We've all experienced it. The "lonelies" it's not depression in any form(my non professional opinion) it's just feeling alone and isolated. But has anyone else felt the "family lonelies"? We have and it is awful. You love eachother and the kids and even have fun but cant shake that feeling. Friends are good but not always there. Family is out of reach and that cant change anytime soon if ever. Just collectively, its lonely. We cant be the only family that feels this. Given the wavering likelihood our lady will be joining us, I cant shake it off. Having her has seemed like an answer to our prayers concerning this but I dont know at this point. Anyway, not to sound all sad and beta Male but does anyone else experience this?
My perspective will come from a different angle but on topic. Please understand that my comments are the result and culmination of years battling this issue of loneliness,though I've only been a widow for 6. Wm. Paul Young and Baxter Kruger have some excellent discussions revolving around this topic and are probably the 1st ones who the Lord used to help me grasp Scriptural truth which began to help me know the choices I needeed to make to disarm the enemy and resist the sly attempts to steal what YHWH fully intends for His children--an ever present joy with a face-to-face relationship. By no means am I immune to the loneliness "virus". I'm very much human. You, me, each of your family members--every single one of us NEED human relationship--community, touch, love, communication, fellowship, respect, and honor. God created Adam in His image, so we know that in the realm of the Godhead--Father, Son, Holy Spirit loneliness was never intended to be the plague it has become amongst us humans. There is complete and constant relationship--community, touch, love, communication, fellowship, respect, and honor--in the midst of the Trinity. Adam had all of that. Adam and Eve had all of that. Adam, Eve, and the Trinity had all of that until the humans chose to turn from the face-to-face relationship with YHWH. As I in my humanness turn from that face-to-face relationship with my Papa, Yeshua, and Sarayu--to the extent I turn, and keep turning trying to find what I've lost of the relationship components through other humans or things--to that extent, the loneliness "virus" multiplies, mutates, morphs, and seems to become bigger than life or even the very source that could destroy it--the Creator, GOD Himself. It becomes a very slippery slope, a downward spiral which tightens choking the life from my spirit which YHWH quickened with His precious gift of salvation.
Neh. 8:10b says, "...for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Evaluate that literally, and you'll be able to get your feet down on this issue of loneliness. There's a mathematical equation here. The Creator of the Universe established this Natural Law. Test it; prove it; Natural Law never changes! To the extent you are able to rejoice, praise, and embrace your moment by moment circumstance--to that extent your joy will have measure, which will then be the exact measure of your strength. Strength to do what? Live! Be the abounding, victorious, overcoming believer. This is not a "twinkle-your-nose", "quick-fix-it", "problem-solved" solution. It's
"a working out" of your salvation because
"greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world". It takes great diligence
"to bring into captivity every thought". It's not easy to
"buffet the flesh daily". You may have to praise Him through the tears, but choose to praise Him you must if you would win this battle over loneliness. Though humans need humans, we can not look to humans as our source to fight the loneliness virus
"for the arm of flesh WILL fail you".
The man can not solve his wife's loneliness. The wife can not solve her husband's loneliness. A second wife can not solve their loneliness. The parents can not solve a child's loneliness. A body of believers gathering collectively can not solve the loneliness of any one of the members gathering together. NONE of this should be expected, but in our world today, variations on this theme are constantly seen as the panacea for the loneliness virus. Because this virus creeps in and seeps into our brokenness, it silently begins to consume and effect every facet of our lives which also in turns skews our human relationships--the very thing we humans think is the cure for loneliness! We don't realize we've been sold a false bill of goods by pastors, psychologists, counselors, authors, doctors, and teachers.
My face-to-face relationship with my Papa, Yeshua, and Sarayu WILL directly affect the lens through which the entirety of every facet of my life is seen which in turn drives every human relationship crossing my path in a 24 hour day. It also determines HOW I will handle every obstacle, triumph, defeat, or stress. By using the correct Plumbline, the ever tightening downward spiral inverts and becomes an ever widening upward spiral. Fresh air (Ruach) and SONshine begins to flow into my being. It may be a slow but steady process and usually is; however once you make the choice the 1st time, you've made one step in the right direction instead of the wrong. You must choose to make it again and again. It's a principle in life--the more you do it; the easier it becomes--whether what you're doing is right or wrong. It will always be your choice.
"God inhabits the praises of his people." You won't be making that choice ALONE. Yeshua is holding your right hand by His right hand. He WILL help you when you make right choices. If you choose to make wrong choices, you're on your own for He can not participate. He does not leave you nor forget you and is waiting for you to re-turn to the face-to-face, but He will not help you do well in the making of your wrong choices. YHWH is so very long suffering and patient. He knows we are weak and our frame is of dust. He longs for our fellowship and face-to-face relationship.
It is in this turning to Him that the loneliness virus loses its power to destroy our joy which robs of us our strength which leaves us weak and anemic as believers, faithless, unable to resist temptation, and the enemy has us right where he wants us. If we've accepted Yeshua's gift of salvation, the enemy knows he can't have our souls so the next best thing is to incapcitate us, leaving us crippled and unfit to do battle or constantly needing R & R.
You could feel very lonely and be surrounded by people in a Sunday morning church service. A student could feel utterly cast off and abandoned in a classroom full of peers. Leaders of any description, at any level of leadership often feel very alone though they may be surrounded by faithful followers or have amazing support people around them shouldering the load. "It's lonely at the top" is a real feeling. Then you've got those who really do have the physical circumstance of being "alone"--orphaned children, widows, widowers, homeless people, victims of kidnapping, sex trafficing, homebound seniors, captured soldiers, prisoners in solitary confinement.
Yet I leave you with real people who were ALONE--Daniel, Joseph (Scripture says both had a
"most excellent spirit"), Esther, Paul and Silas, Jeremiah in the pit, the shepherd boy David, John on the isle of Patmos, Moses, Elijah, Naomi. Each individual in your family will have to decide how they will personally choose to deal with the loneliness virus. Once you begin the pursuit of a face-to-face relationship, and you desire that above all other relationships, slowly but surely that fountain of joy will begin to bubble, then fill up your vessel, and then overflow into every area of your life and spill into others. There will be ups and downs--we're human; our flesh fights us every step, but make the choice to begin and watch His joy fill in the crevices the loneliness virus has eroded away in your life. As we heal and become healthy, we enjoy and appreciate even more the community Yeshua brings around us. I didn't mean for this to be so long, but I sure hope it's given food for thought and helps someone.
