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Feminism and societal consequences

I noticed that Andrew's language as he speaks of The Way of Men is punchy and forceful, as are the reviews on Amazon, all of which suggests what the book does for a man's mind. If that's the Kool Aid y'all have been drinking, then I want some, too. I've ordered the book.

As always, I recommend buying through a local bookstore. They can get a title at essentially the same price as a big-box or Amazon, but your dollar continues to circulate within your community where it will do good for you and the people who matter to you.
 
marc4life: Very well said.

mystic: Oo-rah! Welcome aboard! And yes, yes, yes on local commerce (although I must confess that as a rural dweller I tend to use Amazon for books - I do what I can for the local economy, though, and after you've read the book you'll see how even THAT ties in to one of the reasons I recommend it).

Everybody: We have three topics in play here. I don't think we need to split off posts as much as just take a moment to re-orient.

The Vanishing Male: Nathan's original post and my follow up were meant to start an intelligent discussion of what the heck is happening to the male species, why, and what we can do about it, if anything. It should go without saying, but needs to be said every once in awhile anyway, that in the context of this forum, there's also a pointed application to polygyny and patriarchy, so if any group of men ought to be highly concerned about the anti-male trends in our culture and where we might be headed, it would be this group, right?

What is Truth?: Curtis's observation that the authors are homosexual (on top of the disclosure of that fact in the original article) was merely redundant, but the rest of the time spent arguing that that's a bad thing, and we shouldn't listen to anything they have to say raises some interesting questions about homosexuality (more in a minute) and truth (more right now). I think marc4life's post summarizes that whole truth subject about as well as anything that could be said, particularly for purposes of this thread. Whether someone is speaking truth or not depends on whether their words are true—that is, the truth value of their words depends on the relationship between the words spoken and the thing spoken about, not on any internal characteristics of the speaker.

Did you see what I did there? I said marc4life nailed it and then I just kept right on talking. Sometimes I just get carried away....

But seriously, marc4life DID say what needed to be said about that topic, and now my objective is to steer the conversation back to the original topic. If anyone has made it this far and has not read Nathan's original articles (or "article", in two parts), please consider going back and reading the articles. If you see things you disagree with, point them out here and let's discuss. If you agree with the observations in the article, we can discuss that too, and please consider getting the book and repeating the process. There's an important conversation we should be having about what is happening to men in this culture, and that's what we need to get back to.

[NB - This morning I took a second look at Curtis's post titled "Statistics" as well as a post on the Christian Polygyny facebook page regarding the difficulty of finding a second wife or a family to join (depending on your pov). A FRANK DISCUSSION OF THE OBSERVATIONS AND RECOMMENDATIONS IN THE ARTICLES AND BOOK RECOMMENDED ABOVE WOULD BE VERY, VERY HELPFUL AT THIS POINT FOR ANYONE THAT ACTUALLY WANTS TO >>DO<< SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND NOT JUST COMPLAIN ABOUT IT OR RIDICULE OTHERS.]

Christians v. Homosexuals: Sarah's post pulls out a third topic that is worthy of discussion, and has possibly/probably already been discussed somewhere on this site, which is something like "how should a Christian relate to someone that has openly rejected the teachings of scripture?", which is just a subset of "WWJD?". I believe that Sarah has said everything that needs to be said about that subject when it comes to manifesting the love of Christ, and her post gets an assist from marc4life's assertion that we should not be motivated by fear.

"God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a strong mind." "If God is for us, who could be against us?" Joshua and Caleb (v. those guys shaking in their boots).

Objection, cumulative!! I could go on with the proof-texting, but I think I've made my point. Again, while I think Sarah already dealt with that topic for purposes of this thread, my intention is to speak to those that are still just a little hesitant to move forward. You know, maybe you shouldn't read this stuff, but if you make that decision, acknowledge that your fear is a weakness that is not of God. Doesn't mean you're a bad person, just means you're not ready for combat yet. It DOESN"T mean that Nathan and I are bad guys for calling the adult males in this group to think long and hard about what the future looks like for our children and grandchildren if we aren't willing to step up and DO something about the forces lined up against us in this culture.

