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Another word for MARRIAGE?

Doc

Member
Real Person
With the recent events in NY state, and with the continued diminishing of the values associated with the word MARRIAGE, maybe its time for us to come up with a NEW word that accurately describes covenant marriage as outlined in the Scriptures.

Any thoughts, comments, suggestions or nominations?

One word that is used in the Old Testament Hebrew is NISSUIN. Contained in that word are all the Biblically accepted forms of marriage.

ANy others?

Doc
 
well, we could always define what we mean when we use the marriage by putting the word biblical in front of it.


and our families could be BIBLICAL FAMILIES :D
 
Part of me wants to agree with steve :D and part of me says to get rid of any hint of what the world is now redefining the word "marriage" to mean. :cry:

Doc, can you post more info about the Hebrew word NISSUIN? (Strong's # and definition might be a good start, if it has one, and/or list a few passages where it is used.) A quick google search for "NISSUIN" didn't turn up any Bible references in the first 20 or so web pages returned, and in the KJV, a search for the word "marriage" returned Exodus 21:10 and Psalm 78:63, neither of which was translated from anything resembling NISSUIN. (Using e-Sword's search feature, which is better than many concordances.)

Maybe we could vote on it...or better, maybe others might offer suggestions as well, and all forum members who choose to participate could vote for their favorite. Maybe even have a campaign, with various BF members endorsing their favorite for a few days or weeks before the vote...

:lol: Language by popular vote...Biblical Linguistics Democracy in action! :lol:

BTW, here's what the online etymology dictionary <http://www.etymonline.com/> says about marriage:
c.1300, from O.Fr. mariage (12c.), from V.L. *maritaticum, from L. maritatus, pp. of maritatre "to wed, marry, give in marriage" (see marry).

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition until death do them part. [G.B. Shaw]
 
Sure thing, Dr. George. Here is an article from a rabbi that distinguishes the engagement and marriage period using different terms.

http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Li ... suin.shtml

The contemporary Jewish wedding ceremony comprises two ancient ceremonies that used to be separated by about a year--erusin, or betrothal, and nissuin, the actual marriage.

Immediately following the reading of the ketubah [the marriage contract], the second ceremony begins. This ceremony involves the recitation of seven blessings and hence is commonly referred to as the Sheva Berakhot. The text of the liturgy is as follows:

The Seven Blessings

1. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.

2. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who created all things for Your glory.

3. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of man.

4. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who created man and woman in Your image, fashioning woman from man as his mate, that together they might perpetuate life. Praised are You, O Lord, Creator of man.

5. May Zion rejoice as her children are restored to her in joy. Praised are You, O Lord, Who causes Zion to rejoice at her children's return.

6. Grant perfect joy to these loving companions, as You did to the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Praised are You, O Lord, who grants the joy of bride and groom.

7. Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe, who created joy and gladness, bride and groom, mirth, song, delight and rejoicing, love and harmony, peace and companionship. O Lord our God, may there ever be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem voices of joy and gladness, voices of bride and groom, the jubilant voices of those joined in marriage under the bridal canopy, the voices of young people feasting and singing. Praised are You, O Lord, Who causes the groom to rejoice with his bride.
After the Blessings Are Recited

During the recitation of these blessings, as was the case in the first ceremony, the rabbi holds a cup of wine aloft. And once again, upon completion of the blessings, groom and bride drink from the cup.

The most striking characteristic of the blessings is that, with the exception of the last one, they focus not on love, but on the theme of creation. In addition to referring to God as "Creator of the fruit of the vine" in the omnipresent blessing over wine, the liturgy refers to God as creator of all things, creator of man, creator of man and woman, and creator of the peace of the Garden of Eden. The theme of creation plays several significant roles in the ceremony. First, it relates to the Jewish conception of marriage as a natural state and suggests that, by marrying, the couple now enters this appropriate condition. Second, it suggests that the marriage furthers God's process of creation, furthering a project the tradition sees as yet unfulfilled.

Rashi, the classic medieval commentator on the Talmud, offers an alternate explanation for the blessings. He suggests that the second benediction is in honor not of the couple, but of all those assembled at the ceremony. The third is in honor of the creation of Adam. The next three refer specifically to the couple being married. And the last is in honor of all Jews everywhere, including, of course, the couple themselves.

