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Have sooo many questions. Looking for support to not feel convicted.

L

LovingHimAlways

New Member
Female
I never once considered being a second wife. I have been a Christian my whole life. I have raised my children in the faith. I was taught one man & one woman period. That anything else was sin. However I now find myself wanting to commit to a man who is already married and join their family as their wife.

Long story short. This man & I have been in love since I was 12 and he was 14... I'm now 43. My family split us up in our youth but we always manage to find our way back to each other no matter the distance or time that passes. It's as if our souls are connected.

We have found each other once again. I filed for my divorce from an abusive spouse and am waiting for it to be finalized. He however is still legally married. Our connection is even stronger than the last times we were together. We are both completely in love with each other. His wife is disabled and needs care and assistance to help take care of her. Except for doctor's appointments she is basically home bound. There is no intimate relationship with them and there hasn't been for years. But there is still a bond and a strong friendship since they have been married for 27 years. She will not grant him a divorce to marry me because she is scared that she would be left alone. However she has agreed to let him take me as an additional wife and to live with them. She would stay in her room and we would stay together in his. I would help take care of her and the house while he was at work and then him and I would be together at nigh .

I realize this situation isn't a typical situation of multiple wives since i wouldn't have to share him intimately with her. Because of that there wouldn't be the normal jealousy issues that go with that.

Even though he would be committed to me and me alone and love, honor and cherish me as his wife. As a Christian I'm still feeling conflicted and convicted. Not because I think it's wrong... but fear that I would be looked down upon. Feel that I would have to hide my life from people in the church and people outside our home. I don't think my children would accept this situation.

His family already knows and is happy for all of us. They are happy for his wife because she will gain a friend and not be alone during the day. They are happy for him finally being able to be with the woman he's loved his whole life.

I guess my question is... does this type of plural marriage seem ok even though it's not typical? How do you all deal with people on the outside? What do you tell people if they tell you that you're living in sin and God will never bless you? I really feel this is the right choice for me. I just want to love and honor him as my husband and to help him in every way I can including being their for his wife who deserves a place of honor in his life. I don't feel any jealousy because I believe we are both 2 women in love with the same man in different capacities and she loves him enough to let him find love and happiness with me in ways she can no longer provide for him.

Am I just fooling myself into believing that this is what God has for me? That this is who I'm meant to be with? Am I just looking for justification for what is actually living in sin? How do you deal with this type of guilt while still holding on to your Christian faith?

Thank you all in advance for any advice and support you can answer.
 
LovingHimAlways said:
I never once considered being a second wife. I have been a Christian my whole life. I have raised my children in the faith. I was taught one man & one woman period. That anything else was sin. However I now find myself wanting to commit to a man who is already married and join their family as their wife.

Long story short. This man & I have been in love since I was 12 and he was 14... I'm now 43. My family split us up in our youth but we always manage to find our way back to each other no matter the distance or time that passes. It's as if our souls are connected.

We have found each other once again. I filed for my divorce from an abusive spouse and am waiting for it to be finalized. He however is still legally married. Our connection is even stronger than the last times we were together. We are both completely in love with each other. His wife is disabled and needs care and assistance to help take care of her. Except for doctor's appointments she is basically home bound. There is no intimate relationship with them and there hasn't been for years. But there is still a bond and a strong friendship since they have been married for 27 years. She will not grant him a divorce to marry me because she is scared that she would be left alone. However she has agreed to let him take me as an additional wife and to live with them. She would stay in her room and we would stay together in his. I would help take care of her and the house while he was at work and then him and I would be together at nigh .

I realize this situation isn't a typical situation of multiple wives since i wouldn't have to share him intimately with her. Because of that there wouldn't be the normal jealousy issues that go with that.

Even though he would be committed to me and me alone and love, honor and cherish me as his wife. As a Christian I'm still feeling conflicted and convicted. Not because I think it's wrong... but fear that I would be looked down upon. Feel that I would have to hide my life from people in the church and people outside our home. I don't think my children would accept this situation.

His family already knows and is happy for all of us. They are happy for his wife because she will gain a friend and not be alone during the day. They are happy for him finally being able to be with the woman he's loved his whole life.

