indigenouspolygynist
New Member
Hi! First time posting here.
I don't want to share a lot of details on the public forum here because we haven't told anyone yet that we're considering this lifestyle. So I'm going to be pretty vague here, and if anyone is willing to talk, I'd really appreciate a confidential conversation.
My wife and I have very little contact with our families due to abuse and extreme dysfunction. That's left us very lonely and overwhelmed raising our family. We're lonely due not only to the lack of family but also due to the fact we have so little time to be together. This has been part of the reason I've begun considering a polygamist lifestyle. We desperately need help with raising our family and we both have a deep need for a close connection to someone our age.
For several years, I didn't bother mentioning it to my wife because I knew there was little to no chance I would actually meet someone who would be interested in this kind of arrangement. That changed recently. I met someone who I instantly connected with. We share many of the same niche interests, the same world view, etc. We talked for about half an hour before my kids came up to us, and I could see she was absolutely devastated when she realized they were mine and that I was already married. But we hung out together for quite a while after that. She was great with the kids. They were singing her praises when we came home.
I had a rough couple weeks after that initial meeting. I knew right away that she was the perfect fit for our family. After several years of considering a hypothetical situation in my head, it now had a potential to become a reality, and I had to talk to my wife about it. Let's call them F1 and F2.
It took a while to work up the courage to talk to my wife about this. She was surprisingly receptive. She hates the thought of sharing me, but she agrees that polygamy is biblical and she shares my vision of all the benefits the arrangement would provide us. She's been lonely her entire life and she loves the idea of having a best friend who's committed to us forever. I knew they'd be best friends once they get to know each other. They're very similar, but F2 is more upbeat and would bring the kind of energy we need to our home. She also loves the idea of having another adult to take over when she needs a break, and potentially even give us a chance to have a night away from the kids for the first time.
I've seen F2 a few times. She seemed distant at first. It seemed like she has strong feelings for me and didn't know how to respond to the fact I'm already married. She was much more relaxed the last time I saw her and we had a great time together. She has no idea that I'm considering asking her to join our family. As far as she's aware, we can only ever be friends.
F1 and F2 haven't met each other yet. I'm planning to introduce them very soon.
I'm not sure how to go about this. I don't want to scare her off by proposing such a wild idea. I'm hoping to get everyone together for dinner, then start doing some fun outings together just to see how it goes having her around our family more. I have no idea at what point or how I'd ever actually ask her to join our family.
Does anyone have advice for me on how to proceed here? Also, I'd really like to find someone to talk to because I don't have anyone in real life I feel comfortable sharing this with right now. I especially want to hear a woman's perspective on this.
I don't want to share a lot of details on the public forum here because we haven't told anyone yet that we're considering this lifestyle. So I'm going to be pretty vague here, and if anyone is willing to talk, I'd really appreciate a confidential conversation.
My wife and I have very little contact with our families due to abuse and extreme dysfunction. That's left us very lonely and overwhelmed raising our family. We're lonely due not only to the lack of family but also due to the fact we have so little time to be together. This has been part of the reason I've begun considering a polygamist lifestyle. We desperately need help with raising our family and we both have a deep need for a close connection to someone our age.
For several years, I didn't bother mentioning it to my wife because I knew there was little to no chance I would actually meet someone who would be interested in this kind of arrangement. That changed recently. I met someone who I instantly connected with. We share many of the same niche interests, the same world view, etc. We talked for about half an hour before my kids came up to us, and I could see she was absolutely devastated when she realized they were mine and that I was already married. But we hung out together for quite a while after that. She was great with the kids. They were singing her praises when we came home.
I had a rough couple weeks after that initial meeting. I knew right away that she was the perfect fit for our family. After several years of considering a hypothetical situation in my head, it now had a potential to become a reality, and I had to talk to my wife about it. Let's call them F1 and F2.
It took a while to work up the courage to talk to my wife about this. She was surprisingly receptive. She hates the thought of sharing me, but she agrees that polygamy is biblical and she shares my vision of all the benefits the arrangement would provide us. She's been lonely her entire life and she loves the idea of having a best friend who's committed to us forever. I knew they'd be best friends once they get to know each other. They're very similar, but F2 is more upbeat and would bring the kind of energy we need to our home. She also loves the idea of having another adult to take over when she needs a break, and potentially even give us a chance to have a night away from the kids for the first time.
I've seen F2 a few times. She seemed distant at first. It seemed like she has strong feelings for me and didn't know how to respond to the fact I'm already married. She was much more relaxed the last time I saw her and we had a great time together. She has no idea that I'm considering asking her to join our family. As far as she's aware, we can only ever be friends.
F1 and F2 haven't met each other yet. I'm planning to introduce them very soon.
I'm not sure how to go about this. I don't want to scare her off by proposing such a wild idea. I'm hoping to get everyone together for dinner, then start doing some fun outings together just to see how it goes having her around our family more. I have no idea at what point or how I'd ever actually ask her to join our family.
Does anyone have advice for me on how to proceed here? Also, I'd really like to find someone to talk to because I don't have anyone in real life I feel comfortable sharing this with right now. I especially want to hear a woman's perspective on this.
It's like once you notice one thing, you'll see ten more.