One element of the blessings that cannot be denied is that they refer to grooms and brides, men and women, beyond time. Obviously, one element of this "era beyond time" is the Garden of Eden, cited specifically in the liturgy. But in mentioning creation, the liturgy subtly suggests the tradition's commitment to the notion of purposeful creation, and alludes to the future era when God's purpose for humankind will be realized. Jacob Neusner has suggested that the couple represents not only Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but also young men and women in a rebuilt Jerusalem, redeemed in the messianic era. In both representations, the couple exists beyond time and history, in a direct relationship with God and the people Israel.
Repeating the Blessings at the Meal

The seven blessings are repeated once after the ceremony, at the festive meal that follows. There, the grace after meals is recited using one cup of wine, and the Sheva Berakhot using another. Upon completion of the blessings for the second time, the two cups of wine are mixed into a third, and husband and wife now drink from the third cup.

The blessings are then recited every day for the next seven days, as long as at least one person is present at each meal who was not present before. On the Sabbath, the Sabbath Bride "herself " is considered the new "person."
Addressing the Couple

If the rabbi speaks at the ceremony, he or she usually does so after the seven blessings [although some rabbis speak after the reading of the ketubah, before the Sheva Berakhot are recited]. But it is not unusual for more than one person to address the couple under the huppah, at any of several points during the ceremony. Some rabbis also elect to offer a separate blessing for the couple, often the tripartite "Priestly Blessing" (Numbers 6:24-26). Such matters are not regulated by tradition.
Breaking the Glass

The next, and final, ritual element of the ceremony is the shattering of a glass. Traditionally, it is the groom who shatters the glass with his foot, though in some more modern communities groom and bride both do so. Most traditional commentators explain this custom as having originated with incidents recorded in the Talmud in which Mar, the son of Ravina, and Rav Ashi deliberately smashed costly glass at their sons' weddings to put a stop to the raucous dancing and celebrating.

Modern explanations have focused on a more solemn theme, claiming that the broken glass reminds Jews assembled at a joyous occasion of the Temples and recalling those individuals, Jew and non-Jew alike, who do not have the freedom to celebrate either religiously or publicly. A more mystical explanation of the ceremony is that the glass represents the couple and that just as the glass, when it is broken, enters a state from which it will never emerge, it is the hope of the community that this couple will never emerge from their married state. Finally, one modern source suggests:

"Beneath its articulated Jewish historical meaning (remembrance of the destruction of the Temple), this act has symbolic sexual-anthropological meaning. It is an obvious representation of the sexual consummation of the marriage by the breaking of the hymen. It also is an act of noisemaking employed to chase away demons that might attack the couple as they pass through that liminal period between unmarried and married status."

This evaluation of the tradition of breaking the glass is extraordinarily novel. Whether these anthropological factors actually played a role in the origins of the ceremony is difficult to say.
 
and here is another one:

http://elias-bachrach.com/wedding/guide.html

Overview

Ceremony
The modern Jewish wedding ceremony contains three parts. They are Kiddushin (betrothal), Nissuin (nuptials), and Yichud (seclusion). In ancient times the Kiddushin and the rest of the wedding ceremony was separated by a year. In modern times there is only a minor break in the ceremony between Kiddushin and Nissuin to signify that they are two distinct ceremonies.

The Kiddushin ceremony is traditionally thought to be one of acquisition. As the husband does not actually gain ownership of the wife, nor does the wife gain ownership of the husband, the acquisition model is not entirely accurate (although it is not entirely inaccurate either). Kiddushin comes from the Hebrew word for holy. The bride and groom are actually entering a new level of holiness. In ancient times when a person wanted to donate an object to the temple that object gained a new level of holiness. The object was then kept in the temple not because it had changed owner (the original person still owned it), but because it was now too holy for everyday use. A similar event occurs in the Kiddushin ceremony in a wedding. Neither the bride nor the groom become the property of the other, yet they both gain a new level of holiness that can only be found in matrimony, and are then forbidden to others.

Wedding Themes
Although there are clearly many themes present in the wedding, the two most predominant are the theme of starting life anew, and the abundant happiness that should be displayed. In the spirit of starting life anew as a couple, the bride and groom treat this day as a miniature Yom Kippur (day of repentance). It is traditional for both the bride and the groom to fast until after the wedding ceremony has occurred, and both the bride and groom wear white (the color of purity) while under the chuppah (wedding canopy).

