Is a woman's consent required for marriage? Does a father, brother or other male authority figure have a right to arrange a marriage and compel her to marry a man they pick out?
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Is a woman's consent required for marriage?
- Thread starter SerenaJoy82
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There is a big difference between arranged and forced marriage.
Arranged marriages often work out really well. Family members will choose who they are to marry, but they always have the choice to say they're not ready for marriage or they don't think this person is the right fit etc. This is the same for men and women.
Forced marriages are another thing entirely, and I can't think of any situation where that would be appropriate.
Arranged marriages often work out really well. Family members will choose who they are to marry, but they always have the choice to say they're not ready for marriage or they don't think this person is the right fit etc. This is the same for men and women.
Forced marriages are another thing entirely, and I can't think of any situation where that would be appropriate.
I think that Orthodox Jews have the best approach to courtship and possible marriage. They have professional matchmakers in the community where families and the person seeking marriage submit information and the matchmaker will select a few prospects. The couple " date" briefly ie get to know each other and decide if they may be a good match for marriage, if not then no harm is done. They can simply see what other potential matches may be available. Arranged marriages where they are regularly practised are often forced marriages and while the divorce rate on paper may be low, I have to wonder that the marital satisfaction rate is, especially for the wives. They often will stay in a forced horrible marriage, due to cultural expectations including being killed for bringing shame if they leave the marriage. My husband's first marriage was arranged, he found out later that she was forced into it and at times has made things difficult for both of them.
I come from a culture where arranged marriages are regularly practiced and they are not forced, so the generalised sweeping statement you made is false. Most of the majority of people I personally know in arrange marriages are quite happy and satisfied. Expecially compared to most western type perpetual dating and marriage arrangements. I know of many people from other cultures that practice arrange marriage and once again your statement is incorrect. The honor killings come from a certain religious cultural background (though it was more widely practices several hundred years ago by a handful of cultures) that does not repersent all the cultures that practice arrange marriage. By lumping them all together you ?inavertantly? create a false narrative that justifies your stated beleif. Input from personal experience is always appreciated. Testimonies by others are good on a case by case situation for understanding that specific situation. Everything else is bavardage.
To point something out, your doing exactly on this thread what your condeming some one on another thread for doing.
Arranged marriages are predominantly done in Islamic countries and in India, mainly among the Hindus. Thus I said where they are regular practices.
Ya the average married man on the street in America is neither happy nor satisfied.
I’d say the average wife isn’t happy or satisfied either. Men that can be ‘bossed’ around shouldn’t be getting married if all their going to do is act like the donkey off of Winnie the Pooh. Hum drum, guess I better do what she says so I can get ‘some’ later, hopefully, maybe....
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Not entirely acurate, the Romni, my people 90% of marriages are arranged. I know many Mennonites who have arranged marriages (one community here in Texas that that is almost all arranged), many of the Chinese freinds I have from China (not the US) are arranged and talk about its predominance especially amongst Christians there, many non Christian non Islamic Africans I've met also practice arranged marriages, plus many more. There are 6 sects of Hindus which women are treated from different philosophical views from having no rights to being goddesses the one your speaking of is the minority and only 1 of six. Sikhs which is a blend of monothesim and Hinduism (a different religion which most honor killings come from) with many sects of its own and has a sect and sunset of another that accepts honor killings, of women or men who bring shame to their spouse and family though it is more common for it to be women, mainly due to infidelity. When you say Islamic are you talking Sunni, Shia or Kharijites. Which one (there is only one) accepts honor killings as a cultural norm (there is no permission or sanction given in the Qu'ran) that's not to say the other two don't do it but they can't justify it. How many non arranged spouses kill their significant other in western culture for cheating or bringing Finicial ruin, suprising more than the "honor killings" we just don't call it honor killings, Just murder.
