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Patriarchy Declares Victory After Taking Over Women's Sports, Restrooms, Top Military Roles
Worldviews
October 28th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com
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TOP SECRET—Hundreds of men gathered in a smoke-filled room at a top-secret location today to celebrate the patriarchy's total victory over women, after totally and completely dominating females in sports, invading their bathrooms, and taking all their top roles at large corporations and in government departments.
"Well, boys, we've finally done it: we've conquered the women," said Max Punchwell, the current president of the patriarchy, as he lit up a cigar. "And to think: all we had to do was repackage our agenda as 'trans rights' or whatever the crap we called it, and bam! We're punching women, taking over their bathrooms, and taking their roles in the military."
Punchwell went on to point out how men are setting all the world records in women's sports and detailed men's victories in being named woman of the year by various magazines and taking women's spots in lingerie catalogs and fashion shows.
"And the craziest part is we're being applauded for it! The world ain't what it used to be, I tell you what."
All the other men nodded in masculine silence punctuated only by the occasional manly grunt as they smoked their celebratory cigars and sipped whiskey in front of the fire. Punchwell then proposed a toast to the founder of the patriarchy, Bob Patriarchy, whose portrait was hanging majestically above the blazing fire.
Pumped up from their victory, the men then went outside and punched a moose.
Worldviews
October 28th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com
5.3kSHARE
4.8kSHARE
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TOP SECRET—Hundreds of men gathered in a smoke-filled room at a top-secret location today to celebrate the patriarchy's total victory over women, after totally and completely dominating females in sports, invading their bathrooms, and taking all their top roles at large corporations and in government departments.
"Well, boys, we've finally done it: we've conquered the women," said Max Punchwell, the current president of the patriarchy, as he lit up a cigar. "And to think: all we had to do was repackage our agenda as 'trans rights' or whatever the crap we called it, and bam! We're punching women, taking over their bathrooms, and taking their roles in the military."
Punchwell went on to point out how men are setting all the world records in women's sports and detailed men's victories in being named woman of the year by various magazines and taking women's spots in lingerie catalogs and fashion shows.
"And the craziest part is we're being applauded for it! The world ain't what it used to be, I tell you what."
All the other men nodded in masculine silence punctuated only by the occasional manly grunt as they smoked their celebratory cigars and sipped whiskey in front of the fire. Punchwell then proposed a toast to the founder of the patriarchy, Bob Patriarchy, whose portrait was hanging majestically above the blazing fire.
Pumped up from their victory, the men then went outside and punched a moose.
https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/p...p-saying-bullpen-because-its-insensitive-cows
PETA also calls for an end to referring to falsehoods as 'bullshit' because it's insensitive to flies and bacteria.
PETA also calls for an end to referring to falsehoods as 'bullshit' because it's insensitive to flies and bacteria.
As one who got villified many years ago in local newspapers for suggesting that a lobbying group of counties in PA, OH and WV known as the Power of 33 should consider secession from their individual states to form a 51st state, setting up a new capital in Pittsburgh, I think we should give serious consideration to the notion of a National Divorce before we implode from within:
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/mcmaken-three-reasons-start-taking-secession-seriously
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/mcmaken-three-reasons-start-taking-secession-seriously
I decided to do my own research on this situation because I definitely don’t want to offend the bovine community or cause they/them any more pain or suffering. I’m just here to support the bovine community and listen. I spoke to one cis gendered white-ish male bovine about he/his feelings on the use of the term “bullpen”. While he/him did feel that it was a little early 2000s-ish he/did not find it offensive. I did over hear the farmer say that he was going to preform a reassignment surgery on this particular cis gendered male bovine. I asked said bovine if he /him was excited about the change, all he/him said was “that’s bullsh$t!”
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A split between the states would not end peacefully. The socialist/communist cities will never give up control of the resources of the rural states and rural counties.
Where do you live? It is already so cold here where I live! I would love to go for a swim!I noticed we don't have a random comment thread for posts that are just random and not really meant to start a discussion...you just got something to say!
I'll start:
I am having an unexpected and quiet day! Most of the kids are out of the house on a day trip, the chores are all caught up, and I'm indulging in computer time before I get out for a swim! It's like being on vacation!!!
Sunrise • Coffee • Hot Tub • My Hunny • The National Forest • Sweet Deep Conversation • A Perfect Morning
Your husband is an extremely blessed man to have you as a wife!!
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True, but what they're doing that we're just letting them get away with isn't going to end peacefully, either.