Now, if someone wants to continue to thrash out topics two and three (which are worthy of a good thrashing if you still have questions about either one), could we please start another thread? Meanwhile, the topic here is "Feminism and societal consequences". Consider my recommendation of the book tabled for the moment. Has anyone read the articles? Anything to say pro or con?

So far I think the only 'legit' response we've had is Samuel's observation that the class of men that is withdrawing from our culture is not the only problem, but there is also a predator class that is exploiting the vulnerabilities of women in our culture. The article author goes into discussion of PUA (pick up artist) culture, but I think there's more to it than that (and Donovan develops the topic further, but I think there's more to it than THAT, particularly from a particularly Christian pov). As Samuel and the authors point out, a lot of what's happening now is a sort of self-fulfilling doctrine. Men are becoming the losers and exploiters that feminists continue to say they are.

And it's relentless and it's everywhere. I went to a Christmas show featuring three of my children on Saturday. Couldn't make it through an hour and a half of children's music without a song about how all Santa's reindeer are really ladies and a skit that made fun of the husband/father (the horribly trite "men don't ask for directions" gag, among others). We are bombarded daily from every side with messages of male loserness or male danger. Any wonder so many men are giving up?

If you are even thinking about leading a polygynous family, these are issues of the highest importance. Please read the article Nathan posted and let's reboot this thread.
 
This is Curtis' wife, there is another side to this story and if you would like to know more you can contact him through my PM.

And to everyone else, both Curtis and I have enjoyed very much getting to know all the other members of this site and wish you well and hope we get to talk more as time goes by.
 
Meanwhile, dear reader, if you came to this topic thinking there would be a discussion of "feminism and societal consequences" at some point, and you've made it this far, congratulations! Feel free to contribute your thoughts on the topic of the thread, and if you read the article Nathan posted, share what you thought of it.
 
Here are some good works in reference to strengthening men to be men that are not written by a gay man. Although a gay man may have a unique perspective of life from his view of being a man, there are plenty of heterosexual men that teach the same message. If you prefer an alternative.

Some of these works are on my families reading shelf.
Sheila

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
John Eldredge (Author)

Mighty Men of Valor
by Dean Ridings (Author), Bob Jones (Author), Scott Ballenger (Author)

The Strength of Men
by James Oliver Curwood

The Strength of Male Tears: Men and Manhood in Crisis
by Richard P. Campbell (Author)

Four Pillars of a Man's Heart: Bringing Strength into Balance
Stu Weber (Author)

What Men Need to Hear: Becoming God's Spiritual Leader Through Moral Strength
by Rick Atchley (Author)

The Strength of a Man
David Roper (Author)

A Leader After God's Own Heart
by Jim George
 
Seriously, <name removed>? Wild at Heart?

I haven't read the other ones, so nothing to say about those. I do have a couple of things to say about WAH and this post.

First, it is ludicrous that you would suggest that any of these books "teach the same message" because you don't know what the message of The Way of Men is. You can say you just don't want to read anything written by someone you don't approve of, but you can't claim that his message is indistinguishable from someone else's if you don't know what his message is. Beyond that, I'm at a loss to understand why this is even an issue unless there is some substantive difference between what a homosexual man has to say and what a "Christian" man has to say. Which is it?

Second, the belief that anything published by a "Christian" writer is safe and righteous is even more dangerous than the idea that anything written by a non-Christian and/or homosexual is deviant and will lead you astray. Anyone considering reading Wild at Heart might want to take a look at the following: http://www.psychoheresy-aware.org/wahbkrev.html. I'm not attacking or defending WAH, I am only making the point that things are often not as simple as we would like them to be.

Third, I'll just throw in my two cents that any writer these days that is publishing for the Christian market is already catering to a heavily feminized population. Again, I do not speak here for BF, and there is no monolithic party platform, but speaking as myself, for myself, I would say that Wild at Heart is a great example of the kind of teaching that goes over great to a feminized group and is basically an exercise in preaching to the choir.

Finally, as always, if anybody has any real questions about this and wants any real answers, just read the first two or three chapters of the Donovan book and see if you want to keep reading. And even better if you've already read Wild at Heart back when it was pop: Read both books and tell me again why you think Christian men need more of Eldredge but should be afraid to read Donovan.
 
