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Meat When your wife wants you to leave, don't.

elkanahtyler

elkanahtyler

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When your wife wants you to leave, don't.
By Tyler & Gulane Posts & Publications 12/1`9/20

Why? Consider what the Holy Spirit tells us through Paul.
***1 Corinthians 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave^ her husband 11 (but if she does leave^, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not leave* his wife.

Please see the footnotes ^ and * below. They yield the following for the husband: “the husband should not divorce* his wife” becomes the husband should not leave or send his wife away, or let his wife go away, as in divorce. He gives us no exceptions, no extenuating circumstances. He doesn't say `the husband can divorce his wife for her immorality, unbelief, doctrinal error or unpleasantness` His Word is absolute without exceptions, the husband should not leave or send his wife away, or let his wife go away, as in divorce.
- - - - - - - - --Footnote ^
^Vine: “Depart, put apart, separate”
^Strong's Lexicon: “to go away:—depart, put asunder, separate”.
^Thayer's Lexicon: “to separate, divide, part, put asunder . . . to separate oneself from, to depart; . . . to leave a husband or wife”
https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G5563&t=NASB
- - - - - - - - -Footnote *
*Vine: “"to send away, set free;" also "to let alone,”
*Strong's Lexicon: “to send forth . . . forsake, lay aside, leave, let (– alone, – be, – go), omit, put (send) away . . . .”
*Thayer's Lexicon: to send away; . . to bid go away or depart
*Arndt & Gingrich Lexicon: “let go, send away; divorce”
https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G863&t=NASB
- - - - - - - - -

This is in agreement with His Word in Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10, “
***”6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.” Matthew 19:6
***9 What therefore God has joined together, mankind must not separate.” Mark 10

The woman/wife is allowed to separate celibately but the man/husband is not given any such permission or authorization. The only temporary separation option for the man is when he and his wife agree to have some kind of separation for prayer and fasting.
*** 5 Don’t deprive one another, unless it is by consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and may be together again, that Satan doesn’t tempt you because of your lack of self-control. . . 10 But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband 11 (but if she departs, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife. 1 Corinthians 7

What about the situation where a believer is married to an unbeliever?
***12 But to the rest I—not the Lord—say, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is content to live with him, he must not *leave her. 13 The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he is content to live with her, she must not *leave her husband. 1 Corinthians 7

From above we see that the Greek original gives us the following:
**12 But to the rest I—not the Lord—say, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she is content to live with him, he must not leave or send his wife away, or let his wife go away, as in divorce.
If a believing husband has left, sent away or let his unbelieving wife go away, as long as she is content to live with him he is not free from her maritally, and should return to her. Got that? If he left his unbelieving wife he is still maritally bound to her as long as she is content to live with him. This is true even if she was immoral, as we shall see next.


***11 He said to them, “Whoever #divorces his wife, and marries another, commits adultery against her. 12 If a woman herself #divorces her husband, and marries another, she commits adultery.” Mark 10
The Greek gives us this: Whoever #departs from, dismisses or sends away his wife, and marries another, commits adultery against her.” There are no buts or ifs about it. 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 give the only exception.
#Vine G630: “Depart:"to loose from"” [e.g. to loose himself from her]
#Strong's Lexicon G630: “(let) depart, dismiss, divorce, let go, loose, put (send) away, release, set at liberty.”
#Thayer's Lexicon G630: “to dismiss from the house, to repudiate”
#Arndt & Gingrich Lexicon: “let go, send away, dismiss”

You might ask “What about Matthew 5:32 and 19:6? Don't they allow a believer to divorce his/her mate if immorality is involved?
Read them carefully.
***32 but I tell you that whoever #puts away [departs from, dismisses or sends away] his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery. Matthew 5

Think about it. Whoever puts away, departs from, dismisses or sends away his wife HAS DISOBEYED THE KING'S COMMAND TO NOT SEPARATE THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN JOINED BY GOD ( Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9; Romans 7:2,3; 1 Corinthians 7:5,11,12,39) and needs to repent of making the separation.

