How much money should I be making before I get married?

[frederick]

Because it wasn't a dress lol. The dresses were way too expensive for my liking, so I bought a skirt and a top that when put together looked like a dress. Much cheaper.
And this is how women save you money. It's about the viewpoint that they have.
Another example is that I didn't buy a wedding veil. They were much too expensive. I got a 'holy communion' veil. Same thing. Not quite as long, but basically same thing. It was a 10th of the price.
Our house is full of furniture and odds and ends that don't match. We either were given them or found them free somewhere or bought them second hand. The only new things I bought for my babies were some clothes (got a load of them second hand too), and a few toys (once I got past 5 kids because then they actually wear out lol).
It's mindset, and that's what you're looking for.

My wife is the same way. This @Aaron_D is the mindset you want to look for in a woman. It tells you so much more about her than just her frugality. It shows that she thinks things through and uses good judgment. It shows she’s a team player and that she is willing to make sacrifices of her own wants to make things better for the whole family. That’s the kind of mother you want to choose for your future children.


@FollowingHim that was a clever test!

All the above ^^^ Plus she has to fear God, have a mind focused on her husband and then the family. If she is self-centered or displays any sense of entitlement, avoid her.

 

[Bartato]

I would not bring up polygyny when I first met someone. If I got to know a woman and she became a serious prospect for marriage I would want to talk to her about my beliefs before we got married.

The fact that polygyny is not a sin is important to talk about even if I only want to have one wife. I cannot really be the head of my household if my wife will try to stop me from taking other wives and will divorce me if I do.

So I would consider it a dealbreaker if she was not okay with polygyny.

What I want to avoid is a marriage that appears traditional and conservative but where I am just a figure head and my wife is really in charge.

Remember that patriarchy is far more important/central than polygamy.

All properly functioning households are patriarchal. Most are monogamous, and some are polygamous. Polygamy only makes sense as part of the larger framework of patriarchy.

Make sure that a potential wife understands that God the Father is the Head of Christ, that Christ is the Head of every man, and that the husband is the head of the wife. She needs to understand that woman was made for the man, to be a helpmate/helper. She is joining your team, and you are the leader of that team.

To the extent that you discuss polygamy, always remember that it is only a part of the larger topic of patriarchy.

Your family team is dedicated to the service of your Head, your Master Jesus Christ. He has designated you to lead the team, whether it is just yourself, you with one wife, with children, or with multiple wives, etc. You do not seek to serve yourself, but rather Christ. Whether you have one wife, or several is chiefly a topic between Christ and you, not you and your wife. Her emotions must not control you. The Will of Christ must rule all.

 

[Bartato]

Back to the money issue...

You mentioned that you don't see your salary or wages significantly increasing in the near future, and that you are considering a side business.

The side business might be a great idea, but it is not the only way to increase your income.

What other options are available for increasing your income? Could you learn additional skills, or gain additional certifications which would allow you to earn more? Could you move up within your organization?

Are there any expenses which could be cut? Financial optimization is also helpful.

 

[frederick]

Are there any expenses which could be cut? Financial optimization is also helpful.

This is where are prudent wife can make a significant contribution to a household, and such a wife is a gift from God (cf. Proverbs 19:14).

 

[Mark C]

How much money should I be making before I get married?​

A: $146,454 monthly. Well, maybe.

If you want to take her for a fine meal at the Golden Arches, it'll need to be a lot more.

I wish that was a joke...

But, when the fiat dollar reaches its True Intrinsic Value (in-progress, and accelerating) - the number won't matter.

 

[Bartato]

How much money should I be making before I get married?​

A: $146,454 monthly. Well, maybe.

If you want to take her for a fine meal at the Golden Arches, it'll need to be a lot more.

I wish that was a joke...

But, when the fiat dollar reaches its True Intrinsic Value (in-progress, and accelerating) - the number won't matter.

So....
How many ounces of silver should he make in a year?

 

[MemeFan]

Remember that patriarchy is far more important/central than polygamy.

All properly functioning households are patriarchal. Most are monogamous, and some are polygamous. Polygamy only makes sense as part of the larger framework of patriarchy.

You can't have patriarchy without possibility of polygyny. Otherwise, wife can still control relationship.

Patriatchy implies opposite. Man is always in control.

 

[MemeFan]

This thread is going into insanity.

First of all, @Aaron_D just find wife. Yes, there is need to find from what to live, but finances are less important than families. Primary reason this is possible is because finance problem can be solved on many different ways.

And now to deep very important truth. Frugality in women is less important. Ways of saving money are less important.

What is important is return on investment. We always have to invest resources (time is minimun). Problem is when too often return is negative or negative return is too big. Fix this issue and you will be fine.

And don't limit your options.

