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Polygynist Messianic Soldier/Healer Adventurer Sailor Homesteader

FlameThePassionate

FlameThePassionate

New Member
Male
Hello, everyone.

I am New, obviously.

I'll try not to make this post too long.

I'm 34 years old, Man, Heterosexual, Messianic Jew, Conservative Republican, Vaccinated, enlisting in The US Army soon (My Gods willing if my Waivers are approved), Musical, Geek, Survivalist, Intellectual, Adventurer, Outdoorsman, Country Man (yeehaw), Virgin, and Future Nurse/Green Beret in The National Guard (6 Year Term, if I get selected after my time as Infantry, not looking to make a 20 Year Career out of it).

My current plan is to re-enlist in the USA Military serving two terms then traveling the world until finally settling down and raising a lot of kids on a farm (mostly adopted, I've wanted to give Orphans a Good Home for many years now).

My one and only relationship I've ever had is really on and off again while we work on ourselves and get our lives together separately.

I told her I'd wait for her, but I just couldn't live in a future where I would turn down other potential Women and being very devout Messianic I live by The Holy Bible so I researched it and found no scriptural conflict with having multiple Wives.

You see where this is heading.

Now, I actually look forward to meeting my future Wives that I don't want to put a number on (as you can probably understand, why put a limit of love?), but I think realistically 12 might be too much. So far, I can forsee 5 at least.

Also, I am definitely set on pursuing this relationship structure, but I am a little scared about all the difficulties I will encounter.

I already have basically no community as a devout Messianic Jew who only follows mostly The Written Torah aka The Teachings in The 1st 5 Books of The Holy Bible and I have a Polytheistic view of The Trinity doctrine, so I'm not finding much community in most Christian Churches or Messianic synongues. I imagine the same would be for Reddits.

It's a similar boat with being a Polygynist, as most of the world makes it illegal and judges us immoral due to Roman influence for centuries and the spread of Roman Catholicism and it's influence even down the generational line even over Atheists coloring their perceptions of non-Monagamy.

Even in The Polyamory community, Polygyny is looked down on often by a lot of people, as the emphasis in Polyamory Communities seems to be on "free love" without any kind of restrictions and hardline commitment especially Marriage with boundaries where you limit things out of love for your partner and not just yourself seems to be often hated. Despite the fact that no two interconnected relationship structures are exactly the same and we have our own "deal breakers" and sexualities. Thrown in religion and it gets even more complicated.

I hoped that I might find some kind of community here.

I hope I wasn't presumptuous.

Here's me giving it another go in this community.

Since I really took awhile to think about it, I've fallen in love with multiple people over the years and I never stopped loving any of them, although we were never sexually together, so I can understand the concept of loving multiple people: I love each of them for who they are as people individually, it's not like a numbers game to me.
 
Welcome @FlameThePassionate.
FlameThePassionate said:
My one and only relationship I've ever had is really on and off again while we work on ourselves and get our lives together separately.
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FlameThePassionate said:
Now, I actually look forward to meeting my future Wives that I don't want to put a number on (as you can probably understand, why put a limit of love?), but I think realistically 12 might be too much. So far, I can forsee 5 at least.
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You've given us a lot of information, were you actually looking for advice? If so:

Your brain is running away into fantasy if you are struggling to make one relationship work yet are expecting to have at least 5 wives. Come back down to reality, and consider the parable of the talents. Be faithful and successful with the little God provides first, and He may entrust you with much more. The opposite applies also though.

Put your mind on the woman you have, not on hypothetical others. It's the only way to actually succeed in either monogamy or polygamy. If you continue your current way of thinking you'll fail spectacularly. But you're young and have plenty of years ahead of you to change tack and succeed.

You're most welcome here, and have certainly found the people you need to talk to. I'm glad you found us.
 
Welcome.

I sense you are trying too much. When you plan to get married. At 40? That's getting oldish even for man.

5 wives? Most men would be lucky to get 2.
 
FollowingHim said:
Welcome @FlameThePassionate.


