Yeah, Romania, where she preached this sermon, was pretty much a welfare state. They hated Coommunism, because they were under it, but a lot of people there were still dependent on the government. This was before we got married, when she was still in college, which was like 25 years ago.Naturally, ladies have problem because she told them, no freebies from church.
In practice these freebies would be financed by men* and woman would have no obligation toward men**. Naturally, woman can easily be financed by man by being good wife. But that means obligations.☠
(Emoticons from ladies perspective).
*Financial analysis says women are tax-negative for states, while men are opposite. I see no reason why it should be different here.
**You see same issue with welfare state
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Hello from Colorado Springs
- Thread starter Chris H
- Start date
At this time I am not pastoring but debate on biblical basis isn’t an issue. I fell into this as an attempt to prove to myself biblically that my feeling of longing to take care of this other woman and her children was in fact leading to adultery. I’m am by no means a theologian but I am astute in my exegetical study habits and will dig for the truth until I’m utterly convinced of it. I didn’t expect it to be so clear that God not only describes but prescribes polygyny throughout scripture but not only that He uses it repeatedly to advance his kingdom, bring the children of Israel back from their wicked turning to idols and establish the lineage of Yeshua. For my own life, if this is the path Yahweh is leading me to then I am willing. My wife is still coming along at a much slower pace and the other woman wants life together but doesn’t understand this concept. One step at a time and the first was the revelation for myself, next will be my wife then if God wills the rest will fall into place.
Have you already been expelled?
Haha, I was actually but not for this reason. The last church I was pastoring in I called out the senior pastor for preaching a heretical hyper grace doctrine. Basically that there was no need to live righteously because we are saved by grace, therefore we can live in blatant sin and still be saved. That was 10 years ago. I have since been focusing on my business. Nothing to do with polygyny, hierarchy or any other doctrine.
That being said, shortly after I was let go, the elders removed the pastor for this. I have just returned to this church which is under new leadership, a very godly man and close friend who was another pastor on staff while I was there. We were both brought up under the same mentor in the faith. It has been a restoration period for me. I am not on staff or in position at this time. This discussion has not come up and in this setting would not likely be entertained as it is a very large church. I can say the he and I both have a longing to discover the truth in the word, however, this is not a topic that determines one’s salvation so it is a secondary doctrine outside of the core of covenant relationship with Jesus.
OK, so we shall see what happens, and you still are in a position where you can float the idea of debating someone like Dr Luck!
TNOvercomer
Member
Amazing, Chris! Thank you so much for sharing!
Update:
While my wife has been open to understanding that polygyny is not sin, (She holds a Masters degree in theology so she actually studied it) she said “it’s not for you” We have gone through a year of jealousy and growth (painful), and realization that she doesn’t love herself. She has been incredibly hard on herself as she’s gotten older. She is in perimenopause and that’s a crazy difficult roller coaster. We’ve been working through hormone treatments and they have helped but in the process I have laid down the idea of bringing in the other woman and not mentioned it.
This weekend L (the other woman) called me concerned about my wife. Wanting to know why she has been so jealous. The truth is Jen is going through a season of not liking herself, feeling like she isn’t enough. L absolutely loves my wife. Their relationship is so much closer than any other my wife has ever had. They are already closer than sisters and raise all of our combined 8 kids like they are their own. L then said she want to move in with us and be one family. I was shocked as I haven’t talked to her about this at all. I’ve intentionally not brought it up because I want to honor my wife and not cause distrust. I talked to L yesterday and asked her to clarify so that I didn’t read into it incorrectly. She said “I want to be your wife and you to be my kids father, I love J and the kids and I want to be one family”
I’m still kind of in shock as I had almost completely laid this down. They were originally the ones to bring this up, I was actually very convinced it was sin but wanted it. That’s where I started really digging into it through scripture hoping to confirm my sin. Well that purpose went south pretty quick.
Anyway, now all of the sudden everything is coming back around again. I asked my 19yo daughter what she thought. She’s incredibly mature and we have all gone over the idea through the Bible together. She said “I wish mom would stop being so jealous, she would love this so much. I just don’t know why she doesn’t see it”
How do I move forward? I will honor my vow to my wife, I have faithfully for 25 years. L also won’t break that trust. Because I love my wife so much (still madly in love with her) I don’t want to force her hand.
Prayers would be appreciated as I walk forward in patience.
While my wife has been open to understanding that polygyny is not sin, (She holds a Masters degree in theology so she actually studied it) she said “it’s not for you” We have gone through a year of jealousy and growth (painful), and realization that she doesn’t love herself. She has been incredibly hard on herself as she’s gotten older. She is in perimenopause and that’s a crazy difficult roller coaster. We’ve been working through hormone treatments and they have helped but in the process I have laid down the idea of bringing in the other woman and not mentioned it.
This weekend L (the other woman) called me concerned about my wife. Wanting to know why she has been so jealous. The truth is Jen is going through a season of not liking herself, feeling like she isn’t enough. L absolutely loves my wife. Their relationship is so much closer than any other my wife has ever had. They are already closer than sisters and raise all of our combined 8 kids like they are their own. L then said she want to move in with us and be one family. I was shocked as I haven’t talked to her about this at all. I’ve intentionally not brought it up because I want to honor my wife and not cause distrust. I talked to L yesterday and asked her to clarify so that I didn’t read into it incorrectly. She said “I want to be your wife and you to be my kids father, I love J and the kids and I want to be one family”
I’m still kind of in shock as I had almost completely laid this down. They were originally the ones to bring this up, I was actually very convinced it was sin but wanted it. That’s where I started really digging into it through scripture hoping to confirm my sin. Well that purpose went south pretty quick.
