Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND marry

[DiscussingTheTopic]

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
Mathew 19:9 NIV

1. This passage does not forbid polygamy
A man who marries another woman is NOT said to commit adultery. But a man who divorces his wife AND marries another woman is said to commit adultery.

2. If a man divorces his wife and marries another woman he has committed adultery
A man who divorces his wife and marries another woman is said to commit adultery (with the exception of marital unfaithfulness.) But he is allowed to marry more than one woman, so why is it adultery to marry an extra woman in the case of divorce?

3. It is not directly stated here to be considered adultery if he divorces his wife and does not marry another woman?
If divorce is the same as adultery than why is it not directly stated to be adultery unless the man both divorces his wife and marries another woman?

 

[Paul not the apostle]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

In a nutshell, DTC, the husband is responsible for his wife's actions and her lifelong physical, spiritual, and mental health. As an example, Eve sinned before Adam, but the sin is attributed to Adam. He is responsible as the head of the family, as the covering for her before Yah. This first covenant between man and wife is the only argument needed (should be the only argument needed) to negate any type of femi-nazi equality of the sexes*.

The husband putting away his wife for no lawful cause (Diving Law, not civil or legal) bears the burden of her soon to be adultery. This verse assumes that she will go and "remarry" or find another man to be with. She is then "adulterous" because in the Divine Law she is still in covenant with her true husband. However, the sin is laid (or also laid) on the man that sent her away unjustly and sinfully. Her true husband forces her to be an adulterous woman due to unlawfully putting her away. This is especially aggravated by the point you made that the All-Wise Lawgiver specifically allows for the man to marry the second that he chooses as long as he KEEPS the current and provides without dimishing the pattern and standard of living (general term).

The beauty of Divine Law in this case is that the man is prevented from excusing himself in his unlawful putting away by the knowledge that he is responsible for the woman for her entire life on earth, and cannot get away with casting her aside without fear of severe punishment. Notice also that the wife that is guilty of some uncleaness AND is put away by her husband, ceases to be his wife, the covenant already broken by the woman and releasing the husband of the responsibilities of covenant (marriage) and is free from any penalties, he is guiltless.

*equality meaning for the same tasks and purposes, and having the same responsibilites and callings.

 

[DiscussingTheTopic]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Thank you for the answer

How come it does not say if he divorces another woman it is adultery?

It is the combination of divorce and marrying another woman that is listed as adultery.

What does him marrying a second woman have to do with the whole deal?

 

[sweetlissa]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

According to my understanding it is not the man who commits adultery unless he has sex with a woman who is married to someone else. If a woman is divorced and remarries than the implication is that she commits adultery, unless the divorce is for a scriptural reason. (this is a hot topic on this forum). If a man is married and has sex outside of his marriage, it is fornication.

It gets very confusing and there are many different opinions of what the scriptures actually say and mean.

I do not believe that people are "married" just because they have sex together. Some people believe that but I personally believe there must be a covenant. Just imagine the conversation "Hey there, remember me? Prom night, 1980? Well it turns out we are married? You married someone else? Oh, that is okay. Biblical marriage is okay with me, but I am the first wife."

There would be some shocked people out there.

SweetLissa

 

[Paul not the apostle]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

How come it does not say if he divorces another woman it is adultery?

Because divorce by itself is not adultery, it takes a physical or blatant mental fornication outside of the marriage covenant to qualify as adultery. Unlawful divorce is sin, and is a different sin than adultery.

Yes, the man does not commit the actual physical act, but because he FORCES his wife to do this, it is resting on his shoulders. If the man had divorced his wife unlawfully and he had not married, and she still goes to another, he would still be guilty because the husband is responsible for the actions of the woman, just like in the Garden with the first Adam. The reason that the Sent One said "divorce and marry another" was because he was repeating and addressing the question that was presented by the pharisees, who were wanting him to agree with their divorce for any cause teachings. He was being completely clear with them that their question, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?" completely missed the point of Divine Law. They traded their wives, seeing the certificate as their own protection against the Law and against any claim of adultery by saying that the certificate was the divorce, instead of the certificates TRUE reason which is to protect the woman, just like your insurance card or diploma. It is for the protection and certification of the BEARER or HOLDER. (Woman, you are still married! No I am not, see my proof right here, now put the stone down and if you have any questions, go talk to the man that wrote this.)

What does him marrying a second woman have to do with the whole deal?

