• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

advise needed

Hi John,
Just a thought..
You mentioned being seen as having the heart of David before your present state, but have you thought of David's own situation in the scripture? He fell terribly, yet his heart still turned to his Father. God forgave & healed and he 'continued' to walk with a heart after God.

Be encouraged in the Father's care for you and your's!
 
Yes i have, I have seen many parralells in my life with Davids (just to be clear, i never murdered anyone tho :) )

Matter of fact, they just recovered & indentified the bones of my cousin the other day(long story, wont go into on this thread), who was my friend & brother in every sense of the word. Last week, when i read about how much David loved Jonathan, i wept when I read how David said Jonathan loved him more than women. I didnt realize a week later I would be weeping in the same way, & God brought back the story of them to to my heart & mind.
 
Jumping in again ... I'd like to tell you about the value of teaching your heart to kick back, put it's feet up, and say, "Bring on the popcorn!"

1Cor4:6 says that we (our lives) are a spectacle to men and to angels. Translation: Our lives are like an interesting movie.

What makes a good movie (as opposed to a terminally BORING one?) 2 elements: Conflict throughout, and a good ending. My family won't even go see Marley & Me because they already know it has a bad ending -- the dog dies. And the newpaper doesn't report that you had a pretty good day yesterday, and your neighbor had a pretty good day yesterday. They report that the other neighbor had a terrible fight with his wife and the police were called... Right?

Psalms 34 talks about the movies or episodes of our lives. The angel of the Lord encamps ... etc. Towards the end, vs 19? 25? it says, "Many are the troubles / conflicts / difficulties of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all." Translation: You're gonna have a lifetime full of episodes, but rest assured, they'll have good endings. So they'll be good movies.

Jesus seems to have bought into this concept at the end of John 16 (:33?) when He said something like, "In the world you will have tribulation, but let your heart be at peace 'cause I have overcome the world." We WIN!

So ... what is the appropriate response when about to view a good movie with a good ending? Sit back, put your feet up, pick up a bowl of popcorn (the GOOD kind -- fresh, hot, buttered, with salt, garlic, red pepper, oregano, and parmesan on it!) and enjoy.

I don't mean to suggest that you quit being active and become a couch potato and do nothing of course. Faith without works is dead. It is presumption! I'm speaking specifically to the part of your mind / heart / soul that gets all worked up and worried, lonely, upset, sexually frustrated, fearful, etc.

This is what Jesus meant when He told us not to worry about the morrow, our Father knows what we need. That part of our consciousness is what we can and must teach to kick back, and say, "Hmmm! Another episode! This should be interesting! I wonder what the good ending will be? Bring on the POPCORN!"

The good news is that you can do it at any point in the episode. All you have to do is realize what is going on, and tell your heart, "Bring on the popcorn!" It will understand! Plus, I'm pretty sure it annoys and frustrates the devil, who is the author of confusion and fear -- a nice bonus!

Btw, this might be a good tactic for Brenda to use as well, for it is clear that the devil is aving a heyday messing about with her fears and worries as well!

May God's peace settle safely on the lot of you! :)

Cecil
 
Cecil, I like your "real world analogies", very spot on!

Funny you would mention "movie". Tonya resisted, & I mean all at once & all out of nowhere (wonder who was in charge of that confusion, LOL) going out with me last Saturday. So when she finaly agreed, I said, what do you want to do?, her responce was to go see The Passion of Christ. Of coiurse it wasnt playing anywhere, & she did understand that maybe that would be a littel long & drawn out, & that may be a littel too long of a "date" in Brenda's eyes.

So up to present, what do the kids drop off for us, the DVD, passion of Christ. Brenda & I started to watch it, but it just wasnt meant to be, too tired, long day, etc.

So I emailed Brenda on Thurs (I email her often, especially on things that I want to make precisely clear, & things that she may have to pray on, things I dont want to put her "on the spot" on), & suggested we have Tonya over Fri eve to watch the movie. B's call entirely. No responce all day, no responce that night, no big deal in my eyes, sure wasnt an issue to push by any means. She did ask me if I had stopped by Wal Mart, & that was the only mentioned in that email, so I knew she had read it, but again, it certainly wasnt an issue to push on.

