Video about unrealistic expectations for children

[Elijahsfire]

I'm putting this in the family section because parental expectations have been such big contributer to this problem and she addresses this. Too much to explain here. Just watch. I've been saying what's contained for years....I'm glad I took a wife young.

 

[Mojo]

Saw the first 10 minutes and she's.......awesome!

Will report more later whe time permits.

 

[frederick]

Hmmm.... well worth watching and I certainly agree that western style churchianity has a lot to answer for in regard to marriage and sex, and how young people are being trained in regard to both. She makes a very good point about some not being prepared at all for sex in the marriage relationship and the problems that creates. Been there, experienced that but very grateful for having a wife who overcame the problems.

 

[rejoicinghandmaid]

Hmmm.... well worth watching and I certainly agree that western style churchianity has a lot to answer for in regard to marriage and sex, and how young people are being trained in regard to both. She makes a very good point about some not being prepared at all for sex in the marriage relationship and the problems that creates. Been there, experienced that but very grateful for having a wife who overcame the problems.

I'd say her ability to overome the problems speaks directly to your love and leadership as her husband.

 

[Joleneakamama]

Hubby watched this exact video about a week ago. She makes some good points, and encourages young people and their parents to be deliberate and responsible....and reasonable. Good stuff!

 

[Elijahsfire]

Just to add a little to what else could have been covered (in a much longer video) is we are now live in a paradox of youth experimenting with adult vice but without adult skills or wisdom. This is a world of arrested development with our young people having multiple partners, substance dependence, and credit card debt. I'd like to add as she discussed preparing children earlier for the outside world, that young adults should be completely prepared for adult life and idependance by 19 or 20. She mentioned age 22 as if it was about the norm, but young adults are hardly ready by 30 now. A remedy I have observed has been parents who homeschool often have college grads by 19 or 20 as opposed to even 3 to 5 years later. Instead of wasting junior senior year, students should be learning a trade and ready to face the world. I'm rambling....

 

[Mojo]

Learning a trade....YES!

That trade could pay for college if they are so inclined, without piling up loan debt.

 

[Elijahsfire]

Learning a trade....YES!

That trade could pay for college if they are so inclined, without piling up loan debt.

I cant remember which financial big shot suggested this, but one recommended that a young man put of high school become a plumber and begin building wealth. I say take it one step further and start early at 15 or 16 (if the law allows) and be veteran plumber by 20 (or any other trade) . This also allows of 4-5 years of living with mom or dad and not paying rent and money saved for his bride that he takes at 19 or 20
This is much more realistic for a Male to be able to wait for marriage. I got married at 20 while still in college and it was a struggle but so worth it!

 

[mystic]

I wasted so, so much of my life by not marrying much sooner. [Edit: Okay, maybe that's just whining. I tend to be very slow to act and I made my choices. But the rest of the post still stands.]

Around age 19 I got religious and at age 30 found myself at a small gathering of singles — including some older than I was — for which the activity they chose was spin-the-bottle. It's an activity to provide awkward children an opening to overcome their awkwardness. That's when I realized I had to get away from that whole scene.

Watching the video, it's so cool to hear someone else speaking with the passion that I feel about this.

The scene I was in is Mormon but the same crap applies there, maybe even worse. My step-brother, who likewise was part of the Morg, told me stories, similar to those in the video, of people who were terrified of sex, utterly messed up and unable to function in marriage.

Okay, I try to avoid posting me-too messages, especially emotional ones, but I do have one additional remark to add which I hope is constructive:

The popular emphasis on the idea that people should not marry until their brains cease to show signs of continuing maturation is abso-f***ing-lutely evil. I've heard occasional reports on this topic and they sounded so reasonable that only recently did I see through the rationalism-idolizing BS smeared three f***ing inches deep on the windshield: Your brain matures differently depending on whether you have serious responsibilities or not — so, for heaven's sake, mature while you have a spouse and children around!

 

[Elijahsfire]

I believe it was Dennis Prager who said young love is true love and he was speaking of teen love. I agree, but paired with the immaturity and unprepardness we have fostered, growing in this love has become problematic. Cause you know what we are we doing with our youth is working SOOOO well!!!!