There is no permission given here to divorce or separate from one's mate in Jesus' Word. An explanation is given. Jesus explained that if the husband divorces her for immorality, she is already immoral, and if anyone marries her he commits adultery. Why? Because even though she has been separated/divorced for immorality, she is still maritally bound to her husband according to Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39, except in the case of 1 Corinthians 7:15. If a believer's mate is sexually immoral the believer needs to do Galatians 6:1; 2 Timothy 2: 24-26; Matthew 18:15-16; 1 Corinthians 5:1-11 with Matthew 18:17.

***9 I tell you that whoever #divorces [puts away, departs from, dismisses or sends away] his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9
Think about it. Whoever puts away, departs from, dismisses or sends away his wife HAS DISOBEYED THE KING'S COMMAND TO NOT SEPARATE THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN JOINED BY GOD ( Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9; Romans 7:2,3;1 Corinthians 7:5,11,12,39) and needs to repent of making the separation. There is no permission given here to divorce or separate from one's mate in Jesus' Word. An explanation is given. Jesus explained that if the husband divorces her for immorality, it is not immoral for him to marry another wife. If anyone marries the one divorced for immorality, he commits adultery. Why? Because even though she has been separated/divorced for immorality, she is still maritally bound to her husband according to Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39, except in the case of 1 Corinthians 7:15. If a believer's mate is sexually immoral the believer needs to do Galatians 6:1; 2 Timothy 2: 24-26; Matthew 18:15-16; 1 Corinthians 5:1-11 with Matthew 18:17. No matter how often a believer's wife is immoral, she is still maritally bound to her believing husband as long as they both live. See Romans 7:2,3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39.


The one who divorces his wife for sexual immorality and marries another becomes a polygynist like Abraham, Israel, Gideon and King David because he is still maritally bound to the immoral wife while also married to his new wife. If she repents according to 2 Corinthians 7 she should be restored to the marriage according to 2 Corinthians 2.
 
@elkanahtyler thanks for posting this. Nicely explained and opened new insight at a couple places.

I have a question regarding your thoughts on taking a divorcée. In a perfect world, she would never be put out or abandoned... and, whether or not to take her has been vigorously debated on here.

My thought is 1) I was not sexually pure or moral when I married the woman I've had for 30 years.. nor, was she. We forgave and walked forward having come out of somebad decisions.
2) Messiah Yeshua came for the adulterous and divorced house of Israel (Matth 15:24; Romans 7:1-3; and Rev. 19:7-8 among hu.dress of prophecies) so clearly He can redeem and wash even an adulterous woman, nevermind simply divorced. 3) David kept Batsheva through whom the lineage of Messiah comes, though she was an adulteress (with him).

Therefore, it seems that the man has the authority to act in mercy and redeem the woman, even uf she has an immoral or unclean past. Granted, her first and best option is to return to her first husband, but for many, that ship sailed.. what then?

Curious for your thoughts.
 
PeteR said:
@elkanahtyler thanks for posting this. Nicely explained and opened new insight at a couple places.

I have a question regarding your thoughts on taking a divorcée. In a perfect world, she would never be put out or abandoned... and, whether or not to take her has been vigorously debated on here.

My thought is 1) I was not sexually pure or moral when I married the woman I've had for 30 years.. nor, was she. We forgave and walked forward having come out of somebad decisions.
2) Messiah Yeshua came for the adulterous and divorced house of Israel (Matth 15:24; Romans 7:1-3; and Rev. 19:7-8 among hu.dress of prophecies) so clearly He can redeem and wash even an adulterous woman, nevermind simply divorced. 3) David kept Batsheva through whom the lineage of Messiah comes, though she was an adulteress (with him).

Therefore, it seems that the man has the authority to act in mercy and redeem the woman, even uf she has an immoral or unclean past. Granted, her first and best option is to return to her first husband, but for many, that ship sailed.. what then?

Curious for your thoughts.
Click to expand...

I know this question was directed to @elkanahtyler so please forgive me for hoping in. In all the examples, I can think of, the redemption is always of a widow or a wife that left and is being redeemed by her original husband. Are there examples in Scripture of a righteous man redeeming a woman divorced, or a woman put away by another man? I’m not disagreeing with what you said. I genuinely would like to know, and this is a question I have pondered for some time, but have not solidified my beliefs one way or the other.

God in biblical illustrations redeemed His adulterous wife.

David took back Michal after she was given to another man by her father, but David hadn’t put her away so she was still his wife.

