Discussion on a potential wedding plans

[James A]

Follow God minister to the unsaved pray fast and read the Bible talk about God with the one your in love with. And under Gods direction do what he leads you to do. If both of you put God first everything will be in line with God

 

[MontanaDaniel]

You write this with a lot of certainty for someone who doesn't seem to be in a relationship. Does what your hypothetical wives may want play any sort of role in your fantasy? I mean this will all respect due, but perhaps when the time comes that you do finally fall in love, you will be more inclined to give her what she wants instead of what you are certain you want.

I think the humor here is that more than once in this thread and the other wedding one this got rerouted from it has been assumed that a man of 33 years is assumed to have never been in a relationship before? Or actually several? lol You know, if you put a 33 year old anything in front of me (man, woman, elephant, crystalline mineral...) I would assumed they or it had been in more than one romantic relationship of some kind or another before.

For love between crystalline minerals, I suppose it brings whole new meaning to the old motto: "When this van's a rockin..." Sorry, I just... had to.

 

[MontanaDaniel]

Humor.. serious humor. lol Down on all us practical women! lol I'm only as described when horribly pregnant. lol I don't know what women you hang around... lol I'm like Nurse Crachet otherwise lol My dad thought I'd be a good nurse.. I laughed so very very hard. But maybe he was right because I have the hard love pull yourself together kind of attitude. Anyway, thanks for the good laugh on what you think all women are like.

I believe the man should be Godly and follow God but he should treat the wife or wives as part of himself

I think it's very telling that EVERY relationship you've ever been in has been with this kind of woman--you obviously are attracted to a certain type. Which begs the question: would you even be happy with a quiet, shy, fashionably non-conformist woman? Probably not since you've probably walked past 10 of them in the past month. You want an impossible woman (excuse me, women) and then complain because they don't exist.

You can't change others, you can only change yourself.

You know... I gotta chuckle here, but just how prevalent out there do the members/users of this site think Biblical p0lygamy is in the US? Let's see, they estimate anywhere from 50k to 100k polygamous individuals in the US, let's just be on the super generous side and bump that up to 150K for argument's sake, ok, so we have 150K out of (very) roughly 300 million people, which works out to... 0.05% of the total population.

Oh wait, almost forgot, the vast majority of that 0.05% are actually Mormon and Islamic, so hmm, no figures for this, let's be generous still and call it a nice meaty %0.0025 of the population (basically 1/20th of that original 0.05, since let's face it, Mormonism and Islam were founded on polygamy, whereas Christianity definitely has the whole monogamy thing on lockdown per the moment, it would seem (Hey, except for us, right? I'm on your side here!) so the real numbers are probably like 1/50th of that 0.05%, but hey, I'm in a giving mood today, let's keep it at 1/20th.

Ok, I'll stop the sarcasm already if you guys likewise agree to put down your 5-th grade tattletale "he's being mean to girls!" hall-monitor sashes.

Look, I've met tons of nice women before. Even though they didn't work out, even been with some nice ladies too. I know they exist. Have been in relationships, some women had very fine qualities, all had some serious issues though. And oh no, I am not attracted to those types at all. I have always had an instinctual crush on the old-fashioned, sweet, soft-spoken sweetheart types. Absolutely. Ah, but I'm not a mind-reader. See, you dont know that one otherwise perfectly normal chick has some serious anti-masculinity views until you know, you're 7 months in and weird stuff starts happening in the dynamic.

Now back to reality though... ah, right, we were talking about Christian polygamist girls with old-fashioned virtues who respect gender roles and are "really sweet, fine ladies". Do you... have any idea... how incredibly rare those women are??

No, I'm sorry, maybe this community or just a few members within it really do need a reality check lol. I am a man, I've been living in society, I've had my own experiences sure, but I've also been very observant my entire life. I've talked with plenty of people who have echoed the same things. I have been living this truth, as have many men today. And yes, I'm aware theres many badly behaving men out there! They're jerks, idiots, dumdums, hey I get it, I'm not a misogynist. But being a heterosexual man myself, I mean yes its tough for any lady having to deal with a jerk guy or a dumdum guy out there, my heart goes out to them, but guess what... I'm not talking about men! Im concerned with women just a tad more, call me crazy biased, just bonkers really.

