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So you want to be an alpha male?

cnystrom

cnystrom

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
There has been a lot of talk about the PUA community and the sociology behind the concept of alpha male, etc.

Here is an interesting starting place. It is a National Geographic video about being an alpha male in human society.


I found it very interesting and sometimes pretty funny.
 
Fascinating.
Especially since the new teaching that is coming out is that alphas don’t exist in nature. Trying to promote beta as more desirable.
 
I did notice that they missed a very *cough, cough* potent alpha item that is available to humans. :rolleyes:
 
cnystrom said:
There has been a lot of talk about the PUA community and the sociology behind the concept of alpha male, etc.

Here is an interesting starting place. It is a National Geographic video about being an alpha male in human society.


I found it very interesting and sometimes pretty funny.
Click to expand...
Totally interesting. I'm just curious how important each of you finds it to be Alpha in your life. Is it a desire to always control the situation?

I'm generally pretty choosy. I analyze the situations individually. I apply cost/benefit. If it's worth it, I apply Alpha techniques. If it's not an important situation, I just blend or go around the periphery.
 
And for the record, that Neftalie dude seemed to be more annoying jerk than biblical alpha. Throwing papers on the floor so that others would have to pick them up and casting cheap pick up lines? Not respect worthy. He's what I see as a prototypical. MGTOW type.
 
Mojo said:
And for the record, that Neftalie dude seemed to be more annoying jerk than biblical alpha. Throwing papers on the floor so that others would have to pick them up and casting cheap pick up lines? Not respect worthy. He's what I see as a prototypical. MGTOW type.
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He was a jerk, but the weird thing is that he successfully lead the group and handled a guy being a bigger jerk. All without knowing that he was being scrutinized.
I thought that it ended rather abruptly and that any escalation at the end was cut off. The possibility that he challenged Baldy in a very physical way exists as a possibility, yea even a probability.
 
Mojo said:
Totally interesting. I'm just curious how important each of you finds it to be Alpha in your life. Is it a desire to always control the situation?
Click to expand...
I haven't watched the video and am unlikely to take the time. (Nothing personal, I'm just not a video/podcast kind of guy.) But I'm wondering if we should accept this framing of 'alpha', 'beta', and whatever.

My gut reaction to your question, Mojo, is "answer: zero". I just focus on being a man, with a side helping (or turbo-boost) of being a leader, and that's about it. I don't care about the 'alpha' tag, especially when it's kicked around like some kind of elite status at which one 'arrives'. You either is or you ain't. I don't think it works like that.

I think our focus should be on being better men, which is a continuous process, and avoids the stereotyping, self-righteousness, and condescension of trying to categorize each other. We're all just disciples on the way....
 
andrew said:
I haven't watched the video and am unlikely to take the time. (Nothing personal, I'm just not a video/podcast kind of guy.) But I'm wondering if we should accept this framing of 'alpha', 'beta', and whatever.

My gut reaction to your question, Mojo, is "answer: zero". I just focus on being a man, with a side helping (or turbo-boost) of being a leader, and that's about it. I don't care about the 'alpha' tag, especially when it's kicked around like some kind of elite status at which one 'arrives'. You either is or you ain't. I don't think it works like that.

I think our focus should be on being better men, which is a continuous process, and avoids the stereotyping, self-righteousness, and condescension of trying to categorize each other. We're all just disciples on the way....
Click to expand...
I totally get what you're saying, but maybe I didn't frame it correctly. Some people just always have to be in charge, or take control. That isn't necessarily Alpha. I think it's a personality type, not necessarily a character type (manhood). I run into it all the time at work. Unfortunately, it is the females that often take on that role (take charge) and God help any man who tries to challenge that.
 
steve said:
He was a jerk, but the weird thing is that he successfully lead the group and handled a guy being a bigger jerk. All without knowing that he was being scrutinized.
I thought that it ended rather abruptly and that any escalation at the end was cut off. The possibility that he challenged Baldy in a very physical way exists as a possibility, yea even a probability.
Click to expand...
Agree. Highly edited.
 
Mojo said:
I totally get what you're saying, but maybe I didn't frame it correctly. Some people just always have to be in charge, or take control. That isn't necessarily Alpha. I think it's a personality type, not necessarily a character type (manhood). I run into it all the time at work. Unfortunately, it is the females that often take on that role (take charge) and God help any man who tries to challenge that.
Click to expand...
Yeah, if you're talking about what they used to call a "Type A" personality (impatient, intolerant, take-charge, control freak type), then that's different, but my personal answer has evolved from trying to make lots of things happen and control outcomes to just focusing on God and doing what I can to help as I understand what God expects me to do in my sphere of influence.

