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What's the best way for wives to get along?

C

Cap

Guest
In one of the past Seeking Sister Wives show, Page and Mandy? are folding clothes. And they were talking about how it needs to be done, and Page says "as long as you do it my way, we will be fine".

What is the best way for wives to learn to get along. The first wife has her ways to run a house, then another wife comes and wants to do things different. How do they learn to adjust?

One may keep the house absolutely spotless, one may be use to a home with children and know that's not always possible. One may fold and iron and hang up each piece of clothing out of the dryer in a presise spot in the closet or dresser draw. One may throw the clothes on the bed and take their time through out the day to put them away in their general place. One may put all the pots and pans, knives and forks in their exact spot, one may be a little relaxed and thier family is use to it.

How do women learn to adjust when asked to tolerate another woman's ways? Or is it the husband's responsibilitiy to make them?
 
You're in the USA so you do it your way with your wives. Here, the maid(s) take care of all those things so its not an issue with the wives. Each person gets their clothes folded, rooms kept, food cooked, etc., how they want. It's a different culture and it works differently but at the end of the day we're all Bible believing Christians so we seek to imitate Jesus Christ in all aspects of our lives and that includes how we interact in the daily affairs of the home.
 
frederick said:
You're in the USA so you do it your way with your wives. Here, the maid(s) take care of all those things so its not an issue with the wives. Each person gets their clothes folded, rooms kept, food cooked, etc., how they want. It's a different culture and it works differently but at the end of the day we're all Bible believing Christians so we seek to imitate Jesus Christ in all aspects of our lives and that includes how we interact in the daily affairs of the home.
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How do the maids handle things, what if one wife wants them to do it one way and another another way? I agree that trying to live life biblically is the goal, but emotions are emotions and from what I have learned, women have a lot of them. I am more interested in how do women handle things more than how a husband makes them handle things.
 
I think some women have the control everything syndrome instead of a work together perspective. Perhaps that’s the bottom line with that particular family. She was going to control EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.
Some families are okay with the first wife having the final say or an authoritive position over other wives and how the home will run.
Growing up we folded towels my mom’s way when we were putting her towels in her bathroom, but in the kids’ bathroom it didn’t matter to her...
I definitely don’t think there should be a my way or the highway mentality. Having had other women live in our house at various times, you get over yourself or get selfish fast. If You come to a place of ‘decently and in order’ is what’s expected, it becomes quite peaceful. If towels fit best in this cabinet folded a certain way then that’s how they go, why in the world would anyone waste their breath on micromanaging things, especially towels?
Maybe I’m more laid back in this area and would have a hard time with a perfectionist....
Also, I think if the two can’t agree, flip a coin or one wife does that task. But, it is the husband’s home... it comes down to deference, communication, and working together.
It’s towels people let it go, let’s talk about the pillows on the couch and how they are supposed to be positioned, JK:rolleyes::D
 
I’ve NEVER understood this problem. Granted, from the time I’ve been married I’d say my husband’s had more of an opinion over that stuff than I have. But, if the sw has an idea about what may work best, I wouldn’t feel threatened even a little bit.
In fact, it’s kind of a joke around here that I’m really not great at organizing so I’ll leave it to @Isaac or @Sparkles since they both are good at it. :)
I think fighting or being upset about where things go in the house or how something is cleaned is a huge waste of time. I mean, it’s just stuff.
Neither of us women in this house care about stuff like that.
It sounds more like a control issue for the sake of control than actually caring about how things are done, unfortunately.
 
Cap said:
How do the maids handle things, what if one wife wants them to do it one way and another another way? I agree that trying to live life biblically is the goal, but emotions are emotions and from what I have learned, women have a lot of them. I am more interested in how do women handle things more than how a husband makes them handle things.
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Yes, emotions are emotions. But how the women handle things is how the master of the house says - and that includes how the maid(s) respond. There is no doubt or question in this home as to who the master is so perhaps you need to start there in your home. Cheers
 
frederick said:
Yes, emotions are emotions. But how the women handle things is how the master of the house says - and that includes how the maid(s) respond. There is no doubt or question in this home as to who the master is so perhaps you need to start there in your home. Cheers
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I am really glad to hear that there is a plural family out there that runs smoothly. It sure gives hope.
 
