OK well that's different. If you already plan on going through, then yes, inform your immediate family and/or have them meet him. I thought we were talking about hypotheticals. By immediate family, I mean your closest relatives. No need to tell your second cousin once removed and such.
That's excellent and I can relate to that. I've made a point of building a solid relationship with my second wife's mother (her father died long ago). She is not a Christian and was anti to begin with so I made it a priority to read Bible and discuss biblical truth with her. She sees her daughter very happy and has grown to accept me. But it's not such a problem now because the mother is in her 80's and a lot of the marbles have fallen out of the marble bag. Other family and friends we don't say anything to as it's none of their business. There's no benefit in creating problems for yourself.
I am a widow. I have two young adult children.
Wow, that's very encouraging and I pray all continues to progress without any serious difficulties arising. Thank you for sharing.
I told one of my daughters the other day. She was very accepting of it. It went as good as I could have hoped. She said she neither agrees or disagrees with it, but definitely sees the scripture for it. The way I presented it is that we wanted to do a Bible Study. My wife was there also. We just went through many Bible verses that discuss polygyny and discussed them. Took maybe two to three hours. She had no problem with my point of view.
Just giving people books usually doesn't work, as it's easily perceived as a very long-winded way of browbeating someone into agreeing with you. However, if that was phrased as "I read this book and, much as I'm not comfortable with the conclusion, I really can't see how to refute it from scripture. Can you help me?", then you're approaching them as an ally and showing them respect. You are not trying to teach them, rather asking them to teach you. That may be a good way to approach the issue with some people.
My father used this method when I approached him about women being in leadership of the local church. He is the senior pastor of our church, and I am one of the associate/assistant pastors. My mother has a minister's license and calls herself Co-Pastor. So, this was a pretty big deal to him.
This is a fantastic idea, I fear it would not have worked on my father, but it certainly could be the approach that makes the difference for many other ministers in my denomination. I will be keeping this in mind.
Build back better.... hmmm.... that would make a great campaign slogan.
Totally agree. Everyone is different and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.
Or we could continue working until Marriages Are Great Again.
So it was all going well until it turned out it was not a casual chat and the whole time you'd had an agenda. Basically you found a great conversation starter, but blew it by trying to get further than is possible in one conversation, moving too fast. Lesson for others - give people plenty of time to wrap their heads around the theory before making it real. If possible.
Yes, too often we treat it like a debate and we press in when we see the opening.
Actually not exactly. The fact was is my mom was recently widowed and she said she told her brother in law that he had to marry her, it's in the bible. But he had just been engaged so she said it wouldn't work, jokingly of course. When I said it really has nothing to do with his relationship status and gave her many examples. She responded with the hmm well I wonder when all that stopped. Then I proceeded with the discussion. Saying I had an agenda is not accurate at all. Yes I have facts that I felt it was appropriate to share with her but actually wasn't wanting to talk about it at that moment.
I'm not disagreeing with your point. And I wouldn't be offended if you did. I'm fairly new here and I know this is like texting where you can't tell someone's emotions through written words. I think many on here could try and read each message with an understanding heart instead of attacking. I think you could help this forum too by not trying to make your point through a response to someone's position. You could of simply pointed out your suggestion without replying to mine. The response and the follow up could appear as a fatherly correction. Simply saying
