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Rethinking PM
- Thread starter Doc
- Start date
I only regret so few single women know of it. :lol:
NO!!!
Though the cost HAVE been many, they are far outweighed by the benefits of a closer walk with God as I have studied His Word, learned to understand how He interacts with and leads us, watched it occurring in my life and others, met new friends, and had adventures galore.
Would I do it again? Yup, though hopefully with more wisdom.
Though the cost HAVE been many, they are far outweighed by the benefits of a closer walk with God as I have studied His Word, learned to understand how He interacts with and leads us, watched it occurring in my life and others, met new friends, and had adventures galore.
Would I do it again? Yup, though hopefully with more wisdom.
Good question.
Yes and no.
Yes because the genie is out of the bottle and cannot be returned.
Yes because life was much simpler before.
Yes because at times I could not be bothered being a heretic.
No because it is the truth.
No because it has greatly enhanced my understanding of marriage and male-female relations.
Oops I need a third No to appear balanced
No because my wife is reading over my shoulder so I must appear resolute
ylop
Yes and no.
Yes because the genie is out of the bottle and cannot be returned.
Yes because life was much simpler before.
Yes because at times I could not be bothered being a heretic.
No because it is the truth.
No because it has greatly enhanced my understanding of marriage and male-female relations.
Oops I need a third No to appear balanced
No because my wife is reading over my shoulder so I must appear resolute
ylop
ylopsonlywife
New Member
yes
ylop said:
Ditto to all of that-- well except for the "wife reading over my shoulder" part. :lol:
I have another "no" though: because I am learning how to share in ways I never could before. Because I am watching my biological children grow and expand their love in a way I was not sure they could. No because I have a renewed sense of purpose in my life, a sense of being needed and appreciated, and the ability to have a positive impact on those in need.
Wow, I guess the "no's" outweigh the yesses here. Maybe we did do the right thing afterall. Thanks for the "check-up," Doc-- I needed that.
I just asked Mr. Froggie, and he was confusedly silent for a moment until he realized I was waiting for an actual response. Then he shook his head and said, "There's nothing to regret," in a tone that tells me he thought the question ridiculous. :lol:
Poly wives argue – mono wives do not ... :-D
Some years ago, I witnessed two separate examples which I found disappointing. Both occurred long before God opened my understanding of the blessings found in Biblical plural families.
Each incident occurred at different times in different small Presbyterian denominations. Many people in each of these denominations believe that they are in the ‘only true church’, although, when pressed, they denied REALLY believing that; they just did not fellowship with Christians outside their own denominations because ... (make up any pious sounding reason and insert here – do I sound tired and jaded?).
Each event occurred just before a communal lunch (one after Sunday mornig worship and one after a church camp morning Bible study). Each event occurred between two monogamous wives (each of whom was alpha male type). Both arguments were concerning the sequencing of the serving of food and the layout of the buffet table. In the two cases, the monogamous wives were roaring at each other, verballing going at it with tooth and nail. It was quite embarrassing.
I felt sorry for their husbands, having to live with such monsters at home. But they were ‘good’ Christian, monogamous wives. We ALL KNOW that plural wives in the Bible (occasionally) had arguments; however, monogamy is what God demands (oops, sarcasm slipping through again).
It is enlightening to see the blessing given to Boaz and Ruth, by the village elders, includes the blessing to be like Israel’s progenitor sister wives.
There are none so blind as those who will not see.
Some years ago, I witnessed two separate examples which I found disappointing. Both occurred long before God opened my understanding of the blessings found in Biblical plural families.
Each incident occurred at different times in different small Presbyterian denominations. Many people in each of these denominations believe that they are in the ‘only true church’, although, when pressed, they denied REALLY believing that; they just did not fellowship with Christians outside their own denominations because ... (make up any pious sounding reason and insert here – do I sound tired and jaded?).
Each event occurred just before a communal lunch (one after Sunday mornig worship and one after a church camp morning Bible study). Each event occurred between two monogamous wives (each of whom was alpha male type). Both arguments were concerning the sequencing of the serving of food and the layout of the buffet table. In the two cases, the monogamous wives were roaring at each other, verballing going at it with tooth and nail. It was quite embarrassing.
