• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Some help reviewing a bible study

UntoldGlory

UntoldGlory

Member
Male
Okay, so I'm planning on leading a bible study small group at my church, in large to introduce biblical polygamy in a non-confrontational way. I'm calling it "Unboxing God" and an covering a large variety of topics, from Law of Moses vs Covenant of Jesus, to Polygamy, to Slavery, Gifts of the Spirit, Homosexuality, and more (also some quick "fun" lookups, like Balaam's donkey and the Leviathan). Anyway, I'd like some help reviewing what I've got so far, and any pointers or suggestions from anyone else who might have done something similar. My structure will be "let's read the scriptures and discuss", not "Here's the truth and these are the scriptures I'm using to back them up".

Since time is an issue with so many topics, I will also be including a list of biblical polygamists on a hand-out that don't necessarily need to be a part of the study itself, just so people can continue to do research. The list does come from the resources section of this site, but I looked each one up and intentionally did not include references that could be considered vague (where someone had a lot of kids, but it doesn't specifically state they are poly), and I did not include references that come Jewish only texts. Discussion/Questions/Suggestions are welcome and hoped for!



Polygamy
Old testament
Exodus 21:10 - A man must continue to provide for his first wife
Leviticus 18:18 - Don’t take your wife’s sister as a wife (possibly only don’t do it to “vex” her)
Deut 21:15 - Establishing property rights when dealing with sons from multiple wives
Deut 25:5 - A man must add his brother’s widow as a wife, no “unless already married” clause
1 Kings 11:1-9 - Solomon get’s in trouble, not for polygamy, but for following the foriegn gods of his wives
2 Chronicles 24:2-3 - Joash did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, had 2 wives (chosen by the priest)
Ezekiel 23:Inclusive - God speaks of Samaria and Jerusalem as his wives, who cheat on him. (Especially NCV & NLT).

The “David Section”
2 Samuel 7:16-26 - David’s House and line established by God and it’s blessing
2 Samuel 12:7-8 - God gave David wives, and would have given more
1 Chronicles 3:1-8 and...
1 Chronicles 14:3-7- Listing of David’s sons by what wives, note Solomon not from wife number 1


New testament - Note: Jesus lived in a Poly culture and never once spoke against it, though he was quite vocal about pretty much everything else. Also, most new testament verses are only “possibly” related to polygamy.
1 Timothy 3:2 (and Titus 1:6-9) - Bishops/overseers/superintendents must be faithful to his wife, or be the husband of only one wife, depends on translation. Notes: If it means these leaders must not be poly, then why include it if poly wasn’t fine for everyone else? Also, it specifically states that someone in this position must be a family leader, so wouldn’t that have excluded Paul himself? A lot of debate about this one on the internet, but seems to boil down to “If he’s married, he must be faithful. If he’s a father, he must be a good one.” Also valid that it may be Paul thought a Poly might have too much on their plate to handle the church leadership.
Matthew 25:1-13 - Parable of the ten virgins. Again, a lot of debate on this one. To those who say the virgins are *not* wives but simply wedding party, are you then saying that the bridegroom (Jesus) will return, pick people up who have been waiting for him (Christians), then kick them out after the wedding feast?

Common arguments against:
A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, Ephesians 5:31). The argument here revolves around the fact that God made Adam and Eve, with no additional wives. Some say that means that is the only acceptable way. I point out that God said that it is not good for man to be alone before creating Eve (Gen 2:18), yet both Paul and Jesus point out that some are called to be celibate (Matthew 19:10-12, 1 Corinthians 7:1-7), Paul goes on to say that each person has his own gift (in dealing with marriage) from God. One has one gift, another has another. This shows the Adam and Eve relationship is not the “only option”. So I postulate that 1 man and 1 woman is the *default*, but not ideal for everyone. Further, Adam and Eve would likely never have had children or worn clothes if not for the fall, so should we avoid that too? As to the becoming one flesh, married men can also become “one flesh” with harlots (1 Corinthians 6:16), so that is not an exclusive thing. Further, links of a chain cleave one to the other, becoming one chain (one flesh), simultaneously. Also reference Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (Cord of three strands is not quickly broken).
Deut 17:17 - The King chosen for Israel must not marry “many” wives. How many is “many”?


