Sam Speaks
Member
Should man and (first) wife have combined or shared bank accounts?
Does it change anything if he takes subsequent wives/concubines?
Does it change anything if he takes subsequent wives/concubines?
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Shared vs separate bank accounts?
- Thread starter Sam Speaks
- Start date
Personal perspective
Long term I would go with a family trust and vestiture in the trust after a few years and at least one child. Day one...not a chance. I worked for my assets.
Day one a checking account and walking around as well as emergency money. This is utilitarian in a couple of respects. Obviously because she needs to have money and also you need to see how she is with money.
I hate to view the world viavtue lense of fiction but I will use it as an analogy we are in large part familiar with as a group. In the show big love, the character Nicki, the middle wife, she is Horrible and duplicitous about her handling of money and it causes problems in the family. No man wishes to treat his wife like a child but until you Know that she can be trusted with access to large sums of the families assets, then she should not be allowed to have thst access.
If we are to be the head of the family, then we need to act as the head.
Later is later but a wife's habits have to first be established
Long term I would go with a family trust and vestiture in the trust after a few years and at least one child. Day one...not a chance. I worked for my assets.
Day one a checking account and walking around as well as emergency money. This is utilitarian in a couple of respects. Obviously because she needs to have money and also you need to see how she is with money.
I hate to view the world viavtue lense of fiction but I will use it as an analogy we are in large part familiar with as a group. In the show big love, the character Nicki, the middle wife, she is Horrible and duplicitous about her handling of money and it causes problems in the family. No man wishes to treat his wife like a child but until you Know that she can be trusted with access to large sums of the families assets, then she should not be allowed to have thst access.
If we are to be the head of the family, then we need to act as the head.
Later is later but a wife's habits have to first be established
Sound advice
For some practical reasons we had a split bank account at the start of the marriage. It was a bad idea that didn’t work. But we’re not great at complexity. Someone else might be able to do it better.
We have always had a joint bank account, actually set it up some time before the wedding because it simplified wedding preparation. And even before then, while we were engaged, I treated our separate accounts as one - I just stopped caring who paid for what because it made no difference since we'd be combining our assets soon enough. It's just simple.
I would not have even been marrying her had I not verified that she was trustworthy with money. Very early on in dating she needed a dress to go out to a dance. I gave her my bank card, told her the pin number, and sent her to buy a dress. She bought what must have been the cheapest dress in the shop, and thereby passed the somewhat risky test. After that I was quite happy to have a joint account with her.
But that's in a monogamous marriage. I fully appreciate that more complex situations require more complex solutions, and if there is a wife who cannot be trusted with money, she needs to be given just what she can be trusted with.
Bear in mind though that there are also many men who cannot be trusted with money - the classic example of the man who blows the paycheck on beer before giving the wife enough for the groceries is not just a myth. If it is the man who is the one who struggles with finances, and the wife is actually more money-minded, joint accounts are far better as then both are able to work as a team more effectively and know exactly what's going on.
I would not have even been marrying her had I not verified that she was trustworthy with money. Very early on in dating she needed a dress to go out to a dance. I gave her my bank card, told her the pin number, and sent her to buy a dress. She bought what must have been the cheapest dress in the shop, and thereby passed the somewhat risky test. After that I was quite happy to have a joint account with her.
But that's in a monogamous marriage. I fully appreciate that more complex situations require more complex solutions, and if there is a wife who cannot be trusted with money, she needs to be given just what she can be trusted with.
Bear in mind though that there are also many men who cannot be trusted with money - the classic example of the man who blows the paycheck on beer before giving the wife enough for the groceries is not just a myth. If it is the man who is the one who struggles with finances, and the wife is actually more money-minded, joint accounts are far better as then both are able to work as a team more effectively and know exactly what's going on.
How you work your situation will be between you, your wives, and Almighty God. Depending on where you live and what your financial circumstances are will, in all probability, give cause to do things unique to yourselves and those circumstances. Neither of my wives were good at financial management but we have worked out a system that caters to all our needs. My advice, rather than trying to copy what someone else has done, work out what will best cater to your needs and seek to honour God in how you manage your finances accordingly. Shalom
Husband must manage and oversee family finances and spending. How he chooses to do that is up to him, however my strong suggestion would be to have a joint family account with the husband and wives. I personally feel it can be better managed that way as opposed to separate accounts. There’s some leeway in what works best for family as decided by husband with input from wives however I personally feel being able to manage funds and control spending out of one account is best.
We've always merged our finances. I set the budget deciding how much money goes into every category each pay period (with input from wife), and she is the bookkeeper who collects receipts and records all of our expenditures. We also each get some personal money to "blow", though this is a relatively small amount.
