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Exodus 22:16-17: "pre-marital sex" = the beginning of marriage?

Marriage (chathan) is consumated by sex (shakab), consumation is not the marriage. If it was, there is no reason to call it marriage (chathan), marriage would be described instead just as (shakab). Betrothal would be unnecessary. The father would not be able to anull as he would have had that authority stolen from him. Yet he can anull because the rapist is not yet the husband. The daughter has not been given.

You cannot unconsumate, but you can divorce (kerithuth). Betrothal (aras) preceeds consumation, shakab can happen before betrothal in some situations, yet adultery only applies after betrothal or the giving of the daughter. Adultery does not apply to rape/seduction(shakab) nor prostitution(qedeshah)/harlotry(zanah), instead it is fornication (taznûṯ), except if the woman is betrothed or already chathan. Note it does not require that she have a child, therefore one flesh in this aspect does not require with child or to have bore child as a qualifier for being married.

Adultery is also the only reason for "divorce" without a git, and punishable by death for consentual parties. Divorce (kerithuth) can be applied with and without a bill. Only adultery allows for without a bill. Its worth noting kerithuth is from karath which is to cut a covenant, where kerithuth is to cut a marital bond.

Matthew 1:25, Joseph was going to divorce Mary, never having lay with her. You cannot divorce that which is not your's to divorce, which has not been given or promised to you. If sex = marriage, Joseph does not have the right by the law to divorce Mary as he had not had sex with her yet. Adultery is entirely based on the womans status of belongining. That status can start before sex. Marriage has to start at the giving or the promising. Adultery and divorce are two marriage only applicable concepts, both can apply pre sex and dont always apply post sex.

Interesting thought, the sons of gods took wives for themselves, I wonder if this was forced or agreed?
 
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