Anyway, now all of the sudden everything is coming back around again. I asked my 19yo daughter what she thought. She’s incredibly mature and we have all gone over the idea through the Bible together. She said “I wish mom would stop being so jealous, she would love this so much. I just don’t know why she doesn’t see it”
How do I move forward? I will honor my vow to my wife, I have faithfully for 25 years. L also won’t break that trust. Because I love my wife so much (still madly in love with her) I don’t want to force her hand.
Prayers would be appreciated as I walk forward in patience.
God works in mysterious ways, doesn't he! I will be praying that God will give you supernatural wisdom to identify the root of the hurt/rejection/lie that holds your wife' heart/mind captive. May you be the spiritual leader she needs at this time to be free.
This is why what you are working towards will work. I will keep you in prayer for your success!
This is one way to take away from the foreignness of the prospect. Act like a family. Show your Mrs that you can indeed multitask without shortchanging her.
Might I suggest vacationing or a few road trips?
These are rarely ever overnight projects. Many families have fallen into a biblical family by just being around each other so much that it becomes natural.
Yes we have a large house on 5 acres. It would be a full house with 10 of us but yes. Originally that was the plan but once it moved beyond a conversation that when the jealousy really hit. That conversation stopped there. Last week my wife brought that up again. L has a few major surgeries an heduled annd will need help with the 4 kids annd recovery. This weekend L mentioned it was her desire. My wife brought it up, I was actually shocked but this is how it goes. She says that, I start the process then she flips with the fear and jealousy.
That’s the plan. It’s odd now that she has expressed this. I honestly never discussed it with her so I was actually surprised. I feel like it’s more confirmation but now that it’s in the open between the two of us, I feel kind of guilty keeping it from my wife. I don’t keep secrets from her but I’m sure this would blow up in a bad way. She’s just not there yet.
We have been doing this for a year. We had a 10 day vacation planned this summer but L and her kids coming fell through due to a health issue with one of the kids.
I love having all the kids, taking them to go do things. I’m taking everyone to the pumpkin patch and corn maze this Saturday. We even (at my wife’s suggestion, bought a vehicle that can seat 12 so we can all travel together.
All the pieces are there. Logistical issues and the family dynamic is all there! To me it’s perfect, I love it. It’s just the fear and jealousy that’s holding things back.
I’m not a woman, but I’d say fear is the bigger issue. It’s fear of losing what she has, even if you’re not going anywhere. It’s not giing to be what it was.
Ok, it’s becoming more clear to me that the enemy is running interference.
I suggest that you pray and ask for direction on how you need to proceed.
Possibly binding spirits of jealousy, fear?
Too many things are falling into place, but not working out. I am not inclined to believe that Yah is orchestrating this just to torture you.
But in the meantime, it is torture. Grab all of the growth that you can from the experience.
I suggest that you pray and ask for direction on how you need to proceed.
Possibly binding spirits of jealousy, fear?
Too many things are falling into place, but not working out. I am not inclined to believe that Yah is orchestrating this just to torture you.
But in the meantime, it is torture. Grab all of the growth that you can from the experience.
Absolutely! What’s interesting is that a few weeks ago I was struggling with wanting it but feeling it’s all falling apart. I prayed that if it’s supposed to be that God was going to have to move the pieces and make it happen.
There is other things going on as well, I’m shutting down my business which brings financial uncertainty, but it has been a prison to us. This week alone I had a call from another business owner and he wants to buy all of my equipment and take the shop space. Then today another business owner I do a lot of work for came in to offer me a job that’s way out of our physical capacity and when I told him I was shutting the shop down he offered me a position with his company on the spot to come in and run his fabrication shop and sit as COO of his company. Doors are opening that only God could open. I see Yahweh’s hand in all of it.
I have been there too, but with a sisterwife for the last 4 years. There is a thread here in the Ladies section " does anyone else's emotions rape them" I think it is called, that gets into the crazy realities of feelings that can happen. Usually in my experience what helps the most is just being able to share or talk about whatever it is. It loses alot of strength when it is out in the open instead of just building pressure stewing in a heart and mind. I remember a time in the first few months when hubby and I were getting home and we passed my sisterwife heading out on our dead end road. Hubby stopped to talk for a few, and she had eyes only for him. She didnt look at me, talk to me, nothing. I get it, but things like that can cause problems if you take it personal.
I recently heard about boron and the many impacts it has on the body. I am linking an article here, and I am definately including it in my supplements and have been since early August. Absolutely no bad effects for me...at a rate of 3/8 tsp or more per day. Another article I read likened that mineral to the orchestra conductor. The orchestra might still play without it, but much is lost. The other aspect that the not shared article brought out was that boron reversed malathion damage in mice and healed damaged kidney, liver, and brain tissue too! I could go on, but just read the article please...and share it with your dear wife.
I am praying for you all through this.
Thank you for this. I would love for her to talk to other women about this but she has been very closed off about that. Tonight I took the girls (3 pre teens
) to youth group. They were spending the night at Ls house. I picked them up and took them over there, all the 6 little kids are having a sleep over so I went in to say goodnight. I was back on the road in 15 minutes. When I came home I walked into a slew of anger and accusations. We’ve spent the last three hours hard discussing, talking and praying. I’ve expressed my heart for wanting all of us to be one family, no beating around the bush, my wife became angry. She’s afraid. Said she didn’t want to share me. I understand those feelings, those fears. I’m trusting God to bring peace to the situation. Walking gently and trying to approach her with nothing but love.