This is a monogamous marriage, and my wife is very careful and responsible with money. Also, she is the wife of my youth. I understand polygamy, and or divorce abd remarriage might complicate things a lot.
This is a monogamous marriage, and my wife is very careful and responsible with money. Also, she is the wife of my youth. I understand polygamy, and or divorce abd remarriage might complicate things a lot.
This!
In any event the husband should be transferring funds to the wife on a weekly basis to run the household.
There's no scriptural requirement for such a framework. It might suit some to work this way but not others, so to say this is what a husband 'should' do is to go beyond what is written. The Proverbs 31 wife considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard (v:16). This woman is wise and responsible in her financial management and there's nothing to indicate her husband is transferring funds to her 'on a weekly basis to run the household.'
This!
In any event the husband should be transferring fudns to the wife on a weekly basis for
She is either dependent, or independent. Cant have it both ways.
The Proverbs 31 wife is wise and a good business manager. She is productive and from the profits she makes demonstrates sound investment skills. Is there a problem with that?
Of course not, it just occurs under the watch and control of her husband, she is not the ultimate decision make today, he is.
Carefully though, this is what can happen when the NT changes things slightly from the OT times
Ephesians 5: 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
G3956 πᾶς "Everything" in the above verse includes, business, property, money, bank accounts, trading, company profits etc etc
- each, every, any, all, the whole, everyone, all things, everything
So you agree with my comment,
Yes, he is boss in his home.
There is no need to put restrictions where God doesn't put them.
The Proverbs 31 woman is believed by many to have been King Solomon’s mother.
She had unlimited funds behind her.
She wasn’t supporting the family, she was ministering to the community. Remember that all real estate reverted back to the original family every 50 years. So the only value that it had was the rental value between the time that it was sold and the next Shemitah. Land was only sold because a family was in desperate straits and she bought and resold as an intermediary to help them.
The fun one is why did she plant a vineyard? Because it took years for a vineyard to become financially profitable, so the average family couldn’t afford to put one in, but she wasn’t dependent on the profits so she could invest in the land and when the family received it back it had increased ability to support them.
Her buying and selling of the other goods was facilitating home-based businesses.
Her financial gains weren’t a drop in the bucket for her family, her real example for us is her ministry to her community and not sitting on the couch eating bon-bons all day like a normal queen would do.
Using her as an example of a woman supporting her family is a perversion of the message from King Solomon.
She had unlimited funds behind her.
She wasn’t supporting the family, she was ministering to the community. Remember that all real estate reverted back to the original family every 50 years. So the only value that it had was the rental value between the time that it was sold and the next Shemitah. Land was only sold because a family was in desperate straits and she bought and resold as an intermediary to help them.
The fun one is why did she plant a vineyard? Because it took years for a vineyard to become financially profitable, so the average family couldn’t afford to put one in, but she wasn’t dependent on the profits so she could invest in the land and when the family received it back it had increased ability to support them.
Her buying and selling of the other goods was facilitating home-based businesses.
Her financial gains weren’t a drop in the bucket for her family, her real example for us is her ministry to her community and not sitting on the couch eating bon-bons all day like a normal queen would do.
Using her as an example of a woman supporting her family is a perversion of the message from King Solomon.
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Is there any support for this belief @steve? Cheers
Bathshebaâs Legacy- the Woman Behind Proverbs 31
 When we think of Davidâs sin with Bathsheba we  usually consider the events surrounding the incident (2 Samuel 11:1-26) , the horr...
out-of-theordinary.blogspot.com
That's not conclusive proof, but definitely an interesting and edifying article, which considers a very real possibility.Bathshebaâs Legacy- the Woman Behind Proverbs 31
 When we think of Davidâs sin with Bathsheba we  usually consider the events surrounding the incident (2 Samuel 11:1-26) , the horr...
Regarding vineyard production, I think 10-50 years is long enough to make growing grapes worthwhile. I don't know the size of field in question here (1/10 or an acre family size vineyard or 50 acre commercial vineyard makes a difference). With 30-50 years even large scale would probably make sense. When I have grown grapes in my garden, it seems like I started getting good production by about year three.
You raise some good points, but I don't think Proverbs 31 is only meant to be a guide for rich queens.
The comment, 'Most Jewish and Christian scholars agree that King Lemuel, the author of Proverbs 31, was Solomon' doesn't prove it was Solomon nor does it prove Bathsheba was the Proverbs 31 woman. Thanks for the link to the article but it doesn't actually prove anything.Bathshebaâs Legacy- the Woman Behind Proverbs 31
 When we think of Davidâs sin with Bathsheba we  usually consider the events surrounding the incident (2 Samuel 11:1-26) , the horr...