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Divorce

Mikki, my heart breaks for you! Not just because divorce is heart wrenching but because I’ve gone through one myself, I was forced to choose between the safety of my children and my marriage. And despite what others here might think, I know I followed Gods will. There is always hope but you shouldn’t be afraid to trust God, even if you don’t like where He’s taking you. I pray God gives you peace in this time of hurting. If you need to talk to someone who will simply listen and not judge you, then feel free to pm me. I won’t advise you one way or another, only you know what God is saying to you.
 
Really sorry to hear the divorce is final Mikki. Praying the Lord will provide comfort and wisdom to you. May the Lord send you just the right people to talk and walk with.
 
rustysdove11 said:
Mikki, my heart breaks for you! Not just because divorce is heart wrenching but because I’ve gone through one myself, I was forced to choose between the safety of my children and my marriage. And despite what others here might think, I know I followed Gods will. There is always hope but you shouldn’t be afraid to trust God, even if you don’t like where He’s taking you. I pray God gives you peace in this time of hurting. If you need to talk to someone who will simply listen and not judge you, then feel free to pm me. I won’t advise you one way or another, only you know what God is saying to you.
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Great advice Sis! My wife was being hunted by her ex to kill her. Crazy story. Mikki, pplleeaassee communicate with Sisters that have been down your road too. All great relationships have Love. Love has 3 important attributes: Communication, communication, and communication. Then the 3 important attributes of communication are listening, listening, and listening. These sainted ladies will do just that. In this mission you are in, keep your eyes focused on His Vision for you; which is Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” You are not alone. Still praying for you.
 
Mikki G. said:
Hey all, so I dont want to go into deep details of my marriage but my husband had decided to divorce me. He feels that we have grown apart and no longer wants to be with me. So I'm fighting some major feelings of inadequacy. And I need some prayer.
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May Your Father who is in heaven send His comforter to give you an overwhelming peace so that you will even be shocked and amazed how it is possible to feel such peace.
 
Mikki G. said:
Hey all, so I dont want to go into deep details of my marriage but my husband had decided to divorce me. He feels that we have grown apart and no longer wants to be with me. So I'm fighting some major feelings of inadequacy. And I need some prayer.
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I'm praying God helps your husband to see his error, soften his heart and repent. May God heal your relationship.
 
So sorry you have to go thru this.
You know your situation. If it's over it is. False hope of someone coming back is not the way to go through your life.
People do grow apart. My first wife was my high school sweetheart whom I knocked up. But we thought we were in love so marriage was the thing to do.
As we matured it was painfully obvious we grew apart beyond repair. We had a child together so we sorta stayed in touch but from different states away.
Later I actually became friends with her and her new husband.
God does work in mysterious ways.
Stay busy, stay away from sad country songs, and do NOT think it was all your fault.
Move forward and grow into what GOD's purpose for you.
 
Mikki G. said:
Hey all, so I dont want to go into deep details of my marriage but my husband had decided to divorce me. He feels that we have grown apart and no longer wants to be with me. So I'm fighting some major feelings of inadequacy. And I need some prayer.
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Growing apart.... I don't fully understand when I hear that phrase mentioned. People grow apart only if they choose to believe that and allow it.

If I may suggest something. Being married for over 11 years I've gained some knowledge on my own behavior as a man at least. To me it sounds like your husband is displeased about something else but doesn't know how to present it to you so he's pushing you away in hopes to see a change or produce a reaction (testing you) . I don't condone this behavior but I know us men don't always know how to or want to talk about our feelings or desires out of fear of being seen week or even not accepted or respected as we desire to be. Some times men aren't aware of what we want, we just know we feel upset. He could have met someone else and is ashamed or doesn't know how to have both of you, or scared to even ask. Maybe he doesn't know about polgony.

Biblically your husband is allowed to divorce you if he finds unclenlyness in you but Jesus gives us husbands new commands on that. It's not your job to teach your husband but you can show him your Christ like behavior and win him back. I'd ask him for clarification on his reasons and don't be afraid to ask him what you could do to provide him with what he needs and desires. Be prepared for his answer and receive him with respect and kindness. I pray God directs his heart and gives you strength and patience as you wait on the Lord.
 
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Sean Miller said:
...He could have met someone else and is ashamed or doesn't know how to have both of you, or scared to even ask. Maybe he doesn't know about polgony.
....
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@Mikki G. wanted a polygamous family with her husband; she approached him about this in the past and he was not interested... she shared this in the forums in the past...
 
That is wonderful news!

Giving it your best effort is the only way to have real peace, no matter the outcome.....and seeking to do what is right makes the best outcome more likely.

I will certainly keep praying.
 
Mikki G. said:
Thank you everybody. So my husband has decided to go to counseling with me to try and save our marriage. Please keep us in ir prayers. Thank u
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Hi @Mikki G.

Great news that your husband has agreed to work on your relationship rather than casting you aside. I'm sure everyone here would love to read an update about how ya'll are doing together in the counseling process. If you haven't yet begun, though, be very careful about whom you choose to be your counselor. It never hurts, for example, to engage in introductory meetings with more than one counselor, much like an interview, during which you start off by ensuring that the counselor is someone who will be a champion for your values and goals.

I posted the following in another thread last night:

Keith Martin said:
I wholeheartedly agree with the value of seeking out opinions from a wide range of experiences -- and lack of such experiences. However, I offer myself as someone with whom one can reach out for a private conversation if you think my perspective could be of use to you personally, as opposed to sharing philosophical opinions publicly in these forums. Besides being a former psychotherapist and a former university student affairs professional, I am also a former long-time agnostic who rejected and 25 years later regained my faith in the Resurrection. In the middle of that quarter century of unbelief, though, I was divorced by my first wife, got remarried and then divorced my second wife, got remarried and was divorced by my third wife, and married my fourth wife (31 years ago), all in a 4-year period. And I have gone on to contemplate how to make peace with that in the context of being a now-serious student of Scripture. The only hint I'll give here is that I do not come close to excusing myself.
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This invitation was extended to everyone in Biblical Families. The only thing I want to add to it is that I myself was once a reluctant participant in marital counseling (with my second wife). The counselor repeatedly asserted his belief that any couple could create a successful and permanent marriage as long as both the man and the woman were committed to its success. He claimed that it wasn't necessary to know in advance how to do it but that the presence of commitment would be the insurance policy that, together, a couple would find all the solutions necessary to sustain the marriage. At the time, I thought he was an idiot, but I'm sure that my assessment was polluted by my ultimate intention to divorce my second wife. Over time, though, I had to recognize the wisdom of that marital admonition -- and as part of realizing that I had to take responsibility for why the marriage did not survive: I only had myself and my lack of commitment to blame.

Enjoy Fort Worth!

Keith
Grapevine High School grad
 
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