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Home Birth
- Thread starter WifeOfHisYouth
- Start date
Anxiety and fear are your worst companions. I think I posted earlier on this thread about fear making one of my labours much worse.
Breathe out the fear. Focus on YHWH. Pray heaps. Keep in mind that labour is a very small part of having a child, compared to the entire pregnancy and then raising a child. And contractions themselves are an even smaller part.
YHWH designed labour really well. We have these contractions and they start out small so we can deal with them easy, and slowly get more intense so we get used to them and it gives time for the hormones to build up.
We get a rush of hormones which actually provide pain relief. (Side note, this is why I hate those stupid men try childbirth videos with things strapped to their stomach and women laughing at them, it's not at all the same without the hormones for the poor guys).
Your body will instinctively know what to do and what position is best, if you allow it. With all my babies that were posterior I stood and rocked from side to side during the contractions. I only found out recently that that rocking actually helps babies to turn by opening up your pelvis, and helps to bring them lower too. I didn't know that, I was just doing what my body wanted me to do.
We have breaks between the contractions in order to catch our breath and focus again. It may be only a minute, but that break is super important.
Then, just when we get to the point that we think we can't do it, that's transition, that's another rush of hormones that's allowing your body to open up the final bit and get you ready to push. And boy do we want to push at that point!
Imagine if we started off with contractions super intense, no hormones, and had to start pushing straight away. It wouldn't work, it would be so much harder on us. The fact is that labour is perfectly designed, just like all of YHWH's creation. He designed your body to do it perfectly, and your mind to be able to cope well. You've done it before!
Where problems with labour arise is usually when we as humans decide to intervene with YHWH's perfect system. We think we should be strapped to a bed so we can't move. We think we should have pain relief which interferes with our own hormones. We add our own issues.
This is something you can definitely do. You are such a strong woman. You are not alone in this. You have a wonderful husband who will be there with you, and an impressive God who created you and your child and understands all you're going through. Both with lead you, both will guide you, both will love you through everything.
Breathe out the fear. Focus on YHWH. Pray heaps. Keep in mind that labour is a very small part of having a child, compared to the entire pregnancy and then raising a child. And contractions themselves are an even smaller part.
YHWH designed labour really well. We have these contractions and they start out small so we can deal with them easy, and slowly get more intense so we get used to them and it gives time for the hormones to build up.
We get a rush of hormones which actually provide pain relief. (Side note, this is why I hate those stupid men try childbirth videos with things strapped to their stomach and women laughing at them, it's not at all the same without the hormones for the poor guys).
Your body will instinctively know what to do and what position is best, if you allow it. With all my babies that were posterior I stood and rocked from side to side during the contractions. I only found out recently that that rocking actually helps babies to turn by opening up your pelvis, and helps to bring them lower too. I didn't know that, I was just doing what my body wanted me to do.
We have breaks between the contractions in order to catch our breath and focus again. It may be only a minute, but that break is super important.
Then, just when we get to the point that we think we can't do it, that's transition, that's another rush of hormones that's allowing your body to open up the final bit and get you ready to push. And boy do we want to push at that point!
Imagine if we started off with contractions super intense, no hormones, and had to start pushing straight away. It wouldn't work, it would be so much harder on us. The fact is that labour is perfectly designed, just like all of YHWH's creation. He designed your body to do it perfectly, and your mind to be able to cope well. You've done it before!
Where problems with labour arise is usually when we as humans decide to intervene with YHWH's perfect system. We think we should be strapped to a bed so we can't move. We think we should have pain relief which interferes with our own hormones. We add our own issues.
This is something you can definitely do. You are such a strong woman. You are not alone in this. You have a wonderful husband who will be there with you, and an impressive God who created you and your child and understands all you're going through. Both with lead you, both will guide you, both will love you through everything.
I know what that is like too, and with my last I really had to make a conscious choice to not worry. Fear and faith are like flip sides of the same coin. When we fear, we are not having faith, and perfect love (which is what God has for us) casts out fear. Focus on the truth, and count your blessings, and everything else is do able.....including childbirth.Thank you for the reminder, Jolene. That really is the best preparation. I get so wrapped up in thinking about the upcoming birth in the last few weeks of pregnancy. And thinking about it just leads to anxiety for me...
