private school (which is a story I'll leave for another day).
Sometime in the decade leading up to my birth and then in my childhood the following events occurred:
- The majority of my grandparents' siblings died. This led to almost all of their families moving away and separating from my grandfather's leadership.
- My great-uncle Forrest, who was my grandmother's youngest brother (of an age with my father) and one of the leaders in the church, left the church. My grandfather did not tell the church, nor the other church leaders, why. Forrest had asked that no one be told the real reason for the departure, and because of that my grandfather always refused to answer, leading the church to believing my grandfather had run him out. In truth My great-uncle had discovered his wife in adultery, the adulterer being none other than my eldest aunt's husband.
- My eldest aunt left the church shortly after the preceding event after a much more public divorce, although the reasons behind the divorce were still kept vague, causing the church to once again assume the worst and begin to question my grandfather's leadership.
- My father divorced his wife shortly after because of adultery, the molestation of his daughter, and fraud. His marriage was legally annulled before he was willing to remarry. Years later he remarried a woman who came to the church with many children of her own from a previous relationship. I am the only child they had together.
- In the recession of the early 2000s the church and school were facing financial difficulties. The income keeping the school afloat was from K-Love Radio (another story cut short: my grandfather helped create K-Love Radio). Because of this, the church leadership tried to budget things out, and insisted that any major expenditures needed to come through the board.
- My other aunt's husband, who was one of the ministers at the time, went over the board's head to make some large purchases for the church. The board was very upset, and my grandfather took responsibility. This was the last straw for the church's leadership, and instead of taking control away from my grandfather they all just decided to leave.
- My aunt and her family became very defensive about this, which led to strife between her family and my own. Eventually they left the church and got divorced a few years later.
- Continuing forward, the church is run into the ground by grandparents, and then the two pastors after them (one last two years, the other only one). Right after the last lead pastor leaves (another story, but he basically gave no warning and just announced one Sunday that he wouldn't be back the next week) my grandfather dies. All of his properties were left in trust to his children, with an option on dividing the properties a certain way amongst themselves. The way they were to be divided was marked down in his will. My father got the biggest properties (although also the least commercially viable) which led to resentment amongst my aunts (even though their inheritances were still significant and far more commercially viable than my father's).
- After the last lead pastor left there was no one left to continue on the ministry, so my father (rather unwillingly) agreed to become lead pastor. At this point the church had gone from over 50 families to about 5 (including my own). I was about 13 at this time.
My basic needs were cared for by my older sisters until they were all out of the house, and around the age of 7 I was doing most of the cooking for my brother and I (my mother stopped cooking for the family due to stress). My brother and I were the last ones left at home, although my eldest sister eventually returned to the church with her new husband, and they began to help out. When my grandfather died, my brother was 20, and decided to seek out his biological father, shortly thereafter joining the marines.
I had been enrolled in the private school until I was in 5th grade, where I ended up leaving to do homeschooling after an incident where I basically called a teacher incompetent towards the beginning of the year. I was taken out for the rest of the year and was given homeschool material to try and educate myself at home. At the end of the year some parents had complained about the teacher, and she ended up leaving. I was reenrolled afterwards, but rarely attended and continued using the materials I had to teach myself (coming in to test and receive new materials at times).
At 13 I got a job at a local Christian talk radio station and basically began to think of myself as an adult. I hated the constraints put upon me by my age and began trying to date as soon as I got my first paycheck. My first girlfriend was two years older than me and basically ran me, until she eventually had sex with an older guy she knew (to which I responded I would forgive her, and we could move forward, and she responded with dumping me). I was very depressed after this, and honestly had pinned far too many hopes on the girl. I realized shortly after this that I had some serious issues when I began to contemplate suicide. It was idle thoughts at first, but the first time an actual plan on how to kill myself came through my mind I seemed to snap out of it.
It was around this time, I want to say 15, that I realized I was entirely too weak to consider myself a man. I also realized at this point that I had never really had a deep relationship with God. I had always studied the Bible, and memorized verses primarily to try and earn some praise from my father, but I had always felt that the religion I was raised in was a little stupid.
