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Support 1st wife doesn't like this current girl because the kids wont look like her. What do i do?

Honor your wedding vows and have self control, be a real man and possess your own loins.

Stop looking with lust at other women.

Pretty simple.
 
Hi, @All Drama, welcome to the forum!

I presume you're of the mind that polygamy is a sin, and you're using lust as an vector to argue that point.

I would encourage you to read thru Gen 20. (I have included it in the quotation box below)

This is where King Abimelech is in the process of adding Abraham's wife Sarah to be an additional wife/concubine along side his current wife (mentioned in v17) Please pay particular attention to verses 5-6 where God tells Abimelech to give Sarah back to Abraham; to which Abimelech pleads that he did not know she was a man's wife, and pled integrity of heart. That "integrity of heart" was as he was in the process of adding Sarah as another wife/concubine beside his current wife (v17) Then note how in v6 that God accepts Abimelech's plea of integrity of heart as being True. It was not "lust" in his heart but integrity; while he was in the process of adding an additional wife/concubine. How does this statement from God interact with your thought processes as to what lust is and how it applies to polygamy?

Also; Recall how that Abraham slept with Hagar while his wife Sarah lived. Please read Gen 26:5 where after Abraham had died, God said this about him "...Abraham obeyed my voice, and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws." How could God say such a thing if polygamy is sin?

It's quite understandable to believe that we're wrong to think that it is OK for a man to have multiple wives. But at the same time, we've spent a great deal of time studying these matters, and it's not some new thing for us, nor something we've lightly researched. Most of us are pleased to discuss these things with anyone, especially fellow believers who are of the mind that polygamy is a sin. So please stick around and discuss with us, and we can address your concerns; our arguments are very sophisticated and well reasoned.

Could you show us from the bible what the definition of lust is, and how that would relate to polygamy, especially in light of Gen 20?

Genesis chapter 20
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1And Abraham journeyed from thence toward the south country, and dwelled between Kadesh and Shur, and sojourned in Gerar. 2And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She [is] my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah. 3But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou [art but] a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she [is] a man's wife. 4But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation? 5Said he not unto me, She [is] my sister? and she, even she herself said, He [is] my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this. 6And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her. 7Now therefore restore the man [his] wife; for he [is] a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore [her] not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that [are] thine.

8Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid. 9Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done. 10And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing? 11And Abraham said, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God [is] not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife's sake. 12And yet indeed [she is] my sister; she [is] the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife. 13And it came to pass, when God caused me to wander from my father's house, that I said unto her, This [is] thy kindness which thou shalt shew unto me; at every place whither we shall come, say of me, He [is] my brother. 14And Abimelech took sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and womenservants, and gave [them] unto Abraham, and restored him Sarah his wife. 15And Abimelech said, Behold, my land [is] before thee: dwell where it pleaseth thee. 16And unto Sarah he said, Behold, I have given thy brother a thousand [pieces] of silver: behold, he [is] to thee a covering of the eyes, unto all that [are] with thee, and with all [other]: thus she was reproved. 17So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare [children]. 18For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.
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eye4them said:
Hi, @All Drama, welcome to the forum!

I presume you're of the mind that polygamy is a sin, and you're using lust as an vector to argue that point.

I would encourage you to read thru Gen 20. (I have included it in the quotation box below)

This is where King Abimelech is in the process of adding Abraham's wife Sarah to be an additional wife/concubine along side his current wife (mentioned in v17) Please pay particular attention to verses 5-6 where God tells Abimelech to give Sarah back to Abraham; to which Abimelech pleads that he did not know she was a man's wife, and pled integrity of heart. That "integrity of heart" was as he was in the process of adding Sarah as another wife/concubine beside his current wife (v17) Then note how in v6 that God accepts Abimelech's plea of integrity of heart as being True. It was not "lust" in his heart but integrity; while he was in the process of adding an additional wife/concubine. How does this statement from God interact with your thought processes as to what lust is and how it applies to polygamy?

Also; Recall how that Abraham slept with Hagar while his wife Sarah lived. Please read Gen 26:5 where after Abraham had died, God said this about him "...Abraham obeyed my voice, and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws." How could God say such a thing if polygamy is sin?

It's quite understandable to believe that we're wrong to think that it is OK for a man to have multiple wives. But at the same time, we've spent a great deal of time studying these matters, and it's not some new thing for us, nor something we've lightly researched. Most of us are pleased to discuss these things with anyone, especially fellow believers who are of the mind that polygamy is a sin. So please stick around and discuss with us, and we can address your concerns; our arguments are very sophisticated and well reasoned.

