• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Hello from the owners of ModernPolygamy.com

@modi almost forgot to ask. Do you have a time limit on how long messages are saved from a conversation? I ask because on a different site the messages seem to just disappear after 6ish weeks. Given that some women visit these sites haphazardly it can mean lost connections. Also to be honest, there have been times (plural) where I think 'hey, I like what she says in her profile and seems to have a good attitude...but didn't I already shoot her a message before? Or did I intend to and not do it? Hmmm

You get the point. It ties in with the ability to filter people out. If you shoot a message and you can see that they visit regularly, but never reply...should filter out so as not to chase your tail on the matter.
 
frederick said:
It's interesting you would say that as I met my wife through answering a question she posted on a Christian forum. I saw her question, read the answers being posted, and decided to write an answer from a more accurate biblical foundation. It was through that simple question and answer we started our communication leading to her becoming my second wife.

I've commented in the past that forums may be better places to "meet" potential spouses because you're interacting with people on topics they and you are already interested in or concerned about.
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And Bingo was his name-O.
My ex second wife and I met on a similar forum to this one. She commented on something I said and we just got to talking and never stopped till we got together in person a few weeks later.
Similar situation with another ex ...er fiance I suppose. She Sasser me in a chat and then went and sassed a bunch of my forum posts. I sassed her back and then we were together fairly soon.
 
frederick said:
It's interesting you would say that as I met my wife through answering a question she posted on a Christian forum. I saw her question, read the answers being posted, and decided to write an answer from a more accurate biblical foundation. It was through that simple question and answer we started our communication leading to her becoming my second wife.

I've commented in the past that forums may be better places to "meet" potential spouses because you're interacting with people on topics they and you are already interested in or concerned about.
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Good points, but as @ModernPolygamy said, forums already exist. It's not exactly a large target audience at present (unfortunately), and more forums in this narrow topic area may simply dilute the participation rate in any of them. I agree many people will meet on forums, and still more will meet in real life - but others will meet on dating sites. What is missing is a decent polygamy dating website, and it sounds like @ModernPolygamy have been trying to fill that gap. They don't have to do everything, they may be better to focus on doing one thing well - just as we would be better focussing on doing a different thing well.
 
James Pease said:
I'm not interested in the dating world myself, but what's your subscription price? Just one level or multiple?
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Just one level at $35/Month.

NickF said:
@ModernPolygamy, how many members are active on your site currently?
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Everyone likes to focus on a total (just over 4k) but it's misleading as what matters is active. 545 couples/men and 224 women have logged on in the last 30 days.

paterfamilias said:
Lol. Dude...maybe it is just our different perspectives but women almost never write more than a couple of sentences for a profile and the couples look at couples profiles out of curiosity more than women bother to look at couples.
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Actually, the women that write less are generally more likely to be fake or just testing the waters and poking around anyway. The ones that actually write a decent profile are the gold (both from a personal standpoint and from a site owner standpoint) and they will absolutely check your profile if you write them a decent message and have a decent main profile picture.

I think that our conversation points out that there is more than one way to go about it, but it's also worth considering that other sites have or attract different people as well. Now the more r/Polygamy (forgiving the platform it's on) could get hopping, that would probably be a useful thing and venue.
 
paterfamilias said:
@modi almost forgot to ask. Do you have a time limit on how long messages are saved from a conversation? I ask because on a different site the messages seem to just disappear after 6ish weeks. Given that some women visit these sites haphazardly it can mean lost connections. Also to be honest, there have been times (plural) where I think 'hey, I like what she says in her profile and seems to have a good attitude...but didn't I already shoot her a message before? Or did I intend to and not do it? Hmmm
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No time limit. Messages stay until you delete the conversation. If a woman wonders off for 6 months and then remembers she's got an account, it's waiting for her.
 
@ModernPolygamy
Well, I jumped on set up a profile.
Couple of thoughts...

* there is not nearly as much gradation as needed in frequency of drinking. Rarely to several times a week is not a great choice to make as neither describe not just me but I will wager a huge chunk of the population.

* the second is more of a question. When one is a paid member, is there the ability to do a search with your own criteria selected or is it still simply a browse with no means of filtration?

* I am all the more convinced of the need of a forum or chat or something to allow one the opportunity to stand out by dint of something beyond photos. I might potentially manage to talk some silly woolen headed woman into thinking I am somewhat charming. Perhaps charming enough to override the resemblance to Harambe...but there is next to no chance of that if she is just scrolling photos. Reading conversations will act as an impetus to look at a profile that would have otherwise be skipped.

Perhaps I should consider looking at the off site forum you referenced moderating and post a bit there with a link to my profile in aid of trying to get women to take an interest but I rather wonder if that is not just the equivalent of posting ones dating profile for general consumption for whomever might pop in...including the malicious and we have certainly seen that in the polygamy environment as I expect you will agree having been at this a while.
 
paterfamilias said:
@ModernPolygamy
Well, I jumped on set up a profile.
Couple of thoughts...