You've given us a lot of information, were you actually looking for advice? If so:

Your brain is running away into fantasy if you are struggling to make one relationship work yet are expecting to have at least 5 wives. Come back down to reality, and consider the parable of the talents. Be faithful and successful with the little God provides first, and He may entrust you with much more. The opposite applies also though.

Put your mind on the woman you have, not on hypothetical others. It's the only way to actually succeed in either monogamy or polygamy. If you continue your current way of thinking you'll fail spectacularly. But you're young and have plenty of years ahead of you to change tack and succeed.

You're most welcome here, and have certainly found the people you need to talk to. I'm glad you found us.
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You don't know the circumstances or the details of my situation, so you have no right to judge in the first place, second you don't know if I was struggling to make that relationship work or not based off the little information I gave.

And you tell me to stop living in fantasy land while you make up a fantasy about my life that I never stated?

Seriously?
 
MemeFan said:
Welcome.

I sense you are trying too much. When you plan to get married. At 40? That's getting oldish even for man.

5 wives? Most men would be lucky to get 2.
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Your senses are off.

I'm not trying enough, not too much.

I won't be satisfied with a mediocre life having never accomplished my dreams out of laziness or fear.

I have ambition, and the drive to make it happen.

I have plans, not wishes.
 
FlameThePassionate said:
I suppose I expected too much to find support here.
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You are being too unrealistic.

How many men now are currently sleeping with 5 girls? I'm not asking having committed relationship, but something easier.

Look, if you want to be in 0.01% of men, go ahead. Be my guest. What makes you think you will achieve more than 9999 men? To be literally 1 in 10000. 1 in 20/30 is being better than whole class, 1 in 10000 than whole schools.

And you complaining about lack of support proves you aren't 1 in 10000 because otherwise you would be able to stick to your dreams.

By the way, how do you expect to stand against social pressure (which you will have) when it arrives? I did have to listen to screaming women when they find out I wanted poly with their daughters.
 
While I wish the best. I am sure my husband can tell you his journey to three was not an easy one. It took all sides years of work mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Polygyny is not an easy road for those who believe it nor for those who practice it. You will be tested beyond what you think you can endure at times. You will walk through down right fire.
We can all be a support to you but the farmer that prepares his field for rain does so with great planning and care.
The relationship you speak of let’s be real the reality is that more than likely you may be willing to wait for her but most women aren’t going to sit around waiting on you to get ready. Either make a covenant with her or be fair and let her go so she can make a covenant if that opportunity arises. When my husband and I were in the courtship process there was no pressure on either side for me to say yes but when God presented the opportunity I took it. In not pressuring me that made me desire the man he is even more than I already did.
I hope and pray that the Lord leads you and that you learn and grow here.
 
FlameThePassionate said:
I suppose I expected too much to find support here.
Click to expand...

No, but you say you came here to find support. We absolutely do support people but we do not endorse or validate their preconceived notions.

It is not an easy thing to take on a plural. It is not easy to find a first wife who will accept your dream of taking on a plural.

Just my own simple advice here is that if you want to live this life then:

1. Put God at the center of your life and that of your family.
2. Be a man. Be an exceptional man. You are seeking an exceptional life and ordinary men will never find it.
3. Be debt free. The anxiety of debt slavery is a crushing burden on any family. Freedom from debt allows you freedom in life.
4. Be self employed so you'll never get fired for being poly.
5. Own a home big enough for the family you have and the family you want. It is amazing how God will fill it for you.

And welcome to our little part of the internet! :)
 
FlameThePassionate said:
I can forsee 5 at least.
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Focus on one woman first. If that is all God gives you then be happy with that. I was married to my first wife for over 30 years before I took more. I came to a place where I was completely satisfied if that was all that God would provide me, and guess what, he blessed me with two more. To be honest, you probably won't achieve your goal of 5-12 unless your a world class husband, with a significant income.
 
@FlameThePassionate, you have turned up imagining you will be rejected, and then have interpreted the responses you received as being the rejection you are imagining. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We would love to support you to make a success of your life. We will support you by correcting you when you are wrong, and encouraging you when you are right. It would be no support to encourage you when you were wrong, if you want that sort of "support" get a pet dog who will wag his tail at anything you say without thinking about whether it's sensible or not. But here you can find real support.
 