It is a commandment to make the bride and groom happy on the day of their wedding. To this end almost any time the bride and groom go anywhere on the day of their wedding, they are escorted by people dancing and singing. During the reception after the ceremony it is traditional to perform acts (shtick) which will make the bride and groom happy.



The Wedding Day

Chatan's tish and Kabalat panim
As the guests arrive for the wedding, two events are happening simultaneously. The groom (Chatan) is seated at a table called the chatan's tisch or groom's table. It is here that the ketubah (marriage contract) is filled out and signed. There is a rabbi present who acts on behalf of the bride, as well as two witnesses (edim) who witness the signing itself.

The bride (kallah) is seated in another room where she greets her guests. (It should be noted that the food is much better near the bride than the groom. No one knows why this is, but it's probably not an accident.)

Bedeken
After the ketubah (marriage contract) has been signed, it is the groom's responsibility to place the veil on the bride, evoking imagery of the matriarchs Leah and Rachel, who were both veiled when they married Jacob. The responsibility of veiling is the groom's responsibility alone. No one else should touch the veil after he has placed it on the bride. After the Bedeken, the groom is escorted from the room to the chuppah (bridal canopy under which the ceremony takes place). The guests should also go to the chuppah to take their seats for the wedding ceremony.

Ceremony
As with all orthodox religious ceremonies, men should cover their heads (extra coverings will be supplied), and men and women sit separately. As mentioned above, the wedding ceremony is divided into three parts, two of which (kiddushin and Nissuin) take place here under the chuppah. When the bride walks down the aisle (the groom having already done so), the first thing she does is walk seven circles around the groom. This is to symbolize the walls of the new house which the bride and groom will be building together.

Kiddushin
The kiddushin ceremony is, at its heart, an act of acquisition.
In much of Jewish tradition, wine is used to signify a special or holy time. It is used to begin the sabbath and holidays, and then it is used again to demarcate the end of these holy days. The kiddushin ceremony is also begun with a glass of wine to signify its holiness. Traditionally the rabbi says the blessing over the wine, and the bride and groom each take a sip.
After drinking the wine, the Rabbi recites the bethrothal prayer called Birkat Erusin.
The heart of the ceremony is when the groom gives his ring to the bride. The groom places the ring on the bride's finger and recites the following line:

Harei at me'kudeshet li be'tabaat zo ke'dat Moshe ve'yisrael.

(Behold, thou art betrothed unto me, with this ring, in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel.)

The bride holds up the ring on her index finger so that the two witnesses can see. (The ring is placed on the index finger so that it is easier for the witnesses and all others assembled to see that she has accepted the ring and the marriage conditions that go along with it).

Reading the Ketubah
To serve as a break between the kiddushin and nissuin ceremonies, the ketubah (marriage contract) is read aloud.

Nissuin
The nissuin ceremony consists of seven blessings which are recited over a second cup of wine under the chuppah. The theme of these blessings links the bride and groom to our faith in G-d as creator of the world, Bestower of joy and love, and the ultimate Redeemer of our people.

As the final act of the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass cup. The tradition is ancient, and there are several reasons for it. The earliest recorded instance of this occurance was when a rabbi broke an expensive cup at his son's wedding in order to quiet down boistrous wedding guests. The tradition is maintained now to remind us both that even in times of extreme happiness we should still remember to maintain a level of sobriety, and also to remind us of the destruction of the Holy Temple, without which we can never truly be happy as a people.

Yichud
Now that the wedding ceremony is complete, the bride and groom go off to the yichud (privacy) room for some time alone. This action too must be witnessed by 2 people. They are to stay in there for at least 9 minutes, during which no one else is allowed in the room. This is also the first time that the bride and groom have been allowed to eat all day, and if they are lucky, some food was placed in the room beforehand.

The meal
The wedding meal is the new couple's first meal as husband and wife. As such it is acompanied by music and dancing.

If you've never been to a Jewish simcha (celebration) before, you may be in for a surprise. There will be a mechitza (partition) down the middle of the dance floor. Men are on one side and women on the other. The music (which will be provided by Nafshenu), is lively and upbeat. The best description of what constitutes dancing at a Jewish wedding would be to say that we move in concentric circles clapping arhythmically.

