• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

What is valuable on this forum?

I have to tell that this forum is getting less valuable. I don't think I'm only one with this feeling. I remember time when missing one day resulted in 60+ unread posts, especially on weekend.

So what did you liked then or like now? We should bring back liked things and do them more.

This forum used to be way more fun. Even infamous Ukraine thread has good memories for me. Do you remember gopher termination section? Still bring laughter in my heart.

One reason is because threads usually never sticked to topic, so it was easier for somebody to write something funny. Additional reason are nuggets, some interesting info which enabled new avenues of exploration (off course, the reason for thread derailement).

Topics used to be more diverse. Current news and Internet findings were sources of much disscusion. How society finished in current situation had generated significant engagement. There was always way to learn something new.

Even fighting used to be better. Going against whole forum (like in 12 wives idea) and standing for what you consider right was interesting. I miss intelectual clashes and testing ideas on 2000+ Celsius.

Pure marriage simply doesn't generate enough value. Learning nuggets are rare, meetings are too far from me and can be better solved over email.

This forum used to be more fun, interesting and had possibility to learn something new. Now it's just visit, nothing happens.

And we need way to deal with political topics.

I do accept I could be part of problem. I have hard time accepting "losing idea conflict".

If this is true, I think one reason is that the majority of new members are always people INTERESTED in the polygamous lifestyle, but those who actually practice it (and the most prominent supporters) are always the same ones that have been here for a long time, so it is normal for there to be an exhaustion of topics, and the forum end up going in circles on some topics that have already been discussed and are being again (by the same people), and others that are easily clarified or are not brought up, because they have already been discussed exhaustively.

I know you're talking about the day-to-day dynamics of forum participation, but I think that the real gems are formed over time and are spread out over the years, and I think that will be the case with today's topics, some stand out among the majority and end up becoming "classics" or references.
 
I know you're talking about the day-to-day dynamics of forum participation, but I think that the real gems are formed over time and are spread out over the years, and I think that will be the case with today's topics, some stand out among the majority and end up becoming "classics" or references.
Good point. The problem is that makes 'em hard to find for most.

There have been occasional attempts to catalog or collect some, but the problem is 'viewpoint' - one man's gem is another man's phlegm...

And some of the best, and most valuable, honest discussions, will also inevitably be considered "divisive," as well. But, done right, it's worthy of being called "midrash".
 
There have been occasional attempts to catalog or collect some, but the problem is 'viewpoint' - one man's gem is another man's phlegm...
This could be done in an openly arbitrary manner by the staff team, or by some kind of voting.
 
Althought @Joleneakamama is way more open and public than rest. This is true reason of her specialness
I'm only open and public with what I am OK sharing. We are not dependant upon an employer. No one here has to worry about losing their job. That helps. Then too, anyone that knows me heard about my interest and support for this life long ago. I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I'm not.
Got some not afraid to be different from my mom I think.
My mom was not the sort to run from controversy. I can laugh about the truant officer that got her ears filled for hours and never came back....even though we never went to school or complied with homeschooling regulations. Then too, when the leader at the mormon church wanted my mom to leave the service and nurse the baby in the bathroom? She told him it was far less disruptive to stay and her clothes were discrete. She suggested if the men had a problem they should work on "keeping their appetites and passions within the bounds the lord has set."
The one thing people living this way often lack is fellowship and support. People go to weddings and give gifts, cards, and good wishes....IF it's for a first wife....or even someone remarrying after divorce. Not so much with adding a wife.
 
The one thing people living this way often lack is fellowship and support. People go to weddings and give gifts, cards, and good wishes....IF it's for a first wife....or even someone remarrying after divorce. Not so much with adding a wife.
My second wife lost a baby at about the third month, long ago when we attended (and were founding members of) a "fellowship" that professed "all of Scripture." She was told the elders would pray for her, but only in private, rather than corporately like all the other women who had lost children. It was a show-stopper.
 
Hardly.

Poll currently has one familiy with wives, 1 with 4 and one with 5+. Thats 1w women practicing more man-sharing than @Joleneakamama.

Althought @Joleneakamama is way more open and public than rest. This is true reason of her specialness.
I wasn't alluding to the fact there are families with multiple wives, I was talking about @Joleneakamama's statements that she is never jealous and basically never has been.

In my view, women brought up in today's society and culture, having been taught the fairy tale version of marriage that they need their own man, are going to have a little jealousy from time to time, even if it is very infrequent. And, even if they completely and totally accept plural marriage as biblical. I sense that this is hard to overcome, for most women, even those who believe the Bible in totality and completely agree with PM.
 