 

[Bartato]

You can't have patriarchy without possibility of polygyny. Otherwise, wife can still control relationship.

Patriatchy implies opposite. Man is always in control.

Agreed! Polygyny must exist to some extent in a society for patriarchy to function.

 

[Bartato]

Agreed! Polygyny must exist to some extent in a society for patriarchy to function.

That's probably the reason there is such extreme cultural hostility to polygyny, because fallen humanity hates Biblical Patriarchy so intensely.

 

[MemeFan]

That's probably the reason there is such extreme cultural hostility to polygyny, because fallen humanity hates Biblical Patriarchy so intensely.

If these is such widespread hatred, why it exist in every culture, at least unofficially?

Yes, it's part of West now. Do you truly believe very ambitious men on top of social ladder aren't also ambitious in love/sexual life? Guys like I need billion a year just to feel alive will be satisfied with average sex with one girl per year? It's doesn't compute.

It's just Western ruling class needs more power and likes idea of social engineering. C'mon, younglings are from kindergarden taught how wise, just and moral is elite vision of world.

 

[Bartato]

If these is such widespread hatred, why it exist in every culture, at least unofficially?

Yes, it's part of West now. Do you truly believe very ambitious men on top of social ladder aren't also ambitious in love/sexual life? Guys like I need billion a year just to feel alive will be satisfied with average sex with one girl per year? It's doesn't compute.

It's just Western ruling class needs more power and likes idea of social engineering. C'mon, younglings are from kindergarden taught how wise, just and moral is elite vision of world.

I think there is something spiritually off track, broken, twisted, or bent in a man if he feels like he needs a billion a year to feel alive, or isn't satisfied to have sex with one woman

We are supposed to be ambitious, but there are both Godly and ungodly ambitions. I think the thing you are describing is a type of selfish ambition

A man's relationship with God in Christ makes him feel alive, and satisfies him. Earthly goods and blessings will never ultimately satisfy, and that billion that satisfied today won't satisfy tomorrow. Only the true Bread from Heaven satisfies.

We enjoy earthly blessings like marriage, sex, food, drink, sleep, money, health, but they aren't the end in themselves, but Christ is. We were made for Him, and by Him.

Making a ton of money, and/or having multiple wives are both legitimate things to do, but I think the burning "need" for either usually indicates a spiritual deficiency of some sort (remember the word "usually" indicates there are likely some exceptions).

 

[Bartato]

If these is such widespread hatred, why it exist in every culture, at least unofficially?

Yes, it's part of West now. Do you truly believe very ambitious men on top of social ladder aren't also ambitious in love/sexual life? Guys like I need billion a year just to feel alive will be satisfied with average sex with one girl per year? It's doesn't compute.

It's just Western ruling class needs more power and likes idea of social engineering. C'mon, younglings are from kindergarden taught how wise, just and moral is elite vision of world.

You raise a good point that much of the cultural opposition to polygamy doesn't come from "the regular people", but rather from the power structures, or the people in control. The false doctrine of "Monogamy only" is a tool they use to keep people (and especially strong men) under their control.

 

[MemeFan]

I think there is something spiritually off track, broken, twisted, or bent in a man if he feels like he needs a billion a year to feel alive, or isn't satisfied to have sex with one woman

We are supposed to be ambitious, but there are both Godly and ungodly ambitions. I think the thing you are describing is a type of selfish ambition

A man's relationship with God in Christ makes him feel alive, and satisfies him. Earthly goods and blessings will never ultimately satisfy, and that billion that satisfied today won't satisfy tomorrow. Only the true Bread from Heaven satisfies.

We enjoy earthly blessings like marriage, sex, food, drink, sleep, money, health, but they aren't the end in themselves, but Christ is. We were made for Him, and by Him.

Making a ton of money, and/or having multiple wives are both legitimate things to do, but I think the burning "need" for either usually indicates a spiritual deficiency of some sort (remember the word "usually" indicates there are likely some exceptions).

I think your testosterone needs to go way up.

I do feel way more ambitious anytime I'm close to fixing my hormones.

 

[Bartato]

I think your testosterone needs to go way up.

I do feel way more ambitious anytime I'm close to fixing my hormones.

While intended as a criticism, you might be right about my T level.

My assessment however is still correct. There is something spiritually off about the man who "needs" a billion a year to "feel alive", and cannot be content having sex with one woman. It is a spiritual issue, not a hormonal one.

I think king David had high T levels, and obviously had lots of money, ambition, and wives. I don't think he generally had that "need" that you are describing (other than during the incident with Uriah's wife). I think it is a bent spiritual craving not a physical one.

Back to the discussion of my T level...

I am 50 after all, and I've been curious about my T level. I should probably check it.