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In general, I would say reading something by a Christian writer is better than reading something from a non-Christian writer.

And I would not like my children to read anything written by a homosexual writer, ever. But when they are adult and mature, they can make that decision for themselves.

There is plenty of written material in this world, why keep pushing something written by someone living a lifestyle openly opposed to our Creator.
 
Andrew, <name removed> has put up a useful glossary for readers of this conversation to look into further. Thankyou <name removed>. Andrew, this is a constructive contribution to the discussion (whether or not others agree with it) and should be taken that way, the tone of your response is disappointing.

Thankyou also Andrew for your point that these do not "teach the same message", and the valuable background info on wild at heart. I note however that the primary objection raised in the review you link to is that it is too secular:
Wild at Heart is a notable example of the integration of secular ideas, theories, and practices with Scripture. As a result, clear Biblical teaching regarding the nature of man, how he should live, and how he changes is compromised, undermined, and obscured. This is not a reliable way of "Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul."
This is not a reason to reject it in favour of a book by an author that is entirely secular (e.g. Donovan). The whole point that Curtis and Ylop have been concerned about is that Donovan is secular rather than Christian. If we should not read "Wild at Heart" because it is too secular, we certainly shouldn't read "The Way of Men"! This is therefore beside the point.

The point that you have been making in this discussion Andrew is that Donovan has a good message, that Christians could benefit from hearing, and which you have not read in any Christian book.

If you recommend something I take that seriously, so I am adding the book to the list of ones I'd like to get through also. Some of the books <name removed> posts may also be valuable. I do agree that books targeted at the Christian market are often written to attract women buyers rather than men, because they're the actual market, I believe over 90% of such books are purchased by women to give to men, and most are then left unread... So many do have a feminised message. But again, that general principle isn't a reason to reject all such books, because some do have valuable content. You just have to be as careful to sift the good from the bad in the Christian market as in the secular one.


Ylop (& <name removed>), if your children ever read newspapers, secular novels, articles on the internet, mainstream school textbooks, statements by politicians... They've already read stuff by homosexual authors. Probably hundreds of times. But I'm sure their faith isn't dead yet. We need to teach our children to be able to sift the good content from the bad, regardless of the author. For instance, a homosexual libertarian politician may make good statements on taxation, and poor ones on morality - while a morally conservative Christian socialist may make poor tax statements but good moral ones. And if the homosexual politician proposed a public referendum allowing legal polygamy, while the Christian proposed 20 year jail sentences for polygamists, and your brother asked for a brochure outlining the best policy to support, what would you give him? The homosexual's brochure that allowed polygamy, or the Christian's that would forbid it? Would you decide based on the content, or the author's sexuality?

In what way is a leaflet discussing the legal status of polygamy different to a book discussing manliness? If Andrew has read a book by a Christian author that he disagrees with the content of ("Wild at heart") and a book by a homosexual author that he agrees with the content of ("The Way of Men"), which should he suggest we read? Should he decide based on the content, or the author's sexuality?

In both cases we must keep our brain working to sift the good from the bad, we must not reject everything one says and accept what the other says purely because of their beliefs on sexuality.

What sins are bad enough to cause us to reject everything someone says? Should we reject everything a Christian pastor says because he occasionally steals paperclips from the church office? If we have a book written by a Christian historian on the history of the Jewish state, that we find very helpful, then it turns out years later that he was actually a paedophile when he wrote it, or if years later he murders someone, do we now burn the book because it's suddenly become wrong? Everyone sins, including you. Should I reject everything that everyone on this forum says because I know we're all ultimately sinners even if I don't know what you've all done?


andrew said:
the belief that anything published by a "Christian" writer is safe and righteous is even more dangerous than the idea that anything written by a non-Christian and/or homosexual is deviant and will lead you astray.
Couldn't agree more.
 
