Sooooooo true!!!!
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Is a woman's consent required for marriage?
- Thread starter SerenaJoy82
- Start date
Sooooooo true!!!!
I would say that a woman's consent is required for marriage or else she will be subject to potential abuse. That kind of abuse is often acceptable in non-Western cultures and it's not acceptable in the West.
But there is a middle ground between a forced arranged marriage and traditional romantic Western marriage.
Placement marriage is a term that some people abuse and it's just another form of forced marriage like you see with some of the Mormon sects like the FLDS.
But placement marriage also takes place when willing people go to a matchmaker and they are placed with a partner or situation that fits their needs. It's consensual for everyone involved.
It's also found a place in modern pop culture shows where strangers get married on first sight. Generally these are done badly, aimed at TV ratings not the welfare of the participants. However, The Edge radio station in New Zealand has done it extremely well, as they have very carefully vetted and selected the participants to be true matches.
The first couple was married in 1999. They're still married 20 years later and have multiple children. The radio station has repeated this several times since then and every couple is still together. More info on Wikipedia.
We have an interesting disconnect in our culture where it is considered completely acceptable, even exciting and "cool", for a radio station or TV show to do something, even if it's a disaster and ruins people's lives - but considered evil for a religious organisation or family to do the exact same thing.
Of course, all this is still consensual - both have consented to marry whoever is chosen for them, they entered the whole thing freely. And the same could also be said for most other arranged marriage settings, when considered carefully. It's an aside from the original topic, just a comment regarding @MeganC's post.
I use to not really like the idea of "arranged marriages" but the more thought I've put into it, and the more I've read in the scriptures, the less I dislike it.
We have many biblical examples of "arranged marriages" and in our culture that kind of thing goes over like a lead balloon, I think sometimes because they mix up "arranged" with "forced" (but also because secular society doesn't like anything that is biblical), but I really doubt forced marriages happened that often. Honestly human nature hasn't really changed, and fathers in general, probably loved their daughters, and wanted them to be happy, just as much and in many cases probably more back then, then fathers do now.
Another thought is two hormonal young people probably aren't going to argue very much if the match makers were even halfway decent at their job.
Another reason arranged marriages (in my opinion) are great is it takes the emotional aspect out of the equation.
I would like to think I am capable of controlling my emotions, while making rational, uncompromising decisions about a potential spouse, and maybe I'm learning, but it is no simple task, and it is easy to see when I look back at my own life, I can say to myself "I am really glad that didn't go anywhere". That tells me I didn't go into the ordeal with both eyes wide open.
On the other hand, when a party who isn't emotionally involved, such as parents (who better to choose a match then the people who know you best?), father figure etc. vette a prospect, a decision is going to be based on observable attributes, such as her beliefs, lifestyle, etc. and they are much more likely to pick up on potential red flags that would be missed, or overlooked, by someone with a personal interest in the woman.
Also when someone works full time there isn't much time for socializing with the opposite sex. And another/other individual/s keeping a eye out means that it isn't all placed on one man.
Just a few thoughts I had. Feel free to dissect.
We have many biblical examples of "arranged marriages" and in our culture that kind of thing goes over like a lead balloon, I think sometimes because they mix up "arranged" with "forced" (but also because secular society doesn't like anything that is biblical), but I really doubt forced marriages happened that often. Honestly human nature hasn't really changed, and fathers in general, probably loved their daughters, and wanted them to be happy, just as much and in many cases probably more back then, then fathers do now.
Another thought is two hormonal young people probably aren't going to argue very much if the match makers were even halfway decent at their job.
Another reason arranged marriages (in my opinion) are great is it takes the emotional aspect out of the equation.
I would like to think I am capable of controlling my emotions, while making rational, uncompromising decisions about a potential spouse, and maybe I'm learning, but it is no simple task, and it is easy to see when I look back at my own life, I can say to myself "I am really glad that didn't go anywhere". That tells me I didn't go into the ordeal with both eyes wide open.
On the other hand, when a party who isn't emotionally involved, such as parents (who better to choose a match then the people who know you best?), father figure etc. vette a prospect, a decision is going to be based on observable attributes, such as her beliefs, lifestyle, etc. and they are much more likely to pick up on potential red flags that would be missed, or overlooked, by someone with a personal interest in the woman.
Also when someone works full time there isn't much time for socializing with the opposite sex. And another/other individual/s keeping a eye out means that it isn't all placed on one man.
Just a few thoughts I had. Feel free to dissect.
I would agree when it comes to “Christian” cultures.
In some other cultures the number of females is the is key to power in the afterlife, or conversely, of little value.
Both views lead to abuse of one’s female offspring.
Ha! Why do I get the impression we are moving in the direction of having arranged marriages at our upcoming retreats? Well, at least it doesn't appear that any of them are going to be forced!
Well, if you arrange a marriage for me at one, I promise to turn up!
Translation - if you want to see my whole family travel all the way to the USA for a retreat, it's going to cost you a daughter.
Absolutely! I was thinking old testament Israel when I wrote that.
I'm sure abuses happened in every culture, but in general those who were supposed to be following YHWH, both new testament, and old probably treated their women well.
LOL! I don't have a daughter...yet!Well, if you arrange a marriage for me at one, I promise to turn up!
Translation - if you want to see my whole family travel all the way to the USA for a retreat, it's going to cost you a daughter.
Oh, so it has to be a daughter?Translation - if you want to see my whole family travel all the way to the USA for a retreat, it's going to cost you a daughter.
I don't have any sisters, but I fear my father isn't long for this world, which is going to leave my 87-year-old mother without a partner, @FollowingHim!
Somebody's daughter! If she's not somebody's daughter, I'm not interested...
Do you really want me for a stepfather @Keith Martin? Thanks for the complement, but I really don't know if I could handle the responsibility.
Do you really want me for a stepfather @Keith Martin? Thanks for the complement, but I really don't know if I could handle the responsibility.
I think that Keith is slightly beyond anyone’s responsibility at this point.
Of course, since this is only arranged and not forced marriage, the daughter will have the right to say "No", so you could make the trip to America, and go back empty handed.Somebody's daughter! If she's not somebody's daughter, I'm not interested...
Do you really want me for a stepfather @Keith Martin? Thanks for the complement, but I really don't know if I could handle the responsibility.
EDIT: Might I add that every woman is somebody's daughter, with the exception of Eve, of course.
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Eve was God's daughter!
That's what I meant. It was a silly joke.
If we were talking seriously (which we are not!), there is no way anything like that would happen without substantial communication between the prospective husband and wife beforehand to ensure they were actually in agreement. In the specific jocular example of me traveling to the USA for an arranged wife, I wouldn't do that for a woman I'd never met and might refuse myself when I saw her, or who might refuse me when I arrived. All of that would be worked out long before a wedding.
I had better stop discussing this at this point in case some reader takes us seriously and gets the wrong idea.
Do you really want me for a stepfather @Keith Martin? Thanks for the complement, but I really don't know if I could handle the responsibility.
I wouldn't mind at all for you to be my stepfather, @FollowingHim -- or for @FollowingHim2 to be my stepsistermother!
And there wouldn't be much responsibility. I might lean on you from time to time for various forms of advice, but I'm pretty much grown up at this point, so there'd be no raisin' to do!