I felt sorry for their husbands, having to live with such monsters at home. But they were ‘good’ Christian, monogamous wives. We ALL KNOW that plural wives in the Bible (occasionally) had arguments; however, monogamy is what God demands (oops, sarcasm slipping through again).
It is enlightening to see the blessing given to Boaz and Ruth, by the village elders, includes the blessing to be like Israel’s progenitor sister wives.
There are none so blind as those who will not see.
Sometimes I feel like Will Smith in Men In Black, where he is sitting on the park bench and has to make a decision on if he wants to go back home or be a man in black. He knows that aliens are real and he is watching all the people walking past just happily living their lives and they don't know the truth, they have no idea about this huge thing that is around them.
When I first became a Christian I was so on fire. I was wondering why it had taken me so long to realise the truth (satan had a pretty strong hold on me, but God is stronger!), why had I not seen it all before, or understood it all before. How were people choosing not to be Christian when they knew that Jesus died for us?! At that time I was surrounded by many Christians who understood and had felt the same at some stage.
When FollowingHim and I got married we went on the pill, because that's what you do, can't have kids you know, not good timing etc. It didn't agree with me and I was only on it for a month. So we decided to find out why it was messing with my body so much and through this we discovered exactly how hormonal contraceptives worked. I was left wondering, how do Christians not know this? Why does no one tell them? Why did no one tell us? It was this huge revelation for us that eventually leaded to us trusting God with our family.
And now we know about PM. Once again, why did no one tell us? Why don't Christians know this stuff? Sometimes I feel like we must be the only ones in NZ who know the truth, I hope we are not. We are definitely standing out there, different from all others.
I am so sad that so many people do not know or understand the truth. Do I regret it, wish I didn't know? NEVER! God has revealed to us what He wants from us and where he wants our lives to go. To wish I didn't know is to wish God had not spoken to me. I will never stop following what God wants from us, ever, even if there are more revelations in the future and we end up complete outcasts from society :lol: .
When I first became a Christian I was so on fire. I was wondering why it had taken me so long to realise the truth (satan had a pretty strong hold on me, but God is stronger!), why had I not seen it all before, or understood it all before. How were people choosing not to be Christian when they knew that Jesus died for us?! At that time I was surrounded by many Christians who understood and had felt the same at some stage.
When FollowingHim and I got married we went on the pill, because that's what you do, can't have kids you know, not good timing etc. It didn't agree with me and I was only on it for a month. So we decided to find out why it was messing with my body so much and through this we discovered exactly how hormonal contraceptives worked. I was left wondering, how do Christians not know this? Why does no one tell them? Why did no one tell us? It was this huge revelation for us that eventually leaded to us trusting God with our family.
And now we know about PM. Once again, why did no one tell us? Why don't Christians know this stuff? Sometimes I feel like we must be the only ones in NZ who know the truth, I hope we are not. We are definitely standing out there, different from all others.
I am so sad that so many people do not know or understand the truth. Do I regret it, wish I didn't know? NEVER! God has revealed to us what He wants from us and where he wants our lives to go. To wish I didn't know is to wish God had not spoken to me. I will never stop following what God wants from us, ever, even if there are more revelations in the future and we end up complete outcasts from society :lol: .
ylop said:
This is fun.
No because I would always choose truth and God's wisdom instead of my own. I would rather know truth than to "perish from a lack of knowledge."
No because I would rather die and suffer for Him than to live simple peace in ignorance. Ignorance is bliss and is unGodly. We are to seek truth, buy knowledge and understanding, and to ask and seek wisdom.
Heretic? I am not the heretic, it is the other side that is heretical. God and I agree, He does not change, pervert justice or consider the wisdom of men, His law changes not, and not one jot or tittle has passed. The other side believes and preaches the opposite.
I would not trade this for anything. Every fight, every stressful minute between myself and my wife, all that bad stuff is all worth it. I am a new man, a strong man. Not by the world's standards, but I don't care about that anyway. God is my standard. And seeing the change in my wife, the struggles she has encountered because of this, the spiritual refining fire....very humbling for me. I am moved to be Godly for her, to handle this honorably if it ever does come to this family.
Kill me but don't take this knowledge from me, the entire Bible is opening up to me now, the people that are my friends now...who would give that up? I had a plural family living in my own town for 3 years and didn't know it! And they are pretty awesome.