I don't know where you folks live, town or state and whatnot, but here we are, mostly Americans, in the US, debating this topic in a Biblical polygamy site where women not only have to accept the Bible's monogamous-level principles in order to be like, really rare monogamous women as a Christian female starting point, you know the kind of woman that is very graceful, beautiful, submissive, virtuous, Christian, respectful, pleasant, a great wife and homemaker and mother, supports her husbands decisions 100% (ok, just, again, a kind reality check, but even right there? Yeah, as far as the whole country goes youre already in unicorn territory as is) but then additionally, has to accept polygamy as well? In a religion and tradition going back almost 2000 years most of that time of which has been just about exclusively monogamous, especially in the US? Ok, NOW you're talking about gold-plated diamond-encrusted unicorns. And it's a shame, I know because I too am an aspiring Christian polygamist man, and I don't like the numbers either. Seriously, I'm not being sarcastic here.

So yeah, I absolutely do love women, understand them, love them, get along with them better than most men in real life, respect them, treasure them, the whole nine yards. You can keep doubting that, or you can just give me the benefit of the doubt.

At the same time though, I am absolutely spot-on when I talk about modern women. Are most of the users on here older? Maybe its a generational thing? Im not sure, but especially relative to Biblical polygamy, the behavior, expectations, lifestyles, beliefs, values, relationship patterns, choices, psychologies, politics, habits, fashions, tendencies, personalities and any other conceivable factor you could think of for the majority of modern women today is SO incredibly far afield from the conception of the "Biblical polygamous Christian female" needed to be compatible with the views here and this way of life that... relative to even the bare minimum to achieve entry into this niche, a woman is already drastically different in all those above traits by default from 99.99875% of all other American women.

Oh no, but you guys are right, blow those whistles, I'm just being mean to girls... no, they're wonderful, really. The modern ones? Oh yeah, peaches, angels, not a single basketcase among them.

By the way, curious where I got the number 99.99875%?

It represent exactly the entire rest of the country when you split 0.0025% in half (you know, male and female halves and all).

*****

Ok, that was the gritty bit (I have a competitive spirit in debate sometimes, what can I say. I know, I used math, totally unfair advantage, apologies)

But just to end on an actual positive note, I'm not bitter guys. Im a hard-boiled realist maybe, a formerly jaded Christian spiritualist sick and tired of living in this cold, grey, selfish, money-driven and socially fractured liberal urban blight-scape that I am thankfully soon leaving behind... but bitter, especially about women, I am not. I'm so optimistic right now if you hooked up my left foot to a Prius battery I might just power the damn thing to the grocery store and back.

And I have very concrete and realistic plans to find my sweethearts, I know they're out there, I got what it takes, I'm going to find them and do my thing, I have no doubts in myself. Monogamous or polygamous, women are still women, i know enough about how they tick to get by.

But I will say, I'm not content with that whole depressing 0.0025% number, for myself or my many future polygamous offspring who will be raised in our way and depend on there being viable partners for them out there, not just gold-plated unicorn hunting.

And the first step to finding a way forward and helping a movement to grow, is to admit that all is not alright on the outside, and that we represent a better path forward than the mass dysfunctional unhappiness out there today where men and women can't even be male and female, masculine and feminine as God designed us to be, instead having to conform to... crap, basically. That's what modern society has become, truly, quite bankrupt in its social norms and values.

Do yourselves a favor, especially if you're of the Woodstock generation (and I say that with some reverence since Pink Floyd is my all time favorite band), go to Youtube right now and search for "biggest EDM concerts 2019", see what pops up. I don't even care which one, click on any of them.

That's the biggest most popular, most played, most sold out musical genre and venues of this generation. It's all over the country, heck, its all over the world now. Yeah, EDM sucks, I know. Anyway, THOSE are the kids who make up the mainstream now and the biggest numbers, those are the kids who represent the future of this country and its culture.

