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Why Are 42% Of Black Successful Women Single?

The truth of plural is Scriptural to all. The perceived lack of available men is just not true when the concept of plural is added in.
 
I get what Welltan is saying, but the biggest problem for the women in the video was that they wanted exclusivity. The color of their skin may not keep them from our board, but that requirement kind of does.
 
I also didn't note any reference at all to the statistics on something else that would probably matter far more to most here than would skin color - which is 'do they follow Him?'

Obviously the video didn't provide those numbers, or even indicate whether any of the women considered such covering important. I contend that there will come a time, of course (Isaiah 4:1 for any newcomers, in other words) when it will matter a great deal. Meanwhile, I still suspect that the ratio of women to men would probably be still further skewed by the faith criterion.
 
They automatically eliminated men who had not graduated from high school but they failed to eliminate gay men. Isn't that interesting? And for the one woman to require that her hubby make as much as she does and she makes over 100K annually is going to shrink her odds of success. And the fact that they won't "settle". I don't call it settling. What if they were to let go of that one requirement and find the man of their dreams right there all along. Stupidity if you ask me.

SweetLissa
 
cuz they have not yet met STEVE...i am telling you i can solve that problem for 2 or 3 black women who are single..i much prefer dark skinned women...sadly i am single..
 
I didn't notice this thread until now.

As a woman of color, I can tell you that Lissa is right on about what she said. Growing up, in the black culture, I was taught to not trust men and to be completely self sufficient. I was driven to succeed b/c I was taught to never rely on a man for anything, and to always have a stash of emergency money hidden away from my husband, in case he ever did anything bad to me. I was not taught how to respect or submit to a man. I was taught that we have equal roles and that it's OK to fight to have my way. I didn't want to answer to anyone but myself.

The things I was taught are a set up for marriage failure. I was turned off by marriage b/c of the negative picture that was painted for me. I was a single, and independent, power woman. I was practicing feminism at it's finest. Thank God my husband had patience with me while I unlearned a lot of these bad behaviors. Many of these women don't get married b/c they drive the men away. Unless the guy is up to the challenge and willing to put up a good fight most of the time, a relationship with a success driven, feminist type of woman, will not survive. It's exhausting and discouraging. So, these black women remain single b/c they were taught the wrong things by other misinformed or bitter women.

This behavior occurs in many other cultures and races. But it is very prevalent in the black culture.
 
wifeone said:
I didn't notice this thread until now.

As a woman of color, I can tell you that Lissa is right on about what she said. Growing up, in the black culture, I was taught to not trust men and to be completely self sufficient. I was driven to succeed b/c I was taught to never rely on a man for anything, and to always have a stash of emergency money hidden away from my husband, in case he ever did anything bad to me. I was not taught how to respect or submit to a man. I was taught that we have equal roles and that it's OK to fight to have my way. I didn't want to answer to anyone but myself.

The things I was taught are a set up for marriage failure. I was turned off by marriage b/c of the negative picture that was painted for me. I was a single, and independent, power woman. I was practicing feminism at it's finest. Thank God my husband had patience with me while I unlearned a lot of these bad behaviors. Many of these women don't get married b/c they drive the men away. Unless the guy is up to the challenge and willing to put up a good fight most of the time, a relationship with a success driven, feminist type of woman, will not survive. It's exhausting and discouraging. So, these black women remain single b/c they were taught the wrong things by other misinformed or bitter women.

This behavior occurs in many other cultures and races. But it is very prevalent in the black culture.
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Wow, gosh, how on earth did you cope?
:eek:
 
There is another startling statistic that many may not be aware of that directly relates to this discussion.

I noticed in the video that 70% of the professional black women were not married.

I find that to be a very interesting statistic because when it comes to divorce, the divorce rate is 70% for marriages where the woman makes more than her husband regardless of color.

Maybe these professional black women subconsciously realize this and therefore set the bar high enough so that when/if they do find someone there is at least a 50% chance their marriage will survive long term.
 
Hello all...

Although I haven't even posted an introduction, I had to make a comment on this thread. I am a Black woman and wasn't raised into believing that all men were the problem with the world. I am divorced, from an interracial marriage, but it is VERY uncommon in my family. The men that are in my family are caring, educated, professional men who care deeply for their families.