I guess my question is... does this type of plural marriage seem ok even though it's not typical? How do you all deal with people on the outside? What do you tell people if they tell you that you're living in sin and God will never bless you? I really feel this is the right choice for me. I just want to love and honor him as my husband and to help him in every way I can including being their for his wife who deserves a place of honor in his life. I don't feel any jealousy because I believe we are both 2 women in love with the same man in different capacities and she loves him enough to let him find love and happiness with me in ways she can no longer provide for him.

Am I just fooling myself into believing that this is what God has for me? That this is who I'm meant to be with? Am I just looking for justification for what is actually living in sin? How do you deal with this type of guilt while still holding on to your Christian faith?

Thank you all in advance for any advice and support you can answer.
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Okay I haven't even finished reading your intro but wanted to say, "Girlfriend we need to talk because I'm in the EXACT SAME POSITION!" Feel free to Private message me anytime...really.
 
But seriously, you are processing through the exact same questions I did at the onset of my relationship with my husband. What you are doing is challenging your faith and paradigm in every conceivable way, but I believe with all my heart that it is God (I personally use His Hebrew name Yahweh) who is bringing you to this. I will say that it sounds like your future husband's first wife is being very gracious to him and you, and for that you can be truly thankful. You have an opportunity to serve and reflect His love in a unique way. What a testimony! If you would like to read a little of my situation, search a thread titled "ailing first wife". Blessings to you, and welcome to the forum! Great group of folks here!
 
Christ taught that a servant is not greater than his master. They hated and persecuted Him and so too shall we be hated and persecuted. The world today will never accept us, and that goes doubly so for Christians who claim God yet set their morals by the standards of the world. So resistance is something to be expected by nature of being a servant of God. If it's not over polygyny, it will be over something else. It is good to be the wife of a man, whether that is as the 1st or the 2nd wife. And it is a blessing to be hated and persecuted for something good. Concern yourself with the will of God, not the opinion of man.

Unless I'm missing something, I don't see anything wrong about the situation you are going in to. Nothing sinful about being a second wife (with or without state paperwork). You don't need the states permission to be married in the eyes of God. Is the guilt and conviction you feel because of opposition or because of what you read in the scriptures or what the Holy Spirit is telling you? As many here will testify, and as the many Bible resources here show, there is no condemnation or adultery in being the second wife of a man. Are you assured in your own conviction from your study of the scriptures that there is nothing sinful in being a second wife? If you haven't reached conviction based on the scriptures then study them while being led by the spirit (not your feelings for the new husband). If you find no sin in it, then rest assured in that regardless of peoples opinions. But if you do not have a conviction of faith (Rom 14:23) that this is a sinless path then I would recommend against it.

However, there may be another source for what you are feeling besides the poly issue that the Spirit is trying to reach you about. 1 Cor 7:10-13,39 teaches us that a woman is married to a man as long as he lives and she shouldn't leave him; but if she does, she must remain single or be reconciled. Christ echos this in Luke 16:18 and Mark 10:12 calling remarriage of a divorced woman adultery. So on the basis of the situation you are leaving (not the one you are going to) you are committing adultery (not because of poly, but because of remarriage). You might also be violating Deut 24:4 (literally or in spirit); though I am far less confident about that. So on the basis of this being remarriage after divorce yes, you are fooling yourself into believing this is what God wills.

This of course is not the universal view here and I'm certain some will pipe up to disagree, but I find the scriptures to be plain in the matter, even if they are not popular in this day.
 
rockfox said:
Christ taught that a servant is not greater than his master. They hated and persecuted Him and so too shall we be hated and persecuted. The world today will never accept us, and that goes doubly so for Christians who claim God yet set their morals by the standards of the world. So resistance is something to be expected by nature of being a servant of God. If it's not over polygyny, it will be over something else. It is good to be the wife of a man, whether that is as the 1st or the 2nd wife. And it is a blessing to be hated and persecuted for something good. Concern yourself with the will of God, not the opinion of man.

Unless I'm missing something, I don't see anything wrong about the situation you are going in to. Nothing sinful about being a second wife (with or without state paperwork). You don't need the states permission to be married in the eyes of God. Is the guilt and conviction you feel because of opposition or because of what you read in the scriptures or what the Holy Spirit is telling you? As many here will testify, and as the many Bible resources here show, there is no condemnation or adultery in being the second wife of a man. Are you assured in your own conviction from your study of the scriptures that there is nothing sinful in being a second wife? If you haven't reached conviction based on the scriptures then study them while being led by the spirit (not your feelings for the new husband). If you find no sin in it, then rest assured in that regardless of peoples opinions. But if you do not have a conviction of faith (Rom 14:23) that this is a sinless path then I would recommend against it.