Tell me, in that video there, I know whichever one you clicked on its just a bunch of crazy teens and tweens jerking around to spazzo drum-machine beats, but you tell me, do you think any of those girls boppin around (most on ecstasy or molly... just sayin, they are) represent even a sliver of the values that we espouse and seek here on BF?

Oh, I do love women, and I plan on doing just fine in this new life choice Im embarking on.

But Im also a realist, and Im not out to offend people, but i definitely call it like it is.

I dont know... maybe if you guys bothered to even read this long droning post of mine, its like a wakeup call. Or something. I dont know, make of it what you will.

 

[MontanaDaniel]

Follow God minister to the unsaved pray fast and read the Bible talk about God with the one your in love with. And under Gods direction do what he leads you to do. If both of you put God first everything will be in line with God

I have to disagree. Praying, reading the Bible and strengthening one's relationship with God, whether by yourself or with a partner are absolutely, tried and true, sublime and FANTASTIC ways to understand Him better, improve your psyche and become a better person and Christian.

Not so much for converting monogamous Christian girls to polygamy in the real world though, gotta say...

 

[Foxlily]

Lol still humored. Very aware how hard it is to find women who are on board with PM. All of us are. Painfully so. If you think you're the only one who knows this then you're either arrogant or naive. I didn't magically get here myself. Most of the women on this board were led to it in some way or another.

I also know very well what there is out there to pick from. You're looking for a needle in a haystack. Most Mormons don't even practice it. And only a small percentage of Muslims actually have more than one.

 

[MontanaDaniel]

Or i should clar

Follow God minister to the unsaved pray fast and read the Bible talk about God with the one your in love with. And under Gods direction do what he leads you to do. If both of you put God first everything will be in line with God

I should have mentioned in the last post to clarify, certainly what you suggest plays an important part in the overall process, but what i meant by “not in the real world” is that even Christian girls, if mainstream enough, are still also normal girls, at the end of the day. And for the more fundamentalist Christian girls you might find... ive met a few of those myself and they can be very confident and proud in their viewpoints, not so easy to convince or even show a new way through the Bible to, either. So it will take quite more of a deliberate, knowledgeable and careful approach to actually achieve it.

Of course, i agree, it goes without saying that finding a good Christian girl and then arriving here through prayer and study and fellowship is absolutely the doorway. Its just navigating the question and conversion with a real woman after you step through that door, that needs a whole lot more foresight, preparation and skill to pull off. God decides if it will happen, but He leaves it up to us to find the way usually...

 

[MontanaDaniel]

Lol still humored. Very aware how hard it is to find women who are on board with PM. All of us are. Painfully so. If you think you're the only one who knows this then you're either arrogant or naive. I didn't magically get here myself. Most of the women on this board were led to it in some way or another.

I also know very well what there is out there to pick from. You're looking for a needle in a haystack. Most Mormons don't even practice it. And only a small percentage of Muslims actually have more than one.

Well maam never did i so much as dream i could out-math you. But i still think putting numbers to show how stark the reality out there is to have been for the best, that way when i say “most women out there have too many issues and incompatibilities for this way of life”, then were in total literal agreement.

As for myself, im actually not pessimistic at all! This is a challenge to be met! I do hope our ranks of good brothers grow as well, but as for Christian girls they are out there by the millions, and i can tell you that many of them have this potential...

So what were going to do, as a community, is work on creating a body of knowledge, like a reference guide, a manual, that is collaborated on by the good folks both men and women here, and this work/knowledge will be focused on how to successfully convert monogamous Christian girls and women to Biblical polygyny. Scripture will play a part in every step of the way, yes, but it also needs to be more nuanced than that, more practical, personally considerate of girls as being real, sensitive beings with all their thoughts feelings and hopes and doubts and pre-conceptions and so forth, this is not a simple undertaking by any means, and for it to be results-driven as well. This absolutely needs to happen if we are to have plural communities such as this one filled not with graveyards of disappointed and stymied daydreamers but happy men with homes filled with happy wives!

So i guess earlier in this thread, which was kindly branched off from the other wedding thread after i sort of walked into the bar already inebriated and began walking up to tables shouting tall tales at people, or the forum equivalent of that, but earlier here i had already started to talk about “a document” and then i listed all those steps, in a previous post.

