DealChief, you're certainly not the only divorced man here. Life is complex. And on this, we are in complete agreement: "Overall, my approach is ... Try to marry only women who can accept who I am."
Let me say right up-front - I'm happy you're here. I'm not trying to tell you to leave or anything like that. I see you as a man in need of advice on marriage, and with the humility to actually come to a place where he can receive that advice. This is awesome. The more difficulties I see in your past, the more glad I am that you are here. Because you are my brother, and I'd like to help you grow in YHWH. Also, I'm not perfect myself, and no doubt there will be some other issue where you'll be able to comment with some useful insight that I can learn from also. Welcome back to the forum.
The number of failed relationships you mention is much higher than that of most other men here. That's fine. That's why you're here, to seek advice and prayer as you have stated yourself. I'm not pointing this out to "judge" you or say you're "not good enough" or any such nonsense, I notice this as I try to understand the details of your approach so I can then offer helpful advice, please try and take it in that light. Because a single failure can just happen out of someone's control, but a string is a pattern that we can use to understand you and learn from.
As far as I can see, from the limited information I know about you, you're far quicker to jump into marriage than I would personally consider wise. You appear to have started marriages where commitment appeared to be being given, in words, but did not take the time to first work out whether it was likely to last. In some cases you saw it as a marriage but your wife did not. Marriage was started prematurely and ended equally prematurely - exactly in the pattern we see in secular culture, where relationships start too quickly and end equally fast. We can label it marriage if we like. But it is not the pattern intended by YHWH, because it is not a pattern that leads to the results He desires - lifelong commitment.
I did not suggest that you came here looking for a wife - but the thread you were most interested in and chose to comment on first is on mail order brides, and the content of your post indicates you have put a lot of thought into multiple ways of finding women. Your track record shows that you are well capable of finding them also. I'm not saying this is your intent coming here, but rather that this appears to be a strong focus of you personally. Nothing wrong with that in moderation, but coupled with your relaxed attitude towards divorce it too is a recipe for a string of failed marriages.
The other potential cause of your failed relationships is the very strong focus you have on a woman being her husband's servant. Again, scripturally correct - provided this is only one aspect of our understanding and held in the right balance, taken too strongly it is also a recipe for failure. For instance, a woman may very easily say "yes I accept polygyny". The words are easy. But then when the reality hits and you actually start looking for or dating another woman, she may find this far more difficult than she initially thought, or it may turn out she never fully meant it. What is a husband to do then? He could say "I have a right to be a polygynist, it's nothing to do with you, you agreed to it, just do what I say". He may have the right to do that - but she'll still leave, and he'll be either single or a monogamist with a new wife. On the other hand, he could pull back, focus on her, try and help her through her insecurities, act as a true shepherd knowing that he has obligations to support her but no obligations to the second woman yet as she's just a potential not a wife so she's less important. In doing this, which may take years, he may eventually end up with two happy wives, or even more. It's all a matter of focus.
The reason I asked about a husband's responsibilities to his wives is from this standpoint. I got the feeling your past relationships were far more about sex, from a range of your statements.
