Hi everyone! I'm new!

[Christopher Huggins]

If the fundamental concern that has drawn you in this direction is a desire to have children, if you haven't checked out the Billings method of natural family planning yet, do look it up. Might not help, but it would be fun to experiment.

And welcome!

Also, if when you do broach the subject more strongly Lisa gets worried that this evil bunch of polygamists has tried to persuade you to take another wife, do point her back to this thread and the fact that both @Daniel DeLuca and myself have actually encouraged you to find the answer to this particular issue within monogamy, with her. Our focus isn't polygamy, but marriage, and that first and foremost means her marriage to you. It might also hypothetically include discussing another marriage with us at some point in the future, but that's only a possibility, while your marriage to her is a certainty.

I completely agree! We've done just about everything short of going to a fertility specialist. The main issue, we believe, is she has a severe hormone imbalance and will menstruate non-stop. The year we got married she did so for 2 years and months straight. It'll get better for a time, and then get bad again. We've discussed possibly finding a surrogate if it's possible, however i kinda think that's a little unfair to the surrogate to carry said child, develop those maternal feelings and whatnot, only to take the child once it's born. And unfortunately we can't afford adoption. Originally, she's the one who broached the topic of polygamy, but we weren't in a good place with our relationship. So, we concentrated on us. Now, our relationship and marriage is the best it's ever been, and i SHOULD feel fulfilled and content, but i don't. I feel like i should be able to offer the same love and support that i do with Lisa to another. Saying that, again, makes me feel guilty. Like I'm failing as a husband because i want to love another in addition to Lisa. I also believe that she rejects the prospect of polygamy now that we are doing so well as a couple. Its all a big complicated mess.

 

[Daniel DeLuca]

Well as long as you are honest about the fact that this is a desire God has placed upon your heart, patience and getting her involved in a group like this, are the best approaches that you can take. That was one of the hardest things for me, was getting my wife to be even willing to talk to one of the wives here, but now those two are like peas in a pod! We went to lunch with her and her husband yesterday, and had great fellowship with them as always, and we spent some time trying to plan activities that we could do together. Find someone here on Bib Fam that lives in or near Omaha, and meet with them!

 

[Christopher Huggins]

Well as long as you are honest about the fact that this is a desire God has placed upon your heart, patience and getting her involved in a group like this, are the best approaches that you can take. That was one of the hardest things for me, was getting my wife to be even willing to talk to one of the wives here, but now those two are like peas in a pod! We went to lunch with her and her husband yesterday, and had great fellowship with them as always, and we spent some time trying to plan activities that we could do together. Find someone here on Bib Fam that lives in or near Omaha, and meet with them!

That's a wonderful idea! Thanks!

 

[cnystrom]

Hi! My name is Christopher, but y'all can call me Chris. I'll be 31 next month, and my wife of 8 years will be 29 in December. We have known each other our whole lives and grew up together. We are originally from Mississippi, but moved to Omaha, NE in 2018. I am currently a Home Health Aide pursuing a career as a nurse and my wife (Lisa) is the General Manager of a uniform store.

Welcome from a fellow Christopher!

We don't know much about polygamy, and I think I'm slightly more interested than her.

There is no reason to be in a hurry, unless God has already pointed out someone for you.

We've discussed the possibility of finding another woman to add to our family for a couple of reasons. We have been unsuccessful getting pregnant for the entirety that we've been together (10 years) and we both want kids. I find myself with a strong desire to love others as much as I love Lisa. I'm slowly realizing that the guilt I feel for wanting more than just Lisa isn't entirely warranted, however I still feel bad for it.

I do believe your guilt is misplaced. As long as your are fulfilling your role as a husband and father, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Wanting more and a greater blessing is a manly attribute.

Should parents feel guilty for wanting more children? No, of course not.

I don't know how to accurately explain my interest and curiosity towards polygamy, it's almost like I'm being drawn to it.

Maybe God is calling you?

I'd like to be the first to say I'm glad to meet everyone and i look forward to hearing from y'all!

I am glad you found us and I hope we can be a blessing to you and your family!

 

[cnystrom]

Well as long as you are honest about the fact that this is a desire God has placed upon your heart, patience and getting her involved in a group like this, are the best approaches that you can take. That was one of the hardest things for me, was getting my wife to be even willing to talk to one of the wives here, but now those two are like peas in a pod! We went to lunch with her and her husband yesterday, and had great fellowship with them as always, and we spent some time trying to plan activities that we could do together. Find someone here on Bib Fam that lives in or near Omaha, and meet with them!

And if there is no one around you go to a retreat if you can!

P.S. We had a good time, too.

 

[aineo]

Welcome, Chris!

 

[julieb]

Greetings! So glad you found us. I hope the guys here will be a good support to you in your beginning musings. Please encourage your wife to join in when she is ready. We love new ladies!

 

[AlexaH]

Greetings and Welcome Chris,

I will reiterate what was already said about not rushing. I know from experience going slow produces the right response. Secondly, the wife bringing up Polygyny is probably a lot more in your favor and I think talking to her now that you both are in a good place in your relationship is a lot better then the reverse. Hope that you both find the support and understanding and encouragement you need here.