The marrying of a second does not have any bearing other than being included because of the original question posed by the Pharisees. They were really asking about divorce and remarriage because they wanted to be told that they could keep doing what they were doing with their wives. At the time, they traded wives and used the certificate of divorce as their justification for marrying a woman and then putting her awat for the next desire. They did not want to maintain the women that they married according to Divine Law, so they used the certificate. Because the man CREATED the adultery in the woman by FORCING her to another man by UNLAWFULLY putting her away, He BROKE covenant with her, and the man is therefore the REASON and CREATOR and ORIGINATOR of the sin, and is RESPONSIBLE to Him for the woman's defilement.

 

[DiscussingTheTopic]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Is a Christian man ever allowed to marry a divorced woman under any circumstance (other than her husband dying after the divorce?)

Are Christian women ever allowed to marry a divorced man?

 

[Mark C]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
Mathew 19:9 NIV

This is simply a VERY bad translation -- for a number of reasons.

Paul has already addressed the errors here in part, DTT.

"Divorce" is a bad rendering, because the word is NOT equivalent to the original Hebrew (which the Savior quoted and used) or even the Greek. (This has been discussed repeatedly on the forums here, including even recently.) Until one understands the critical distinction between "putting away" (which -- done in accord with Scripture, specifically Deuteronomy 24:1 and 3, generally should include giving her a 'certificate of divorce' and 'putting it in her hand').

When a man "puts away" a wife unjustly (improperly) then he is STILL RESPONSIBLE for HER! ("He bears her guilt" for broken vows, as Numbers 30:15 et al describes. This is the point that Yahushua makes several times, most clearly in Matthew 5:32 when it is correctly translated!)

[Note as well that if she is ALREADY an adultress, then a 'certificate of divorce' MAY be considered a 'moot point'; he does not CAUSE HER to commit adultery, because she already has. This is the 'exception clause', properly understood. It is NOT the "ONLY" justification; note that those who are not "hard hearted" will simply forgive anyway, of course, and do as Paul correctly teaches...which is to never put away (much less divorce, of course) ANY wife. After all, "if you do not forgive, neither will your Father forgive you!"]

Read and study Numbers chapter 30 first. The correct understanding of vows, and covering, and responsibility for BREAKING of vows is there -- and everything else hinges on that. (This includes, of course, the key issues in Genesis 3, like verses 7, 16, and 17!) Then read Deuteronomy 24:1 (which is repeated almost WORD FOR WORD in verse 3!) The process is clear, unambiguous, and -- again -- repeated! And it says that, once properly "put away" (shalach or 'sent away' from the Hebrew) "she may go and be another man's [wife]". There should be no argument on what verse 2 means.

Then the discussion of Matthew 5:32 -- when correctly translated (check it!) -- will make sense. A husband who "deals treacherously" (to quote other well-known references) with his wife is HELD RESPONSIBLE for any subsequent adultery that HE CAUSES by HIS failure!

An ex-wife with a Scripturally-proper "divorce" (note the intended very specific use of that word, meaning including a 'certificate') thus "has no living husband". The "get" or certificate is the written WITNESS of her former husband that she is available for remarriage. (Note that there are now TWO witnesses to her ability to remarry.)

There is MUCH more which could be said; indeed, our Savior taught at length on the topic. But the key thing to note is that He did not change "one yod or tiddle" of His Word (not the 'smallest part', even). And it is utterly consistent. If the translations, or the "traditions of men", seem contradictory - it is THEIR fault, not His Word as Written!


====================

PS> And I'm not trying to address the "marries another" issue at this point, since that is a "whole 'nuther issue" associated with things Yahushua was addressing. Suffice it to say that it relates to Exodus 21:10 and the fact that men then -- AS NOW -- were "putting away" wives treacherously, often to "swap 'em out for a newer model" rather than honor their existing Covenant! The "basics" must be understood first.

 

[seekHim1]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Is a Christian man ever allowed to marry a divorced woman under any circumstance (other than her husband dying after the divorce?)

Are Christian women ever allowed to marry a divorced man?

I used to believe that it was never OK for any divorced person to remarry, but I now see I was mistaken based on various verses in the Bible. Mark 10:11 and 12 says, "So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” I think these verses imply the fault falls on whoever does the divorcing, but the one being divorced is free to remarry. My interpretation is that whoever divorces and remarries, that is the person who is guilty of committing adultery. If a woman is put away by her husband, why should she have to remain single the rest of her life especially when it is God's order for a man to provide for and protect a woman? I think that a woman in that case is free to remarry.