So if you read that post, its something like that. But with a whole lot of input from everyone, especially the women you yourself included, if this thing isnt dripping soaked and saturated with female wisdom and insight it aint gonna work, simple as that. I could start that thread i guess and then ask questions, take the answers, start to compose the document, keep posting and linking “current versions” as we went, people could then read it and give feedback, fill in other areas, iterate, etc. It will be great. Before you know it steady as she goes we will start to have a very powerful and detailed roadmap on how to best achieve this noble process of liberating otherwise good Christian girls from the narrowness of unGodly and unnatural monogamous mass-convention.

And we can keep it wholesome and Godly and Biblical too, this wont be some sleazy dating guide, because first and foremost it absolutely HAS to be written with the conviction, truth and a deep sense of culture and purpose in why were doing this, to truly believe in our hearts mind and souls that this is the Lords intended way for men and women to be as happy and fruitful as possible by the grace of His design. And thus, that by successfully converting as many monogamous Christian females as we can to polygyny, so that the good men who have realized and joined this ancient Christian truth and divinely intended way of life may have good wives to enjoy and to multiply with and so please the Lord, that we are doing a great service to Him, and also making the world better and making fellow Christians and ourselves better for every single man and woman that is fully converted over and joined with another.

For those that would say things like “you can’t create a one size fits all document, theres too many different women out there” or, “the Bibles the only document you need, it either happens or doesnt” or “if you have everybody giving their input youll just get 100 different versions”...

Then, i would say, have a little Faith. I strongly feel and believe that once we start, we will all be surprised at how amazing and powerful a righteous tool this could be.

 

[Phillip]

Then, i would say, have a little Faith. I strongly feel and believe that once we start, we will all be surprised at how amazing and powerful a righteous tool this could be.

While in Afghanistan, I had a boss try to help me with a problem we had on a Sikorsky helicopter. Same model our presidents fly in. I told my boss he was four steps behind when he catches up to me on the troubleshooting, come back and talk to me.

I’ve read thru all of your posts. And since I’m trying to learn to be diplomatic (trying to learn from @andrew and @FollowingHim ) so I’ll refrain from some personal opinions.

As for you creating a “powerful and righteous tool”, I for one won’t read it. I don’t know you from Adam and have not developed any level of respect at this time.

I suggest taking the time to read and get to know the brothers on this site. As we get older and hopefully a little wiser, we find out experience usually trumps theory. There is a ton of experience on these threads you could take advantage of.

PS Continual repetition on a thread gets annoying. We get it, you like girls.

 

[rockfox]

So here it is:

I think there is an incredibly huge gap here between good intent (what BF stands for) and the reality of achieving this dream for aspiring men. I think there needs to be a well thought-out, well written, exhaustively researched, crowd-sourced (BF would provide the right crowd), vetted and edited guidebook of sorts for literally the most effective way to convert regular-society monogamous devout Christian girls to consider and eventually accept polygyny, which for the vast majority of men even me is an incredibly difficult thing to do! Most men would just read that problem statement and say “uhhhh nope. Impossible. Forget it.” But we know that it is possible, albeit very difficult and fraught with risk of failure.

This guidebook might (in exaggerated drastic summarization, obviously) read something like:

1.) find a very devout Christian girl. Could be online dating sites, could be a local church.

2.) Do NOT mention polygamy in any way shape or form right away.

3.) start talking to her, build a social connection and maybe even a romantic pre-marital dating connection, but have it be centered around a love of Christ and devotion to His faith all the while.

4.) still not talking about polygamy, whether in person, online or by phone, suggest the idea to have “bible dates” where you read scripture together and discuss dogma and tenets, and then make it a regular part of your interaction with her. Take the lead on this, show your enthusiasm for God.

5.) increasingly moreso, go over fundamentalist bible material even monogamous Christians adhere to, i.e. the wifes submission to the husband, gender roles, Gods design for men and women, among other topics of course to not be too narrow-tracked about it.