However, there may be another source for what you are feeling besides the poly issue that the Spirit is trying to reach you about. 1 Cor 7:10-13,39 teaches us that a woman is married to a man as long as he lives and she shouldn't leave him; but if she does, she must remain single or be reconciled. Christ echos this in Luke 16:18 and Mark 10:12 calling remarriage of a divorced woman adultery. So on the basis of the situation you are leaving (not the one you are going to) you are committing adultery (not because of poly, but because of remarriage). You might also be violating Deut 24:4 (literally or in spirit); though I am far less confident about that. So on the basis of this being remarriage after divorce yes, you are fooling yourself into believing this is what God wills.

This of course is not the universal view here and I'm certain some will pipe up to disagree, but I find the scriptures to be plain in the matter, even if they are not popular in this day.
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This was my 2nd Marriage that I am in the process of a divorce. My first marriage I tried and tried and felt the most conviction about that divorce because he was also a believer. He would not / could not stay faithful and at the time I was too young and too involved in the church to even consider a plural marriage. It took me many years to get over that divorce and I walked away from my faith.

I married my 2nd husband during this time of rebellion and I knew this was not who God wanted me to marry as he was also an unbeliever. Over the 15 years of our marriage I felt convicted to stay with him as the unbeliever could be saved through his wife (not quoting exactly) however he became more and more abusive emotionally, mentally and physically. He mocked God in front of me and would belittle my faith . He stated bringing occult items into our home such as spells, ouija boards, items used for witch craft, e.t.c. the more violent he became I knew I had to leave because i honestly felt if he might kill me. I stayed prayed up for my safety and even now I have to look over my shoulder because his behavior is so irrational he might kill me before letting me go.

So for this marriage dissolving i honestly feel no conviction at all.

I am aware of the scriptures on adultery and remarriage and it ease something I struggled to come to terms with after my first marriage. I don't believe divorce is ever God's perfect will but I do believe it is his permissible will in some cases and since I don't think any one sin is greater than another I feel after my repentance I was forgiven and released.

So the feeling I have now I don't believe is based on my divorce. I guess my fear is that any sin can be forgiven with true repentance. However we have all agreed if I make this commitment in this new marriage it is meant to be forever. So if I wake up 3 years from now and suddenly feel like I'm living in sin because I'm not legally married I wouldn't want to break the vow I made to my new poly marriage.

I think it's more just trying to wrap my brain around what mainstream Christianity thinks is "normal" and poly marriage is looked down upon as an old testament practice. That when Jesus came he was to restore marriage as that between one man and one woman. But if I search my heart and in my prayer life i honestly don't feel conviction from the Holy Spirit about this new situation.

I think it's outside influences of what others will think about me that has me questioning things. Because honestly to me it feels normal, it feels natural, it feels like I belong in both of their lives. It feels as if this was where I was meant to be all along until i got derailed by an attack from the enemy (my second marriage) that was meant to either destroy my faith or kill me.

I admit I haven't studied all the scriptures on plural marriage. Is there a thread on here with the scriptures that support it so I can study them myself as you suggested.

Before I make a lifelong commitment I just need to study it a little more.

What I have with my possible future husband is more than just a feeling. It is something I've never experienced before. I am a very strong woman and I never been able to nor ever wanted to submit to anyone. But with him... having loved him my whole life... i feel at peace finally and for the first time I am not only willing but am wanting to submit to him. It's as if i was made to be his and everything that has happened was leading me to get to this point in my life.

I've already made 2 really bad decisions in my life doing what I wanted instead of what God wanted. I just don't want to possibly be making another mistake.

Thank you for your complete honesty it has given me other things to consider I hadn't even thought of.
 
Robhar said:
But seriously, you are processing through the exact same questions I did at the onset of my relationship with my husband. What you are doing is challenging your faith and paradigm in every conceivable way, but I believe with all my heart that it is God (I personally use His Hebrew name Yahweh) who is bringing you to this. I will say that it sounds like your future husband's first wife is being very gracious to him and you, and for that you can be truly thankful. You have an opportunity to serve and reflect His love in a unique way. What a testimony! If you would like to read a little of my situation, search a thread titled "ailing first wife". Blessings to you, and welcome to the forum! Great group of folks here!
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I will look for your post now. And yes his first wife is being very gracious but she also knows how much we love each other. Him and I have a very long history and there was a period in time where I was a threat to their marriage about 15 years ago. We were all at different points in our life then. I was unwilling to consider being a 2nd wife at that time. She had offered for me to move in all those years ago but I was much to immature and jealous to even consider it. Eventually I moved on and ended up miserable in an abusive marriage with a non believer.