Switch your brain. It's not about not thinking about it, it's about thinking about it in a positive light. If you're panicking over the pushing part, remind yourself what it was like the moment your previous children came out and you got to hold them for the first time, for example.
Have you heard of birth affirmations? Often people do this for home births, where they write down positive things to focus on and put them where they'll be labouring. You could write down bible verses, reminders that your body knows what it's doing, YHWH is in control, you can do just one more, etc. You can take these to the hospital if you're giving birth there, or pin them up around your house. If you put them up around your house now then you can spend time getting these positive thoughts into your head before labour comes.
Have you heard of birth affirmations? Often people do this for home births, where they write down positive things to focus on and put them where they'll be labouring. You could write down bible verses, reminders that your body knows what it's doing, YHWH is in control, you can do just one more, etc. You can take these to the hospital if you're giving birth there, or pin them up around your house. If you put them up around your house now then you can spend time getting these positive thoughts into your head before labour comes.
Yes! Be at peace and trust your body and your Father.
Stay upright and follow what your body is telling you to do. You've got this and you have lots of ladies praying for you.
<3
Stay upright and follow what your body is telling you to do. You've got this and you have lots of ladies praying for you.
<3
Thank you, WOHY. Sarah, I've been meditating on what you said about God creating labor and birth to make it easy(ier) for women. Definitely a perspective I'd never looked at before. Right now I'm also deliberating about pushing positions. What do y'all think? It's weird how this is my 7th but I still feel like such a novice. (I guess that's just my personality?) Oh yeah, I've only had babies in the hospital, on my back, how they direct you...
I had my twins in the hospital but the rest of my babies were born at home. You just let your body tell you what position is best and that means sometimes on your back, sometimes on all fours, sometimes squatting. There are no rules! (-:
I totally agree, there are no rules in childbirth- your body shows you what position to be in.
My first birth was in the hospital, once I hit "10cm" I was coached to lay on my back/side and push (my body was screaming to be in a different position but I listened to what the doctor wanted me to do)- my body never felt the "urge to push" and my delivery was hard on my body.
This last birth I was never checked for dilation and I labored how my body told me to. I labored on a yoga ball thru transition while my hubs squeezed my hips during contractions. During the peak of my contractions, I just visualized before I was pregnant when I was jogging a lot and how I knew I could make it around the last half of the track. I knew I could dig a little deeper and then the contraction let up. I took one contraction at a time. Once I got up to move, my water broke and baby was on his way. My body took over and I didn't even need to be coached to push, my uterus did all the work, he was born within minutes while I was standing in the bathroom. He was larger by a pound than my first but I didn't have any damage. I almost felt like I could have been one of the ladies that picked up her baby and kept working in the field after giving birth.
Your body is beautifully designed and God has given us the ability to know what we need during the labor process.
And in the end, you have a beautiful baby in your arms.
John 16:21
A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
My first birth was in the hospital, once I hit "10cm" I was coached to lay on my back/side and push (my body was screaming to be in a different position but I listened to what the doctor wanted me to do)- my body never felt the "urge to push" and my delivery was hard on my body.
This last birth I was never checked for dilation and I labored how my body told me to. I labored on a yoga ball thru transition while my hubs squeezed my hips during contractions. During the peak of my contractions, I just visualized before I was pregnant when I was jogging a lot and how I knew I could make it around the last half of the track. I knew I could dig a little deeper and then the contraction let up. I took one contraction at a time. Once I got up to move, my water broke and baby was on his way. My body took over and I didn't even need to be coached to push, my uterus did all the work, he was born within minutes while I was standing in the bathroom. He was larger by a pound than my first but I didn't have any damage. I almost felt like I could have been one of the ladies that picked up her baby and kept working in the field after giving birth.
Your body is beautifully designed and God has given us the ability to know what we need during the labor process.
And in the end, you have a beautiful baby in your arms.
John 16:21
A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
Plenty of women give birth on their backs. If you're happy with that and it works for you then that's great, stick with it!
It is actually one of the most difficult positions for women to birth in because they're pushing uphill and it doesn't allow your pelvis to open up as much as it could to allow baby to pass through. This is why it is normally easier to be in a different position, but as said above there are no rules and you just do what your body wants you to do.