* there is not nearly as much gradation as needed in frequency of drinking. Rarely to several times a week is not a great choice to make as neither describe not just me but I will wager a huge chunk of the population.

* the second is more of a question. When one is a paid member, is there the ability to do a search with your own criteria selected or is it still simply a browse with no means of filtration?

* I am all the more convinced of the need of a forum or chat or something to allow one the opportunity to stand out by dint of something beyond photos. I might potentially manage to talk some silly woolen headed woman into thinking I am somewhat charming. Perhaps charming enough to override the resemblance to Harambe...but there is next to no chance of that if she is just scrolling photos. Reading conversations will act as an impetus to look at a profile that would have otherwise be skipped.

Perhaps I should consider looking at the off site forum you referenced moderating and post a bit there with a link to my profile in aid of trying to get women to take an interest but I rather wonder if that is not just the equivalent of posting ones dating profile for general consumption for whomever might pop in...including the malicious and we have certainly seen that in the polygamy environment as I expect you will agree having been at this a while.
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1. As a non-drinker, I think you're right. Ideas? Perhaps:

Never
Rarely
Socially
Regularly
Daily
Fish


2. When we launched the site we had no filtration as we were starting from zero. Over time, we have been tightening up filtering. Currently, it's simply region of the world and a loose age range based on your profile settings. The next step, after getting a little bit more growth under our belt, will be an "advanced" search box where you can optionally search with your own tighter settings.


3. I can see the appeal, but still think a well written profile will get you just as much attention. We are, however, thinking of some more participatory possibilities but don't want to get into much as it's still in the bouncing it around stage.
 
I created an account and checked out your site.

Overall it looks pretty good. I am impressed with your coding and artistic skills if you created it all yourself and did not use a canned package.

It would be nice if I could just search for those within a day's driving distance and not those all over North America. I have been on the net too long to trust anything or anyone that I can not verify in person.

The quality of the posts seemed very good. I noticed very few that looked like scammers or bots.

So far it looks like your site is the best of the available choices and I hope you get the support you need and continue to improve it.
 
ModernPolygamy said:
1. As a non-drinker, I think you're right. Ideas? Perhaps:

Never
Rarely
Socially
Regularly
Daily
Fish


2. When we launched the site we had no filtration as we were starting from zero. Over time, we have been tightening up filtering. Currently, it's simply region of the world and a loose age range based on your profile settings. The next step, after getting a little bit more growth under our belt, will be an "advanced" search box where you can optionally search with your own tighter settings.


3. I can see the appeal, but still think a well written profile will get you just as much attention. We are, however, thinking of some more participatory possibilities but don't want to get into much as it's still in the bouncing it around stage.
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1. Socially is likely the best option. In my case I might goo weeks without anything and other periods it is wine three times a week or sometimes three or four days in a row really suck at work and you want a bourbon when you get home. Most people tend to vary a fair amount. This is an area where I can speak with some authority. Former sommelier, former liquor store owner and did several other jobs in the industry.

2. Glad to hear an advanced search is in the works. The more parsimonious the better.

3. Not expecting to persuade you at this point but you seem to not be seeing my primary point. Why do you think they are looking at my profile at all? I think my profile on your site is pretty good honestly. You tell me if I am wrong, if I am then I want to correct that fact "FamilyFocused". The thing is though, it may be great or terrible but where is the incentive to look at it at all?
The larger competitor allows us to see who has viewed my profile. 90% of the females are gone in a day ie scammers and bots. Far more looks at my profile are couples and men.
Before they took away the forum, women checked out my profile regularly because they saw me as active in conversations...they had a chance and reason to see me. Another pic of a grumpy looking middle aged guy out of dozens is attracting nobody. Trust me.
The ability to catch their attention other than with any of our ugly mugs has got to be there.
 
The new options for drinking are now live! We went with "fish" for the top level. Thanks for the feedback!

cnystrom said:
I created an account and checked out your site.

Overall it looks pretty good. I am impressed with your coding and artistic skills if you created it all yourself and did not use a canned package.

It would be nice if I could just search for those within a day's driving distance and not those all over North America. I have been on the net too long to trust anything or anyone that I can not verify in person.

The quality of the posts seemed very good. I noticed very few that looked like scammers or bots.

So far it looks like your site is the best of the available choices and I hope you get the support you need and continue to improve it.
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Thank you! Everything is 100% from scratch. While I don't have any known artistic skills, my wife helped point me in the right direction and that helped tremendously.

We will be notching down to being able to search by state in the future, which should help quite a bit.

