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Sharing with my mom.

Jennifer

Jennifer

Member
Female
As of right now, I have not told my mom that we are pursuing a polygamous lifestyle. However, I have seriously considered discussing with her what we have learned because she is dealing with crippling, unhealthy jealousy in her own marriage. This is her second marriage, after the death of my father. I believe she struggles because she has believed the lies that a man only has the capacity to love one woman, so she fears the possibility of a woman attracting her husband's attention. He is completely monogamous and desires monogamy, therefore she really has nothing to worry about. However, a man will be attracted to other women. They can't help it. That doesn't mean they act on all attractions. How can I help my mom see that her husband noticing another woman isn't a threat to her position? Honestly, I doubt he is even noticing other women. My mom is just very fear bound. Please share ideas how I can gently share the truth with her. Please describe to me a man's nature and a female's nature from scripture so that I can show her that God placed in man, not women, the ability to be attracted to more than one person and still love the first, and we should not emasculate men by making them feel guilty for a God given trait.
 
I used to feel very insecure about my husband's attraction to other women. I used to think that his attraction for other women equaled a desire to have an affair. That I wasn't enough, or that he was dissatisfied with me in some way. The thing that cured it for me was when he shared with me the truth of biblical marriage through scripture and it made sense to me that God had designed him that way so that he could take care of and love more than one woman. I am not sure how I would have understood it any other way, or how you could explain it to her without that context. If a woman has the "monogamy only" mindset, her husband's attraction to other women just doesn't fit.

Perhaps ask her if you could share some things that God has been teaching you from the scriptures that may help her not to feel so fearful?
 
Basically what everyone else has said. Share with her what you’ve learned. Share the verses and relay how you’ve come to accept them.

But, don’t expect instant results. My mom’s a Christian and I’ve shared all with her. She’s seen us living this life over the past 13 months and has seen that it works for us. Meaning she knows that my husband still loves me and provides for me, even with another woman that he loves and provides for.
YET, she isn’t in a place where she’ll concede that it’s a “good” lifestyle choice. Because, sadly, it can take YEARS for the conditioning of our culture to fade away.

I know exactly how your mom feels. I’ve operated in that fear before.
But, all YOU can do is share what you’ve learned through scripture and experience and love on her and pray for her.
Emotions—and the validations of those emotions from our own churches—are a difficult thing to overcome.
Did I mention prayer? ;) God is really the only one who can both prepare a person’s heart for this change and align them with HIS thoughts.

You just get the fun job of helping her through it. :)
 
She probably can't hear it to be honest. At the end of the day she isn't worried about his attraction to other women. Most likely she wants to control him period and the truth of Biblical marriage will only further threaten that control.
 
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