I believed there was a God, but I didn't buy what I had been told. Our church was very simple, pray the sinner's prayer and you're basically in as long as you don't kill anyone afterwards (but if you do just pray it again). Want a deeper relationship with God? Have more faith! How do you get more faith? Just believe harder! Want to be righteous? You're not so don't even try. If you try, you're basically a judaizer and a pharisee. I began to try and pray more and paid more attention in Church and other events, but I didn't feel growth for quite some time.
To try and become a man I began to follow my brother's footsteps. I was too young to join the military, but I began attending a public school's NJROTC Unit in my junior year of high school. I excelled in the unit (mostly because I gave up any semblance of a social life to rank up as fast as possible). The Warrant Officer in charge of the program promoted me to the cadet officer group the next summer, and I took over the operations position shortly after (which for a high school mock military group consisted of mostly event planning and attending student gov and school board meetings). It wasn't much but I was happy with it, and it gave me a sense of purpose. Over the summer I attended a number of programs, including the Naval Academy's Summer Seminar Program (which is basically a 5-day mini-bootcamp).
I ended up applying for the Naval Academy, but I failed to obtain a congressional nomination (another story, but my interview did not go well). I was going to attend a MCROTC unit at a college I was going to, but the summer before I was supposed to leave my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My family asked me to stay behind and take online courses so I could keep an eye on her (the doctor insisted she shouldn't be left alone). I said I would stay for six months, but then I was going to leave. That extended a bit, and during that time I discovered that I was hardly interested in college courses. I found most of the ones I took to be a waste of time, and the few Bible courses I found were nothing special at best and false indoctrination at worst. I chose instead to enlist in the Marine Corps and was part of a Poole program at our local recruitment station, training with them every day. Went to MEPS, took the ASVAB, and got my ship date. A week before I was supposed to ship out is when my Father pulled me aside after church.
He basically told me that he needed help at the church, and he had no one else to take over as pastor. He asked me to go get my minister's license and stay to help out at the church and work at the school, or that I could enlist but that he wouldn't be there to see me off or welcome me to visit when I got out.
I chose to stay and decided that if I was going to become a minister that I was going to dive in fully to learning everything I could about the scriptures (still trying). I went and got my ministers license and met my friend who introduced me to Torah through a weekly Bible study we started doing together. We were in similar situations (sons to senior pastors who wanted us to take over) and agreed on many of the issues within our church organization.
Through studying scripture and reading about the great families forged by the faithful, the desire I had in my childhood to be apart of that large family was reignited. I wanted to create that, and I wanted to lead it better than my grandfather did, to learn from the mistakes he made, and to prepare it for the next generation to continue the mission. Studying leadership in scripture led to patriarchy which caused major issues with my family, as they are closeted egalitarians who call themselves complementarians (who are mostly all closeted egalitarians). My mother even goes by Co-Pastor sometimes. It still causes issues today. Patriarchy, and the study of the Word, led me to becoming a better man than any job or physical training could (although I still greatly appreciate what I did learn from the military members I trained with my last two years of high school, and the six months of my participation in the poole program).
This all eventually led to polygyny, which at this point seemed like the logical next step. I wanted a large family, adding an extra wife makes the family bigger in multiple ways (extra wife AND extra children). Polygyny is important to me because I have lacked people for me to care for all my life, I want to have people to care for. I want to have a tribe to protect, lead, and teach. I want my legacy to be people who go one to be better and do better than I did, not just my name on a plaque at a school and fond memories. Patriarchy is important to me because I want to do all of this well.
2.
My wants from the previous paragraph remain, but participation on this forum has also led me to the belief that there are certain things that the church refuses to accept that hold the majority of us back. Not just holding us back from more wives or more kids but hold us back spiritually from God and from truly living righteously. Torah was important to me for these reasons as well, I felt that the faith I was raised with was incomplete without the "ways of righteousness" for the Shepherd to lead me in through His Word. I feel that patriarchy (and polygyny) are not only aspects of our religion, but core components of the righteous way (not that everyone needs to be polygynous, but that acceptance of patriarchy and polygyny is of vital importance).
I would add, what could possibly hold me back if I let it.
