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Divorce the State and use Ketubah

Immaheadout

Immaheadout

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Anybody go through with a legal “Divorce” to remove the State from your marriage, and then turn around and use a more biblical covenant?

Thoughts?

It’s always bothered me having the state party to my marriage but as a younger man, saw no way around it.
 
Start political movement to remove state influence on family. Ckaim that nobidy should get any privilege from state.

Hopefully first fruits will arrive in next decade.
 
We never included the state in ours. It was interesting some 23 years ago to hear a baal (state) authorized minister tell us we were just shacked up. He was preparing to marry hubby's sisters in a double wedding. They are still married....so are we. It is a heart matter more then a legal one....this thing we call marriage.
The man that stood up there when we said our vows recently did the same for our son and his bride. He told all guests and witnesses that God ordained marriage and it is His institution. There was no "by the power vested in me by the state" spoken there. No monogamy only vows either. Our son has no plans to ever seek a second, but did not want to limit himself when he knew better and does not know what Yah might purpose for his life.
 
Joleneakamama said:
No monogamy only vows either. He has no plans to ever seek a second, but did not want to limit himself when he knew better and does not know what Yah might purpose for his life.
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I did the same. Told my espoused what I wanted her vows to be, and what mine were going to be. Nothing unscriptural in there. So thankful I had either the wisdom or the holy spirit to direct me there.
 
I didn't know any better when my wife and I got married 23 years ago. Knowing what I know now, I would prefer to not have the state involved. My wife is from another country (came here for college and met me), so the legal paperwork was kinda necessary for permanent residency and citizenship issue.
 
I also didn’t know any better and went the normal route.
Act in haste, regret at leisure.

I have definitely considered changing it all, but haven’t pulled that trigger.
 
NickF said:
Anybody go through with a legal “Divorce” to remove the State from your marriage, and then turn around and use a more biblical covenant?

Thoughts?

It’s always bothered me having the state party to my marriage but as a younger man, saw no way around it.
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We looked into it here in New Zealand. But to get a divorce here we have to actually live separately for at least two years and be able to prove that we were no longer together. We obviously aren't prepared to do that so we didn't get one. It is one of those things that we didn't know when we signed the contract. We didn't know what it took to break the contract, and they keep changing the term of it and what the words mean as we go along. Apparently you can 'marry' someone of the same gender for example. That's not what we consider marriage, but we can't get out of a contract we don't agree with and didn't know the full terms on signing.
 
FollowingHim2 said:
We looked into it here in New Zealand. But to get a divorce here we have to actually live separately for at least two years and be able to prove that we were no longer together. We obviously aren't prepared to do that so we didn't get one. It is one of those things that we didn't know when we signed the contract. We didn't know what it took to break the contract, and they keep changing the term of it and what the words mean as we go along. Apparently you can 'marry' someone of the same gender for example. That's not what we consider marriage, but we can't get out of a contract we don't agree with and didn't know the full terms on signing.
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In contrast with New Zealand, my hubby's parents got a legal divorce but she never moved out and they had children born to them after the alleged divorce. Biblically there are three requirementsand one of course is she moves out.

I look at the legal thing in the light of "if free don't seek to be bound, if bound don't seek to be free" God can certainly use your light, witness and experiences for His glory and purpose.
 
I would just be worried what the "divorced" wife will make of it. If she's more of a rational thinker it'll probably work out, but if she's more emotional than I'd be careful. I personally think the state should have zero say in marriage, but then again would it be the states job to prevent 1st cousin marriages or worse?
 
Mc_B said:
I personally think the state should have zero say in marriage, but then again would it be the states job to prevent 1st cousin marriages or worse?
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1st cousin marriages are completely fine. People get grossed out by it, but there is enough difference in DNA at that point for it not to be a problem. It's perfectly legal everywhere as far as I know.
 
Mc_B said:
I would just be worried what the "divorced" wife will make of it. If she's more of a rational thinker it'll probably work out, but if she's more emotional than I'd be careful. I personally think the state should have zero say in marriage, but then again would it be the states job to prevent 1st cousin marriages or worse?
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I agree: state should have zero say in marriages.
 
Mc_B said:
I would just be worried what the "divorced" wife will make of it. If she's more of a rational thinker it'll probably work out, but if she's more emotional than I'd be careful. I personally think the state should have zero say in marriage, but then again would it be the states job to prevent 1st cousin marriages or worse?
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"The state" is really just a construct of man and an idol. It is the people that need to care about their posterity enough to marry someone they can have healthy children with. In this modern world of sperm donors and adopted children, incest could happen accidently.....and sadly still happens where people are not taught to value the truth and God's laws.


Recognizing another authority (another god) just sets society up for the mess we find ourselves in now.

Part of the traditional ceremony is "If anyone knows of a reason why this man and woman should not be joined in holy matrimony (set apart mother making) let him speak now or forever hold his peace.

There is your opportunity to fess up to that "non paternity event" if such a thing happened.

Joke I heard once....gal is dating a guy and her pop says "Um you really need to know that guy might actually be your half brother." So the gal breaks up with him and starts seeing someone else. Her pappy again informs her that the young man could be her half brother. So she goes crying to her ma about this who set her mind at ease and said "Honey, don't worry about that, you can date either of them boys 'cause you ain't no daughter of pappy!"
 
FollowingHim2 said:
1st cousin marriages are completely fine. People get grossed out by it, but there is enough difference in DNA at that point for it not to be a problem. It's perfectly legal everywhere as far as I know.
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It's illegal throughout parts of the US. I would recommend looking into the epidemic of genetic defects affecting Muslims around the world, around 1/3 of all Muslims are participating in 1st cousin marriages and causing major genetic issues within their communities. It's especially bad in the UK
 
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From my understanding, there is no significant increase in the chance of genetic defects for the children of first cousins. The issue arises if the gene pool remains isolated. So if the child of first cousins also married a first cousin, it would begin to cause significant issues. But it is still allowed Biblically. I think fathers and young men looking to marry need to take genetic compatability into consideration, but no general rules should be made beyond what is in Torah.

I dislike the government being involved in marriage, but in our instance the legal process allows for marrying before having reached our state's age of majority. Marriage is between a man, his woman, and Yah. But I don't see anything wrong with utilizing legal procedures.
 
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