6.) Get to a point where the girl fully agrees with everything biblical and fundamental BEFORE entering or even suggesting polygamy territory, such as hearing her agree that men should lead their households and women and decide whats best for their families based on the bible, statements of affirmation which clearly delineate gender differences and roles per the book.

7.) Then, start reading scripture and discussing polygamy but in a very subtle way that does not seem like you outright either wanting it nor disavowing it, by casually going over scripture which mentions polygyny and multiple wives, and talk about it.

8.) even if done very smoothly and non-chalantly to where the girl doesnt think the man “went there intentionally” she will still have pushback against the idea of it, even if not directed at the man, even if just in open friendly and mutual theological discussion... doesnt matter, she WILL voice her qualms and condemnation soundbytes against polygamy, expect it. Ok, maybe 1/1000 will blurt out “i love the sound of that, lets try it!” In which case great, youve got a winner. For all other 999/1000, keep reading.

9.) be prepared, WELL prepared for her pushbacks and biblical arguments against polygyny (and this is why we would need a collaborated guide for this which is far beyond my skills or knowledge just on my own) so that at every turn, at every possible biblical wall, the man has a biblical sledgehammer and dissolves the barrier, at every possible moral outrage, the man has a biblical morality affirming polygyny (and of course, only “soft” defenses at first to not seem suspiciously outspoken about it just yet), for every negative remark she has, you have scripture backing up a positive counter-remark.

10.) if at some point along steps 8-9 she suspects an ulterior motive (and women are very smart so this is likely) and calls you out on it, i.e. “why do you keep reading verses dealing with polygamy and multiple wives and then talking to me about it, is that what you want?” Then this is a potentially precarious moment, answer honestly but wisely. If she still needs a lot of work and convincing to soften her pre-existing biases, provide a true but mitigated response: “well to be honest it is a recent line of inquiry for me as i dig deeper into the Bible and Gods holy word and discover new wisdom, so i dont yet know what to think completely one way or the other. Im still just exploring it, along with you if you dont mind, but at the end of the day i have to listen to God, and if the bible turns out to accept and condone multiple wives as it did for Moses Jacob and the Kings of Israel among many others, then who am i to go against God? Wouldnt it be my sacred duty as a biblical Christian man to seek out what God truly wants for men and women based on what the bible teaches us? What do you think?” And then depending on how she answers, you have further lines to talk about and keep probing it. Or who knows, at the slightest hint of you NOT strongly condemning polygamy maybe she rages out and you never see her again. There is always that chance. However, if the girl “calls you out” in a very optimistic and friendly, even slightly curious and enticing way, then you know your good work has been paying off, and perhaps a more direct and affirmative (while still somewhat casual) answer might be in order. Step 10 depends alot on what came before and how it goes down.

11.) ??? Blurt out and just ask her to be a 1st/2nd/3rd wife ???

The men of this world get women (Christian and not) into their harems with far less difficulty than this. So I think you're missing a few key things that would greatly simplify matters. Getting my mono wife to embrace poly wasn't this complex either.

 

[FollowingHim]

This guidebook might (in exaggerated drastic summarization, obviously) read something like:

1.) find a very devout Christian girl. Could be online dating sites, could be a local church.

2.) Do NOT mention polygamy in any way shape or form right away.

3.) start talking to her, build a social connection and maybe even a romantic pre-marital dating connection, but have it be centered around a love of Christ and devotion to His faith all the while.

4.) still not talking about polygamy, whether in person, online or by phone, suggest the idea to have “bible dates” where you read scripture together and discuss dogma and tenets, and then make it a regular part of your interaction with her. Take the lead on this, show your enthusiasm for God.

5.) increasingly moreso, go over fundamentalist bible material even monogamous Christians adhere to, i.e. the wifes submission to the husband, gender roles, Gods design for men and women, among other topics of course to not be too narrow-tracked about it.

6.) Get to a point where the girl fully agrees with everything biblical and fundamental BEFORE entering or even suggesting polygamy territory, such as hearing her agree that men should lead their households and women and decide whats best for their families based on the bible, statements of affirmation which clearly delineate gender differences and roles per the book.

7.) Then, start reading scripture and discussing polygamy but in a very subtle way that does not seem like you outright either wanting it nor disavowing it, by casually going over scripture which mentions polygyny and multiple wives, and talk about it.