I know enough of myself now to know that I fear rejection, and the rejection of my wife or my family would be devastating to me, especially the rejection of my father. I am still in ministry at the church, which has grown now to around 20 families, and am open about my views to anyone who asks. But the ramifications of me actually taking a second wife as opposed to talking about it I am sure would be severe. I know though that the rejection I fear most is not my earthly father, but my Father in heaven. I pray that I will continue to proclaim boldly the truth of His Word, as many here do.
When a friend pointed out that Isaiah 4:1 would be happening in the last days, I realized that Yah couldn’t be be that changeable.
I had always accepted that He had dispensed with polygyny in the NT, but to reinstate it because of the lack of men in the end times was just too much for me. It didn’t take much consideration for me to realize that He had never changed His opinion of it, that was simply the teachings of men.
What inspires me to stay interested in it? Truth is truth, ignoring His truth is a small form of denying Him.
I had always accepted that He had dispensed with polygyny in the NT, but to reinstate it because of the lack of men in the end times was just too much for me. It didn’t take much consideration for me to realize that He had never changed His opinion of it, that was simply the teachings of men.
What inspires me to stay interested in it? Truth is truth, ignoring His truth is a small form of denying Him.
I came across a deeply deceitful and sin soaked website that told me I could legitimately fulfill some desires I had that I assumed were wicked.
I knew the website was essentially pornography (although not visual) but it spurred me into some research and what do you know; my desires were sinful. But the thing I desired was not, only my idolization of it and how I was willing to achieve it.
I knew the website was essentially pornography (although not visual) but it spurred me into some research and what do you know; my desires were sinful. But the thing I desired was not, only my idolization of it and how I was willing to achieve it.
Unbeliveable.
How can you be pro-polygyny and don't like ...... women?
If all you want is sexual release, children or some companionship one wife is more than enough. More requires gratitude and enjoyment of being surronded with Lord's most beautiful and gracious creatures.
Man's happiness when he is with wives is same as Lord's happiness in us.
How can you be pro-polygyny and don't like ...... women?
If all you want is sexual release, children or some companionship one wife is more than enough. More requires gratitude and enjoyment of being surronded with Lord's most beautiful and gracious creatures.
Man's happiness when he is with wives is same as Lord's happiness in us.
Who are you responding to?
General "feel" of thread.
This was a great story. Thanks for sharing.
My parents were a raging mess and my home life was a horror show. In the middle of some of my darkest moments the government raided the FLDS ranch in Waco Texas. This was all over the media who were making these people look like aliens from another planet. What I first saw were clean, cleanly dressed people living in nice homes and there were no stories of drug abuse or alcohol abuse.
I studied them and decided that Warren Jeffs was a creep (now I'd call him a false prophet) and the FLDS is a cult.
But I liked the idea of poly with a bunch of women living together as wives and raising their kids as a family. It seemed like a fairy tale to me at the time.
I met God and got to know Jesus, I love my husband, I love my family, and I love this way of life. The Bible might validate my views but my life is the reason for my views.
1) I'll quote my pinned quote on X: "Polygyny outlawed in the New Testament? Ask your pastor for chapter & verse. I finished my first full read of the Bible in 1959; noticing many important biblical figures had multiple wives, I asked my Sunday School teacher why this no longer happens. "Jesus stopped it," she said." I got sent to the 'principal's office' (destined to be my home away from home at both school and church), where the pastor's only answer was it was ended in the New Testament, but he didn't know where. Where in Bible: Exodus 21:10 and every mention of a man having more than one wife.
2) Had identical-twin girlfriends in 3rd grade. One was official; the other unofficial. They liked to pretend they were each other to fool me while holding hands with me. I liked to pretend I had no idea what they were doing.
A man can dream!
I must have missed something. I didn't sense that anyone disliked women, certainly not me.
professionalrespect97@gma
Member
I have always believed
Wow. Were you raised in a polygyny family?
professionalrespect97@gma
Member
I was raised to challenge everything culture says about relationships and having my father debate on many different subjects at a very young age I came to see the false and incomplete views culture trys to force on relationships. I believe a hundred percent multiple wives is right only if God leads you to that and it is in God's timing and will