Boaz redeemed Ruth, but she was a widow.

Can anyone else think of other situations in Scripture?
 
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Asforme&myhouse said:
I know this question was directed to @elkanahtyler so please forgive me for hoping in. In all the examples, I can think of, the redemption is always of a widow or a wife that left and is being redeemed by her original husband. Are there examples in Scripture of a righteous man redeeming a woman divorced, or a woman put away by another man? I’m not disagreeing with what you said. I genuinely would like to know, and this is a question I have pondered for some time, but have not solidified my beliefs one way or the other.

God in biblical illustrations redeemed His adulterous wife.

David took back Michal after she was given to another man by her father, but David hadn’t put her away so she was still his wife.

Boaz redeemed Ruth, but she was a widow.

Can anyone else think of other situations in Scripture?
Click to expand...
Hosea and Gomer?

It seems to me that the penalties in the Torah are always maximums that can be reduced. I.e., God chose not to stone David over Bathsheba, but there were consequences. Certainly, God would have been within His legal right to destroy Israel, but chose to redeem according to His promises... the key is her repentance and humility.

To me, that is the same for all of us... both spiritually and physically.

Regarding taking a divorcée, if she can't return, then the merciful thing is, based on her repentance for whatever her part was in the previous failed marriage and her willingness to humbly follow her new head, she can be redeemed by him and his washing of her in the water of the Word.
 
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Dear PETER, ABOUT "Are there examples in Scripture of a righteous man redeeming a woman divorced, or a woman put away by another man?" I understand 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 that if an unsaved man does not want to live with a believing wife and leaves or divorces a saved woman, perhaps leaving her a divorcee, I understand that she is free to divorce the unbeliever and marry a believer. In light of Matt 5:32 and Matthew 19:6-10 I do not believe a believing woman divorced from her believing husband is free in the Lord to marry someone else.

Asforme&myhouse said:
I know this question was directed to @elkanahtyler so please forgive me for hoping in. In all the examples, I can think of, the redemption is always of a widow or a wife that left and is being redeemed by her original husband. Are there examples in Scripture of a righteous man redeeming a woman divorced, or a woman put away by another man? I’m not disagreeing with what you said. I genuinely would like to know, and this is a question I have pondered for some time, but have not solidified my beliefs one way or the other.

God in biblical illustrations redeemed His adulterous wife.

David took back Michal after she was given to another man by her father, but David hadn’t put her away so she was still his wife.

Boaz redeemed Ruth, but she was a widow.

Can anyone else think of other situations in Scripture?
Click to expand...
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
I know this question was directed to @elkanahtyler so please forgive me for hoping in. In all the examples, I can think of, the redemption is always of a widow or a wife that left and is being redeemed by her original husband. Are there examples in Scripture of a righteous man redeeming a woman divorced, or a woman put away by another man? I’m not disagreeing with what you said. I genuinely would like to know, and this is a question I have pondered for some time, but have not solidified my beliefs one way or the other.

God in biblical illustrations redeemed His adulterous wife.

David took back Michal after she was given to another man by her father, but David hadn’t put her away so she was still his wife.

Boaz redeemed Ruth, but she was a widow.

Can anyone else think of other situations in Scripture?
Click to expand...
Dear PETER, ABOUT "Are there examples in Scripture of a righteous man redeeming a woman divorced, or a woman put away by another man?" I understand 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 that if an unsaved man does not want to live with a believing wife and leaves or divorces a saved woman, perhaps leaving her a divorcee, I understand that she is free to divorce the unbeliever and marry a believer. In light of Matt 5:32 and Matthew 19:6-10 I do not believe a believing woman divorced from her believing husband is free in the Lord to marry someone else.
 