My first I was in the hospital on my back on the bed and I could not push him out that way. I ended up with a forceps birth and was only moments away from a c-section. With all the others I push baby out while on my knees. My hands are up holding onto something, the back of the bed, the side of the pool, or a dining room chair. I kind of push backwards and down. Once I get into transition I go down on my knees somewhere and that's where I'm staying until baby comes out. Nothing could move me. There's no more walking around and rocking, I have to be in that position. That's what we mean by doing what your body wants to do, and what feels most comfortable. If you allow it and don't interfere then it's quite instinctual.
I don't feel the urge to push. My body does not naturally push my baby out. I don't know why this is. I know I'm fully dilated when I feel a change in pressure and get like a metallic taste in my mouth and I 'feel' different (I can't explain that, sorry.). So my body does tell me it's time. I find it hard to push because I want to still rock during contractions and rocking and pushing don't go together so I have to fight to keep still and concentrate only on pushing. It's the same with every single labour, and with every one I have questioned whether I'm ready to push. With every one I have wanted to be checked to see if I'm fully dilated and I can. With every one I question and wonder if I'm doing the wrong thing. I still have doubts. With my last labour I had already started pushing before the midwife arrived, yet when she walked in I asked her if she could check me and see if I was fully dilated, lol! She took one look at me completely naked, drenched with sweat, and gripping onto the chair for dear life and told me to just go for it ha ha! So I think even with having had plenty of children, it's normal to feel like you're unsure, like you're a novice, and question everything.
I have had all mine at home, with the freedom to walk or labor any way I wish, and I prefer to just recline against the wall, or labor in a recliner once labor gets intense. When I had our youngest, we were planting an orchard, and so I walked around and helped lay things out for the first several hours of labor, just pausing every few minutes when another contraction would happen. I went and got a shower, and then kicked back in my room for the last six hours or so. Labor may have been faster, if I stayed up and walked, but I really don't care! Lol no one could prove it either way now, can they? ? ...and I enjoyed the births.
I had zero back labor with my babies, and it was easier for me to stay relaxed during labor just leaning back, but still sitting up.
For me, if someone (besides my husband) told me I HAD to get up and walk around, I'd probably tell them where to go.....unless they had a darned good logical/medically sound reason. Probably why I have never wanted a midwife. I don't want someone else telling me when to push, or not push, or when we need to go to the hospital because she is afraid something might be wrong. Third stage has varied with our babies from so fast we had not even cut the cord, to well over two hours, but I had zero complications with either extreme. My baby sis had people in the hospital get impatient, pull the cord and cause a hemorage, then she needed a blood transfusion.
So do what feels right, and let's your body work.
I had zero back labor with my babies, and it was easier for me to stay relaxed during labor just leaning back, but still sitting up.
For me, if someone (besides my husband) told me I HAD to get up and walk around, I'd probably tell them where to go.....unless they had a darned good logical/medically sound reason. Probably why I have never wanted a midwife. I don't want someone else telling me when to push, or not push, or when we need to go to the hospital because she is afraid something might be wrong. Third stage has varied with our babies from so fast we had not even cut the cord, to well over two hours, but I had zero complications with either extreme. My baby sis had people in the hospital get impatient, pull the cord and cause a hemorage, then she needed a blood transfusion.
So do what feels right, and let's your body work.
The only pain I feel is that cervix stretching. My contractions might stay five min apart clear up to transition. When they get more intense, I can tell things are open enough, and I do a few "test pushes."
When pushing takes the edge off the pain, and feels good, I push! At that point I am usually a few contractions (ten to fifteen minutes) away from holding a baby. This is when I start smiling. I have two sisters in law that get nauseous at transition.....I get HAPPY!
Sarah, I never feel the urge to push either. I just figured it was that position (and fear). I usually welcome the coaching of the nurses/docs because I don't feel like I know how. Now laboring I do fine doing my own thing and what "feels right."
This is how I want to be!!!
- I love babies! I've had 5 home births too each one is so different. #4 went so fast that rusty had to catch her because the midwife (who live 10 mins away) didn't make it. and then there was #5, he holds the record for being the longest and hardest labor I've ever had. As for advice, I like to stand in a hot shower till it's time to push. And have your favorite food stocked in the fridge.... I'm always ravinous after giving birth
I forgot to come back here and post a follow up to my birth! It was AMAZING. And FH2 and Jolene, I thought about your words a lot. FH2, I had the urge to push this time. And Jolene, I got happy!