So I get back from my walk Fri morn, Brenda says "i just got around to reading your email (kinda a 1/2 truth, but i accepted it as "REALLY DIGESTING"), she then says...I think that movie is a little violent for Tonyas small children. I explained, thats why tonight would be great, her older daughter is with her this weekend(& could bb-sit), & our grandaughter (5 YO) that is living with us right now is gone, everything would be perfect, Brenda says, OIC, yea, that would be fine...I emailed Tonya, she replied quick very excited to come over, probably to just hang with adults as well as anything else, lol

So Brenda worked in my office Friday, & we have an open email policy between us, when I was out bidding jobs, she took it on herself to catch up on me & T, when I came back she was visably upset. So the movie plans got thwarted, no biggy for me, except I had to cancell with T, she was really dissapointed, Im not a liar, so I just told her I was too busy, which I was, & I made a point to KEEP myself busy till about 9 at night, of course I would have put my business aside for sure.

As far as Brenda, I basically cancelled my afternoon apointments, & took her to lunch & shopping, of course that added to my workload when I got back, so the being busy business was even more true!

As far as what I was looking for personally, #1, I do have this obligation to Tonya, & it would seem alot more "normal" if it was a "known fact" that she comes over once in a while. #2, I had to sing at my cousins funeral the next morning (story about it in prayer requests), & I simply wanted to spend some time with the 2 woman I love, I just needed some strength.

Tonya is a cousin of some kind on the other side of the family to my cousin, so she was there too, the women talked a little, I was busy, but yea, back to the "another episode", there it is!!

In His Love,

John
 
See? BRING ON THE POPCORN! What's next? No telling!
 
John,

Isn't it amazing to see God work in the midst of this situation. I just spent the last little while reading through the entire thread, and I am just warmed in my heart by the fingerprints of God in yours, T's and B's lives.

We make the mess, but God can still bless.

Take it one day at a time, my brother!

Blessings,
 
update, ill try to make it "quick", lot going on.....

(during all the following events, i have been interceeding & praying for tonya, just stuff the Lord was showing me in my heart)

last week sometime i talked in my sleep/1/2 sleep....i heard myself...i siad "i love you tonya", of course brenda HAD to be awake for this & hell broke out. she totaly turned her heart against me & i knew i had to pray, we tried to discuss it, but deep spiritual things arent easily explained by words
i love brenda more everyday, & i am truley learning what love is after all these years, & loving as Jesus does, so in my mind im guessing love is love, growth is growth, i really didnt want to say that in front of brenda, but it came out..
anyhow, i prayed, i wailed, i weeped, i actually went out to the bbq pit & covered my head & face with ashes, the next day i was able to reconcile her heart to me, at least as far as it was before

on thurs (5-14-09) we went out for a nice supper, caught one set of a good dinner band in KC, & headed home..30 miles from the house i had to pick up my car, took this opportunity to call tonya & check on her, of course in my mind, im NOT taking away from brenda & my date night, because i wouldnt have to do it when i got home & we could continue a peaceful & loving eve, but it backfired as she asked if i was on the phone & of course told the truth...

this gets us to friday, talk it out in the morning, life is good again, & im saying, thank you Jesus, can we just have a little peace now?, LOL, no. Friday sometime before lunch I get the impression that sin is at the door for Tonya, it is time to talk to Brenda again, of course I say, this isnt God, cause i always screw this up, we take a ride, i say its time to talk again, she says no, i aint listening, talk tonight.

so at night i tell her, you have seen miricles & wonders but you dont trust me 100%, its time you turn it all over to me, or you will never see how much I love you & never understand all of this, i am saying this exactly as i "feel" (man, feelings can be wrong at times, i know that) the Lord is wanting me to. boom, fight on again but we pretty much arent screaming & fighting, its just that seperation again, i sleep on the couch, her in the bed, same room.

so i am throwing it all away, im not a leader, im a failure, i know brenda & my life will never be the same & my plans are to set up house in my music studio & to continue to love & support her, but im sure this is all my mind, not Gods by this time.