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ylop said:
In general, I would say reading something by a Christian writer is better than reading something from a non-Christian writer.
ylop, there are choices we all have to make about how we filter the deluge of information that overwhelms us everyday. Suit yourself, but I have found most self-consciously "Christian" writing to be about on par with most self-consciously "Christian" music. And that's just the quality and style of the writing (or music), before you get to the content. Did you read the critique of Wild at Heart that I posted a link to?

ylop said:
And I would not like my children to read anything written by a homosexual writer, ever. But when they are adult and mature, they can make that decision for themselves.
Again, your kids, your call.

ylop said:
There is plenty of written material in this world, why keep pushing something written by someone living a lifestyle openly opposed to our Creator.
Because he nails it. More specifically, because I believe that any man here (or woman, for that matter) that reads the book will benefit from having read it, or else I wouldn't have recommended it so highly, right? (And remember, I've actually read the book, so I know what's in it.) If I need to write more about that, I will, but we are going on three pages here of me defending my recommendation, and I think I've said about everything I can say. You might want to go back and re-read the thread, and if you haven't read Nathan's original article or the article I linked to critiquing WAH then you really should.

ylop, my experience of you on this thread has been positive. You ask thoughtful questions and you are not afraid to say what you think. If you read the book and come back here and can honestly say that it did nothing for you, or will point out where you believe that Donovan is off track and potentially misleading and dangerous, then even if I disagree with your assessment I will refund you the purchase price of the book via PayPal.

That's me backing up my recommendation with a money-back guarantee. Can't do any better than that. ;)
 
FollowingHim said:
Andrew, <name removed> has put up a useful glossary for readers of this conversation to look into further. Thankyou <name removed>. Andrew, this is a constructive contribution to the discussion (whether or not others agree with it) and should be taken that way, the tone of your response is disappointing.
Samuel, you are giving <name removed> points for her bibliography, and I'm calling her out on the obvious logical disconnect in her argument. We have a little bit of 'apples and oranges' going on here, but you are moderator and I will check my tone. I have become frustrated with the "Black Knight" character of this whole discussion, but I don't need to let it show here.

<name removed>, I am genuinely sorry if my response hurt you in any way. As an apology (in the technical sense, and not to excuse my behavior), I was headed out the door to a holiday function but thought I had time to respond to your post, which was a bad call on my part. I'd like to think that if I were having a more casual evening you would have gotten a more congenial response, but we'll never know now, and what you actually got was a little raw. Please filter the attitude and just consider the rationale of my response.

FollowingHim said:
Thank you also Andrew for your point that these do not "teach the same message", and the valuable background info on wild at heart. I note however that the primary objection raised in the review you link to is that it is too secular:
Wild at Heart is a notable example of the integration of secular ideas, theories, and practices with Scripture. As a result, clear Biblical teaching regarding the nature of man, how he should live, and how he changes is compromised, undermined, and obscured. This is not a reliable way of "Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul."
This is not a reason to reject it in favour of a book by an author that is entirely secular (e.g. Donovan). The whole point that Curtis and Ylop have been concerned about is that Donovan is secular rather than Christian. If we should not read "Wild at Heart" because it is too secular, we certainly shouldn't read "The Way of Men"! This is therefore beside the point.
Depends on whose point is being made—it is not beside my point.

As I said above, I'm not here to bury or to praise Eldredge. My concern is with the the rather simplistic notion that anything from a writer who claims to be a Christian is "good" and anything from a writer who does not claim to be a Christian and makes no effort to live by Christian moral principles is "bad".

Your conclusion is a non sequitur. Here's what's really going on: Donovan is exactly who he claims to be, saying exactly what he means to say, and he makes no pretense of being something or someone he's not. Eldredge—a guy who claims to have "a gift and a calling to speak into the hearts of men and women"; that is, a guy who claims his teaching is anointed by God for Christians to hear—is being called out by another Christian for teaching a witch's brew of pop psychology and Christian jargon. It is in fact those writers who claim to be Christians teaching scriptural principles ("those who presume to be teachers") that should be held to a higher level of scrutiny by Christians, and Eldredge fails that test. Meanwhile, Donovan is just a guy speaking his piece about what it means to him to be a guy. It's the writer who presumes to teach us the word of God that we need to be wary of, not the one that is just giving us his opinion, clearly identified as such.

In that sense, ylop and Curtis are not just wrong, they're 180° wrong.