I was expected to receive an education period. There was never any question or thought otherwise. I am now completing a second masters and am trilingual. I believe that there has been a failing in the Black community and a generation, mine, that is lost. Men are not being held to a standard and women are either choosing to put up with it or making their own way. I don't agree with the "attitude" but can understand it.

What was failed to be mentioned is that the majority of black women don't consider marriage outside of their race while black men do.

That attitude, along with many others, is changing.
 
"Men are not being held to a standard and women are either choosing to put up with it or making their own way."

I think you will find that most here (men and women) feel the same way...but about men in general. From what I have seen here there is a deep concern that men are not being taught how to be good husbands and fathers, and the marriages that do survive do so for the most part from an unwillingness to divorce, not a willingness to learn and change.

I think you will be a very welcome addition here from what I've seen in you from just this one post. I think you will be a valuable asset around here.
 
well my wife considered it..an her family are ok with it. But she is not really african american as much as african( from Kenya) and attitudes about race and many other things are different there. I think that plural marriage is a great solution for many black women married to black or white men. I have been a little concerned that my wife may feel awkward at meetings and gatherings as the only black person there though.
 
Scarecrow said:
From what I have seen here there is a deep concern that men are not being taught how to be good husbands and fathers, and the marriages that do survive do so for the most part from an unwillingness to divorce, not a willingness to learn and change.
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I am not comfortable with communicating in this manner, posts etc, but these comments, as do a host of similar negative generalisations about black men do grieve my heart.
Therefore, as a black man of West African origin, I must speak up for myself and on behalf of others like myself to simply say that there are black men out here who know do how to be and, for the most part have been, and are being good husbands and fathers. And this, not because it earns them praise or lands them that ideal woman, but rather because that is how they know to live.
I wonder what your thoughts will be if I said I have been divorced TWICE!
 
First of all it seems that you took my comment to be about black men...if that is the case you misread my statement. My comment was about men in general in our society, and the vast majority of them I know are white simply because of the area I live in. My statement is true, but not for everyone as my statement implies. I have a number of black friends and business associates and I am not sure if my comments would apply more to them or the other people I know...I had never thought of it actually.

My father had an alcoholic for a father that was either working or never home. My father followed in his footsteps but is what is called a "dry alcoholic" and a workaholic - didn't see much of him. Those were the role models I had to go by when I began raising my children. I admit there are things I wish I could do over again because I began to walk in their footsteps myself. I have also noticed that a number of my friends complain about things their parents did, then I see them act toward their kids in like manner. So you see the criticism I brought applies to my family as much as others I am exposed to, and our disconnected society only exacerbates the problem. Now we have TV sets, laptops, and cell phones to raise our children...I'm surprised most parents even remember the names of their kids. I know most of them don't even know the names of their neighbors.

So.....I stand by my comments because sadly they ring true.

.
 
Going back to the source material the implication is, black women are doing a heck of a lot better than black men (socially and financially) and because of this they are less likely to find a husband who are on a similar social financial par with them. Of course that is the text of the piece, the subtext is, black men are less ambitions and more likely to be unstable and fickle partners, what on earth is a successful black woman to do except a) Be single or b) Marry a non-black man? Now it is something that I noticed and it might be something that 142 was reacting against, we can all be defensive when we feel we are judged by association.

I was concerned that instead of thinking of ways that black men can be empowered and 'brought up' there was a lot of emphasis on how black women should be 'brought down' either financially or in the 'they are too independant and don't know their place' sort of attitude, which I find irritating. I commend Scarecrow for noticing that the main problem is a vast swath of aimless men (not any ethnicity in particular) that has narrowed the marriage field, not a problem with black women not wanting a relationship on their own level, let it be said that most successful women want to marry a successful man, people tend to marry someone who they have something in common with and also partnerships are more successful when people are of a similar socio-economic background. A Princess won't marry a pauper and no King would want his daughter to lower herself so, so all this judgement against the women themselves are misplaced.

B
 
blitziod said:
I have been a little concerned that my wife may feel awkward at meetings and gatherings as the only black person there though.
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I am sure I am preaching to the choir here, but if you are talking about Christian meetings I believe that it is very very important that we go out of our way to make the uncomfortable comfortable. The reason we get together is to encourage one another. Cults are experts at this. Those that have the truth should be no less. No one should leave a truly Christian meeting feeling like they do not belong.
 
142rum8s said:
I am not comfortable with communicating in this manner, posts etc,...
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Someone else already answered you, but I appreciate your comments and I do hope to see more of your posts.
 
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