In my view, women brought up in today's society and culture, having been taught the fairy tale version of marriage that they need their own man, are going to have a little jealousy from time to time, even if it is very infrequent. And, even if they completely and totally accept plural marriage as biblical. I sense that this is hard to overcome, for most women, even those who believe the Bible in totality and completely agree with PM.
There's a saying at the gym: "I'm sore in places I didn't even know I had muscles!"

In my experience (my own situation and others') even women who think they get this, are ready to do whatever God wants them to do, and launch into it with good intentions can find themselves having unexpected trouble. I don't know--I never served--but I think this would be somewhat analogous to going from military training to active combat. Or maybe from rear echelon desk work to active front-line combat.

Anyway, you get the point. Jolene is something of a unicorn in this respect, and her sister wife is undoubtedly blessed to be on the receiving end of Jolene's warm welcome. But their family is an outlier statistically, and NBTX11, I think you're on the right track with your assessment.
 
it is normal for there to be an exhaustion of topics, and the forum end up going in circles on some topics that have already been discussed and are being again (by the same people), and others that are easily clarified or are not brought up, because they have already been discussed exhaustively.
What if engagement deficits on biblicalfamilies.org forums aren't due to proximate causes but are just symptoms? What if unwillingness to shut off the spigot or unclog the drain makes mopping up any forums-inadequacy-water a pointless exercise?

[Edited due to having broken a promise to myself.]
 
Last edited:
I know you're talking about the day-to-day dynamics of forum participation, but I think that the real gems are formed over time and are spread out over the years, and I think that will be the case with today's topics, some stand out among the majority and end up becoming "classics" or references.
There have been occasional attempts to catalog or collect some, but the problem is 'viewpoint' - one man's gem is another man's phlegm...
This could be done in an openly arbitrary manner by the staff team, or by some kind of voting.
This was an excellent suggestion. We already had a section called "the best of the forums", which was hardly used. I have locked down that section so only moderators can add new threads to it but everybody can still participate in the discussions that are there, and shifted it up towards the top of the forum list.

Everyone, please track down those top threads you think should be featured in such a section, and click "report" on the first post of the thread. That will bring it to the moderators attention and give us a simple way to discuss it and decide whether to shift it there or not.

There was already some content in that section, which I haven't gone through. If you think anything in it shouldn't be there, click "report" on it and let us know.

And regarding the issue of viewpoint - as @bfoster suggested, all decisions will be arbitrary by the moderators, or even by just one moderator on a whim. It doesn't matter if they don't get it right. It's not a competition. We're just collating some threads for newcomers to read.
 
This was an excellent suggestion. We already had a section called "the best of the forums", which was hardly used. I have locked down that section so only moderators can add new threads to it but everybody can still participate in the discussions that are there, and shifted it up towards the top of the forum list.

Everyone, please track down those top threads you think should be featured in such a section, and click "report" on the first post of the thread. That will bring it to the moderators attention and give us a simple way to discuss it and decide whether to shift it there or not.

There was already some content in that section, which I haven't gone through. If you think anything in it shouldn't be there, click "report" on it and let us know.

And regarding the issue of viewpoint - as @bfoster suggested, all decisions will be arbitrary by the moderators, or even by just one moderator on a whim. It doesn't matter if they don't get it right. It's not a competition. We're just collating some threads for newcomers to read.
Is there any way to make this process more transparent?

For example, could we have an unedited thread free from the threat of deletion that would allow us to chronicle when suggestions have been made about which threads get featured in the Best of the Forums? You know, so we could know which suggestions were rejected?
 
What if engagement deficits on biblicalfamilies.org forums aren't due to proximate causes but are just symptoms? What if unwillingness to shut off the spigot or unclog the drain makes mopping up any forums-inadequacy-water a pointless exercise?

[Edited due to having broken a promise to myself.]
Sorry but I couldn't understand what you said.
 
Is there any way to make this process more transparent?

For example, could we have an unedited thread free from the threat of deletion that would allow us to chronicle when suggestions have been made about which threads get featured in the Best of the Forums? You know, so we could know which suggestions were rejected?
I really don't think it matters that much, I don't see why it would be controversial enough to be all formal about. We're just making a list of things for newbies to find easily, it's not a popularity contest or a judgement on topics etc. All forum organisation decisions, shifting things from one place to another, have always been made by staff on their own judgement. It's just an organisation matter. Trying to do it by committee would be ridiculously inefficient, and we're not a Baptist church so don't need to copy their inefficiency!

Why are you worried about this?
 
Last edited:
Back
Top