Can someone please tell me where that "unless your husband is a jerk or your wife is a nag" exception for divorce is. I've been looking for 2 months, and I'm not seeing it.
FYI, she knew I was a jerk in my 1st email to her.
Last edited:
-
Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.
Prayer request Needing Prayer
- Thread starter AlexaH
- Start date
- Status
FYI, she knew I was a jerk in my 1st email to her.
I probably should have done this ages ago, but I'm going to lock the thread now. This is because I believe both sides have presented their case now, and I don't see anything positive coming from further public debate here.
Our purpose is to heal a marriage, if that is possible. The last few pages of discussion are not contributing to that, so this thread has probably ceased to be useful. As @Tesfalcon said:
For readers of the forum:
Proverbs 18:17:
"The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him."
In this thread, @AlexaH first stated what she claimed was happening, from her perspective. It was very easy to assume that she was right and presenting the truth of what was going on. However, when @Tesfalcon came along, he showed very clearly that some of what she had said was misleading, while some was quite untruthful.
On the other hand, some of the further claims of @Tesfalcon (regarding CPS for instance) are fervently denied by @AlexaH (in this case neither side has provided any proof so the truth of the situation is unknown). Had @Tesfalcon been the first to post, we could have been in the opposite situation.
Always remember there are at least two sides to every story, and the first person you hear is not necessarily telling the full truth. It is important to hear both sides.
Also, our purpose here is to help heal a marriage. It is easy to get dragged into further debate that is not helping that end, and I am probably guilty of that myself in the latter part of this discussion.
For @Tesfalcon and @AlexaH:
Our purpose here has always been to help your marriage, or help you as individuals in this situation. We may do this imperfectly, but that is our intent. If there is any way we may be able to help you, please don't hesitate to contact us. Private messages are probably a better place for that than on the open forum. On the other hand, if talking to us would not be helpful, don't feel any need to do so.
It is clear from this discussion that both of you are at fault. And you can only change yourselves, not the other person. But instead:
Everyone: Pray for @Tesfalcon, @AlexaH and Sandra. They need it.
I am not locking this thread to prevent us from helping this family. Far from it. I am locking this thread to stop what I believe has become a distraction from actually helping, and to force such discussion into private settings where it is more likely to be profitable. Although readers may find it interesting to follow the story, I can see no way that this discussion will actually help @Tesfalcon or @AlexaH.
Furthermore, in locking it I am not passing judgement on either of their perspectives and declaring either side in the right or in the wrong.
Please continue this conversation in private.
Our purpose is to heal a marriage, if that is possible. The last few pages of discussion are not contributing to that, so this thread has probably ceased to be useful. As @Tesfalcon said:
For readers of the forum:
Proverbs 18:17:
"The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him."
In this thread, @AlexaH first stated what she claimed was happening, from her perspective. It was very easy to assume that she was right and presenting the truth of what was going on. However, when @Tesfalcon came along, he showed very clearly that some of what she had said was misleading, while some was quite untruthful.
On the other hand, some of the further claims of @Tesfalcon (regarding CPS for instance) are fervently denied by @AlexaH (in this case neither side has provided any proof so the truth of the situation is unknown). Had @Tesfalcon been the first to post, we could have been in the opposite situation.
Always remember there are at least two sides to every story, and the first person you hear is not necessarily telling the full truth. It is important to hear both sides.
Also, our purpose here is to help heal a marriage. It is easy to get dragged into further debate that is not helping that end, and I am probably guilty of that myself in the latter part of this discussion.
For @Tesfalcon and @AlexaH:
Our purpose here has always been to help your marriage, or help you as individuals in this situation. We may do this imperfectly, but that is our intent. If there is any way we may be able to help you, please don't hesitate to contact us. Private messages are probably a better place for that than on the open forum. On the other hand, if talking to us would not be helpful, don't feel any need to do so.
It is clear from this discussion that both of you are at fault. And you can only change yourselves, not the other person. But instead:
If each of you were to stop looking at the other's faults, and look instead at your own, the faults each of you possess that have contributed to this mess might actually be fixed. Regardless of whether the outcome is restoration of your marriage or divorce, the result will be far more positive and amicable if each of you is recognising your faults and trying to heal them. And a full restoration is completely possible here. But if each of you continues to focus on the other's faults, and blame the other for the mess you are in (even in matters that are genuinely the other's fault), I can see no positive outcome.
Everyone: Pray for @Tesfalcon, @AlexaH and Sandra. They need it.
I am not locking this thread to prevent us from helping this family. Far from it. I am locking this thread to stop what I believe has become a distraction from actually helping, and to force such discussion into private settings where it is more likely to be profitable. Although readers may find it interesting to follow the story, I can see no way that this discussion will actually help @Tesfalcon or @AlexaH.
Furthermore, in locking it I am not passing judgement on either of their perspectives and declaring either side in the right or in the wrong.
Please continue this conversation in private.
- Status