Bad timing for this one being posted here, because @Joleneakamama probably would have been interested in it:
https://www.heritagedaily.com/2021/10/once-in-a-lifetime-roman-statue-discovery/141814
https://www.heritagedaily.com/2021/10/once-in-a-lifetime-roman-statue-discovery/141814
Thankfully, Congress and the President will be safe behind their walls . . . https://twitter.com/JackPosobiec/status/1454419938144366595
More from a trucker on why the supply chain is likely to improve its operation . . .
https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/i...you-why-americas-shipping-crisis-will-not-end
https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/i...you-why-americas-shipping-crisis-will-not-end
We live near Cody, Wyoming where it's 24F outside right now. But we have a pool that gets water from a hot spring so it's always warm. It can smell bad sometimes but it's always warm!
That sounds amazing!!!
KKK Member Posing By Glenn Youngkin's Bus Turns Out To Be Ralph Northam
Politics
October 29th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com
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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—A KKK member posing outside Glenn Youngkin's bus, ostensibly to support the gubernatorial candidate, has turned out to actually just be Governor Ralph Northam in his trusty Klan hood.
"We're all in for Glenn! We're all in for Glenn!" the man in the white hood chanted as Youngkin's bus pulled into a campaign stop in Charlottesville. "We racists love Glenn. Vote for Glenn! We are not associated with the Democratic Party whatsoever, despite the white robe and hood! Go, Republicans!"
One group of curious youths, who had arrived there in a van, was determined to get to the bottom of who exactly this KKK member was. "Something seems a little sus here," the group's leader said while hiding behind the bus. He leaped out and pulled the hood off the KKK member. "Why, it's Ralph Northam! Zoinks!"
"Well, this is awkward, heh," Northam said. He tried to use his pocket sand to escape, but got tripped up on his robes. "You didn't see anything here!" he shouted as he stumbled away. "I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
"Looks like Ralph Northam's blasting off agaaaaaaaaain!!!" (His aides then informed him this was the wrong franchise).
At publishing time, Northam had been spotted posing at another Youngkin event in blackface.
Politics
October 29th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com
9kSHARE
8.2kSHARE
SHARE
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—A KKK member posing outside Glenn Youngkin's bus, ostensibly to support the gubernatorial candidate, has turned out to actually just be Governor Ralph Northam in his trusty Klan hood.
"We're all in for Glenn! We're all in for Glenn!" the man in the white hood chanted as Youngkin's bus pulled into a campaign stop in Charlottesville. "We racists love Glenn. Vote for Glenn! We are not associated with the Democratic Party whatsoever, despite the white robe and hood! Go, Republicans!"
One group of curious youths, who had arrived there in a van, was determined to get to the bottom of who exactly this KKK member was. "Something seems a little sus here," the group's leader said while hiding behind the bus. He leaped out and pulled the hood off the KKK member. "Why, it's Ralph Northam! Zoinks!"
"Well, this is awkward, heh," Northam said. He tried to use his pocket sand to escape, but got tripped up on his robes. "You didn't see anything here!" he shouted as he stumbled away. "I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
"Looks like Ralph Northam's blasting off agaaaaaaaaain!!!" (His aides then informed him this was the wrong franchise).
At publishing time, Northam had been spotted posing at another Youngkin event in blackface.
American Who Got $1,200 In Exchange For Lost Livelihood Wishes He Had Just Illegally Crossed The Border For $450,000 Instead
Politics
October 29th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com
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CLEVELAND, OH—Local factory worker Jay Binslee is kicking himself for working so hard his whole life, only to lose everything during the pandemic when he could have just snuck across the border illegally for a $450,000 payout from the Biden administration.
"Silly me! I guess I've been going about this all wrong," said Binslee. "I've been busting my butt at the factory for over 10 years, and when I lost everything, the government gave me a measly $1,200 dollars! I guess I should have just kidnapped a couple of kids and smuggled them across the border as my own. I'd be able to pay off my car and my house!"
The Biden Administration will be sending millions and millions of dollars to families who broke U.S. law and were separated at the border. They claim this will dissuade immigrants from Guatemala from coming, as Guatemalans don't like money.
The administration also clarified that child separations aren't always bad, and they will be sending $450,000 payouts to abortionists to reward child separations conducted by Planned Parenthood.
Politics
October 29th, 2021 - BabylonBee.com
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6.1kSHARE
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CLEVELAND, OH—Local factory worker Jay Binslee is kicking himself for working so hard his whole life, only to lose everything during the pandemic when he could have just snuck across the border illegally for a $450,000 payout from the Biden administration.
"Silly me! I guess I've been going about this all wrong," said Binslee. "I've been busting my butt at the factory for over 10 years, and when I lost everything, the government gave me a measly $1,200 dollars! I guess I should have just kidnapped a couple of kids and smuggled them across the border as my own. I'd be able to pay off my car and my house!"
The Biden Administration will be sending millions and millions of dollars to families who broke U.S. law and were separated at the border. They claim this will dissuade immigrants from Guatemala from coming, as Guatemalans don't like money.
The administration also clarified that child separations aren't always bad, and they will be sending $450,000 payouts to abortionists to reward child separations conducted by Planned Parenthood.