Thank you, we try to run a tight ship and are dedicated to it. There will always be some leaks, but it won't be for lack of trying.

paterfamilias said:
3. Not expecting to persuade you at this point but you seem to not be seeing my primary point. Why do you think they are looking at my profile at all? I think my profile on your site is pretty good honestly. You tell me if I am wrong, if I am then I want to correct that fact "FamilyFocused". The thing is though, it may be great or terrible but where is the incentive to look at it at all?
The larger competitor allows us to see who has viewed my profile. 90% of the females are gone in a day ie scammers and bots. Far more looks at my profile are couples and men.
Before they took away the forum, women checked out my profile regularly because they saw me as active in conversations...they had a chance and reason to see me. Another pic of a grumpy looking middle aged guy out of dozens is attracting nobody. Trust me.
The ability to catch their attention other than with any of our ugly mugs has got to be there.
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Ah, but that is my point. We are not that competitor and our members browse. Not everyone, because some women that are just kicking tires just create a profile and wait for messages, but anyone serious is browsing profiles. Anyone else, you might as well skip that conversation anyway.

I say this seeing the data. If you're staying active and have a decent main picture, you're going to get views. From there, it's just if your other pictures and profile can hold them and get them to message....or open the door for you to get a reply when you message.

Speaking of which, since you asked...I would say that your profile is much too long. I have a tendency to make ours verbose and my wife always made me trim it down, but you outdid me. :) It's not bad, it's just too long by 30-50%.

On the other side of that coin, you've got 1 picture which will guarantee almost zero action. If you whittle the profile down and then upload 6+ non-grayscale photos of you and your family, then you've got something going.

My $0.02. ;)
 
ModernPolygamy said:
The new options for drinking are now live! We went with "fish" for the top level. Thanks for the feedback!


Thank you! Everything is 100% from scratch. While I don't have any known artistic skills, my wife helped point me in the right direction and that helped tremendously.

We will be notching down to being able to search by state in the future, which should help quite a bit.

Thank you, we try to run a tight ship and are dedicated to it. There will always be some leaks, but it won't be for lack of trying.



Ah, but that is my point. We are not that competitor and our members browse. Not everyone, because some women that are just kicking tires just create a profile and wait for messages, but anyone serious is browsing profiles. Anyone else, you might as well skip that conversation anyway.

I say this seeing the data. If you're staying active and have a decent main picture, you're going to get views. From there, it's just if your other pictures and profile can hold them and get them to message....or open the door for you to get a reply when you message.

Speaking of which, since you asked...I would say that your profile is much too long. I have a tendency to make ours verbose and my wife always made me trim it down, but you outdid me. :) It's not bad, it's just too long by 30-50%.

On the other side of that coin, you've got 1 picture which will guarantee almost zero action. If you whittle the profile down and then upload 6+ non-grayscale photos of you and your family, then you've got something going.

My $0.02. ;)
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Re the length...
You should have seen it before a significant trimming. It was about three times the size.
While I realize the truth of the notion that most women looking are just browsing and not willing to spend a lot of time on a profile...I have a difficult time imagining that I would have reciprocal interest in someone treating this process as a whim or a casual flicking through a catalog.
Not sure that getting more potential messages from women who are more apt to be attracted to say two paragraphs is any more likely to find another love of my life.
 
ModernPolygamy said:
The new options for drinking are now live! We went with "fish" for the top level. Thanks for the feedback!


Thank you! Everything is 100% from scratch. While I don't have any known artistic skills, my wife helped point me in the right direction and that helped tremendously.

We will be notching down to being able to search by state in the future, which should help quite a bit.

Thank you, we try to run a tight ship and are dedicated to it. There will always be some leaks, but it won't be for lack of trying.
Click to expand...

OK. After using the site for a day or so, I see a serious problem. No one has written to me! I was expecting a long list of female admirers. Even the puppy picture is not working. The only thing I can figure is that I am being blacklisted.
 
cnystrom said:
OK. After using the site for a day or so, I see a serious problem. No one has written to me! I was expecting a long list of female admirers. Even the puppy picture is not working. The only thing I can figure is that I am being blacklisted.
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It must be a conspiracy.
 
cnystrom said:
OK. After using the site for a day or so, I see a serious problem. No one has written to me! I was expecting a long list of female admirers. Even the puppy picture is not working. The only thing I can figure is that I am being blacklisted.
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In your bio just put down that you are a brain surgeon, 60% of the time it works every time 👍🏻
 
ModernPolygamy said:
We started the site because my wife and I had been looking for years and feeling like there were no sites where we felt like we really had a realistic possibility of finding what we hoped for. In the end, we decided that if we truly wanted what we said we wanted then we were going to have to make a site to allow that to happen....for us and a lot of other people that were in the same boat.
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Just curious. Has owning a polygamy dating site helped you and your wife find another wife? :)
 
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