8.) even if done very smoothly and non-chalantly to where the girl doesnt think the man “went there intentionally” she will still have pushback against the idea of it, even if not directed at the man, even if just in open friendly and mutual theological discussion... doesnt matter, she WILL voice her qualms and condemnation soundbytes against polygamy, expect it. Ok, maybe 1/1000 will blurt out “i love the sound of that, lets try it!” In which case great, youve got a winner. For all other 999/1000, keep reading.

9.) be prepared, WELL prepared for her pushbacks and biblical arguments against polygyny (and this is why we would need a collaborated guide for this which is far beyond my skills or knowledge just on my own) so that at every turn, at every possible biblical wall, the man has a biblical sledgehammer and dissolves the barrier, at every possible moral outrage, the man has a biblical morality affirming polygyny (and of course, only “soft” defenses at first to not seem suspiciously outspoken about it just yet), for every negative remark she has, you have scripture backing up a positive counter-remark.

10.) if at some point along steps 8-9 she suspects an ulterior motive (and women are very smart so this is likely) and calls you out on it, i.e. “why do you keep reading verses dealing with polygamy and multiple wives and then talking to me about it, is that what you want?” Then this is a potentially precarious moment, answer honestly but wisely. If she still needs a lot of work and convincing to soften her pre-existing biases, provide a true but mitigated response: “well to be honest it is a recent line of inquiry for me as i dig deeper into the Bible and Gods holy word and discover new wisdom, so i dont yet know what to think completely one way or the other. Im still just exploring it, along with you if you dont mind, but at the end of the day i have to listen to God, and if the bible turns out to accept and condone multiple wives as it did for Moses Jacob and the Kings of Israel among many others, then who am i to go against God? Wouldnt it be my sacred duty as a biblical Christian man to seek out what God truly wants for men and women based on what the bible teaches us? What do you think?” And then depending on how she answers, you have further lines to talk about and keep probing it. Or who knows, at the slightest hint of you NOT strongly condemning polygamy maybe she rages out and you never see her again. There is always that chance. However, if the girl “calls you out” in a very optimistic and friendly, even slightly curious and enticing way, then you know your good work has been paying off, and perhaps a more direct and affirmative (while still somewhat casual) answer might be in order. Step 10 depends alot on what came before and how it goes down.

11.) ??? Blurt out and just ask her to be a 1st/2nd/3rd wife ???

Yes, I must say it reads like a guide of "how to deceitfully indoctrinate someone". I'd stick with listening to the advice of men who have actually succeeded in getting married, ie such as most of the other men here. I really get the feeling you need to do a lot more listening and a lot less talking.

A wise old owl sat in an oak
The more he heard, the less he spoke
The less he spoke, the more he heard
Why aren't we all like that wise old bird?

Key thing to hear:
Our goal in life is not polygamy, but spreading the Gospel.
You don't need a complex plan to personally persuade women to accept polygamy, using your own human reason. You need to be finding and following God's will for your life. If that Will includes one or more wives, they'll turn up in the right timing, and the Holy Spirit will personally work on their hearts to be suitable for this Will - be that accepting polygamy, or accepting being a missionary to Mongolia.

 

[Isaac]

This guidebook might (in exaggerated drastic summarization, obviously) read something like:

1.) find a very devout Christian girl. Could be online dating sites, could be a local church.

2.) Do NOT mention polygamy in any way shape or form right away.

3.) start talking to her, build a social connection and maybe even a romantic pre-marital dating connection, but have it be centered around a love of Christ and devotion to His faith all the while.

4.) still not talking about polygamy, whether in person, online or by phone, suggest the idea to have “bible dates” where you read scripture together and discuss dogma and tenets, and then make it a regular part of your interaction with her. Take the lead on this, show your enthusiasm for God.

5.) increasingly moreso, go over fundamentalist bible material even monogamous Christians adhere to, i.e. the wifes submission to the husband, gender roles, Gods design for men and women, among other topics of course to not be too narrow-tracked about it.