So even all those years ago she was willing even though somewhat reluctantly to let me be in his life because no one not even her could deny the bond and the love he and I share.

Now 15 years later that love is even stronger than before as I'm finally willing to accept my place in his life as his second wife.

I just worry about what my children will say and the judgment of others in my family and in the church.
 
Shalom and welcome.

Certainly, there may be somethings you need to deal with/come to peace with regarding your previous marriages, and that is between you and the Almighty. There is simply the case that the water is under the bridge and there is no going back, even if you wanted to. Seek forgiveness and repentance before the Father and chalk it up as learning... the hard way.

As to plural marriage, there is nothing, as in ZERO in Scripture that condemns it. Truthfully, I have come to a place that I believe God intentionally uses it to bring sanctification and greater reliance on Him. Any awkwardness or condemnation you feel comes from a twisted Godless culture and church traditions that think themselves more righteous than His Word. I feel for them. Scripture says, 'Woe to them who call evil good and exchange righteousness for unrighteousness.' The church supports divorce, promiscuity, gay marriage, abortion, etc, but reject polygyny. SMH!

May Yah bless you in your journey. Move slow. Worry not about what man thinks, focus on what God says and walk in His paths for righteousness sake.

Blessings.
 
PeteR said:
Shalom and welcome.

Certainly, there may be somethings you need to deal with/come to peace with regarding your previous marriages, and that is between you and the Almighty. There is simply the case that the water is under the bridge and there is no going back, even if you wanted to. Seek forgiveness and repentance before the Father and chalk it up as learning... the hard way.

As to plural marriage, there is nothing, as in ZERO in Scripture that condemns it. Truthfully, I have come to a place that I believe God intentionally uses it to bring sanctification and greater reliance on Him. Any awkwardness or condemnation you feel comes from a twisted Godless culture and church traditions that think themselves more righteous than His Word. I feel for them. Scripture says, 'Woe to them who call evil good and exchange righteousness for unrighteousness.' The church supports divorce, promiscuity, gay marriage, abortion, etc, but reject polygyny. SMH!

May Yah bless you in your journey. Move slow. Worry not about what man thinks, focus on what God says and walk in His paths for righteousness sake.

Blessings.
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Thank you for your reply. It brought me some peace in reading it. I thunk the problem is unfortunately the modern church uses scripture to push their own agenda and we often lose the truth in their translation... if that makes sense. I had gotten to a place where I would trust what I heard from the Holy Spirit providing it did not go against scripture. I've been on a path of reevaluating what I once believed for a while now. 20 years ago I would not have even considered PM because I was taught against it. However now I'm realizing that everything I was taught in church was not necessarily truth.
 
There are many good resources on this, both in the discussion and front pages. Another place with many resources is https://natsab.com/biblical-marriage/ Much there to help you find truth and defend yourself.
 
PeteR said:
There are many good resources on this, both in the discussion and front pages. Another place with many resources is https://natsab.com/biblical-marriage/ Much there to help you find truth and defend yourself.
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I'd encourage you to read the articles here at Biblical Families and the great resources Pete has at the link above. It'll take you a while to read it all but it's worth every minute. Shalom
 
So your first husband was a polygamist, trapped in a monogamous marriage? I think there may be good reason for feeling conviction about this. I wouldn't ignore that conviction, because it very well may be from the Holy Spirit, prompting you to return to him. Of course, you have to also take into account Deut 24, that says that if he were the one to divorce you, he cannot take you back as his wife. I don't know if the reverse is applicable, though. Also, you stated that you never were able to submit to anyone, and that is true in your own strength, because you are dealing with a spiritual battle here. That probably did not bode well with first hubby, although I think you said that you stayed with 2nd hubby, in order to win him, without that submission, it totally won't work either. I can only advise you not to ignore the Holy Spirit, in whatever way He prompts you, and I encourage you to keep studying and praying for God to reveal to you how you should work this out.

