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So you want to take a concubine...

Scarecrow

Member
Some places are better than others for doing just that...

http://news.ph.msn.com/regional/article ... id=5891249

Obviously the wife was jilted because in the complaint she says he is an "abuser" and a "scrooge". I think she wanted some expensive stuff and he said no (she considers that "abuse") and therefore is a "scrooge". I think she probably threatened him to get her "stuff" and he told her to go ahead because he didn't think she would do it. At least he handled it correctly in his reply to the press.
 
Cute.
 
I thought it was interesting that they have a definition of a concubine:

"The crime of "concubinage" in the Philippines is defined by law as a husband having sex with a mistress in his family's home, or living in another home with a woman who is not his wife."

Essentially they consider her nothing more than a mistress. It seems the biblical definitions of adultery, marriage, divorce, and now even concubine have been corrupted.
 
Scarecrow said:
It seems the biblical definitions of adultery, marriage, divorce, and now even concubine have been corrupted.

And their laws, of course, effectively stop all of the above from taking place! ;)
 
Scarecrow said:


Obviously the wife was jilted because in the complaint she says he is an "abuser" and a "scrooge". I think she wanted some expensive stuff and he said no (she considers that "abuse") and therefore is a "scrooge". I think she probably threatened him to get her "stuff" and he told her to go ahead because he didn't think she would do it.

Scarecrow, please explain to me, I read the article very clearly. I see a woman, probably feeling betrayed and fed up. it is also possible, considering he is from a wealthy family, that she was expecting a higher standard of living that he provided, perhaps she feels that the Mistress was getting too much of the money? I don't see any evidence for your statement (in bold) Whatever way you look at it, in a poverty stricken country, a wealthy and apparently politically powerful man sleeping with the Maid (as his wife alleges) is an abuse of power and I would hate to think that any man here thinks that is acceptable, it certainly isn't gallant.
From what I see, no matter how "dignified" his comment to the press is, this man is not exactly a nice fellow.
So, Scarecrow, I am confused, why, on the scant evidence provided by the article, you take up a position as if this woman was a vicious gold digger who is unfairly persecuting her innocent husband? Because it sure does not look like that to me!

Bels
 
They are both from very wealthy clans. That being the case the struggle is for control/headship.

She has been married to him for 43 years and suddenly files a complaint with the police? Why not quietly file for annulment instead? (Divorce is illegal here)

This has been going on for a very long time...it didn't just start yesterday...it is my opinion "I think" that she did it out of vengeance in an effort to embarrass him. I have Filipino wives and have seen this very tactic attempted by them at times to a lesser degree. The culture here is very matriarchal in nature (and very Catholic...hmmm wonder if there is a connection ; ) ) which I believe (again opinion) is the root cause of this fairly typical behavior by the females here in the Philippines to control their husbands.

You are free to disagree with me, and I appreciate your opinions...they often cause me to consider the reasoning behind my opinions.
 
You act as though she herself was not humiliated (and perhaps often) by his behaviour and what she sees as infidelities. Why on earth should she skulk away privately and get an annulment? Perhaps it would not be so easy and why is the wealth of her parents even a consideration? He parents are no longer obligated to provide for her, her husband OTOH is!
If he is spending money on Mistresses instead of his family, he was being deceitful, this is not a Polygamous society, there is noevidence that he considered this woman a wife, he could have left her at any point. Why would you even think of supporting his actions?

Like I pointed out, I have family from that country please do not cast aspersions on a people I happen to be very fond of, just because you have an opinion on the behaviour of (some of) the women there, it still does not give you any particular insight into this particular case than the article suggests.

Usually I support most of your media posts Scarecrow but I believe you dropped the ball on this one, it is incredibly presumptuous and vaguely disrespectful to the women of the Philippines.

Bels
 
Bels & Scarecrow:

Enjoying both your posts. And also have a great interest in and fondness for the PI. My dad was born and raised there, and my first wedding took place in Manila (Caucasian girl, however. Another story.)

As it happens, I prolly come down somewhere between you. If Scarecrow has seen this sort of legal complaint, or the threat thereof, used as a control or revenge tactic, he has. American marriages are not immune from it either. It often works, or else brings the marriage to an abrupt end, if the husband says, "If you are willing to try that sorta tactic, I am not going to stick around for you to decide to go ahead."

That said, I also have to agree with Scarecrow that ... 43 YEARS? And she's SUDDENLY embarrassed by this behavior, which she admits has gone on for a long, long time? Hmmm. It do make one think.

Having agreed with all that, I do, of course, have to agree with Bels about over generalizing without facts in evidence. Who knows for sure?
 
You act as though she herself was not humiliated...

To repeat myself, this had been going on for many years. IF it was such a humiliating situation to her she should have taken action decades ago.

Why on earth should she skulk away privately and get an annulment?