1. I don't sleep as much as I should (sleep being important for testosterone).

2. I eat pretty well, including eggs from my own pastured chickens every day, and lots of brassica vegetables (collard greens, kale, cabbage, broccoli) which both encourage good testosterone levels. I actually eat a ton of vegetables and fruit from my garden. My wife cooks almost all our food from basic ingredients (and includes a lot of meat). I've been cutting back on the processed foods, sugar, and carbs.

3. I lift heavy weights at the gym three times a week and don't skip leg day.

4. I regularly wake up with "morning wood" which is an indicator or hormonal health. I go at it with the wife quite enthusiastically. There doesn't seem to be a lack of desire.

5. I take a lot of nutritional supplements, some of which (like zinc) promote T production.

6. I was at the doctor for an annual checkup the other day, and he said I'm in great health, and all my blood work was great.

7. I spend a lot of time outdoors, in the garden, so I'm getting sunshine.

8. I am heavier than I ought to be (243 lbs at 6'4" or roughly 111 kg at 192cm for you metric Europeans). Keep in mind that I'm fairly strong (having regularly lifted for the last decade) but I know I should still drop at least another 20 pounds of fat (I have dropped 14lbs in the last couple months).

I'm sure my T level isn't crazy high, but I'm sure it is better than most guys my age.

 

[frederick]

While intended as a criticism, you might be right about my T level.

My assessment however is still correct. There is something spiritually off about the man who "needs" a billion a year to "feel alive", and cannot be content having sex with one woman. It is a spiritual issue, not a hormonal one.

I think king David had high T levels, and obviously had lots of money, ambition, and wives. I don't think he generally had that "need" that you are describing (other than during the incident with Uriah's wife). I think it is a bent spiritual craving not a physical one.

Back to the discussion of my T level...

I am 50 after all, and I've been curious about my T level. I should probably check it.

1. I don't sleep as much as I should (sleep being important for testosterone).

2. I eat pretty well, including eggs from my own pastured chickens every day, and lots of brassica vegetables (collard greens, kale, cabbage, broccoli) which both encourage good testosterone levels. I actually eat a ton of vegetables and fruit from my garden. My wife cooks almost all our food from basic ingredients (and includes a lot of meat). I've been cutting back on the processed foods, sugar, and carbs.

3. I lift heavy weights at the gym three times a week and don't skip leg day.

4. I regularly wake up with "morning wood" which is an indicator or hormonal health. I go at it with the wife quite enthusiastically. There doesn't seem to be a lack of desire.

5. I take a lot of nutritional supplements, some of which (like zinc) promote T production.

6. I was at the doctor for an annual checkup the other day, and he said I'm in great health, and all my blood work was great.

7. I spend a lot of time outdoors, in the garden, so I'm getting sunshine.

8. I am heavier than I ought to be (243 lbs at 6'4" or roughly 111 kg at 192cm for you metric Europeans). Keep in mind that I'm fairly strong (having regularly lifted for the last decade) but I know I should still drop at least another 20 pounds of fat (I have dropped 14lbs in the last couple months).

I'm sure my T level isn't crazy high, but I'm sure it is better than most guys my age.

I think this ^^^ is one of the best thread derails I've read in months. From, How much money should I be making before I get married? to Personal T levels, in the blink of an eye.

That's impressive. Congratulations @Bartato.

 

[Bartato]

I think this ^^^ is one of the best thread derails I've read in months. From, How much money should I be making before I get married? to Personal T levels, in the blink of an eye.

That's impressive. Congratulations @Bartato.

Thank you! I try to do my best

 

[Bartato]

I think this ^^^ is one of the best thread derails I've read in months. From, How much money should I be making before I get married? to Personal T levels, in the blink of an eye.

That's impressive. Congratulations @Bartato.

The T level discussion might be important for the original poster. If he raises his, it might help him increase his income, and motivation to find a wife.

 

[frederick]

The T level discussion might be important for the original poster. If he raises his, it might help him increase his income, and motivation to find a wife.

Since all the carriages are falling off the rails now; I wonder if taking another wife prompts an increase in the T levels? Or does the added attention from women who discover you have multiple wives increase the T levels? An important consideration; a successful polygynous man cannot be a couch bum, therefore he will need to be fitter and healthier so that may cause an up in the T levels. Whatever the case, polygyny is probably beneficial for T levels.

 

[Bartato]

Since all the carriages are falling off the rails now; I wonder if taking another wife prompts an increase in the T levels? Or does the added attention from women who discover you have multiple wives increase the T levels? An important consideration; a successful polygynous man cannot be a couch bum, therefore he will need to be fitter and healthier so that may cause an up in the T levels. Whatever the case, polygyny is probably beneficial for T levels.

There was a strong link between my realizing the legitimacy of polygamy, and my starting to lift weights a decade ago.
It was partly to be more attractive, but also that I would want to maintain my health in case I had children later in life.