Dear Peter you wrote: "Therefore, it seems that the man has the authority to act in mercy and redeem the woman, even uf she has an immoral or unclean past. Granted, her first and best option is to return to her first husband, but for many, that ship sailed.. what then?"
If you mean he died by "that ship sailed" then of course she is free to marry as a widow.
If you mean that the opportunity to return to the husband from whom she was separated,
1. if he is an unbelieving husband and he no longer wants to live married with her (1 Cor 7:13) then I believe she is free to leave him, and if he has separated himself from her (1 Cor 7:15) then she is maritally free from him and free to marry another;
2. if he is a genuinely born again and obedient disciple of Jesus, and she is too, and they were both free in the Lord to marry each other when they married, then she is still maritally bound to him (Romans 7:2,3; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11,39; Matthews 19:6) and is not free to marry anyone else as long as he lives ----- as I understand the scriptures;
3. If they are both genuinely born again disciples of Jesus but he refuses to accept her back in to marriage with him after she had been married to another in adultery (after her repentance 2 Cor 7 and then her return 2 Cor 2) - ----- let me propose a Scriptural response.
It is a sin against 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 for a husband to deny/defraud his wife due sexual relations and affection, after she has repented (forsaking her sin 2 Cor 7 and she seeks reconciliation 2 Cor 7)). That being the case first I would recommend that first you do the three week fasting and praying of Daniel 10:2" In those days, I, Daniel, had been mourning for three entire weeks. 3 I did not eat any tasty food, nor did meat or wine enter my mouth, nor did I use any ointment at all until the entire three weeks were completed." Then I hope you would do Galatian 6:1Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you also won’t be tempted. and 2 Timothy 2:24 The Lord’s slave must not quarrel, but must be gentle to everyone, able to teach, and patient, 25 instructing his opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance leading them to the knowledge of the truth. 26 Then they may come to their senses and escape the Devil’s trap, having been captured by him to do his will." If that has not resulted in repentance on his part resulting in obedience to 1Corintians 7:2-5, then I hope you do the steps Jesus describes in Matthew 18:15-17 with any body of believers you are involved with. If you get up to and complete Matthew 18:17 and he still is not obediently doing 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, then I think you should take Jesus at His word and consider him to be an unbeliever. 1 Corintian 7:13,15 indicate that if the unbeliever makes the separation between himself and you, no longer willing to do 1 Corinthians 7:1-5; Prov 5: 15-20, separating himself from you maritally, then I would consider it to be a 1 Corinthian 7:15 situation where you are maritally free from the disobedient and separated unbelieving husband and are free to marry another believer.. Deliberate disobedience is disbelief and unbelief. Just my thoughts I hope they are of some value to you.
 
elkanahtyler said:
Dear Peter you wrote: "Therefore, it seems that the man has the authority to act in mercy and redeem the woman, even uf she has an immoral or unclean past. Granted, her first and best option is to return to her first husband, but for many, that ship sailed.. what then?"
...
Deliberate disobedience is disbelief and unbelief. Just my thoughts I hope they are of some value to you.
Click to expand...

If he wants to marry her but a past him is getting in the way and refuses to get out of the way, he should consider him an unbeliever and do what he wanted anyway.

Am I understanding this correctly?

Let's take a controversial subject on here: wifely intimacy w each other. Most have very strong feelings on the matter, but most agree that it's not an issue of salvation or fellowship, just don't dictate what I do in my house.

Brother Poly has 2 wives. Being of a Catholic background and believing all sex should at least risk pregnancy, certain acts between him and his wives are forbidden along w his wives being intimate.

Brother Bi disagrees but has no wives.

Brother Poly finds his wives in bed together. He divorces them both for sexual immorality.

Brother Bi meets Brother Poly's wives. He feel apalled that such is the case. He wouldn't have done that to them. As such he is inclined to marry them both.

Quandry:
Brother Poly believes his wives are lawfully and irrevocably divorced for Biblical reasons.

Brother Bi believes they were divorced unBiblically.

Brother Poly refuses to be entreated w and tells Brother Bi to marry them himself as Brother Poly will not be reconciled to adulteresses.

If Brother Bi marries them as Brother Poly has cleared it, isn't Brother Bi guilty of adultery as Brother Poly charged them w?

Should Brother Bi consider Brother Poly a non-believer when both are fully convinced in their own mind of their beliefs and standing w God?

Now enter Brother Mono. He agrees w Brother Poly that such was immoral behavior. He eschews polygyny because of that temptation. Thus he agrees to marry one of the wives who he believes is lawfully divorced partially to preclude her from getting into another situation as before w the same sisterwife. Thus believing them divorced, he has no qualms about adultery w them or their status w Brother Poly as both are agreed on the situation.

Brother Poly might, at this point, agree to reconcile w the remaining wife or not.

But what a pickle for Brother Bi.
 
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