I think 1 Corinthians 7 goes along with this concept too. "A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband." Paul says it is God's command that a wife should not depart from her husband, BUT if she does, she should NOT remarry. And verse 15 says,"But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases." Under bondage to what? In my opinion, a brother or sister is not in bondage to being under the law of not being able to remarry while the spouse is still living (Romans 7:2). With that concept, I think the same would apply to a divorced Christian man. If his wife was the one who put him away (so to speak) and marries another, she should be classified as an unbeliever. Does that sound harsh? As a woman, I just can't find in the Bible where it's ever OK for a woman to divorce a husband and Paul said she should NOT depart, but if she does, she should definitely not be marrying again while the husband is living based on Romans 7:2.

Now all that being said, I think even if a person does initiate a divorce and remarries, it is not this unpardonable sin.

Just my thoughts.

 

[DiscussingTheTopic]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

I know I am breaking off a little from my original post.

But if a husband beats his wife. Can the wife divorce him and remarry someone else or is that a sin?

Can anyone show an answer based on scripture?

 

[Mark C]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

[fill in any cause here...] Can the wife divorce him and remarry someone else or is that a sin?

Can anyone show an answer based on scripture?

There are two VERY separate issues here, one Scriptural (which incorporates everything else, of course) and the other STRICTLY 'secular'.

1) There is simply NO case in Scripture where a wife is given authority to "divorce" her covering.

And note that Numbers 30 specifically gives a husband the authority to cast down such a 'vow' to undermine their Covenant before Him, "on the day that he hears it".

(Even that term divorce is replete with issues, as has been discussed on BF repeatedly; we'll leave that alone for now. Suffice it to say that "divorce" is NOT equivalent to "put away" or even just simply "to leave". See Deuteronomy 24:1-3 for the explicit CONVERSE.)

That said, NO one is commanded to commit suicide or the logical equivalent. (See Deuteronomy 30, for one of many examples. We are to "choose life". That may mean leaving a situation which otherwise would be choosing to die. Note, of course, that Exodus 21:11 is about a situation where she has essentially ALREADY been abandoned.)

See Paul's correct teaching of the Torah commandments in I Cor. 7 (esp around verse 10, etc.) A wife is not to "depart" (abandon) her husband. But if she DOES, she may not remarry.

But hang on. What follows applies to most situations in "modern Amerika":

2) A secular understanding.

Note (Numbers 30) that we are commanded to HONOR our contracts. That includes EVEN those that we should NOT have made!!!!! (I include "licenses before Caesar" near the top of that list -- even those most people have done so.)

If there is a FAILURE to deal properly with contracts or covenants, the husband "bears her guilt". (Num. 30:15) That includes, of course, even "causing her" to commit adultery! (Matthew 5:32 and many others teach this often-misunderstood aspect. Read them very carefully.)

When a marriage contract, created by Caesar (government), licensed by Caesar, before Caesar's delegated authority (501c(3) 'minister', justice of the peace, or other so-called 'representative of the State') is DISSOLVED, it is done so in Caesar's courts, according to Caesar's rules.

While a wife is not to "divorce" her husband according to the Scripture of our Creator, the 'prince of this world' could care less. An ex-wife who has a "divorce certificate" granted by Caesar, in his courts, to destroy something that Caesar created, is "divorced".

Note that the "certificate" meets the explicit requirements of Deuteronomy 24, verses one and three, and verse two tells the important story. Such a woman "has no living husband", and may remarry, "only, in Him".

What YHVH ('God', in most translations) has joined, let not man separate. But what Caesar (man's governments) has joined, Caesar can -- and will -- dissolve and destroy.

Do not confuse the two situations. But DO understand what the rules of contract -- both God's, and even man's -- clearly say. Those who seek to obey our Creator are to honor them both.

 

[DiscussingTheTopic]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

So are you saying

If a woman marries the wrong man who beats her and runs away not to die......

She can never ever marry another man? (Until her husband is dead)

 

[staylor]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

yes scripture says that such a woman can never remarry while her husband is still alive WITHOUT committing adultery. so if a woman with a living husband remarries under any circumstances, she is an adulteress and the man who marries her is an adulterer. remarriage causes the adultery, not the divorce or putting away. if he dies, only then is she free to remarry without committing adultery.

mark, you are wrong here, there is only one word for divorce or put away. in hebrew, it is shalach. in greek, it is apolou. translate it as either putting away or divorcing and it is the very same thing. marriage is always ordained by god never by man.

 

[Mark C]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

mark, you are wrong here, there is only one word for divorce or put away. in hebrew, it is shalach.

Sorry, staylor, but read Deuteronomy 24:1-3 carefully. There is NO word in ancient Hebrew for the English equivalent of "divorce".* The word shalach does mean to 'put away', or 'send away'. What the Scripture makes clear (and Yahushua reiterates specifically) is that a man who only "puts away" a wife WITHOUT following His commandment and ALSO giving her a "certificate of divorce" thus causes her to commit adultery (in a later sexual relationship).**

If "putting away" was exactly equivalent to "divorce" then God would have been silly to specify differently. Since He chose to make it very clear that the process He mandated is more than to merely send her out of the house -- and to repeat that process TWICE in succession, virtually word-for-word -- I will suggest that He knows what He is saying.