As was mentioned briefly above, during the dancing it is customary to perform shtick. The idea is to entertain the bride and groom (and everyone else for that matter) by doing unusual things. Standard shtick fare can include dressing up in weird costumes, doing handstands, and tying all the napkins at the catering hall together to make a jumprope. Shtick can also be more elaborate - people have been known to use live chickens and eat flaming sushi. (For the record live animals have been banned from our wedding, but open flames are acceptable).

After the Meal
After the meal is over everyone in attendence will participate in the grace after meals, known as bircat hamazon. Since it is a wedding, the seven prayers used under the chuppah in the nissuin ceremony are repeated after the grace. Following the grace will be the best part of the whole wedding - dessert!
 
It occurs to me that since the media is always talking about "Gay Marriage", perhaps we need do nothing more than add a clear descriptor of our own, "Biblical Marriage". That differentiates it from "Gay Marriage", which it can never include. Also from traditional christian marriage, which isn't always particularly Biblical.
 
Cecil wrote:
...traditional christian marriage, which isn't always particularly Biblical.
And that is what gets us in trouble with the pagan-Romish Traditionalists. :o

But I'd rather be in line with the Inspired Word of our Creator than to have favor with the Pharisees and Sadducees... :D

Doc, thank you for the information - it is helpful, but it really did not answer my question: where in the Bible is the word transliterated as "NISSUIN" found? Or is it a Hebrew word that is not used in the Bible?

IMHO, we should develop (Biblical Marriage? Nissuin?) ceremonial traditions that are Biblical in origin and purpose (unlike traditional "wedding vows"), maybe similar to those ceremonies about which Doc just posted. We could use those as models, or maybe even adopt them as-is. To put it in the words of Tom Shipley, we are attempting nothing less than a paradigm shift within the Church, and it is very important that we do things in a manner pleasing to YHWH as we bring this about.

Does a paradigm shift mean that we need a new vocabulary? Very possibly, yes, but that should be debated by all involved in bringing about that shift.

I do like NISSUIN, Doc. Problem is, I also like Biblical Marriage...decisions, decisions...
 
Well, don't feel too bad about the decision...I have been wrestling with our 'terminology' in the Christian plural marriage community for a while.

How about the word Dabaq, which means 'to cleave'?

Doc
 
DocInMO said:
How about the word Dabaq, which means 'to cleave'?

Problem with this and that Nissuin one is that it would communicate to an even smaller sliver of society. They would not know what you were talking about. Biblical Marriage at least gives them a starting point to communicate and clarify.
 
The term "marriage" as well as "husband" and "wife" were all terms created by the Roman state tradition in the Old English era. These terms developed around 900-1100 and predominately by the Germanic and Celtic people in the European era who had largely been under the guidance of the dominate Roman church. This became the dominate term for use by the legal systems that were merged all in one sphere under the Church/State model. Then, the KJV version of 1611 was only 50 or so years after the Reformation began full swing with Luther and Calvin. So they used the "legal terms" marriage, husband, and wife in the Bible and this was the English Bible brought to the soils of America by the Puritans and Pilgrims. Thus, we inherited the Romanist terms from our European brethren who received their newly created terms from a prior state system.

The issue with even the term "marriage" is that it is still the legal term that connotes a public contract whereas the biblical concept is a private contract between either individual persons or families. Before the new terms were developed and before this new system came into play the terms were equivalent to simply the translation of genitive into the receptor language. "My man," "my woman," or "union" would be the English equivalents. In other languages it would be those possessive forms of their particular language.

And of course, the term marriage is now in almost all states the idea of a no fault divorce clause or protection to it. Thus, those who use that legal route have by default accepted a contractual legal status that is contradictory to the private and binding union agreement that Scripture provides. And it is getting worse because little by little the legal definition is beginning to include even more foreign concepts like homosexual marriage. The breakdown is ongoing.

Biblical Families? Oh, yes absolutely! Biblical Marriage, well not as easy to defend because it like saying biblical error, i.e. two terms that carry inherently different senses that do not coalesce in etymology or semantic ranges of meaning. It is kinda of like saying, a FORD CHEVY; it is two different organizations and in actuality there is no FORD CHEVY car/vehicle.
 
""My man," "my woman," or "union" would be the English equivalents... Biblical Marriage... is like saying biblical error... kinda of like saying, a FORD CHEVY..."

OK then...how about "Biblical Union"?
 
