pebble said:
It would be difficult to be sexually attracted to a woman and not want to have her. Or even to love a woman and not want her to be by your side.
That little word "attracted" (attract, attraction, attractive) can be deceptive. Put another way, it can mean different things in different contexts, and is therefore sometimes confusing.
If I walk into a business function and look around the room for someone to talk with, and I notice a personable, bright-looking woman and head in that direction, am I 'attracted' to her? Well, yes, you could say that. Did I do anything wrong? Doubtful. I don't want to have sex with her, I just want to find out what she does and who she works for, see if we can do business together. I can even enjoy the conversation and trade business cards (with phone numbers on them!) without wanting her for my own or coming between her and her husband. But I was 'attracted' to her initially, or I would have gone and talked with someone else.
And remember, if all this polygamy talk is true,
then there's nothing wrong with being 'attracted' to her in the sense of wanting to spend more time together to see if you'd be compatible as lifetime partners. The only thing that would make that wrong is if she's already married to someone else.
And that's the point of the whole thing. I don't think the prohibition against adultery is even about our relationships with women.
It's about our relationships with other men. I don't hit on your women; you don't hit on mine. Works better for everybody (including especially the women).
Got one other thought. This is R-rated; sensitive eyes can skip this part.
I don't know how many males make it through adolescence in this culture without some kind of acquaintance, however minimal, with pornography and/or masturbation. We have created a culture in which we mature biologically ten or more years before we're ready to take on the responsibilities of getting married and having children. That leaves our sex drive—our fundamental, primal, limbic, "I feel funny and I don't know why" sex drive—with a whole lot of nothing to do for a decade or more. You have to have either very low testosterone or a very low IQ or an iron will to make it through your extended adolescence without some kind of curiosity getting the best of you. Maybe more than once.... :shock:
The point here is that a guy in that predicament learns to fantasize. In some cases, he gets very good at it. This is not a healthy situation.
I wonder how much of our Sunday school angst over Mt 5:28 is just adolescence gone wrong. (Note: I'm not talking about men with a sincere desire to live a holy, separated life with sincere questions about where the line is. I'm talking about the youth leaders and Sunday school teachers that have just beat this to death in a misguided effort to 'do something' about teenaged fornication, or about all those married men that are just ticking time bombs waiting to bang their secretary on her desk the minute no one is looking.) If you are sexually content, then you aren't going to spend a lot of time desiring other women, let alone other guy's wives, in the first place. Ideally, none. No itch that needs scratching.
So to wrap this up: A beautiful woman is like a beautiful sunset. Enjoy, appreciate, give thanks to the Creator for those little moments when something extraordinary happens, and move on. If you find yourself wishing you could be with her or fantasizing about what it would be like, apologize to the Creator for being an ungrateful, selfish idiot, and move on. Under no circumstances spend the rest of your life with one hand over your eyes peeking through your fingers in case you see an attractive woman and have to avert your eyes so you won't 'sin' by noticing that she's attractive. That can't be what Jesus meant.