Marriage IS in fact ordained by YHVH, and not man.


Blessings,
Mark


--------------------------------
* And the KJV version of Matthew 5:32 is WRONG, since the final term "divorced" should say "her that is put away", as the same word is properly translated elsewhere in the very same verse.


* The "exception clause" of Matthew 5:32 is obvious, properly understood. An adultress is already guilty of sexual sin. Everything that Yahushua taught on the subject is precisely consistent with what is Written, as must be expected.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

@DTT,
Another possible solution is that the abused woman's husband and/or brothers takes the abusive husband out behind the barn and whips the crap out of him and he becomes a model citizen and loving husband. Problem solved. For extreme conditions, have you seen the movie "The Burning Bed"? I'm not kidding as much as it may seem. In ancient times there was severe recourse for violent abuse, not like today.

 

[staylor]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Sorry, staylor, but read Deuteronomy 24:1-3 carefully. There is NO word in ancient Hebrew for the English equivalent of "divorce".* The word shalach does mean to 'put away', or 'send away'.

okay so we shall translate the hebrew word shalach exclusively as "put away", avoiding any word games later on. shalach and apolou mean to "put away" the wife.

What the Scripture makes clear (and Yahushua reiterates specifically) is that a man who only "puts away" a wife WITHOUT following His commandment and ALSO giving her a "certificate of divorce" thus causes her to commit adultery (in a later sexual relationship).**

now you are adding to god's word, a serious offense indeed. please provide chapter and verse where scripture says ONLY puts away a wife WITHOUT ALSO giving her a certificate of divorce. mt 5 says no such thing and neither does mt. 19.

If "putting away" was exactly equivalent to "divorce" then God would have been silly to specify differently.

wait a minute, you have already admitted that shalach does not mean divorce. what hebrew word are you referring to when you say "divorce"? one english tanslation will translate shalach as "divorce" and another will translate it as "put away". but you can't hve it both ways just because you use two different english terms. there is only one concept of marital separation in scripture and in hebrew, it is shalach. in greek, it is apolou.



Marriage IS in fact ordained by YHVH, and not man.


Blessings,
Mark


--------------------------------
* And the KJV version of Matthew 5:32 is WRONG, since the final term "divorced" should say "her that is put away", as the same word is properly translated elsewhere in the very same verse.


* The "exception clause" of Matthew 5:32 is obvious, properly understood. An adultress is already guilty of sexual sin. Everything that Yahushua taught on the subject is precisely consistent with what is Written, as must be expected.[/quote]

 

[Mark C]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Please re-read the post above carefully, staylor.

Again:

There is NO word in ancient Hebrew for the English equivalent of "divorce".

It is not "adding to" the word to attempt to explain distinctions that are important, and should be clear. ESPECIALLY when the problem is language itself. (Most translations literally butcher the meaning of Matthew 19:9, for example.)

Start by understanding, again, that the American concept of the word "divorce" is NOT equivalent to any single word in the Bible, and that there is a difference between "putting away" a wife and performing the entire process described in Deuteronomy 24:1, reiterated in verse 3, and referenced repeatedly by the Savior.

When He explained it, even to those who were explicitly trying to entrap Him, understand that He was not "adding to" His own Word, but was teaching it "with Authority".

To claim that two things which are NOT identical (like "putting away" and "divorce", for example) somehow are the same comes closer to being "a serious offense indeed" than trying to explain the differences between different concepts in differing languages.

Until you recognize what it means that a woman could be "put away" without being what you think of as "divorced", you will not understand the rest.

 

[Tlaloc]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Another possible solution is that the abused woman's father and/or brothers takes the abusive husband out behind the barn and whips the crap out of him and he becomes a model citizen and loving husband.

I assume thats what you meant John?

This is a really dang good point. I've been thinking of things related to 'community justice' lately thats to a thread at http://cv.11.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=3274 and it occurs to me thanks to you that if we had real community and a little bit of freedom we wouldn't have the abuse problems we have now. My wife rolled her eyes when she read this and said something along the lines of 'but now the police would protect the abuser', she has a point.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Yes, that is what I meant. I actually know of a couple of cases where that happened. Nothing like a little fear of authority to make the abuser take notice. Unfortunately, your wife is right, criminals have more rights today than do victims.

 

[staylor]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Please re-read the post above carefully, staylor.