References for completeness (time constraints)
Polygamists specifically mentioned in the Bible:
Abijah, King of Judah - 2 Chronicles 13:21
Abraham, father of the Hebrew nation - Genesis 16 & 25
Ahab, King of Israel - 1 Kings 20:3
Ashhur - 1 Chronicles 4:5
Belshazzar (not one of God’s people) - Daniel 5:2
Caleb - 1 Chronicles 2:18-19
David (full listing) - 1 Samuel 25: 39,43,44, 2 Samuel 3:3&7, 5:13, 14:3, 12:7-8, 12:24
Elkanah - 1 Samuel 1:2
Esau - Genesis 36:inclusive, Genesis 26:34, Genesis 28:9
Gideon - Judges 8:29
Hezron - 1 Chronicles 2:9, 2:21, 2:24
Tribe of Issachar - 1 Chronicles 7:3-4
Jacob (Father of the 12 tribes of Israel) - Genesis 29:21-30, 30:4-11
Jerahmeel - 1 Chronicles 2:10
Jehoiachin (King of Judah) - 2 Kings 24:15
Judah (progenitor of the tribe of Judah) - 1 Chronicles 2:3
Lamech (Father of Noah) - Genesis 4:19-22, Genesis 5:29
Mered - 1 Chronicles 4:17-18
Moses - Exodus 2:21, Numbers 12:1
Rehoboam (fortified Judah) - 2 Chronicles 11:18-21
Saul - 1 Samuel 14:50, 2 Samuel 3:7
Shaharaim - 1 Chronicles 8:8-11
Simeon - Genesis 46:10, Exodus 6:15
Zedekiah - Jeremiah 38:20-23
 
I have been meaning to run a home group through a series like this for a long time, and have never found time to arrange it (we don't have home groups at our church so I'd have to start it from scratch). Good on you.

You may find this booklet that I distributed at the retreat useful in formulating the study. It approaches the issue exactly as you are intending to, starting from the Bible alone rather than society. Feel free to print it to distribute if you find it useful, it's 20 pages so as a half-size booklet it prints on 5 sheets of paper.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/agtxwdxllrqc0 ... s_ed1b.pdf

The study you propose would work. The main thing that might be an issue is that you are starting with the idea that polygamy is ok then finding verses to defend it to convince people. This is backwards and overly confrontational. You will immediately get everyone trying to prove you are wrong. You are starting with the structure of marriage that everyone is familiar with, then pulling bits off and tacking bits on. This makes people uncomfortable.

The other way of doing this is to start with a completely clean slate, and look at what the Bible defines marriage as. First you will learn about marriage being between a man and a woman (it is), commitment, patriarchy - and then find that someone can have multiple marriages without compromising the fact that each is still between a man and a woman. This may be less difficult for people as you have not tried to tear their concept of marriage apart, rather just set it aside and looked to build a Biblical concept of marriage independently of it.

I am not sure which way is best, but they are two different approaches you can consider. One disadvantage of the first is that people may immediately think "why are you trying to convince us of polygamy, are you sleeping with another woman?", while the second is more neutral as you are looking at more different aspects of marriage.

It is also good to bring it all back to the Gospel. Ultimately the only real reason we have marriage is to give us an earthly illustration of our relationship with God. Once you accept polygyny the Gospel starts to make more sense. For instance, Song of Solomon is universally accepted to illustrate the love between Christ and the Church. But why did God choose Solomon to write it? Surely he could have chosen a monogamous prophet, they no doubt existed. Or at least someone with a more modest number of wives. Why Solomon?

There's always a reason for everything. When you accept that Song of Solomon was written by a ridiculously excessive polygynist to his 141st wife, while he had "virgins without number" waiting to become his next wives (SoS 6:8), suddenly you realise that this isn't about the love Christ has to some mystical Church organisation. It's about the love He has to each individual one of us. Despite Solomon's enormous number of wives, he was able to express this deep love to the Shullamite as an individual, the number of others had no bearing on his love for her. And however many other people come to know Christ, He still has the same love for each of us individually. The Church is not His one monogamous bride (this is Catholic heresy), but rather refers to "the called-out ones", a massive group of individuals. As a man is one flesh with each of his wives, each Christian is one spirit with Christ - we individually have this closeness to Him (1 Cor 6:17).

