And not in a good way :\
A few of you know that I have a brother who has generally been super supportive and understanding. A few weeks ago, out of the blue, he approached me about the whole PM issue. Now, I am not currently practicing PM as the wife is not on board, and that's fine. For me, at the moment, it is simply an issue of belief and understanding.
But, sadly, my brother did not approach it this way, could not agree to disagree, etc. Uncharacteristically, I felt that I actually answered every objection he raised, but he didn't care and ignored me. The conversation did not really end (well or otherwise), and eventually I had to just ask him to drop it and for us to not discuss it, unless he really desired to learn and hear my thoughts.
That was about two weeks ago now, maybe a bit more. At the time I was upset, but let it go. I have a sister who I would never bother discussing this stuff with (she's a hardcore feminist), and only a few friends (besides the wife, obviously
that I have mentioned this to and took it well. I had not intended to really raise the issue with the rest of my family, because I assumed (correctly) what their thoughts would be. That is, traditional/typical American response. I suppose I had over-optimistically assumed, though, that should such a thing ever actually BECOME a reality, that talking with them would go more like a gentle, slow introduction of the idea and such.
Instead, my brother broke my trust and decided to share this with the family. So three days ago I received a rather angry phone call from my father, who was...displeased, to say the least. I tried to mention some of the same points I'd made to my brother, but he didn't care. In fact at one point I said 'if you'd like to discuss what the Bible says about it...' to which he cut me off and said "I don't care what the Bible says about it". :/
Welp. That's that. I got him to hang up by letting him know that my wife and I are not currently IN the practice, and that we are for all intents and purposes perfectly happy together, and no, this does not mean there is something 'wrong' or 'going on' in our marriage. That seemed to satisfy him enough that I was able to get off the phone, but it was not really 'closure' of any sort. There's a rift and a wall there now, and sadly, I'm supposed to see them all soon when they come out to visit for my wife's end-of-Residency celebration. I have...no idea what I'm supposed to say, or how to approach them.
Anyway. Just wanted to share with folks who get it
I would appreciate prayer.
If nothing else...this really solidified for me the reality of, as some have said, needing to 'count the cost' of this lifestyle if my wife and I choose to pursue it. I haven't even DONE anything, but just the idea was enough to make everyone have a meltdown
I dunno why people can't just leave me alone. I don't go calling them up and complaining about stuff I disagree with THEM on. :/
A few of you know that I have a brother who has generally been super supportive and understanding. A few weeks ago, out of the blue, he approached me about the whole PM issue. Now, I am not currently practicing PM as the wife is not on board, and that's fine. For me, at the moment, it is simply an issue of belief and understanding.
But, sadly, my brother did not approach it this way, could not agree to disagree, etc. Uncharacteristically, I felt that I actually answered every objection he raised, but he didn't care and ignored me. The conversation did not really end (well or otherwise), and eventually I had to just ask him to drop it and for us to not discuss it, unless he really desired to learn and hear my thoughts.
That was about two weeks ago now, maybe a bit more. At the time I was upset, but let it go. I have a sister who I would never bother discussing this stuff with (she's a hardcore feminist), and only a few friends (besides the wife, obviously
that I have mentioned this to and took it well. I had not intended to really raise the issue with the rest of my family, because I assumed (correctly) what their thoughts would be. That is, traditional/typical American response. I suppose I had over-optimistically assumed, though, that should such a thing ever actually BECOME a reality, that talking with them would go more like a gentle, slow introduction of the idea and such.Instead, my brother broke my trust and decided to share this with the family. So three days ago I received a rather angry phone call from my father, who was...displeased, to say the least. I tried to mention some of the same points I'd made to my brother, but he didn't care. In fact at one point I said 'if you'd like to discuss what the Bible says about it...' to which he cut me off and said "I don't care what the Bible says about it". :/
Welp. That's that. I got him to hang up by letting him know that my wife and I are not currently IN the practice, and that we are for all intents and purposes perfectly happy together, and no, this does not mean there is something 'wrong' or 'going on' in our marriage. That seemed to satisfy him enough that I was able to get off the phone, but it was not really 'closure' of any sort. There's a rift and a wall there now, and sadly, I'm supposed to see them all soon when they come out to visit for my wife's end-of-Residency celebration. I have...no idea what I'm supposed to say, or how to approach them.
Anyway. Just wanted to share with folks who get it
I would appreciate prayer.
If nothing else...this really solidified for me the reality of, as some have said, needing to 'count the cost' of this lifestyle if my wife and I choose to pursue it. I haven't even DONE anything, but just the idea was enough to make everyone have a meltdown
I dunno why people can't just leave me alone. I don't go calling them up and complaining about stuff I disagree with THEM on. :/
