If you recognize that I'm saying it generally to not only single women but to married men seeking plural marriage as well, you're understanding me correctly. I have no problem with people being picky, but I also believe those who are too picky have no one but themselves to blame if their desire to be married is never fulfilled. Being picky is entirely righteous, but any too-picky individual who complains that life is unfair or that society is stacked against them or that the only available potential spouses are bullies or bitches is simply wrong. Those are the types of results that can always be predicted for those who are too picky, and it's legitimate to then label the person who is too picky but doesn't want to accept the outcome as (a) having overinflated his or her value in the marketplace, and (b) preferring the very loneliness he or she claims is unfair more than he or she prefers engaging in needed self-analysis.
Note that I made my statements very general. I don't know you personally, @LovesDogs, and I won't assume that the snapshots of you included in your forum threads participation create an accurate enough impression of who you are to make me believe I could direct any of the above to you specifically, but I do stand by what I've written as accurate generalizations. Generally speaking, people get exactly what they want, so the best way for a person to transparently make an accurate assessment of what he or she wants is to just look around: "What do I have in my life? Not just what belongings but more importantly what relationships?" What one sees in answer to those questions is a pretty darn accurate reflection of what one wants. If one claims to want something or some type of relationship, and it's not only nowhere to be found but very little evidence exists that one is turning over every stone to make it happen in the foreseeable future, then one is only lying to oneself by asserting that one wants it. There has to be some kind of evidence.
I challenge myself along these lines all the time, too, so don't think I'm just sitting here judging others. I haven't had two women in my life at the same time since 1993. Twenty-nine years is a lot of evidence that I clearly don't want plural marriage badly enough. I declared about 8 years ago that I intended to persuade my wife of its legitimacy and 6 years ago declared that I was actively seeking it. Since then I think it's safe to assert that I've cycled through various crises of conscience in the process, reassessed my original wish list too many times to count, and lowered my expectations tremendously -- to the point that not only do I no longer seek partners but am very cautious about even expressing interest when someone seems to have dropped into my life. Clearly, there is more work to go before I'm either a plural husband or formally give up on it altogether, but what has been altogether clear to me has been that I needed to lower my expectations.
