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A man's desire for more, a direct reflection of his woman?

R

RemnantResilience

Member
Do good wives actually promote polygyny and marriage? Do bad wives promote cheating and divorce? Do wives not realize that the defense of monogamy by their husbands using marriage complaints, is actually a direct reflection of themselves (the wives) in their marriages? What else could a man complain about in marriage that doesn't relate directly to his wife? These men's experiences in marriage being so poor, not only do they not want another wife, but will actually admonish polygyny and sometimes marriage in general because of their own poor experience (we see this in jest in many pastoral arguments against polygyny). What reputation does that give the wives of men who do this? Do these men not realize not only are the speaking poorly of their wives, but they speak poorly of themselves when they do this?
 
RemnantResilience said:
Do good wives actually promote polygyny and marriage?
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Yes!

This is why I suggested to my now sisterwife that she consider polygyny. The man that is happily married, and feels blessed, is a much smarter choice. He is more likely to succeed at giving a single lady or single mom the stability and love she needs. The other options usually have a history of failed relationships and a habit of moving on when the going got tough.

It's just sad that people are so conditioned against the logical choice....the man who is successful at being married.
 
RemnantResilience said:
Do good wives actually promote polygyny and marriage? Do bad wives promote cheating and divorce? Do wives not realize that the defense of monogamy by their husbands using marriage complaints, is actually a direct reflection of themselves (the wives) in their marriages? What else could a man complain about in marriage that doesn't relate directly to his wife? These men's experiences in marriage being so poor, not only do they not want another wife, but will actually admonish polygyny and sometimes marriage in general because of their own poor experience (we see this in jest in many pastoral arguments against polygyny). What reputation does that give the wives of men who do this? Do these men not realize not only are the speaking poorly of their wives, but they speak poorly of themselves when they do this?
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Great insight. This turns on it's head that irrational emotional assumption that a woman might be tempted to have when her husband seeks a second wife. It's not because she is a bad wife, but exactly the opposite. It's a testimony of his love and appreciation for her that he wants to not only keep her but add to her. And the inverse, your last two sentences...thought-provoking.
 
Emphatically, yes. My wife, who I have been married to for 31 years, is loving and kind. Generous in every way. Submissive, but willing to tell me her problems and concerns, which I value so highly. A heart of gold. More of the same, please!
 
theleastofthese said:
I thought something was wrong with me because I find it attractive when a man has more than one wife.
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I can't tell most people how I feel about my hubby having another. They don't want to know! ....and they'd think I was crazy. It is very validating as Megan said. To have someone else say yes to him was a mite stressful....to have her get to know him....and stick around? That's awesome!
 
Joleneakamama said:
I can't tell most people how I feel about my hubby having another. They don't want to know! ....and they'd think I was crazy. It is very validating as Megan said. To have someone else say yes to him was a mite stressful....to have her get to know him....and stick around? That's awesome!
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I think I know what you mean ;)

It sounds beautiful, i'm glad you have such a wonderful relationship!
 
theleastofthese said:
I thought something was wrong with me because I find it attractive when a man has more than one wife.
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At the risk of sharing too much information I will say this much:

When I decided to seek out this life I met some couples who wanted to be poly and it didn't click for me. Then I met Christie who was the plural to Steve and Shari and where I wanted a poly situation here was a family that was clearly doing it and succeeding at it. They were a proven poly family and not just a couple that was interested in trying it out.

At a much more fundamental level I saw that Steve had children by both Shari and Christie. There was something about knowing he would make me pregnant that appealed to me and got me to get past some of the trauma in my life to take a chance.

I will not presume to speak for all women but I have seen this kind of thing in other families so I know it's not just me.

And I have long observed that while it is sometimes very hard for a couple to attract a second wife it is exponentially easier for them to attract a third wife because any woman looking for a poly family will be naturally attracted to a proven poly family.

Not to mention there's something just plain sexy about a man who has more than one wife and a bunch of kids!
 
MeganC said:
When I decided to seek out this life I met some couples who wanted to be poly and it didn't click for me. Then I met Christie who was the plural to Steve and Shari and where I wanted a poly situation here was a family that was clearly doing it and succeeding at it. They were a proven poly family and not just a couple that was interested in trying it out.
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Were there more wives brought in after you?
 
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