I have some thoughts on that, partly because I have watched this play out in my own family. I believe this has everything to do with the degree to which people are wedded to their lust for approval outside of themselves within the human race. Every human being is playing to an audience. The most typical early audience is one's mother and father, and sometimes people simply can't let go of that need to receive approval from their parents, even after their parents have passed away. Generally, though, and especially if one leans toward being extrinsically- versus intrinsically-controlled, one's audience will tend to become more complex as one goes along; usually, in such cases, Mommy and Daddy are still there in the audience, but they've been joined by teachers, pastors, friends, employers and even outright enemies, so Mommy and Daddy seem to fade into the distance, but it's only because the level of approval lust has become overpopulated.
Notice that I didn't list God in the mix, because, as Paul admonished us, when one sincerely makes Yah one's audience, the trend quite naturally moves toward becoming intrinsically-controlled, because it is His Spirit that resides within us, and we intuitively know that seeking approval from the world is antithetical to seeking approval from Him.
So when I observe people being in the habit of raising their voices in the presence of others in order to conduct their conflicts, I now assume they are actors performing their theater scripts to their audiences, which tend to include everyone around them. The purpose is to persuade those around them that they individually are the aggrieved or righteous party in whatever drama they're acting out. Each person in the drama thinks s/he's the one who is righteous in the matter, but each person is still somewhat insecure in the matter as well -- and thus has to beat hir chest in the matter in order to persuade the entire audience of hir superior righteousness. In such a scenario, one is detached from one's Creator (another way to put this would be to say that one's conscience has left the building), and one's need to be right in the matter has trumped both self-awareness and true self-control.