Here’s a link to another thread that has a lot of info on Jewish customs around the time of Christ and other interesting marriage tidbits
https://biblicalfamilies.org/forum/threads/commentary-on-jewish-marriage.14478/#post-174396
Thus marriage is slowly dying as an institution in Western Civilization.
It is ironic that marriages were happier when the purpose wasn't happiness, but now that the purpose is happiness that are not so happy.
It's because our joy is suppose to come from the Lord not our spouse. We're supose to share our joy with our spouse.
Truth!
Hi Nikud, I'm glad you're still here and didn't leave permanently. I like the perspective and experience that you bring to the site. (I say that in all seriousness 
)
God said it is not good for man to be alone, and thus He created the woman. So there is an aloneness that God meant to be filled by the woman, and not by God himself. Surely the man is going to enjoy having that aloneness filled up by her. But, there is also a different aloneness that men have, one which God Himself fills. The trouble comes from expecting the woman to fill empty spaces God didn't intend her to fill. Really, I think the problem stems from the apparent defacto women worship that takes place in society; thereby trying to push the woman into filling the aloneness that God is supposed to fill.. and that doesn't work.
But as for joy of the wife...
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. (Ecc 9:9)
The whole of Song of Solomon seems very applicable here.
Proverbs 5:15-20, but especially v18-19; Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
It is interesting to ponder the spiritual implications of the parallel of God having creating humans according to His good pleasure, and also having created the woman (in part) for the man's pleasure.
)I've heard this before, but I think it's a false dichotomy. Which joy?
God said it is not good for man to be alone, and thus He created the woman. So there is an aloneness that God meant to be filled by the woman, and not by God himself. Surely the man is going to enjoy having that aloneness filled up by her. But, there is also a different aloneness that men have, one which God Himself fills. The trouble comes from expecting the woman to fill empty spaces God didn't intend her to fill. Really, I think the problem stems from the apparent defacto women worship that takes place in society; thereby trying to push the woman into filling the aloneness that God is supposed to fill.. and that doesn't work.
But as for joy of the wife...
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. (Ecc 9:9)
The whole of Song of Solomon seems very applicable here.
Proverbs 5:15-20, but especially v18-19; Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
It is interesting to ponder the spiritual implications of the parallel of God having creating humans according to His good pleasure, and also having created the woman (in part) for the man's pleasure.
Happiness is a fleeting emotion. Chasing happiness is like chasing a high, you'll never be satisfied because it always takes a little more next time.
Joy is a choice, an outlook on life. A person who chooses to have joy will find joy and contentment in the little things and the silver linings even in the midst of a storm while the person who has it all stews in discontentment.
Joy is a choice, an outlook on life. A person who chooses to have joy will find joy and contentment in the little things and the silver linings even in the midst of a storm while the person who has it all stews in discontentment.
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Didn't make it all the way through but got enough to see what was going on. The older generation was quite content in their marriages and with the practice of bridal kidnapping. They were all confused as to why those women suicided; in other words, it was an abnormal reaction on the part of brides in their culture. The answer comes later: the poison of feminism made them illcontent. TV, University, Women's advocates all poisoned the mind of the youth against the traditions of their fathers.
Feminists are merchants of misery. We see in our country the results on the back end the fruit of their gospel of envy.
To answer the original post, short answer is no, her consent is not required or necessary. It’s actually pretty silly if you think about it in big picture terms. A woman’s consent or “power” is completely contrary to God’s word and order. The root cause of this even being a topic of conversation is because most of us are conditioned to know a life without trust; distrust in our worldly authority as well as our heavenly authority. Imagine how absurd it would be to say to Jesus “no, I’m not going to do “xyz” because I don’t want to and you can’t make me without my consent!” Does He not love you? Cherish you? Want what’s best for you? In the same way your husband or father would? Yes abuse can be a factor, but again trust in God because He promises that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. Trust and have faith, and know that The Lord is pleased with our obedience and our obedience is non-consensual.
Thank you all for this discussion! May each of you be blessed.
Thank you all for this discussion! May each of you be blessed.