It is not that difficult to get an annulment if you have the money to do it...if you are familiar with how things work here money does the talking...otherwise you will typically find a deaf ear. If she had any class (again my opinion) she wouldn't air her dirty laundry in public...but she made it as public as she could - thus the vengeful aspect that seems obvious to me.

why is the wealth of her parents even a consideration?

Because many might think it was an issue if she was not from a wealthy family.

He(r) parents are no longer obligated to provide for her, her husband OTOH is!

As you should know the family structure here is not what you would typically find in the US. A considerable number of children live with their parents or at least close family relatives until they do marry or take a job elsewhere - if nothing else for economic factors. But that type of family structure is also common in the wealthy families. If/when there are difficulties in a marriage/relationship it is very common for them to move back home under the protection of their family.

You are assuming that he quit providing for her which may or may not be the case. I am assuming that he continued to provide for her as he had been. If he did quit providing for her then she has good reason to be upset with him, however taking it to the Police and publicly embarrassing him hardly seems like the best way to address the situation - if indeed that is the case. Family can be much more persuasive, and this type of action by her will only cause him to fight against her all the more and even cause a gulf between the families to form. With this in mind it seems even more likely that it was a knee jerk vengeful act on her part.

If he is spending money on Mistresses instead of his family, he was being deceitful, this is not a Polygamous society

Polygyny has been commonly practiced in the Philippines since time began...the Romanized Catholics have tried very hard to push it out, but the results are mixed at best.

there is noevidence that he considered this woman a wife, he could have left her at any point.

He was providing a home for her...something most men consider a pinnacle achievement for their wives. This wasn't hidden. She was her best friend and lived openly in one of the family homes.

Why would you even think of supporting his actions?

I am not necessarily supporting his actions (primarily because I don't know what they were). What I do see is her actions and statements and then his response. My first read on things is usually right or close to it, and when I read the article I saw a vengeful bitch and a man with character telling the general public it is none of their business...which it isn't.

Like I pointed out, I have family from that country please do not cast aspersions on a people I happen to be very fond of, just because you have an opinion on the behaviour of (some of) the women there, it still does not give you any particular insight into this particular case than the article suggests.

I am living here and have been for 15 months. This is my 4th trip here and I have a very good feel for the people and the culture. I am not saying that everyone is identical as you typically accuse me of because of the way I phrase things. There are cultural aspects that are considerably different from what most Americans would expect or understand, and I speak from my American perspective of the things I have observed here in the Philippines. Had the article been about an American couple I would have likely had the same thoughts I had about this Filipino couple.

Usually I support most of your media posts Scarecrow but I believe you dropped the ball on this one, it is incredibly presumptuous and vaguely disrespectful to the women of the Philippines.

I agree...from the information the article provides I formed an opinion, and it is possible that the story was reported incorrectly. However, if the article reflects the actual story I stand by my current opinion of the woman.

Today at the bus depot I saw a woman of about 30 years in a nice dress beating a young boy about 10 with her fists (assuming he was her son). He was crying and trying to hold on to anything he could get a hold of. He got a pail and she tore it out of his hands then lifted him half the way off the ground and threw him down which caused his head to bounce off the concrete. He put his hand to his head and she grabbed his shirt by the shoulder and dragged him about 30 feet at which point he managed to get a hold of a corner of the structure and stop her from taking him further. The abuse continued and a crowed gathered like it was a WWF wrestling match as she continued to beat him relentlessly. I even noticed a Police Officer watching. I had already gotten on a bus and was departing or I would have likely treated her to a little of her own medicine. I had seen this type of behavior by another woman about 2 months ago. I had to take her by the arm and escort her 50 feet to the road out front - and I was not very gentle with her. On the way she tried to reach down and grab a rock to hit me with but I lifted her off the ground by her arm. I'm sure they don't all act that way, but I have seen this type of behavior from a number of them. In both these cases they were hysterically yelling, very aggressive, physical, and contorted their facial features. I have never seen that type of behavior in the US.
 
Scarecrow said:
. My first read on things is usually right or close to it, and when I read the article I saw a vengeful bitch and a man with character .

And this is where I stop reading you Scarecrow.

No more, sorry but you totally lost me.

B
 
It was rather easy to reach that conclusion based on the information in the article. I have already given the reasons that caused me to come to that conclusion. In the event that more information comes to light that gives me reason to change my opinion I will do so, until such time I see it as it is...an angry and vengeful woman doing everything possible to hurt her husband. I'm not claiming he has been the perfect husband, that is unlikely considering her actions.

They claim to be Catholic, and that being the case her behavior is anything but appropriate even IF it turns out that he did stop supporting her. I wonder how many Catholic priests would counsel her to do what she did in such a situation.

In my opinion the government should not be involved in the personal relationship business (marriage licensing) and these "charges" being brought against him violate his liberty and freedom to associate.
 
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