Again:

There is NO word in ancient Hebrew for the English equivalent of "divorce".

It is not "adding to" the word to attempt to explain distinctions that are important, and should be clear. ESPECIALLY when the problem is language itself. (Most translations literally butcher the meaning of Matthew 19:9, for example.)

there isn't any distinction is the hebrew or greek. it says shalach and apolou and they are the same word with the same meaning in two different languages. i'm not disagreeing that there is no word in hebrew or greek for our english word divorce. the truth is that divorce as we use the term is NOWHERE in scripture. it is only ever "put away". the word divorce is simply a SINGLE word for the process, as opposed to TWO words "put away" which better conveys the same concept. but there is only ONE concept of marital separation in the bible, and only one word used to define it. shalach in hebrew and apalou in greek. there is no problem understanding this unless you try to back-translate our idea of "divorce" into the scriptures.

your argument goes somethng like this. there is no word for "adultery" in scripture. there is only na'aph in hebrew and moichao in greek. these words mean woman who breaks wedlock, which is different than our idea of adultery. therefore there is no word in scripture for the english concept of adultery. yet somehow we must invent a distinction between adultery #1 and adultery #2 even though it there is only one word for adultery in scripture. any extra-biblical ideas must not be allowed to define or influence what the bible text actually says.

there is a difference between "putting away" a wife and performing the entire process described in Deuteronomy 24:1, reiterated in verse 3, and referenced repeatedly by the Savior.

poppycock. you want there to be a difference so you create it out of thin air. show me the exact hebrew or greek words that distinguish between these two terms. jesus used ONE word nd he used it each time he spoke of marital separation. that's why i specifically asked for chapter and verse. you cannot provide it because it does not exist. deut. 24 says "shalach" which you admit means "put away". there is no word in hebrew or greek for ANOTHER kind of "put away". there is only "put away" (or "divorce" in some translations).

To claim that two things which are NOT identical (like "putting away" and "divorce", for example) somehow are the same comes closer to being "a serious offense indeed" than trying to explain the differences between different concepts in differing languages.

excapt you have not been able to find a single word anywhere in hebrew or greek to support your distinction. divorce is not in scripture, so how can you make a distinction between something IN scripture and something NOT IN scripture from WITHN scripture?

Until you recognize what it means that a woman could be "put away" without being what you think of as "divorced", you will not understand the rest.

what i think of as "divorced" in nowhere to be found in scripture, so your statement makes nosense. i see "shalach" and "apolou". i don't need to put my own ideas of modern-day divorce into what i'm reading. shalach is identical to shalach. shalach is identical to apolou. shalach is identical to put away/divorce. when the translators translate the word shalach into english, they find the nearest word to be divorce. if a phrase is used rather than one word, it is often translated as put away.

when i read my bible in french, i still find the same familiar terms which come from the same original greek words.

"Eh bien, moi, je vous dis: Celui qui divorce d'avec sa femme --- sauf en cas d'immoralité sexuelle --- l'expose à devenir adultère, et celui qui épouse une femme divorcée commet lui-même un adultère."

"Aussi, je vous déclare que celui qui divorce et se remarie, commet un adultère --- sauf en cas d'immoralité sexuelle."

when translating the greek word apolou into english, it is most correctly translted as divorce because the whole point of a translation is to take a concept from one language and translate it into a similar concept in another language so the audience can understand it. so what if "divorce" is not the most accurte translation. "adultery" is not the most accurate translation of na'aph or moichao, but we get the idea. i could argue that shalach and apolou is BIBLICAL divorce, often referred to as putting away, and there is NO OTHER form of divorce/putting away in scripture. the only form of divorce or putting away in scripture is the same form used exclusively throughout scripture.

you can run this in circles all you want, but the original text simply does not support your ideas of two FORMS of "divorce" or "putting way" in scripture. the same word is used in every passage, every time.

it is this same word "shalach" or "apolou" that jesus said results in adultery when followed by remarriage, which is what i've been saying all along.

 

[steve]

Re: Why is it adultery for a man to divorce his wife AND mar

Another possible solution is that the abused woman's father and/or brothers takes the abusive husband out behind the barn and whips the crap out of him and he becomes a model citizen and loving husband.

this point is almost always left out of the discussion of the woman's rights and protection
something that i read somewhere in jewish literature is that the woman (or her father/brothers) can take the case before the elders and if they are in agreement with her they can put pressure on the husband and require him to legally divorce her. thus she CAN obtain a divorce w/out divorcing him (and without violating the Law).
sorry that i cannot remember where i read it, in my naivety at the time it looked so obvious and reasonable that i did not take special note of it.