No regrets, and when I did have them it was because God needed to work on me.
Wow, great question.
I agree with ylop and some others..
I'll also add a Yes because it's caused much grief between my wife and I
and a Yes because my pastor told me that if I moved forward it would be adultery and they would ask me to leave. I've decided to leave now even though it will likely be years before we move forward, since I'm working to apply the love not force principle.
I agree with the others who essentially wrote that No I'd prefer to know the truth than believe a lie no matter how inconvenient it may be.
I agree with ylop and some others..
I'll also add a Yes because it's caused much grief between my wife and I
and a Yes because my pastor told me that if I moved forward it would be adultery and they would ask me to leave. I've decided to leave now even though it will likely be years before we move forward, since I'm working to apply the love not force principle.
I agree with the others who essentially wrote that No I'd prefer to know the truth than believe a lie no matter how inconvenient it may be.
After evaluation I now see the truth of PM. I must admit, in some respect's it's a challenging doctrine to come into the knowledge of.
Caring, protecting and providing for a woman in a Godly marriage is a big responsibility, however when you start adding other women to your flock, it add's great responsibility to your life and create's more accountability before God.
I am not involved in PM and am not 100% sure if it is my calling, but should God call me into PM I would definitely ask for prayer support and ask the Lord to help me fulfill the calling.
Caring, protecting and providing for a woman in a Godly marriage is a big responsibility, however when you start adding other women to your flock, it add's great responsibility to your life and create's more accountability before God.
I am not involved in PM and am not 100% sure if it is my calling, but should God call me into PM I would definitely ask for prayer support and ask the Lord to help me fulfill the calling.
Ok, serious response (although I am completely serious about my first one also!).
I agree completely with the sentiments expressed by FollowingHim2. This is the truth. What is there to regret about the truth?
Like all scriptural truths, once you have learnt them they help the Bible make even more sense than it did before. PM allows us to understand Christ's relationship with the church better, cements the importance and benefit of patriachal leadership, makes all the scriptures around divorce and adultery etc make a whole lot more sense, helps to explain the position of men and women in the church... How can you understand scripture properly without accepting PM?
We have not yet begun to live it, and have no idea when or if God will make this happen, so we have not yet had to suffer the ostracization that will inevitably accompany it. So we speak from an easy place at the moment. But we are used to being seen as odd by the world. Personally I like to shock people into digging deeper into scripture, and actually look forward to seeing how people will react! I am also fascinated to find out how things will go at church. I have already preached on this topic (taking a less firm stance than I would today) and everybody is still speaking to me, but I am very interested to find out which people would continue to associate with us if I take a second wife. I do however have close family relationships that would be strained by this life, but we are to be willing to give up even family to follow Christ, so that may be a sacrifice that needs to be made sadly if it comes to it.
I agree completely with the sentiments expressed by FollowingHim2. This is the truth. What is there to regret about the truth?
Like all scriptural truths, once you have learnt them they help the Bible make even more sense than it did before. PM allows us to understand Christ's relationship with the church better, cements the importance and benefit of patriachal leadership, makes all the scriptures around divorce and adultery etc make a whole lot more sense, helps to explain the position of men and women in the church... How can you understand scripture properly without accepting PM?
We have not yet begun to live it, and have no idea when or if God will make this happen, so we have not yet had to suffer the ostracization that will inevitably accompany it. So we speak from an easy place at the moment. But we are used to being seen as odd by the world. Personally I like to shock people into digging deeper into scripture, and actually look forward to seeing how people will react! I am also fascinated to find out how things will go at church. I have already preached on this topic (taking a less firm stance than I would today) and everybody is still speaking to me, but I am very interested to find out which people would continue to associate with us if I take a second wife. I do however have close family relationships that would be strained by this life, but we are to be willing to give up even family to follow Christ, so that may be a sacrifice that needs to be made sadly if it comes to it.
I believe most people would be real surprised if they knew just how many PM families there really is today. Most of them keep it secret for one reason or another. Probably because they just want to live peaceably with the rest of the world. I, personally do not care what the people of the world, who are for the most part ignorant of anything the Creator has said, might think.
