Do you love your children? Do they know it?
I know it sounds stupid, but not all children know that they are loved and valued. Even if we say it to our loved ones, they don't always hear it. And sometimes our daily conversations with them are so negative that it is hard to weed out the positive stuff.
I have read that it takes 7 positives to outweigh the damage that one negative statement does to a person. And in most relationships, there are 7 negatives for each positive. Just the opposite of what is needed. Children growing up need to know how valuable they are to their parents and to God. Without knowing that, they grow up feeling worthless and in the end they accept less than they are worth from relationships. Our parents are the standard to which we measure all future relationships. If our relationship with our parents told us we are worthless then we grow up expecting to be worthless. Until we get a solid foundation in God's love we have no idea of our worth. And sometimes that takes a while to sink in.
A few years back, I helped a family that was homeless. Against advice from others, I took a Husband, Wife and three of the cutest little boys into my home. The idea was that they would have a place to clean up, use a phone to look for work and the kids could go to school. I had a large home so there was plenty of room. Mom had very loose discipline over the boys and the father was a dictator with a drinking problem. So every so often he would fly off the handle and call his oldest son every ugly name in the book. Then later, while drunk I would hear him tell the boy that he loved him. But it wasn't done in a caring manner. The rest of the stuff he said damaged the poor boy so much that he couldn't hear the "I love you's". Eventually the mom and kids escaped to a shelter for battered women and children. (He had been abusing them and they kept it a secret from me.) After they left, I tried to explain to the man that even without hitting the kids he was damaging them because they remembered all those cuss words that he used on them. He never believed me, but I know it from experience. The things that stick in your head and heart when you are a child are the things that are said the loudest and the most frequently.
I seriously doubt that there are these types of families hanging out on our board, and it isn't my goal to make anyone think that there are. Even growing up in a normal family, there are things that children pick up on. They hear the anger in their parents voices. They see frustration more often than love. So many children grow up feeling worthless.
Throughout the bible, when children are mentioned, I can't point to a single story where the children are worthless. Some people treated children like they were not worth Jesus' time but he quickly corrected that idea. All through the bible, God blesses people with children. Children are part of the value of their parents. Women who were barren were not blessed. God looks at children as valuable. I want the children to know that they are valuable to their families and to God.
SweetLissa
I know it sounds stupid, but not all children know that they are loved and valued. Even if we say it to our loved ones, they don't always hear it. And sometimes our daily conversations with them are so negative that it is hard to weed out the positive stuff.
I have read that it takes 7 positives to outweigh the damage that one negative statement does to a person. And in most relationships, there are 7 negatives for each positive. Just the opposite of what is needed. Children growing up need to know how valuable they are to their parents and to God. Without knowing that, they grow up feeling worthless and in the end they accept less than they are worth from relationships. Our parents are the standard to which we measure all future relationships. If our relationship with our parents told us we are worthless then we grow up expecting to be worthless. Until we get a solid foundation in God's love we have no idea of our worth. And sometimes that takes a while to sink in.
A few years back, I helped a family that was homeless. Against advice from others, I took a Husband, Wife and three of the cutest little boys into my home. The idea was that they would have a place to clean up, use a phone to look for work and the kids could go to school. I had a large home so there was plenty of room. Mom had very loose discipline over the boys and the father was a dictator with a drinking problem. So every so often he would fly off the handle and call his oldest son every ugly name in the book. Then later, while drunk I would hear him tell the boy that he loved him. But it wasn't done in a caring manner. The rest of the stuff he said damaged the poor boy so much that he couldn't hear the "I love you's". Eventually the mom and kids escaped to a shelter for battered women and children. (He had been abusing them and they kept it a secret from me.) After they left, I tried to explain to the man that even without hitting the kids he was damaging them because they remembered all those cuss words that he used on them. He never believed me, but I know it from experience. The things that stick in your head and heart when you are a child are the things that are said the loudest and the most frequently.
I seriously doubt that there are these types of families hanging out on our board, and it isn't my goal to make anyone think that there are. Even growing up in a normal family, there are things that children pick up on. They hear the anger in their parents voices. They see frustration more often than love. So many children grow up feeling worthless.
Throughout the bible, when children are mentioned, I can't point to a single story where the children are worthless. Some people treated children like they were not worth Jesus' time but he quickly corrected that idea. All through the bible, God blesses people with children. Children are part of the value of their parents. Women who were barren were not blessed. God looks at children as valuable. I want the children to know that they are valuable to their families and to God.
SweetLissa
