A
Anonymous
Guest
Few months ago before we relocated to SoCal, a long time friend of ours (my wife's and I) had a good bye chat w/me where she expressed interest in 'living together with me and my wife', when we started sharing about how our lives are going (I sort of prompted the conversation in this direction, and surprisingly, she took it well). I've always known this woman has liked me as a man, and perceived me as honest, ethical and committed to my wife, despite the fact that she knows some of my personal sins that I committed in my marriage, and has remained a friend of ours for 6+ years
She's also been less fortunate, in that she was divorced once after 7 years of marriage, and now married to a guy 7 years younger than her (she's 35, my age...) who has had a sketchy relationship with her. This time around, she has 2 children, a 2 year old and a newborn. She nearly divorced him after the first child because he abused her - both physically and emotionally - and wasn't really around much due to his job (diver).
I let her know that if she and her current husband ever divorced or if she left him because of abuse or abandonment (e.g. he becomes a deadbeat dad), that I'd talk to my wife about creating a relationship in which she and her children would be part of our family (me, my wife and our 3 year old daughter). She expressed concern that my wife might not go along with it, and I said, that's ok - if she doesn't go along, then it wasn't meant to happen, but that I would at least bring up the issue when she feels like she can no longer tolerate her current husband, if that ever happened.
I've not told my wife that I've talked to our friend about this. I'm not sure if I ought to hold out talking to her until the time is right - which may be never, worst case. On the other hand, I feel somewhat burdened that I had this chat with our friend and not told my wife about it...
I mean well, and I am prepared to take her as a second wife, however that looks like, and help with the rearing of her children - for life.
I request prayers that I will have the strength, without shame or guilt, to bring this up to my wife as well as the strength to take a 'no', without disappointment if the outcome isn't what me and our friend is hoping for.
She's also been less fortunate, in that she was divorced once after 7 years of marriage, and now married to a guy 7 years younger than her (she's 35, my age...) who has had a sketchy relationship with her. This time around, she has 2 children, a 2 year old and a newborn. She nearly divorced him after the first child because he abused her - both physically and emotionally - and wasn't really around much due to his job (diver).
I let her know that if she and her current husband ever divorced or if she left him because of abuse or abandonment (e.g. he becomes a deadbeat dad), that I'd talk to my wife about creating a relationship in which she and her children would be part of our family (me, my wife and our 3 year old daughter). She expressed concern that my wife might not go along with it, and I said, that's ok - if she doesn't go along, then it wasn't meant to happen, but that I would at least bring up the issue when she feels like she can no longer tolerate her current husband, if that ever happened.
I've not told my wife that I've talked to our friend about this. I'm not sure if I ought to hold out talking to her until the time is right - which may be never, worst case. On the other hand, I feel somewhat burdened that I had this chat with our friend and not told my wife about it...
I mean well, and I am prepared to take her as a second wife, however that looks like, and help with the rearing of her children - for life.
I request prayers that I will have the strength, without shame or guilt, to bring this up to my wife as well as the strength to take a 'no', without disappointment if the outcome isn't what me and our friend is hoping for.