Satan hasn't destroyed the church's understanding of polygyny because he doesn't like men having multiple women, he's quite happy for men to sleep with as many women as they like... He has messed with this to distort the GOSPEL!

It all comes back to Christ.
 
Thanks for the reply and the pamphlet, I'll have to dig through it and see what I can use in the short time span I'll have to work with.

I certainly can see what you're meaning about about starting with the clean slate and easing them in. I could probably restructure some to make it less jarring, though again time becomes an issue. I'm hoping there is enough interest to extend the topic (and consequently the study itself), which would allow a more in depth look.
 
Not to contradict Samuel, whose advice is excellent, but to supplement what he's already said, here's a link to a piece I wrote a few years ago. It is a rebuttal, and I was torqued at the overall lameness of the piece I was arguing against (and at that time in my life I was getting tired of lame arguments generally), so it tends to get a bit snarky in places, but it goes head-to-head with all the major issues that get raised, and if you're going to lead a study you're going to get questioned on these. Skim it and see if it adds anything to what you're already covering--it looks like you have a pretty thorough outline already.
 
I was thinking you meant a bible study series since you were proposing so many topics. If you mean a single bible study, time will definitely be too short to use the approach I suggest, or to cover the other topics you raise. But you could do a pure polygyny study and give out resources on the wider issues.
 
Yikes! I thought it was a series, also. Good luck! ;)
 
Just to help clarify: The plan is to cover one easy/fun topic and one more in depth topic each week, with the option to go more in depth on anything the group is interested in pursuing.
 
Ah, got it. Thanks!
 
Hah, yeah, I'm not crazy enough to try and cover ALL those topics in a single day! Any given one of them (save maybe some of the short "for fun" ones) could be a series unto itself. I'm just trying to bring up Poly in as non confrontational way as possible, while covering other subjects I think Christians should study more!
 
Sorry for the double post, but I just finished reading your link there Andrew and I snagged some real gems to add to the study, thanks! After dinner I'll start in on FollowinHim's.

Since I don't want to TRIPLE post, I'll just tack on that I'm seeing some GREAT stuff in FH's booklet as well, and plan on using the Alien analogy for my ENTIRE Bible study, not just the Polygamy part!

Thanks guys, good stuff.
 
Glad that was helpful, and glad you're out there teaching this stuff!!
 
No problem. I first found this website while preparing a sermon on polygamy for my church. That was interesting to present! I know where you're coming from and see what you are doing as vital yet very daunting work, so am glad to help.
 
You know, I'm far more excited and enthusiastic than daunted. Perhaps it's naivete, but I don't think so. You see, I've wondered for a while if God was planning on using my training and experience in some way, and I was somewhat apprehensive about it. I'm currently a recruiter for the Air Force, and so have gotten some really good training in public speaking, presentation of ideas, finding out people's underlying needs, and overcoming objections to major lifestyle changes. Additionally, once you work with high school kids for a couple of years who think they are waaaaay cooler than they are, you start caring a lot less about what people think about you, and in turn, they find themselves wanting you to think well of them.

I think helping change the culture of the church (not just about polygamy) may be a real calling for me. Traditionally, my calling has focused almost solely on worship, and I've served or led teams for many years. While I do love that, I think God is ready for me to step up and do more. Luckily he knows I am most effective when I am passionate about something, and this is certainly something it's easy for me to be passionate about.
 
Interesting parallels. I'm looking forward to meeting you sometime....
 
Speaking of, when is the next meetup? Not the Labor day one, too short of notice there unfortunately, but after that. (Watch in amazement as I skillfully derail my own thread!)
 
Should be a weekend retreat in Reno the 2d or 3d weekend in October. Still nailing that down....
 
Might be able to swing it, have a business trip the last week of Oct, will start earmarking funds for a retreat. Annoyingly for all that we're in the middle of the country, we end up being far from everything and close to nothing!
 
Quick update, my study got cleared at the pastor's staff meeting today, so it'll be in the bulletin and have a sign up sheet come Sunday! Super excited and just praying that I don't jack it up, and that people's hearts are open!
 
Wow! That is great news! I assume the material was reviewed? If so, I am pleasantly shocked this was approved for study, and excited to see how this proceeds.
 
Well, the topics were, not the specific verses I am covering. So maybe they're making assumptions that just currently work in my favor.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top