If you can reach out to your 1st and 2nd, invite them to check out biblicalfamilies.org. Of course we welcome this other man as well, as his FW. Welcome to our corner of the internet! You never know what you will learn from those of us who either are already practicing poly, and from those of us, who are hoping to do so one day.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
So your first husband was a polygamist, trapped in a monogamous marriage? I think there may be good reason for feeling conviction about this. I wouldn't ignore that conviction, because it very well may be from the Holy Spirit, prompting you to return to him. Of course, you have to also take into account Deut 24, that says that if he were the one to divorce you, he cannot take you back as his wife. I don't know if the reverse is applicable, though. Also, you stated that you never were able to submit to anyone, and that is true in your own strength, because you are dealing with a spiritual battle here. That probably did not bode well with first hubby, although I think you said that you stayed with 2nd hubby, in order to win him, without that submission, it totally won't work either. I can only advise you not to ignore the Holy Spirit, in whatever way He prompts you, and I encourage you to keep studying and praying for God to reveal to you how you should work this out.

If you can reach out to your 1st and 2nd, invite them to check out biblicalfamilies.org. Of course we welcome this other man as well, as his FW. Welcome to our corner of the internet! You never know what you will learn from those of us who either are already practicing poly, and from those of us, who are hoping to do so one day.
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From my study of scripture, returning to her first husband is out of the question. And the fact that her 2nd was involved in the occult disqualifies that option as well. I have a little experience in this department and that's all I will say about that right now. We can always repent and ask forgiveness, but often reconciliation is just not possible. But prayer is! So pray fervently, and if the opportunity comes to have a face to face with those you have wronged, then be ready with a humble heart to have those conversations. Yahweh can and will orchestrate some amazing things!
 
I would agree with you about 1st hubby, if he divorced her, but I am always interested in your study of Scripture.
 
I know this has been discussed in other threads, but I cannot recall which ones.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
So your first husband was a polygamist, trapped in a monogamous marriage? I think there may be good reason for feeling conviction about this. I wouldn't ignore that conviction, because it very well may be from the Holy Spirit, prompting you to return to him. Of course, you have to also take into account Deut 24, that says that if he were the one to divorce you, he cannot take you back as his wife. I don't know if the reverse is applicable, though. Also, you stated that you never were able to submit to anyone, and that is true in your own strength, because you are dealing with a spiritual battle here. That probably did not bode well with first hubby, although I think you said that you stayed with 2nd hubby, in order to win him, without that submission, it totally won't work either. I can only advise you not to ignore the Holy Spirit, in whatever way He prompts you, and I encourage you to keep studying and praying for God to reveal to you how you should work this out.

If you can reach out to your 1st and 2nd, invite them to check out biblicalfamilies.org. Of course we welcome this other man as well, as his FW. Welcome to our corner of the internet! You never know what you will learn from those of us who either are already practicing poly, and from those of us, who are hoping to do so one day.
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Honestly my 1st Husband was not merely a polygamist... I believe he did and does still have a type of sexual addiction. It wasn't that he had a long term affair with someone he fell in love with or even had feelings for. He would simply have sex with whoever he wanted whenever he wanted. I met him when I was 14 and he was 16. I got pregnant at 15 and married at 16. Had all 3 of my children by the time I was 20. I forgave the affairs for the sake of saving my marriage until I couldn't anymore. By the time of the divorce there were probably over 40 different women he had sex with in the course of our marriage. I actually went through Christian counseling before and during my divorce. My divorce took a total of 2 years not because we were fighting but because I deliberately hired a Christian attorney who at one point stopped the filing to see if there was a possibility of reconciliation. So to say that I tried I really really did. Since the divorce he has had multiple girlfriends and has already been remarried and divorced and he never changed his ways. He still pretty much has sex with whoever he wants. I don't think he would even be satisfied with a plural marriage. He is the type of man who always wants someone new I suppose... honestly not really sure what his deal is exactly. During that marriage I was as much of a Godly obedient wife as I could be when married to an irresponsible man whore who left me to take care of the home, the children and financially support us as well. To say we got married to young is an understatement. But even if we would have waited it would not have changed who he is. I kept trying to wait to see if be would grow out of it or get it out of his system but he is now 46 and he is still the same exact way.

When I say I never wanted to or was able to fully submit. It does not mean that I was a feminist type wife. I wanted my husband's to lead. But unfortunately they were not able to for different reasons. In both marriages I ended up being the primary financial provider. However I never held the money over either of them. I even gave my 2nd husband full control of the bank accounts and the bills and didn't ask any questions.