6.) Get to a point where the girl fully agrees with everything biblical and fundamental BEFORE entering or even suggesting polygamy territory, such as hearing her agree that men should lead their households and women and decide whats best for their families based on the bible, statements of affirmation which clearly delineate gender differences and roles per the book.

7.) Then, start reading scripture and discussing polygamy but in a very subtle way that does not seem like you outright either wanting it nor disavowing it, by casually going over scripture which mentions polygyny and multiple wives, and talk about it.

8.) even if done very smoothly and non-chalantly to where the girl doesnt think the man “went there intentionally” she will still have pushback against the idea of it, even if not directed at the man, even if just in open friendly and mutual theological discussion... doesnt matter, she WILL voice her qualms and condemnation soundbytes against polygamy, expect it. Ok, maybe 1/1000 will blurt out “i love the sound of that, lets try it!” In which case great, youve got a winner. For all other 999/1000, keep reading.

9.) be prepared, WELL prepared for her pushbacks and biblical arguments against polygyny (and this is why we would need a collaborated guide for this which is far beyond my skills or knowledge just on my own) so that at every turn, at every possible biblical wall, the man has a biblical sledgehammer and dissolves the barrier, at every possible moral outrage, the man has a biblical morality affirming polygyny (and of course, only “soft” defenses at first to not seem suspiciously outspoken about it just yet), for every negative remark she has, you have scripture backing up a positive counter-remark.

10.) if at some point along steps 8-9 she suspects an ulterior motive (and women are very smart so this is likely) and calls you out on it, i.e. “why do you keep reading verses dealing with polygamy and multiple wives and then talking to me about it, is that what you want?” Then this is a potentially precarious moment, answer honestly but wisely. If she still needs a lot of work and convincing to soften her pre-existing biases, provide a true but mitigated response: “well to be honest it is a recent line of inquiry for me as i dig deeper into the Bible and Gods holy word and discover new wisdom, so i dont yet know what to think completely one way or the other. Im still just exploring it, along with you if you dont mind, but at the end of the day i have to listen to God, and if the bible turns out to accept and condone multiple wives as it did for Moses Jacob and the Kings of Israel among many others, then who am i to go against God? Wouldnt it be my sacred duty as a biblical Christian man to seek out what God truly wants for men and women based on what the bible teaches us? What do you think?” And then depending on how she answers, you have further lines to talk about and keep probing it. Or who knows, at the slightest hint of you NOT strongly condemning polygamy maybe she rages out and you never see her again. There is always that chance. However, if the girl “calls you out” in a very optimistic and friendly, even slightly curious and enticing way, then you know your good work has been paying off, and perhaps a more direct and affirmative (while still somewhat casual) answer might be in order. Step 10 depends alot on what came before and how it goes down.

Correction to your final step:

11) It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it’s told.
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!!!

 

[MontanaDaniel]

So many touchy people on this site, might not be worth it for me after all... Im not sure yet anymore.

Alot of self-contradiction and hypocrisy, too: "Oh yes, its a problem for many of our men and women, how to find more sisterwives, yes we wish there was a bigger community of us, so sad, so painful, so many men come through here and fail, then leave etc etc"... then the following few posters: "Ha! You are brazen and assume much! Learn from others young one (young? lol... ok), then maybe in 20 moons and a fortnite you shall be ready to attempt to contact others with such grand-sounding plans, but until then, learn from the outstanding successes of those men and marriages who have come before.... etc"

No... this is definitely not valid criticisms against my proposal based on ANY kind of Biblical grounds. All I detect here is typical forum-geek exclusionist behavior. Oh, dont know what that is? Kindly, let me inform. See, I didnt get to be a software developer for no reason, I was project manager of a small but still funded social media startup effort a few years back. They ended up pulling the plug after about 3 years because they saw that to increase funding would be far too risky when so many others had failed to dethrone Facebook, Twitter etc and combined that our project to have a chance of success would need far more resources to complete and eventually be competitive. The company funding the effort saw that for every innovation we would design, either it would be way too expensive to implement, or one of the big SM companies would just copy it, which has been the name of the game in SM for years now. Ok, not my fault, my team and I did really good research, groundwork and development, but %90+ of startups fail, just how it is.