I also get up early saturday, call tonya & ask her if we can go for a ride & have coffe, we do. i tell her everything, how it is, why we are where we are, how its supposed to be, etc, oh, & how i have failed & i am going to loose both my families, for her to flee from me as far as she can, etc, yea, im a blubbering mess by now. i feel i owe it to her to let her know why she still loves me like she does, etc, also explain some things about staying true to God, how i was impressed to pray for her....oddly enough, she wasnt shocked, she knew a little, but not all this. i love young faith, she said, "Well, I believe everything you are telling me, if ti is God's plan, then calm down, he isnt done"..I was still a mess

Go home, start setting up my bacholer pad, where i can pray & cry the rest of my days out, spend the day saturday worshipping the Lord, helped around the house, actually wrote & or finished 5 songs, all for the Lord, had brenda come to the studio & played them for her, a good day all & all, except that seperation

Sunday morning comes, & Brenda asks me where I went sat morn, i told her to talk to tonya. its on again, a couple hours later she tells me she is going to divorce me, i tell her i love her & will not show up, God wont honor it anyway. I did tell her I would move across the street if she wanted, but my responsibilty was to her & our family, I finally learned that after 26 years of being a not very good husband or dad.

so im cooking breakfast for the grandaughter & myself, & there is a guy by the name of ron carpenter on TV, preacher, had a great message about prioroties & family life & family order, it was loud enough brenda heard it upstairs, & he was saying things i have been saying, you no how God works. so anyhow, i go up & say to her, thats the way God wants my priorites, just in my case it is a little more complicated. i go back downstairs, she takes a shower.

i go up a little later, & she wants to talk, i figure this is the divorce talk again. however in the shower she came to the end of her rope, listed for Jesus, & he told her to obey her husband, she submitted to me.

if i was a self serving man, i would have pumped my fist & said, yea, i won, quite the opposite, the responsibilty to truley lead my family is awsome, yet a little scarey, but i can do all things through Him!!!

she also said, i just dont want to talk about tonya right now, i dont need to know all the details, to which i understood (she told me this morning in prayer she hasnt had this peace in a long time)

so i decided to make brenda & the fam a nice seafood supper, & had to get something at the home improvement store, so i planned a little day trip. i took tonya & her daughter with me to clear up a lot of loose ends that i am sure i left her with on saturday morning, normally i would say "brenda, im taking tonya so we can talk", but i was just respecting her wishes to not toss it in her face right now...btw, tonya & i had a great talk, it was no where near a "oh yea, lets get married talk", more like a "man, this is some wild stuff, lets just set back & not get excited about anything", i explained to T, not always on earth, His will gets done properly, also explained i wouldnt do anything to comprimise my family or hers for that matter, she actually understand all this well

so i get home, brenda asks the question, did you go alone, i tell the truth, the enemy attacks her again, i just hold her & love her & also explain, you didnt want to hear about her, would you rather i spend all day on the telephone from my studio, or make good use of my highway time?, & also said, see, now i am free to provide you a great evening

peaceful evening from there, bacon wrapped shrimp & crab legs from the grill, excellent salad, a little red wine

i bet everything in my life will be smooth sailing from here on out!! yes, that was a LOL

in His love

John

edit, i forgot to mention, i asked brenda to at least let me explain thru the scriptures why is wasnt SIN to love another, & why its wasnt SIN to have more than one wife, that took place between "im divoricing you & i submit to you", i believe it went better than it appeared to
 
Ok, amigo! I concede you got more bring-on-the-popcorn occasions going on than most of us just now! ROFL :lol:

God is definitely at work in y'all's lives. It's good to see!
 
Well this is another good report jwh. Sounds like a wild roller coaster ride week. When things happen they happen fast, it looks like things are going very well for you in an extremely difficult sense of the words.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top