If You look around You, it's obvious that the very people who would put down PM, most likely, have, or have had, at least one boyfriend or girlfriend on the side while telling everybody how perfect they are in their marriage.I learned this lesson a long time ago. I made many mistakes, concerning multiple wives. I have not always known what the Scriptures had to say, and I paid the price for that.
I can tell you from experience. I always had a lot of girlfriends, I had been taught that a man has to have just one wife, and I believed that for a long time. I got married before I was 18 years old, I had a nice car, I had a house, and I didn't owe anybody anything. I thought I was doing real good, until I found out that the girl I had chosen to settle down with, was bad to the bone. That mistake cost Me over a million dollars, and over 40 years of grief, and one ruined offspring. So much for the one wife thing. For the 10 missrable years We lived together, she was the only one for Me, but she didn't see it that way Herself, a hard lesson.
Since the big mistake, I have had more than one woman in My house most of the time, no secrets, I'm not a good lier, so whatever I do is up front with them, that is the best way to be. The only one of them that I've had, that I just can't stand at all, is the "big Mistake".
Since I was ignorant of the marriage laws the creator had given us for our own good, I let some very good women slip passed, I was also hung up on the one wife thing. I am very blessed to still have a very good woman who has been with Me over 27 years. Another one who had been with Me 14 years, got mad because I would not buy a new car, I wouldn't own a new car, how childish. She bought Her a new car, it stayed in the dealership for the next 6 months, at least, I don't know how much more.
My suggestion is, if You get a chance to take a second wife, or third, or more, who is good people, let the rest of the world think what they will. If the other people attend their own business, they ain't got time to bother You.
Jay
If You look around You, it's obvious that the very people who would put down PM, most likely, have, or have had, at least one boyfriend or girlfriend on the side while telling everybody how perfect they are in their marriage.I learned this lesson a long time ago. I made many mistakes, concerning multiple wives. I have not always known what the Scriptures had to say, and I paid the price for that.
I can tell you from experience. I always had a lot of girlfriends, I had been taught that a man has to have just one wife, and I believed that for a long time. I got married before I was 18 years old, I had a nice car, I had a house, and I didn't owe anybody anything. I thought I was doing real good, until I found out that the girl I had chosen to settle down with, was bad to the bone. That mistake cost Me over a million dollars, and over 40 years of grief, and one ruined offspring. So much for the one wife thing. For the 10 missrable years We lived together, she was the only one for Me, but she didn't see it that way Herself, a hard lesson.
Since the big mistake, I have had more than one woman in My house most of the time, no secrets, I'm not a good lier, so whatever I do is up front with them, that is the best way to be. The only one of them that I've had, that I just can't stand at all, is the "big Mistake".
Since I was ignorant of the marriage laws the creator had given us for our own good, I let some very good women slip passed, I was also hung up on the one wife thing. I am very blessed to still have a very good woman who has been with Me over 27 years. Another one who had been with Me 14 years, got mad because I would not buy a new car, I wouldn't own a new car, how childish. She bought Her a new car, it stayed in the dealership for the next 6 months, at least, I don't know how much more.
My suggestion is, if You get a chance to take a second wife, or third, or more, who is good people, let the rest of the world think what they will. If the other people attend their own business, they ain't got time to bother You.
Jay
No I do not regret it as it is all I have ever known. I have known monogamy, on a very brief note and honesty it is not for me. Who would my wife talk to at 2am about a womans issue? Not I, lol. I have no idea what they are talking about half the time as far as emotions, hormones and so on. I can be sympathetic but I just really cannot relate. Even when we all fight I wouldn't trade it for the world because we do make up and there is no problem that cannot be solved. There are times when I want to second guess my decision, but then something amazing will happen and it reminds me of why we are a family. So I have to admit I have learned and grown so much from this. Through all of it and my ego has shrunk, but the spaces in my heart have been filled beyond measure. I often wandered if I could really love two women with out loving the other one more. I really can. Because the way I love my first wife and the way I love my second wife are the same just in different ways! Whats awesome is I do not have to show off or impress them, they both love me for who I am. They would both go to hell and back to make sure I am ok and I would do the same! I am sure they both have moments they wander if they did the right thing as well (seeing that they pushed the issue), but they are both happy and glad they wanted this. So in all honesty we have no regrets, we only hope too live a little longer so we can keep sharing the love that we feel!