And do you know what I learned in all of our research during that time? That a common toxic social media problem in the internet today was the formation of mutually isolated tight-knit groups each in their own esoteric corners (forums, groups, channels, websites, etc) servicing any potential cultural sub-group in the world at any time, that because of their small, niche subject matter and limited populations would inevitably become too insular and exclusionist for their own good, leading to all the typical symptoms: reflexive group rejection and pestering of outsiders who didnt conform to the existing culture of that sub-group almost exactingly while also expecting passersby and new members to pay deep homage and respect to existing established members; a "cadre of entrenched personalities" effect which made a few highly regular members dominate most conversations and threads, which again reinforced the first symptom, and many others.

Years of research and work put into all facets of social media and internet behavior which doesnt readily happen in real life social dynamics, fascinating subject, truly.

So believe me when I say, there is far more of those typical internet social media problems and dynamics which BF certainly isn't immune to, than any actual Biblical, Christian or moral arguments against my proposals (which would actually really help poly men who come here! Its a shame you cant see that). This kind of thing happens everywhere out on the web, it was literally a core study topic at our startup (small, probably about 9 people at peak, but still legitimate).

So yeah, Im not impressed. Someone takes the time to come to your community and be engaging and honest (there are some writing me private messages accusing me of things now from my personal life? Whoa, crossed the line just now... not cool. more typical symptoms. I'll handle that in a min..........,) and show initiative to create a method that would help a lot of people, and get results, and still be inline with Christian morals and the bible, and whats the response? Well, social media/internet dysfunctional paradigms 101, more than any concrete objections, except maybe how "it sounds to this person", or "how it comes across to Jack or Jill". All highly subjective opinions or taste though.

Hey, if I keep getting this reaction, ill just leave. Im familiar with the Bible well enough (not as much as many here, granted) and Im an excellent researcher, so i will accumulate in short order exactly the information I need and go on to do outstandingly well with it. See, even if I did it on my own I would create such a body of knowledge to help me navigate the waters with monogamous Christian women better and get great results, because that's what I do. I am a competent agent in this world. Always have been. Bragging? yeah maybe, so what, its true.

So i will be fine, however this plays out.

But I think we both know that 49/50 young single poly-aspiring men who come on this site won't.

And i believe its the Christian thing to show empathy to others as Christ did and to help the meek in their simple needs? Hmm, something to think about while I debate internally whether to even bother here anymore. Because clearly you guys got everything figured out, no problems at all, all challenges already overcome, dont need any outside help, right? Right.... lol.

 

[FollowingHim]

Hmm, something to think about while I debate internally whether to even bother here anymore. Because clearly you guys got everything figured out, no problems at all, all challenges already overcome, dont need any outside help, right? Right.... lol.

Nobody's got everything all figured out. We can all learn from others. But not all suggestions are good ones.
A number of the more experienced men here have seen serious problems with the approach you have suggested. That has been pointed out.
You could choose to listen to this feedback in humility, and then discuss the precise objections in a calm manner, in order for us all to learn together (including you learning from us, not just us from you). Or, you could choose to preach at us then run if people don't immediately agree with your message. Your response is entirely your own decision.
I for one hope you will choose to humbly engage in conversation with us all, as we do with each other. But I won't pretend I agree with you in order to persuade you to stay, I'll be as honest about my opinions as I expect you to be about yours. Disagreement is a good thing, not a bad thing, as it causes discussion that all involved can learn from - if they are willing to.

 

[Phillip]

So many touchy people on this site, might not be worth it for me after all... Im not sure yet anymore.

There are so many condescending remarks in your post I have neither the time nor desire to address them all plus the fact they don’t deserve an answer to.

I will attest this site is not for the faint of heart. Scripture is used unashamedly in defense of views posted here. You would do well listening to the brothers on this site, instead of using depredating remarks as I have read. Personally, I have disagreed with certain things which brings up scripture. How can you argue with that? Even those I disagree with in certain things, well let’s put it like this, iron sharpens iron.

What I see is your cup is full. Try to empty it a little to put new insight into it or go thru life as you are.