Totally agree on typical workplace dynamics....
 
andrew said:
You either is or you ain't
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I learned (or solidified) things/understandings.
I have no desire to be THE alpha of alphas, but I can see how portraying submissive behavior/actions in my own family does not inspire my people.
The role playing before the bungee jump and how it affected their ability to accept the challenge was especially instructional to me.
 
But how do you distinguish what we're calling 'alpha' from what we used to call 'being a man'? Why have we created separate classifications of manhood instead of one ideal and a continuum of progress toward that goal? Bottom line: Shouldn't 'beta male' be an oxymoron?
 
You are right, beta male is a oxymoron.
The problem is that it is also a reality.
Men-bashing has been so successful that many males are not comfortable being seen as leaders.
Toxic masculinity is what any form of male leadership/manliness is viewed as.

A strong male (read man) is a negative thing, while a strong woman, (read feminist) is the ideal in the World that we inhabit.
We are in this world, but not of it.
 
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The thing is that we're comparing two entirely different things here. The worldly view of an alpha male is one that pits men against each other in competition for resources, respect and mates with the emphasis being on mates. Remember this term originated from the study of wolves.

Our model us one where men respect each others authority and position un their proper spheres. It's a completely different system. Mates are bestowed by their fathers. Respect is inherent in the position of husband and father. There are times for competition and healthy conflict in our model but its in very limited spheres, and has nothing to do with the core areas an "alpha male" would be interested in.

So this whole concept has limited utility for us as patriarchs. An alpha male is not our example. If we're leaders in our home and steadfast in our beliefs publicly then we are good men in God's eyes whether or not we can make other men bend to our will.
 
It’s not about being THE alpha male.
It is about understanding interactions and dealing with differing levels of alpha behavior.
Sometimes it’s about taking your glass of beer away from the guy that wants to be Mr Macho.
And sometimes it’s about inspiring your team.
 
steve said:
It’s not about being THE alpha male.
It is about understanding interactions and dealing with differing levels of alpha behavior.
Sometimes it’s about taking your glass of beer away from the guy that wants to be Mr Macho.
And sometimes it’s about inspiring your team.
Click to expand...
Can't help it. Gotta insert music video here.

 
ZecAustin said:
The thing is that we're comparing two entirely different things here. The worldly view of an alpha male is one that pits men against each other in competition for resources, respect and mates with the emphasis being on mates. Remember this term originated from the study of wolves.

Our model us one where men respect each others authority and position un their proper spheres. It's a completely different system. Mates are bestowed by their fathers. Respect is inherent in the position of husband and father. There are times for competition and healthy conflict in our model but its in very limited spheres, and has nothing to do with the core areas an "alpha male" would be interested in.

So this whole concept has limited utility for us as patriarchs. An alpha male is not our example. If we're leaders in our home and steadfast in our beliefs publicly then we are good men in God's eyes whether or not we can make other men bend to our will.
Click to expand...
Precisely.

@andrew you didn't watch the video, but it was mainly looking at dominance (alpha) behavior from an evolutionary biology point of view using apes. It wasn't hard science by any means, but there were some golden nuggets showing body language and body stance related to male interactions. It was in the realm of pop psychology.

So, @ZecAustin , you are right. We aren't necessarily competing for limited resources, or mating privileges like the apes in the video.

Do I need to be a fool and challenge the likes of the 7'2", 400 pound guy over a beer? No. But, if that man (or the "wild" gorilla) is going to challenge the safety of that which God has given me....I will fight to the death. No question! That's the true man. Not the punk who spews crummy pick up lines, grabs women by the crotch, or tries to lead a nation based on boorish, childish behavior....oops, got political again.:rolleyes:
 
steve said:
You are right, beta male is a oxymoron.
The problem is that it is also a reality.
Men-bashing has been so successful that many males are not comfortable being seen as leaders.
Toxic masculinity is what any form of male leadership/manliness is viewed as.

A strong male (read man) is a negative thing, while a strong woman, (read feminist) is the ideal in the World that we inhabit.
We are in this world, but not of it.
Click to expand...
And the world I operate in, the women know it! They are in the catbird seat and readily swat down men who try to pop their heads up. Get too male and you are labeled selfish and arrogant. If a male wants to get ahead, he needs to display lots of beta....lots of it.
 
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