So one thing the man who I'm considering becoming a second wife to told me was that he was surprised at how quickly I adapted to the idea.
I think part of it is because I'm Eastern Orthodox, and so spend a lot of time trying to understand how ancient people saw the world. We tend to view everything through a modern lens and thinking we're far more brilliant than those who come before, and I have been trying to unlearn that. Resources like the The Lord of Spirits podcast, The Symbolic World, and Jordan Peterson have been very useful in that endeavor. Along with the hymns in the church.
Now that polygyny is a potential future rather than an abstract idea, and I'm encountering problems and I see the problems others are encountering, I have been thinking about how a modern American worldview may be at odds with the practice of polygyny by the ancients.
I read a cool thing about how English individualism came about due to the influx of Germanic migrants, who left behind the familial and tribal ties that bound them. The American immigration experience was an even starker cut with any tribal ideas, which is why rugged American individualism is a core part of our national identity.
But polygyny is the opposite of individualism. It's essentially a tribal idea. Moses, Abraham, and Jacob were all essentially proto-Bedouin tribal leaders. The Hebrews were tribalist, not individualists. Behaving like a "rugged individualist" was to risk being ostracized from society. Our perspective as modern Americans is vastly different from that of ancient villagers in the Judean desert.
And it's a little too easy for modern people to conflate tribalism with communism, the idea that you lose everything to an idea rather than join a family.
So in Orthodoxy our churches take on just a bit of tribal flavor. There's a particular identity of belonging that it takes American converts some time to adjust to... And we have patron saints, and we view that in a similar way as the ancient Roman patronage system. My patron is Photini (Samaritan Woman) and so I'm on her "team" in a sense. And we are basically obsessed with the Psalms, which charts a very clear image of being a tribal person while still having a unique identity.
I was raised Southern Baptist and becoming Orthodox required me to undergo a significant change in perspective, particularly away from the American Protestant perspective. So the idea that my future is "me-centric" and highly individualistic is no longer as much of a thing. Compared to Augustine, Chrysostom, or Evagrius Ponticus, the idea that my own thoughts are somehow new and brilliant becomes a bit silly. It took four women to birth the 12 tribes of Israel, so why would I think I can do everything alone?
The tribalism in the modern Middle East, much like ancient European tribalism, has a dark side of honor killings and ancient feuds. I'm not certain tribalism is an unqualified good. It has pros and cons, but it did keep the covenant with God alive until the Messiah came.
But American individualism also isn't an unqualified good, and it seems to me that some of the issues I see, admittedly especially on reality tv shows about polygyny, has to do with an unhealthy individualism. It seems that polygynist families that have a healthy tribal nature that doesn't devolve into communal cult seem to fare better than those who have a focus on individualism.
And so perhaps the fact that my journey into Orthodoxy has made me more adaptable to the idea of polygyny has also made me in a way less typically American.
I'm rambling but I think my point was that American individualism seems to really butt heads with the ideas of patriarchy and polygyny.
I think part of it is because I'm Eastern Orthodox, and so spend a lot of time trying to understand how ancient people saw the world. We tend to view everything through a modern lens and thinking we're far more brilliant than those who come before, and I have been trying to unlearn that. Resources like the The Lord of Spirits podcast, The Symbolic World, and Jordan Peterson have been very useful in that endeavor. Along with the hymns in the church.
Now that polygyny is a potential future rather than an abstract idea, and I'm encountering problems and I see the problems others are encountering, I have been thinking about how a modern American worldview may be at odds with the practice of polygyny by the ancients.
I read a cool thing about how English individualism came about due to the influx of Germanic migrants, who left behind the familial and tribal ties that bound them. The American immigration experience was an even starker cut with any tribal ideas, which is why rugged American individualism is a core part of our national identity.
But polygyny is the opposite of individualism. It's essentially a tribal idea. Moses, Abraham, and Jacob were all essentially proto-Bedouin tribal leaders. The Hebrews were tribalist, not individualists. Behaving like a "rugged individualist" was to risk being ostracized from society. Our perspective as modern Americans is vastly different from that of ancient villagers in the Judean desert.
And it's a little too easy for modern people to conflate tribalism with communism, the idea that you lose everything to an idea rather than join a family.
So in Orthodoxy our churches take on just a bit of tribal flavor. There's a particular identity of belonging that it takes American converts some time to adjust to... And we have patron saints, and we view that in a similar way as the ancient Roman patronage system. My patron is Photini (Samaritan Woman) and so I'm on her "team" in a sense. And we are basically obsessed with the Psalms, which charts a very clear image of being a tribal person while still having a unique identity.
I was raised Southern Baptist and becoming Orthodox required me to undergo a significant change in perspective, particularly away from the American Protestant perspective. So the idea that my future is "me-centric" and highly individualistic is no longer as much of a thing. Compared to Augustine, Chrysostom, or Evagrius Ponticus, the idea that my own thoughts are somehow new and brilliant becomes a bit silly. It took four women to birth the 12 tribes of Israel, so why would I think I can do everything alone?
The tribalism in the modern Middle East, much like ancient European tribalism, has a dark side of honor killings and ancient feuds. I'm not certain tribalism is an unqualified good. It has pros and cons, but it did keep the covenant with God alive until the Messiah came.
But American individualism also isn't an unqualified good, and it seems to me that some of the issues I see, admittedly especially on reality tv shows about polygyny, has to do with an unhealthy individualism. It seems that polygynist families that have a healthy tribal nature that doesn't devolve into communal cult seem to fare better than those who have a focus on individualism.
And so perhaps the fact that my journey into Orthodoxy has made me more adaptable to the idea of polygyny has also made me in a way less typically American.
I'm rambling but I think my point was that American individualism seems to really butt heads with the ideas of patriarchy and polygyny.
) but statements made will stand on their own, open to direct correction/criticism.