FollowingHim said:
The point that you have been making in this discussion Andrew is that Donovan has a good message, that Christians could benefit from hearing, and which you have not read in any Christian book.
As we say around here: "Yahtzee!" ;)

FollowingHim said:
If you recommend something I take that seriously, so I am adding the book to the list of ones I'd like to get through also. Some of the books Sheila posts may also be valuable. I do agree that books targeted at the Christian market are often written to attract women buyers rather than men, because they're the actual market, I believe over 90% of such books are purchased by women to give to men, and most are then left unread... So many do have a feminised message. But again, that general principle isn't a reason to reject all such books, because some do have valuable content. You just have to be as careful to sift the good from the bad in the Christian market as in the secular one.
Agreed. And good point about targeting the women for gifts. As I remember, wasn't WAH actually pitched to women as a way to understand men?
 
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I read the The Way of Men last week and then allowed a few days before writing this to see what passages or themes would, upon reflection, pop out as being notable about the book.

I like it.

I see it as having two halves, the first being discussions of strength, courage, mastery, and honor, which the author identifies as the four key virtues of manliness — manliness, that is, as it would have been recognized by the ancients such as Aristotle, Plato, and the writer of the Epic of Gilgamesh (the world's oldest known piece of epic literature), as well as men of every culture prior to the modern era (and some since). Virtues are considered here not necessarily in the modern sense of good things, but as the defining things of manhood, whether for good or ill. (Vir, the Latin root, meaning "man," also gives us the word virility.)

In the later parts, having established the virtues and their interplay within the essential male group dynamic, Donovan examines how these provide context for understanding present challenges and concerns, including feminism. He arrives at, among other things, a reminder that the latter expresses a domesticating urge that has always existed as part of the push-and-pull between men and women. The sky is not falling down.

The writer's recommendations, I would say, are that men hold the four virtues in their awareness, and that each man make concerted effort to identify other manly men around himself — men whom he knows he could "count on in a firefight" — and form bonds with them. Donovan's advice here is pointed and practical: The only way to truly sort out who's who and bond with those who will have your back (and you theirs) is to regularly get out with them — as guys alone — and do things.


What a fag, right? Sarcasm aside, though, I can say without reserve that I found it a worthwhile read, offering a coherent alternative to stupidly struggling against feminism and amorphous slogs of that sort. Taking it in hasn't exactly made my speech all punchy and forceful after all, but I suppose that's Andrew's mojo anyway, not mine.

[Edited Aug 2016 to add names of the four virtues, plus a few minor edits.]
 
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You're a pretty straightforward guy, mystic—don't sell yourself short. ;) I'm glad you found it worth your time.

I want to add this, though, for anyone that now thinks "hey, I don't have to read it now; mystic has summarized it for me!". There is so much more to the book than the broad (and accurate) overview mystic has given, as I'm sure he would attest. Particularly, I'm struck by how much of what we're taught in church is the way to be a good man is really just how to be a good person. Donovan makes a distinction between "being a good man" and "being good at being a man" that I think is worth the read.

What can make some of this seem a little foreign is that the masculine virtues Donovan lists (or as he sometimes calls them, the tactical virtues) relate to a primal struggle for survival that most of us have no experience with or understanding of. There are two ways in which this book could serve as a wake up call.

1. The feminist agenda never rests. We either start to recognize our political future as an ongoing struggle for the survival of the any time-tested concept of patriarchal masculinity and the political freedom to live the lives we choose, or we roll over and accept our future as neutered drones. That's a real struggle, with real consequences for apathy and denial. If you don't get this, you're part of the problem.

2. Our political/economic system is failing. The matrix (that's Latin for 'womb') that has all of us is falling apart. For a quick recap of where we are in America today, see, for example this link. For a more thoughtful analysis of the collapse of cultures throughout history, with implications for us today, check out this book, or just check out this Wikipedia entry (and then check out the book...). If you're not spending time trying to figure out how you will take care of the people that depend on you when the systems you depend on are not available, you are taking a BIG risk. Good luck with that.

No better time to start thinking about who your 'honor group' is and who has your back (and whose you're willing to watch).
 
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