I would be curious to know people’s take on the following… Some of you have already heard the story about Chloe which took place about 4 years ago. About six months ago, we thought we had found a potential second wife, but it too fell through. Her name is Elizabeth and we are still on talking terms. After months of talking, a pattern started to emerge that wasn’t good. To preface, she has many good traits in that she has never messed around, modest, a virgin, wants to be a wife and mother badly, is very biblical, fights against abortion, fights for principles of liberty and freedom, attends church, etc. But the pattern I started to see emerge is that she’s stuck more in a childlike mode or mindset. She’s stuck on eating only a few types of foods and very particular on taste so consequently, the only food she will eat is mac & cheese, McDonald’s chicken nuggets, and cheese pizza, but it has to be Domino’s. And of course, all the sugary processed drinks. That’s a big disconnect from everything we eat here which is non-processed, non-GMO, either grown in the garden and Orchard, or livestock that’s been slaughtered and fed a wholesome diet, devoid of chemicals, pesticides, growth hormones, etc.
In addition, with her everything has to be lighthearted, no seriousness or recognizing that a home has to be maintained with discipline for children, work schedules that can be rigorous, ranch chores, including when it’s time to harvest a field and put up hay, it’s time with no excuses. There just seems to be a big disconnect with what’s reality in life. Everything has to be fun, funny, and silly, lighthearted, and as she says “whimsical with no boring adult mentality.“ She also talks about her need to be close to the city and wanting to meat lots of strangers daily with her need for social interaction (because she works at Walmart currently) and that she would feel very lonely up in the mountains on a ranch.
Don’t get me wrong, she has a lot of very good traits as well and is incredibly smart, and we aren’t sticklers around here by any means as we love to do fun things, but there has to be good balance between fun and responsibilities or the realities of life.
I tried for a long time in a very loving and easy going manner to address issues such as constant junk food intake and how both the toxicity and lack of wholesome nutrition would eventually catch up with her. I told her she’s young and that her body is resilient currently, but that she could not expect to have as many children as she wants to have with such a poor diet and not expect complications, major depression, issues with lactation and breast feeding in a way that’s not good or lacking nutrition for a newborn, gestational diabetes, high triglycerides, cancer, and all sorts of other long-term issues.
Even though she claimed she wanted to have a good relationship with my wife Natalie and be her sister wife, she constantly had issues saying that Natalie was serious and boring of which I told her that you need to get to know her better because she has a very fun personality to be around, but that she also has to be a mother and adult wife and that serious times call for a serious mentality sometimes. It’s just the realities of responsibility.
I didn’t feel like I was getting through or that she was giving it serious consideration to take into account the things I needed her to address and work on so I ended the courting process. She seems depressed and says she feels like she’s been abandoned. I feel bad, but I don’t know how to get through to her. I told her those are necessary changes so that our family can function properly and that I wanted her to make those changes because she wants to make them for the betterment in her life of her own free will, that I don’t want her to make those changes just for me or else she would resent being here eventually, which would cause contention in our home.
Where did I go wrong? I know that there will never be anyone perfect who comes along. I certainly don’t have unreasonable expectations for anyone. How could I have done anything differently???
In addition, with her everything has to be lighthearted, no seriousness or recognizing that a home has to be maintained with discipline for children, work schedules that can be rigorous, ranch chores, including when it’s time to harvest a field and put up hay, it’s time with no excuses. There just seems to be a big disconnect with what’s reality in life. Everything has to be fun, funny, and silly, lighthearted, and as she says “whimsical with no boring adult mentality.“ She also talks about her need to be close to the city and wanting to meat lots of strangers daily with her need for social interaction (because she works at Walmart currently) and that she would feel very lonely up in the mountains on a ranch.
Don’t get me wrong, she has a lot of very good traits as well and is incredibly smart, and we aren’t sticklers around here by any means as we love to do fun things, but there has to be good balance between fun and responsibilities or the realities of life.
I tried for a long time in a very loving and easy going manner to address issues such as constant junk food intake and how both the toxicity and lack of wholesome nutrition would eventually catch up with her. I told her she’s young and that her body is resilient currently, but that she could not expect to have as many children as she wants to have with such a poor diet and not expect complications, major depression, issues with lactation and breast feeding in a way that’s not good or lacking nutrition for a newborn, gestational diabetes, high triglycerides, cancer, and all sorts of other long-term issues.
Even though she claimed she wanted to have a good relationship with my wife Natalie and be her sister wife, she constantly had issues saying that Natalie was serious and boring of which I told her that you need to get to know her better because she has a very fun personality to be around, but that she also has to be a mother and adult wife and that serious times call for a serious mentality sometimes. It’s just the realities of responsibility.
I didn’t feel like I was getting through or that she was giving it serious consideration to take into account the things I needed her to address and work on so I ended the courting process. She seems depressed and says she feels like she’s been abandoned. I feel bad, but I don’t know how to get through to her. I told her those are necessary changes so that our family can function properly and that I wanted her to make those changes because she wants to make them for the betterment in her life of her own free will, that I don’t want her to make those changes just for me or else she would resent being here eventually, which would cause contention in our home.
Where did I go wrong? I know that there will never be anyone perfect who comes along. I certainly don’t have unreasonable expectations for anyone. How could I have done anything differently???