Maybe the seeking sister wife thing was a bit extreme, but I do know that the subject of separate kitchens, separate houses, separate things does come up and sense I prefer not to use force until last resort, I appreciate the comments made. But it's seems this is not that big a deal and that's a good thing.
 
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Cap said:
Maybe the seeking sister wife thing was a bit extreme, but I do know that the subject of separate kitchens, separate houses, separate things does come up and sense I prefer not to use force until last resort, I appreciate the comments made. But it's seems this is not that big a deal and that's a good thing.
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Don't forget that it's a reality show designed to get ratings. No controversy or distress and it loses interest and viewership.
 
Cap said:
Maybe the seeking sister wife thing was a bit extreme
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Some people are just a bit OCD. It's not that uncommon and it can be hard for them to let seemingly inconsequential things go. But it's also a way some people manipulate.

Having the man decide is an easy answer, but I can imagine a lot of husbands would rather they figure out how to work it out between themselves.
 
I finally figured out how I want to say this.
Women naturally create nests. As nurtures, it’s just part of who they are.
Put two women together in one home and, nestistically speaking, you are going to have tension if the instinct is strong in both of them.
For this reason it is sometimes best for the husband to assume ownership of the way that the house decorated and arranged. The first wife probably made most of those choices, but he may need to eliminate the potential for stress.
Just declare that the house belongs to you and is decorated the way that you want it. No changes, even moving a picture, without family agreement from all y’all.

I know it sounds harsh, but many families have suffered greatly when the I’ve got to be me and I have to be able to express myself spirit kicks in.
 
We needed a new couch but it wasn’t in the budget. Then Ali ran across an awesome consignment deal.
She checked with me and I told her to text pictures and we would vote. Rearranging the living room was a community project and everyone is happy.
 
steve said:
I finally figured out how I want to say this.
Women naturally create nests. As nurtures, it’s just part of who they are.
Put two women together in one home and, nestistically speaking, you are going to have tension if the instinct is strong in both of them.
For this reason it is sometimes best for the husband to assume ownership of the way that the house decorated and arranged. The first wife probably made most of those choices, but he may need to eliminate the potential for stress.
Just declare that the house belongs to you and is decorated the way that you want it. No changes, even moving a picture, without family agreement from all y’all.

I know it sounds harsh, but many families have suffered greatly when the I’ve got to be me and I have to be able to express myself spirit kicks in.
Click to expand...

I had a feeling territorial issues could be something to consider in my original question. That does explain a lot. Thanks Steve.
 
Cap said:
In one of the past Seeking Sister Wives show, Page and Mandy? are folding clothes. And they were talking about how it needs to be done, and Page says "as long as you do it my way, we will be fine".
Click to expand...

Code for: this is my family and home. Suck up to me and be my friend and play my way, and I’ll let you be my friend and share my house, and my hubby, and my life with you.
 
steve said:
I finally figured out how I want to say this.
Women naturally create nests. As nurtures, it’s just part of who they are.
Put two women together in one home and, nestistically speaking, you are going to have tension if the instinct is strong in both of them.
For this reason it is sometimes best for the husband to assume ownership of the way that the house decorated and arranged. The first wife probably made most of those choices, but he may need to eliminate the potential for stress.
Just declare that the house belongs to you and is decorated the way that you want it. No changes, even moving a picture, without family agreement from all y’all.

I know it sounds harsh, but many families have suffered greatly when the I’ve got to be me and I have to be able to express myself spirit kicks in.
Click to expand...
And I thought I was the only one who took ownership of deciding and/or approving of home decor! I'm not poly, so I guess I'm already almost ready.:cool:
 
Mojo said:
And I thought I was the only one who took ownership of deciding and/or approving of home decor! I'm not poly, so I guess I'm already almost ready.:cool:
Click to expand...
You are on the way! :D

Btw: I can’t believe that nobody has anything to say about nestitistically speaking. :(
It’s one of my best.
 
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