Hey there, I think Eternitee was referring to something we were discussing in chat a few weeks ago. If kids are exposed to biblical teaching over weeks, months, and years, and if that teaching involves going through the bible in chapters and books, we naturally and inevitably hit all of the important subjects of life from God's perfect perspective. We learn and teach "the whole counsel of God". Hopefully, that helps us examine not only what is normal, but what God desires to be a new normal. This doesn't have to be a complicated, overwhelming curriculum, but merely reading and talking and praying together a few minutes each day. Really giving yourself to the Lord, you've probably already seen His Holy Spirit show you and your kids all kinds of cool things as you go through it together. He wants you (and them) to get His perspective on life, even more than you do.
Also, most children look to their moms to set the tone of emotional response in the home. If I am excited about something that's going on, they pick up on that. If I dread something else, they will often feel anxiety, too. So if God brings another woman to our family, it will be someone I begin to care about and love as another member of the family. We will explain that Daddy loves ___________ just as he loves me. I will be welcoming and excited to see all the ways God will bless us and bring us close. We'll take each adjustment as it comes, with prayer, kindness, and hopefully, a few laughs more than a few tears. That's how we've always dealt with each new member of the family as God has brought them, too.
Let me just say, also, that kids who have been raised with a lot of time under other adults (such as public or private school teachers, or Sunday school teachers and youth pastors) who have taught other views on the world rather than biblical ones... well, kids will have absorbed those along the way. If discipleship has been contracted out, so has trust and respect. As a child's beloved youth pastor, or his aunt, or his baseball coach, responds to a new polygynous family, so very possibly will the child. I'm not saying that parents should never sign their kids up for baseball; I'm just saying, be prayerful about those with whom you decide to leave your children. May God bless your new family!
One last thought: we believe that it is essential that any new addition to the family come through the doors as a friend first, so that, above other considerations, this new woman grows daily, weekly, and monthly as a natural part of the family. It is important to everyone that time and prayer be the fabric that acts as the mortar of relationship. As this occurs, you will find it only natural that this new woman (with your emotional blessing) is welcomed by the children.
Kelly