Could you show us from the bible what the definition of lust is, and how that would relate to polygamy, especially in light of Gen 20?
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I don't know about him but you convinced me! :)
 
All Drama said:
Honor your wedding vows and have self control, be a real man and possess your own loins.

Stop looking with lust at other women.

Pretty simple.
Click to expand...
The word other there makes it sound like you are speaking to married men, and the words pretty simple imply you are married and satisfied with your wife....or are ignorant and think all men are like you.

Paul wrote this in 1 Cor. 7
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

He also talked about people having different gifts, and elsewhere he recommends women without husbands under 60 years old remarry.

There is also a concept taught with food and clothes about meeting the needs of others, not just telling them to be fed and clothed when they lack food and clothes.

Your post seems quite insensitive to women without husbands. Lots of men out there are willing to use women, far too few actually care for them.
Telling the unmarried women and single moms to get on welfare and embrace chastity does NOT provide a husband....

...anymore than the state giving people gross generic food puts it on on par with what YHWH God provides us when we take care of the land and animals and work to supply our own food.

There is nothing else that takes the place of being in a loving, healthy, COMMITED relationship!

So while Paul writes like celibacy is a gift....
Remember that the first man was not happy with that state....and God agreed it was NOT GOOD! Keep in mind too that after YHWH remedied Adam's solitary, alone state.....there was NO single, celibate people in Eden.

You really cannot be FOR marriage and family...and against a man having MORE marriage and family!

Quit being double minded and ground yourself in the word of YHWH.

(Written with my dear husband's littlest daughter snuggled up by me..... )
 
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Joleneakamama said:
The word other there makes it sound like you are speaking to married men, and the words pretty simply imply you are married and satisfied with your wife....or are ignorant and think all men are like you.

Paul wrote this in 1 Cor. 7
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

He also talked about people having different gifts, and elsewhere he recommends women without husbands under 60 years old remarry.

There is also a concept taught with food and clothes about meeting the needs of others, not just telling them to be fed and clothed when they lack food and clothes.

Your post seems quite insensitive to women without husbands. Lots of men out there are willing to use women, far too few actually care for them.
Telling the unmarried women and single moms to get on welfare and embrace chastity does NOT provide a husband....

...anymore than the state giving people gross generic food puts it on on par with what YHWH God provides us when we take care of the land and animals and work to supply our own food.

There is nothing else that takes the place of being in a loving, healthy, COMMITED relationship!

So while Paul writes like celibacy is a gift....
Remember that the first man was not happy with that state....and God agreed it was NOT GOOD! Keep in mind too that after YHWH remedied Adam's solitary, alone state.....there was NO single, celibate people in Eden.

You really cannot be. FOR marriage and family...and against a man having MORE marriage and family!

Quit being double minded and ground yourself in the word of YHWH.

(Written with my dear husband's littlest daughter snuggled up by me..... )
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Amen!
So few recognize the ministry that it can be.
 
Mr.M said:
She had way more of a problem with the 1st girl we courted who did look like her. We had a 2nd wife for a while and they got along but my 1st wife was saying hate to me the whole time. She isn't being hateful to me anymore, but she is in pain and says its worse because this girl wont make kids that look like they could be hers. She tells me she doesn't want me to dump her because she knows i like the girl alot, but my wife is in alot of pain.

Should i submit to her out of fear of Him and dump this girl to lessen my 1st wifes pain? Or is that heeding the voice of my 1st wife and i should just build my family and be happy?
My priority is not sinning, I don't want to deal treachoursly with the wife of my youth. I'm confused if doing this would be sinful/treacherous at all. She says its not but i want to be sure.

Malachi 2
13 And this is the second thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying;
So He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands.
14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.
Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16 “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,”
Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
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Your first wife need to understand Galatians 5, the second section where he discusses the Deeds of the sinful nature and contrasts it with the Fruit of the Spirit. Memorize that chapter, especially the verse that says "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."
 
All Drama said:
Honor your wedding vows and have self control, be a real man and possess your own loins.

Stop looking with lust at other women.

Pretty simple.
Click to expand...
It is good to have new people in here, even those who disagree with us. James Syers has an excellent video breaking down this whole "lust after a woman = adultery" claim. Go watch it!
 
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