Yes the terms "Biblical Union" would be a very precise theological term that reflects the idea from Scripture.
 
"Uh. What's a Biblical union?"

"It's a, well, it's a marriage, but done and carried out along Biblical lines."

"Oh! So it's a Biblical marriage, instead of a gay marriage or a normal one?"

"Yes and no. It is, but we don't wanna CALL it that. Cause we don't like where Contemporary Marriage is going. And 'Biblical Union' is a more theologically precise term."

"Hunh? What's THAT mean? Tele-tubby what?"

"Well ..."

Personally, I'd prefer to avoid this sort of discussion.
 
I like "my woman," "my man," etc., but what do we call the relationship that the pagan-Romish Traditionalists call "marriage?" "Union" is theologically accurate, as Dr. Allen said, but Cecil has a good point about confusing people.

The problem is that we are on ground that has lain fallow for centuries. That is almost like being on brand-new territory. What we believe is distinct from that which the world believes, and unfortunately, it is also distinct from what the Church taught during those many centuries that the ground we are now treading was declared to be off-limits.

IMHO, we need to find terminology that will convey that distinctiveness (so we aren't confused with those who believe in "gay marriage" or "traditional marriage.") And, of course, that distinctiveness comes not from man's ideas, but from the heart of our Creator via His Inspired Word. Therefore, whatever terminology we might decide to use should convey that idea.

Biblical Union? Godly Union? Scriptural Union? Sacred Union? Something else entirely??? Someone among us needs to have a moment of inspiration here!
 
According to Michael Youssef it is:

"Marriage should remain what it has been throughout recorded history—a covenantal union between a man and a woman."

Unfortunately immediately following that he goes into the one man one woman thang... :cry:

http://michaelyoussef.squarespace.com/m ... issue.html
 
Scarecrow said:
According to Michael Youssef it is:

"Marriage should remain what it has been throughout recorded history—a covenantal union between a man and a woman."
i like that. we have our work cut out for us in the war that is ahead of us in promulgating the idea that a man can have more than one of these unions.
the big question, to me, is: will having our own terminology hinder or help us in the long run.
communication is what is important. having our own terms for the relationship means that we are going to have to teach on two different fronts at the same time. will it divide the focus and make it harder, or will it create a mystique that will attract and thus make our job easier?
 
Hopefully it will make a distinction allowing us the opportunity to explain why we use the term covenantal union and introduce them to modern polygyny. I'm not aware that the government is willing to recognize the second, third, forth, etc... woman of an Islamic man and there is no question about their beliefs. I think it is time to find someone to help us with the "legal" side of things (Jonathan Turley comes to mind). Either that or we work with the LLC scenario and refer to our covenantal "wives" as "our women".
 
Hey guys, I like that, too....

Covenantal Union
Covenantal Union
Covenantal Union

Just saying it three times to see how it sounds, LOL
 
Kelly: "Are you married to Jenny?"

Jim: "I am in a covenantal union with Jenny."

Kelly: "Covenantal union? How is that different from marriage?"

Jim: "We feel like the word 'marriage' is misused by our culture today, and doesn't fully convey our desire to follow Biblical principles in the relationship between husband and wife."

Kelly: "So a covenant is like a promise, right?"

Jim: "It goes deeper than that. It means making a vow to God and to others that we are entering into an agreement. I am agreeing to be her husband, and she is agreeing to be my wife. It is more like a contract with God than a promise to each other."

Kelly: "What about the word 'union'?"

Jim: "Good question, Kelly. We prefer union because it more aptly describes the relationship, a 'one-flesh' bonding, between a husband and his wife. It is more than a sexual partnership, or a commitment to create and manage a family. It goes deeper, on a spiritual level. The word 'marriage' in our culture today no longer holds that spiritual meaning."

Kelly: "Why make the change?"

Jim: "Because, over time, the meanings of words can change, especially in the English language. A perfect example is the word 'gay'. Thirty years ago the word was equivalent to 'happy' or 'joyful'. Today, is equivocates to a homosexual. We feel that the meaning of the word 'marriage' has changed, especially in the last several years. We are simply trying to convey what we feel the Bible says the relationship between a husband and his wife should be about."
 
Neat description there brother Doc.

In more cases than not the distinctive terms would lead to someone asking why the different terms, kinda of like sowing curiosity in the heart of the person which facilitates a teaching opportunity.
 
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