To Seek Or Not To Seek, That Is The Question...

[steve]

In regards to marriage I do not recommend marrying a girl you do not love unless you are 100% certain without a shred of doubt that it was from God. If both of you only see each other as a challenge it would be a very uncomfortable marriage.

I think that you are too either/or with this statement. Consider the possibility that it would be a mixture, or even that any challenge wouldn’t be recognized until after the fact.

One of my favourite polygamist stories is about a girl who married an older man because she fell in love after listening to him talk at the pulpit. She pursued him and not the other way around.

Amen!
That is the beauty of polygyny is that it empowers women to have more choices and not wait around to be pursued. Ruth being the most famous example.

 

[steve]

Not every failed marriage is a result of people who were wrong for each other, and therefore not Yah’s desire.
Too many failed because one or both allowed the enemy to sabotage what Yah was building.

 

[Ruth Elizabeth]

I think that you are too either/or with this statement. Consider the possibility that it would be a mixture, or even that any challenge wouldn’t be recognized until after the fact.

Most are a mixture, but this is under the assumption that you are only marrying because you felt God commanded you to, and not because of any inclination of your own

 

[Ruth Elizabeth]

Not every failed marriage is a result of people who were wrong for each other, and therefore not Yah’s desire.
Too many failed because one or both allowed the enemy to sabotage what Yah was building.

I think most marriages could work out regardless of love if people were righteous. And some people are happy with just that as you can often grow to love a person

 

[steve]

Most are a mixture, but this is under the assumption that you are only marrying because you felt God commanded you to, and not because of any inclination of your own

No, I am not at all referring to any marriage that I felt Yah had commanded.

 

[Bartato]

When asking the question of whether to pursue or not, consider the example of our savior.
He called out specific ones and invited them to join him. The rest came as they were attracted to what he was teaching or were brought by others.
We don’t see him pursuing anyone, not that I am saying that it is wrong.

That's a very good point Steve.
As Christ said in John 6

"This is the will of the Father who sent Me, that of all He has given Me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up at the last day" (vs 39)

"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him" (vs 44)

The Father gave specific people to the Son, and those people/sheep that the Father gave the Son, heard the voice of the Good Shepherd and followed Him.

Maybe the women who are supposed to be under our leadership will also hear our voices (and hearing the echo Christ) will follow us.

 

[Ruth Elizabeth]

No, I am not at all referring to any marriage that I felt Yah had commanded.

I realized you were not, and was trying to clarify that I had originally been referring to that

 

[NickF]

I agree on the feelings of infatuation being extremely helpful. I can’t say it’s 100% necessary for a good marriage to begin, but those feelings are 100% essential to a healthy and happy marriage. Those kinds of feelings are easy to create. Respect for the person, coupled with both vulnerability and effort to make that person happy and serve their wants/needs will engender feelings of limerence and those “butterfly” emotional bonding moments.

A lot of people who’ve been married for years say those feelings fade. They do. But those feelings can be rekindled with attention to detail and effort. And it’s so wonderful to be married to someone who puts in that kind of effort.

Might have time after this weekend to expound. Getting ready for a weekend with my bride and some wonderful friends.

Hope you all have a great week and weekend!

 

[steve]

I was just told about a woman who wouldn’t consider our family because she couldn’t give up bologna.
A miss is as good as a mile.

Closeness only counts in horseshoes, atom bombs and hand grenades.

 

[Joleneakamama]

I think most marriages could work out regardless of love if people were righteous. And some people are happy with just that as you can often grow to love a person

My cousin felt you could love a wide range of people....so you might as well look for one you are compatible with (and she meant religious beliefs and lifestyle choices)

A lot of people who’ve been married for years say those feelings fade. They do. But those feelings can be rekindled with attention to detail and effort. And it’s so wonderful to be married to someone who puts in that kind of effort.

Well said, and too seldom understood.