My first marriage lasted 9 years and my second marriage almost 15. I don't feel like I just gave up and ran away at the first sign of trouble but there comes a point where you can no longer put your own life at risk. My 1st was having unprotected sex that I am thankful God protected me during considering even during his cheating I never once denied him sexually. My 2nd choked me on multiple occasions and threatened to kill me, my children in front of me, and my entire family.

I still prayed for his salvation and for a long period of time was walking in faith. I did submit to him as much as I could at that point in my life. However it felt forced.

With my new possible husband it doesn't feel forced. It feels natural it feels normal and it is a desire in my heart to submit and serve him not because I'm supposed to but because I desire to do so. That was the difference I was trying to point out ... the difference between doing so because it's expected and doing so because it is truly the desire of your heart.

Thank you for your honest feed back but honestly husband #1 could have 10 wives and he would still cheat.
 
Robhar said:
From my study of scripture, returning to her first husband is out of the question. And the fact that her 2nd was involved in the occult disqualifies that option as well. I have a little experience in this department and that's all I will say about that right now. We can always repent and ask forgiveness, but often reconciliation is just not possible. But prayer is! So pray fervently, and if the opportunity comes to have a face to face with those you have wronged, then be ready with a humble heart to have those conversations. Yahweh can and will orchestrate some amazing things!
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I have forgiven and made peace with my 1st Husband. There was a short period of time we even discussed reconciliation. We agreed to seek counseling together to see if it was even a possibility. I made the appointment.... he never showed up. I kept going for a while to see if he would attend but he never did and during that time I found out he was partying, drinking, clubbing, doing cocaine and still having sex with a different girl every night.

So after that I knew I had made the right choice and finally felt fully released from that marriage.

The 2nd husband... I honestly feel no conviction at all for leaving. I truly believe he was a plan from the enemy to kill and/or destroy me. But what was meant for evil God can use for good and I did learn and grow during that time which is why I'm even open to the idea of being a second wife at this point in my life which I honestly feel I should have done 15 years ago when it was first presented as a possibility.
 
Wow! Ummm, that's insane! How do your children feel about all this? I'm pretty sure they understand.

What is it that makes you feel so convicted? Clearly, #2 might as well have divorced you, since he endangered your life. Introducing #3, has a potential of provoking #2, for lack of a better word, into putting you and #3, on the evening news, in not a good way, if you know what I mean, so you will definitely need to be cautious about this, for reasons outside of Scripture. I would still encourage you to get all parties to check out Biblical Families. We want to help in any way that we can.

EDIT: WOW! Cocaine! That's messed up.
 
Tell #2, that Dan from Biblical Families said that he should be put to death for what he did. I don't think that failure to accomplish a murder you attempted to commit, should exempt a person from Capital Punishment. I want him on here, so we can discuss this.

Tell #1 that his drug habit is a shortcut to happiness, and is a replacement for hard work where you cam reap the rewards of diligence and those rewards don't go away when you come down from your drug induced high. Instead of spiraling downward, he should be focusing on doing the things that will bring lasting happiness, like spending time with those children. Also, if any of those women he has been messing around with, have a husband, we know that God will judge the fornicator and the adulterer, and sleeping with a married woman, is clearly defined in scripture, as adultery, punishable by death. Not only that, but drug users have been known to get girlfriends hooked on drugs, and sometimes, those girlfriends get all cleaned up, and then one interaction with the old boyfriend, and they get right back hooked on those drugs, and those girlfriends have been known to overdose, which we all know, can be fatal. This man may have blood on his hands. He needs to get on here as well.
 
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Hi, and welcome to Biblical Families!

The bible can be very black and white, but life, unfortunately, is grey. Some people choose only to read black and white, others understand that our life is a mess and full of sin and difficulties and at some point we need to figure out what to do right now, rather than what we were doing in the past.

You have two failed marriages on your hands. I know you tried, and I know that your husbands had faults, and still do. But it's very rarely one side that breaks up a marriage, there are two sides to every story.

So, before you get remarried, plural or not, you need to make sure you are aware of your part in the breakdown of your previous marriages, and how you can make sure that doesn't happen again. What do you need to do, how do you need to change?

We have a ladies chat on Monday evenings, 730pm Eastern time. I will be there today, and it would be wonderful if you would join us. The chat is at the top of the page.
 
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