My water broke at 7 in the morning. Zec came home right away. No contractions though. He picked up our oldest girl from school so she could already be here to watch the younger when we did go to the hospital. The midwife wanted me to come on down even though I was not having contractions. I waited a few hours, had a few good ones, and decided that, what the heck, might as well go on down before they got too strong. (My last baby that the waters had ruptured the labor was 2 hrs so I was thinking when it did start, it would be fast). We checked in and hung out, walked around the grounds quite a bit. It was all so relaxing and fun. Still no regular contractions. I stayed on a birthing ball for the most part because it was fun and comfy, lol. My family came in to bring Dad some supper and they were all surprised that there was no baby yet. Everyone thought it'd be much quicker. About 9 or 10pm the contractions finally kicked in. Especially getting up to use the bathroom, they would be super strong and I would hurry up and get back on the ball. Hehe. Throughout the intense ones I kept my focus on a song lyric (Rest Easy by Audio Adrenaline) "I'll take your burdens if you'll take my grace." It was as if right at the peak, God said "let me have that" and whisked them right away. At one point, I got the distinct impression that He was saying, "see, this is what Pure Love is." (I never claim to have spiritual insight, words from God, etc, so that was really neat). The last time going to the bathroom, I felt the pressure and asked to be checked. I don't think they believed I was that far along because the rest of the day had been so chill. 
But when they laid me back I knew for a fact I was definitely in transition. I told them I wanted to be on my side. And felt like pushing. They said start out with a few practice pushes. Haha. The doc didn't even get there in time. Side pushing was great (I had a midwife friend tell me to try it). I was up and about nearly right after, no tears (which is only the second time...I tore/episiotomy with the first 5). Zec said I was the most alert and "with it" with this baby than the others. It was such a wonderful time of reflection, enjoying all the little moments, letting God minister to me. I said right after "now that I could do again." 
Oh, and Rustysdove, I could barely make it 'til breakfast! I had all the peanut butter and graham crackers I could stand! Best. Eggs. Ever. 
My water broke at 7 in the morning. Zec came home right away. No contractions though. He picked up our oldest girl from school so she could already be here to watch the younger when we did go to the hospital. The midwife wanted me to come on down even though I was not having contractions. I waited a few hours, had a few good ones, and decided that, what the heck, might as well go on down before they got too strong. (My last baby that the waters had ruptured the labor was 2 hrs so I was thinking when it did start, it would be fast). We checked in and hung out, walked around the grounds quite a bit. It was all so relaxing and fun. Still no regular contractions. I stayed on a birthing ball for the most part because it was fun and comfy, lol. My family came in to bring Dad some supper and they were all surprised that there was no baby yet. Everyone thought it'd be much quicker. About 9 or 10pm the contractions finally kicked in. Especially getting up to use the bathroom, they would be super strong and I would hurry up and get back on the ball. Hehe. Throughout the intense ones I kept my focus on a song lyric (Rest Easy by Audio Adrenaline) "I'll take your burdens if you'll take my grace." It was as if right at the peak, God said "let me have that" and whisked them right away.
At one point, I got the distinct impression that He was saying, "see, this is what Pure Love is." (I never claim to have spiritual insight, words from God, etc, so that was really neat). The last time going to the bathroom, I felt the pressure and asked to be checked. I don't think they believed I was that far along because the rest of the day had been so chill. But when they laid me back I knew for a fact I was definitely in transition. I told them I wanted to be on my side. And felt like pushing. They said start out with a few practice pushes. Haha. The doc didn't even get there in time. Side pushing was great (I had a midwife friend tell me to try it). I was up and about nearly right after, no tears (which is only the second time...I tore/episiotomy with the first 5). Zec said I was the most alert and "with it" with this baby than the others. It was such a wonderful time of reflection, enjoying all the little moments, letting God minister to me. I said right after "now that I could do again." Oh, and Rustysdove, I could barely make it 'til breakfast! I had all the peanut butter and graham crackers I could stand! Best. Eggs. Ever.
Oh that sounds so wonderful! What an amazing experience for you!
Congratulations! What a wonderful birth story, hopefully baby is as chill and happy as her delivery
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I was all smiles reading it, and am so happy it all went well!