Welcome.
We all dream to some extent, but we must live in reality. You will find plenty of support here, but it will mostly be the clear-eyed variety. As you may have already noticed. 😊
 
FlameThePassionate said:
Hello, everyone.

I am New, obviously.

I'll try not to make this post too long.

I'm 34 years old, Man, Heterosexual, Messianic Jew, Conservative Republican, Vaccinated, enlisting in The US Army soon (My Gods willing if my Waivers are approved), Musical, Geek, Survivalist, Intellectual, Adventurer, Outdoorsman, Country Man (yeehaw), Virgin, and Future Nurse/Green Beret in The National Guard (6 Year Term, if I get selected after my time as Infantry, not looking to make a 20 Year Career out of it).

My current plan is to re-enlist in the USA Military serving two terms then traveling the world until finally settling down and raising a lot of kids on a farm (mostly adopted, I've wanted to give Orphans a Good Home for many years now).

My one and only relationship I've ever had is really on and off again while we work on ourselves and get our lives together separately.

I told her I'd wait for her, but I just couldn't live in a future where I would turn down other potential Women and being very devout Messianic I live by The Holy Bible so I researched it and found no scriptural conflict with having multiple Wives.

You see where this is heading.

Now, I actually look forward to meeting my future Wives that I don't want to put a number on (as you can probably understand, why put a limit of love?), but I think realistically 12 might be too much. So far, I can forsee 5 at least.

Also, I am definitely set on pursuing this relationship structure, but I am a little scared about all the difficulties I will encounter.

I already have basically no community as a devout Messianic Jew who only follows mostly The Written Torah aka The Teachings in The 1st 5 Books of The Holy Bible and I have a Polytheistic view of The Trinity doctrine, so I'm not finding much community in most Christian Churches or Messianic synongues. I imagine the same would be for Reddits.

It's a similar boat with being a Polygynist, as most of the world makes it illegal and judges us immoral due to Roman influence for centuries and the spread of Roman Catholicism and it's influence even down the generational line even over Atheists coloring their perceptions of non-Monagamy.

Even in The Polyamory community, Polygyny is looked down on often by a lot of people, as the emphasis in Polyamory Communities seems to be on "free love" without any kind of restrictions and hardline commitment especially Marriage with boundaries where you limit things out of love for your partner and not just yourself seems to be often hated. Despite the fact that no two interconnected relationship structures are exactly the same and we have our own "deal breakers" and sexualities. Thrown in religion and it gets even more complicated.

I hoped that I might find some kind of community here.

I hope I wasn't presumptuous.

Here's me giving it another go in this community.

Since I really took awhile to think about it, I've fallen in love with multiple people over the years and I never stopped loving any of them, although we were never sexually together, so I can understand the concept of loving multiple people: I love each of them for who they are as people individually, it's not like a numbers game to me.
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Welcome! I love the enthusiasm! Thank for serving the country!
 
FlameThePassionate said:
already have basically no community as a devout Messianic Jew who only follows mostly The Written Torah aka The Teachings in The 1st 5 Books of The Holy Bible and I have a Polytheistic view of The Trinity doctrine, so I'm not finding much community in most Christian Churches or Messianic synongues. I imagine the same would be for Reddits.
Click to expand...
You're welcome to check out our on-line ministry and Torah-oriented fellowship. We're way out in the boondocks of the southern Colorado Rockies, so very few folks are here locally except my own family and a few who have moved to the Mesa, or occasionally a visitor from Alamosa, or some small farming communities in the SLV. But we're available a number of ways on-line (I have a Paltalk room, which is open now, since I'm preparing for the live Sabbath teaching and midrash this week; it's "Walking Torah with Shabbat Shalom Mesa," the fellowship name.)

Midrash is posted later (and I do a number of shows as well, from news to "Come out of her, My people") on Hebrew Nation Radio, and my own ministry website. Queries are welcome, too.
 
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Welcome! I hope you can join our Men's Chat that we have on the second and fouth Wednesday of each month. No tow of us here see eye to eye on everything. relax and enjoy the community. and if we havea a disagreement, we can discuss it.
 
Shalom and welcome.
 
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