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Making Progress on the church acceptance front

Bartato said:
It can also be a train wreck of great horror. Great care is required, though great good can come of it.
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Risking sounding like a broken record to those who have been around here a long time, I do not believe polygamous relationships have any greater potential to be train wrecks than do monogamous ones. For every example of problems in polygamous marriages, one can find a thousand examples of perhaps different in some respects but basically equivalent problems in mono marriages.
 
Keith Martin said:
I do not believe polygamous relationships have any greater potential to be train wrecks than do monogamous ones.
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I respectfully disagree.
I will continue to beat the drum that our enemy hates and fears poly done right more than he does monogamy.
It just plain has more potential to damage his kingdom.
 
Keith Martin said:
I do not believe polygamous relationships have any greater potential to be train wrecks than do monogamous ones.
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I think there are two main reasons for them to be more difficult and therefore have higher potential for failure.
  • More people = more complexity.
  • Societal context. Monogamous families can expect support from their peers (e.g. church), polygamous families can expect less support and even direct attempts to break them apart.
The second point is only relevant in our society, and ideally wouldn't exist. In a polygamous society only the first would be relevant, and it is manageable and militated against by the many benefits that polygamy brings. So in a polygamous society, you might overall be correct that there is no greater potential for trainwrecks. But for most readers today, living in societies that oppose polygamy and having to defend their families from external as well as internal challenges, polygamy will be much more difficult and have a greater potential for failure. Doesn't mean you shouldn't do it of course, but does mean it's a greater challenge.

If life is a computer game, it's probably wise to keep playing level 1 (monogamy) until reaching expert skill level before proceeding to level 2 or higher, where the enemies become more numerous and energetic. Of course, those who do choose to tackle level 2 without first reaching that skill level may learn rapidly and also survive, but the failure rate will be higher.

It's worth noting most of the successful polygamists I can think of were monogamists for many years first (either in one long successful marriage, or with one or more failed marriages they have learned from). A lot of solid polygamous families form post-middle-age. To illustrate, there aren't exactly many 30-year-old polygamists with multiple wives of childbearing age and >20 kids!
 
FollowingHim said:
If life is a computer game, it's probably wise to keep playing level 1 (monogamy) until reaching expert skill level before proceeding to level 2 or higher, where the enemies become more numerous and energetic. Of course, those who do choose to tackle level 2 without first reaching that skill level may learn rapidly and also survive, but the failure rate will be higher.
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In my limited life experience life is like a game that auto advances. We can only work at proficiency at whatever level we are at. Level one is learning to behave as a child, level two as an adult. Level three is being in a committed relationship, level four being a parent as well.....and so on. I am very skeptical of people divorced with no children, because they often have the developmental maturity of a single who never married.

I guess those dropped back a level?

It sure seems as soon as you clear one you are right into the next.....and life has NO pause button. :cool:

My sisters all expressed some version of "Marriage is hard enough, why would you want to make it harder with polygamy?"

Ummm. Cause I like marriage....and family! :D
 
Does nobody understand that there is such a thing as spiritual attacks?
 
FollowingHim said:
It's worth noting most of the successful polygamists I can think of were monogamists for many years first (either in one long successful marriage, or with one or more failed marriages they have learned from). A lot of solid polygamous families form post-middle-age. To illustrate, there aren't exactly many 30-year-old polygamists with multiple wives of childbearing age and >20 kids!
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This exactly describes our family. Steve and Shari were married in 1987, had three girls of their own, and only went poly in 2005/2006.
 
Following him said,
"It's worth noting most of the successful polygamists I can think of were monogamists for many years first (either in one long successful marriage, or with one or more failed marriages they have learned from). A lot of solid polygamous families form post-middle-age. To illustrate, there aren't exactly many 30-year-old polygamists with multiple wives of childbearing age and >20 kids!"

That is certainly the case in modern "Christian" Western culture where patriarchal polygyny is almost never practiced. It is somewhat less the case in cultures that tradionally permit polygyny such as OT Israel, the Islamic world, and African cultures. Even in those situations, polygamous men probably tend toward the older and more financially established side.
 
FollowingHim said:
Yes, you are very correct, that is an important factor.
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Sorry, I haven’t communicated well in this thread.
I believe that it is the major reason for failure.
 
It is likely the underlying reason behind the more visible factors that I mentioned above. It is spiritual opposition that inspires such fervent human opposition.
 
FollowingHim said:
It is likely the underlying reason behind the more visible factors that I mentioned above. It is spiritual opposition that inspires such fervent human opposition.
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That is true.
But beyond that, we in our family are experiencing spiritual opposition at levels that I have never experienced before.

I now return this thread to Mr DeLuca will all apologies.
 
The Revolting Man said:
Is there anything we should be praying over Steve?
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I appreciate that, but it’s all just opposition from the enemy that each one of us has to take the responsibility/authority that we have and work through.

I pray that we all become better representatives of the Kingdom than we are today.
 
Bartato said:
Steve,
I pray that The Almighty will watch over your family and bless you all.
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Thank you. I pray the same for you also.
 
Our society is such that even monogamy is harder than polygamy in a traditional society would have been. Polygamy, in our society, without a supportive church culture: marriage on Insane Mode.

Joleneakamama said:
My sisters all expressed some version of "Marriage is hard enough, why would you want to make it harder with polygamy?"

Ummm. Cause I like marriage....and family!
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Which is pretty much how most view having more than 1 or 2 children.

But I'm good at raising kids and love it so let's have more!
 
steve said:
I pray that we all become better representatives of the Kingdom than we are today.
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That's a great prayer, Steve. I pray you won't mind if I plagiarize it!
 
And know that, as broad as your shoulders are, it isn't a sin to brace them against some other broad shoulders.
 
Keith Martin said:
That's a great prayer, Steve. I pray you won't mind if I plagiarize it!
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Yeshua taught them to pray Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done.
We can’t improve very much on that, mine was just a bit of a variant.
 
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